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Grimacing, Remus tried not to look at himself as he towelled off from his shower, but it was hard to miss the black, curving letters etched into his skin, right above his left buttock. The name still sent rage coursing through him, and the very idea that his ex had not only managed to get him pissed enough to agree to the tattoo in the first place, but that he found a tattoo artist who would actually do it on someone so inebriated.
Remus couldn’t even remember the name of the shop, let alone where it had been. He knew they’d been up in Chelsea, and Gilderoy had been blathering on about some mate’s party. The next thing Remus knew, he was waking up with an aching arse and found his so-called boyfriend with his mouth around some other bloke’s cock in the loo—apparently having forgotten Remus was there in the first place.
He attempted to have the thing removed, looking up every technique on the internet which didn’t involve gouging out a huge portion of his skin and muscle. But tattoo laser removal was more than he could even begin to afford, and when he brought it up to Lily at work, she shook her head.
“You’re just going to have to get it covered up.” She blinked her big, green doe eyes at him, her mouth quirking into a smile she couldn’t seem to help. “But really, Re. Do you really, honestly have Gilderoy Lockhart tattooed on your arse?”
Remus flushed red. “Fuck. Off.”
“Do you just…I mean do you realise how many people are going to think you’re some fanboy?”
“I really hate you.”
“You love me,” she corrected. Then her eyes went wide. “You know what, I think I know someone who can help.”
Remus’ eyebrows lifted. “Really?”
“James’ best mate from school has a tattoo shop. He and his brother run it. He’s actually amazing, and I bet he could come up with something.”
Remus wanted to slam his head into the desk. “Lils, it’s in all black. It’s a giant black script of that wanker’s name. On my arse! Aside from just tattooing a massive black rectangle around it, what’s he going to do?”
Lily tried not to laugh, she did. She put in a massive amount of effort, but she couldn’t help it. Dissolving into giggles, she got up from her desk and hurried off before Remus could actually make good on his silent promise to kill her where she stood if she kept taking the piss.
Fifteen minutes later, Lily returned, poking her head round the side of Remus’ cubicle and she passed over a card. It was plain white, with an address in the centre, a number, and the name Sirius and Regulus Black etched across the top.
“Look, I know I’m being a twat about it, but what he did was really wrong, and if anyone can come up with anything, it’s Sirius. At least stop in. Believe me, if anyone will understand horrible mistakes whilst pissed, it’s him.”
“Well if this is the bloke James keeps talking about over drinks, then I guess so,” Remus muttered. He took the card and stared down at it, then looked back up at his computer with increasing emails in his inbox from incensed authors who didn’t like the changes he’d made to their manuscripts. He looked over at the tiny number in his to-edit queue which had grown by two, and he put his head down on the desk. “I think I’m going to take a long lunch. A very long lunch.”
Lily giggled. “His shop is less than ten minutes away. Just…saying.”
“I hate you,” he muttered again, but grabbed his mobile and keys, and wandered out.
***
Exactly five minutes and forty second later, Remus was stood out in front of the tattoo shop. It was fairly unobtrusive, nestled between a chippy and Domino’s Pizza which gave the air around it a greasy, almost heavy smell. The windows were fogged glass, and a neon sign read Tattoo hung in the corner, blinking like it was about to go out.
Remus sighed, putting his hand on the door, dreading that he’d have to tell the story all over again. To a stranger. A stranger who knew James Potter—and whilst Remus did like James a great deal, James was a little bit…well he was Lily’s other half—which spoke volumes. Many, many volumes.
Sighing, he pulled the door open and walked in. He wasn’t sure what to expect—on one hand the shop was very much like any other tattoo shop he’d seen before. There was art covering the walls from end to end, most of them tattoo designs, a few framed pieces of art which he assumed had been done by the artists. Along the window was a tatty, torn leather sofa, and a table in front of it with several photo books.
There was a massive counter which separated the tattoo and piercing area from the main waiting area, and behind the counter were two men who had to be related—brothers he assumed. The taller one had long, pitch black hair in a french plait down his back, his left arm covered from shoulder to wrist in tattoos, and several piercings in his ear. He was incredible to look at, Remus noticed right away. Gorgeous wasn’t even the right word for what he was. The shorter one had a sharp undercut, his features just a little softer and rounder than the other.
He was also holding the other one by the chin, looking up his nose.
“Be right with you,” the taller one called, his voice very muffled by the hand of his brother.
Remus watched with some fascination, unable to turn away, as the shorter brother produced a massive needle, and as Remus winced hard, he shoved it through the taller one’s septum. Remus looked away then, but the brothers only chuckled, and when Remus finally turned back, there was a ring hanging down from the taller brother’s nose.
