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The music from the gymnasium was travelling through the courtyard right into the garden, towards which Armin was heading at the moment. There, amidst the light of the night lamps, it was Nathaniel, sitting on a bench. He was breathing in fresh air, taking a break from the party's heavy atmosphere.
"Wanna drink?" Armin shook an alcohol bottle, joining him.
Nathaniel gave his friend a surprised look.
"Where did you get that?" he asked, however it didn't take him long to guess. "Castiel smuggled it in here, didn't he?"
"It was real nice of him to share!" Armin sent him that bright smile of his.
Nathaniel laughed in disbelief, when he shook the bottle again, offering a sip. He wasn't really sure at first, but then he thought: "why not?"
They were sitting like this, in silence, drinking a small bottle of cheap brandy. It seemed to be just enough, after all they were havingc a nice time together, trying to catch a break from the loud music and stuffiness of the gym hall. However, the absolute mess Armin had in his head kept him from enjoying this moment.
How would he even start? How to explain it, to make it make sense? I mean, whatever he's going to say right now will sound bad.
He was throwing the bottle from one hand to another, tapping on it with his fingers and playing with the bottle top, trying to make up a logical sentence in his head. He glanced at Nathaniel, who looked composed and unbothered, with no thoughts whatsoever. Being full of peace, he was looking at the only part of the garden that hasn't been yet covered in darkness.
Whereas Armin's thoughts were starting to make only less and less sense. Maybe he should just do what he always does and not think at all about what he's going to say? It usually worked just fine.
He took a breath in and took a sip of brandy for some courage.
"I kissed your sister."
Yeah, no. He should've thought this through. Now, after letting those words out his mouth, he realized that this time he should've reconsidered his choice of words, before saying anything.
Nathaniel basically just choked on air and gave him a look full of disbelief.
"Wait, what!?" he asked, completely surprised.
"Yeah, well..." Armin let out a nervous laugh, not knowing how to get out of this situation. "We made out. In the locker room."
"No... I... Ugh. I didn't want to know the details," he put his palm on his face, embarassed. "It's just... Why?" The thoughts were circling in his head, as he couldn't figure out how to feel. He wanted to ask about so many things. Not so long ago, at chemistry classes, they were ready to kill each other, but now? What was all that supposed to mean?
Armin remained silent for a while. Every couple moments he would open his mouth, trying to say something, and then he would close it right after. How could he explain it, so it would actually make any sense?
"I, honestly, don't know where to start," he confessed.
Nathaniel seemed to be surprised by his attidute. Usually Armin was quite the talker and now, all suddenly, he's at a loss of words. There had to be something more to it.
"From the beginning" he explained. He had to know, how this happened. Was it possible his best friend had a crush on his sister and didn't tell him a thing?
Eventually, Armin nodded, more confident this time.
"Lately, i've been thinking, that, well, you know... It's the end," Armin started. Nathaniel sent him a ‘it's not explaining anything at all’ kind of look, so he continued. "I really like you, you know?" He started laughing, seemingly at his own words. "And for a long time now, I've been thinking that I'd really like to kiss you. Earlier this year, I tried to tell myself, that maybe I'll have the chance, but now, when everything is coming to an end, I realized I won't. So I talked to Amber.
Both of them were gazing at each other. Armin was trying to read Nathaniel's expression, but he found himself failing. The only thing he spotted was confusion.
"It's that, you know, she needed company and I..." Not getting any reaction from Nathaniel, he went on, frantically wanting to get rid of the weird silence between them. "I thought kissing her would make the thoughts about kissing you disappear. I hoped it'd feel like it was you... But it didn't. Eventually, I figured out, telling you was the only thing that could make me feel at peace." He glanced at Nathaniel, who still kept quiet. He wasn't even looking at Armin anymore, but into the void, lost in thoughts. "I'm sorry if that's... too much for you. I'll go."
Nathaniel took a breath in and out.
"Wait," he said, grabbing his arm to stop him, "stay." Despite feeling lost and hesitant, Armin listened. He, again, took a seat and then made sure to put the alcohol bottle down on the ground, scared he might accidently spill it out from all the emotions.
Nathaniel adjusted his position, as so to make looking in his friend's eyes easier. He was wondering, what words would be best to use, however he was taking it slowly. The very last thing he'd want to do now is saying something stupid.
Armin, on the other hand, didn't like the silence between them. No, because this silence was awfully loud, nearly screaming into his ear that something wasn't right, that he should go. Every second he would nervously look away. The atmosphere got way too serious for his liking.
"Listen," finally, Nathaniel started, which allowed Armin to concetrate again. "I, too, really like you. Actually, I've had a crush on you for a while now."
Suddenly Armin smiled and laughed, and with that laugher all his nerves went away.
"Really?" he asked.
"Really." Nathaniel smiled back at him and sighned. "So, maybe you could kiss me right now and we'll forget all about what you were doing in the locker room with my sister?"
Armin didn't answer. Because he didn't have to. They got closer, so as to peck each others' lips. It was gentle, almost shy, as if they still couldn't believe it was happening.
Although they both backed away after this moment, it was only a few inches seperating them. Armin was shifting his gaze from Nathaniel's eyes to his lips and back to eyes again, unsure what he should do. Whereas Nathaniel just couldn't stop himself from looking at Armin's eyes. Blue was always his favorite color, but the shade of these irises was, without a doubt, the most incredible of all. It was simply mesmerizing.
Feeling it was certainly not enough, they kissed again. This time longer, yet still subtly. Suddenly, Nathaniel felt Armin's lips slowly turning into a smile, which forced them to break the kiss all too soon.
"What?" Nathaniel asked, seeing Armin's amusement. "What's so funny?"
"Sorry, I just..." he covered his face with his hand to, at least partially, hide his laugher. "How could I even think kissing Amber would be anything like kissing you!?" he explained, nearly shouting in disbelief, albeit still having a smile on his face.
Nathaniel also let out a laugh, then grabbed his hand.
"I think we were supposed to forget about that."