“I’m Sirius, and this is my brother, Regulus. How can we help?”
Remus swallowed. “I’m erm. Here for an assessment. Lily Potter sent me, said you might be able to help.”
The brothers turned to each other and in a sudden flash, they weren’t speaking English.
“Hoei khon ni narak, yak sak khon ni,” Sirius said, grinning wildly.
Regulus rolled his eyes. “Nai sak khon ti laew pai laew. Khon ni ta chan.”
Sirius’ eyes widened, a look of horror across his face. “Tae nai mai chop phu chai duai sam!”
Regulus grinned wickedly, shrugging. “Ching tae chan chop tham hai nai krot.”
“Kiet nai,” Sirius said, his voice dripping with disdain. He grimaced and poked at the ring in his nose.
“Mai ching rok.” Regulus took a step back and smiled at Remus, immediately switching back to English. “How can I help you?”
“Actually, Lily told me to talk with Sirius about erm…my…tattoo. Um. My tattoo problem.”
Sporting a grin like the cat who got the canary, Sirius walked forward, throwing the low, wooden door to the side and beckoned Remus over. He shot a triumphant grin at his eye-rolling brother, then beckoned Remus to the back of the shop.
“We can go into my room. We reserve this space for piercings, mostly.” He paused, like he was suddenly remembering his manners. “Hi, by the way. You’re friends with Lily?”
Remus stuck out his hand, trying not to suck in his breath when Sirius’ incredibly soft palm pressed against his own. The last thing he needed was to get a crush on a man he was about to show his arse to. Fuck, this was the worst situation he could have gotten himself into. “Er, Remus,” he said when he realised he’d been silent for way too long.
Sirius chuckled a little as he pushed open the heavy door to his tattoo room. It was small, a chair that resembled something from a dentist office in the centre, and there were far less drawings on the wall. There was a massive drawing table along the side though, equipped with a light underneath which Remus assumed was used for tracing. He had biro, markers, and paints strewn about everywhere, and in the corner was a canvas half-done with blue and blacks swirled round abstractly.
“Have a seat,” Sirius said, nodding to the dentist chair as he took a small, rolling stool.
Remus perched awkwardly on the end of the funny chair, and took a breath. “Erm. So, I explained to Lily my er…my problem. And she said you were the best one to help. About getting a tattoo.”
Sirius cocked his head to the side and regarded him carefully. “Remus,” he said the name as though he were trying it out, rolling it a little on his tongue with a slight hint of an accent from the language he’d been speaking earlier, “have you gotten a tattoo before?”
Remus coughed. “Well see, that’s the problem. I have, and I need it covered up.”
Sirius brightened a little, leaning back against his drawing table. “Oh, that’s no problem at all. One of my specialties, in fact. You want to show me what it is?”
“Not…not really,” Remus admitted, blushing from his freckled cheeks to the top of his messy curls. “I reckon I have to but I should probably explain.”
Sirius nodded, looking more curious by the minute. “Alright. Go on.”
Rubbing his face, Remus let out a frustrated growl. “Mind, I’ve nothing against tattoos, but I never considered getting one before. Just never thought. But I was dating this…this arse,” he spat, trying to reign in his frustration, “and well…we got pissed one night and somehow he talked a tattoo shop into having something put on me.”
“Without your consent?” Sirius asked, his voice almost in a growl.
Remus swallowed. “Well I guess I gave it?”
“No,” Sirius said, shaking his head. “If you were too pissed to be tattooed, you were too pissed to give consent. I swear to god there is no fucking standards in this industry sometimes and I just…” He broke off in a long tirade that wasn’t English before stopping himself.
Remus quirked a brow. “Can I ask what language that was?”
Sirius blinked. “Shit. Sorry, I do that when I get angry. And anyway it’s Thai. Spoke only that until I was four and mother decided we were to be proper English gents. Obviously that worked out well.” He flicked his new piercing, then winced. “Anyway, so your boyfriend found some scum of the earth to tattoo you. It does happen, you know. More than I like to admit.”
“Well that’s not…that’s not all,” Remus said, sighing. “It’s kind of in the worst spot.”
Sirius quirked a single brow. “Your dick?”
Remus gave an involuntary cough. “Christ, no! People do that?”
“They can. With loads of Viagra and someone to suck them whilst it’s happening. It’s…a process. I don’t do it usually. But clearly that wasn’t it.”
“No. Christ,” Remus said again. “No it’s er. Right above my arse.” He braced himself for Remus to laugh the way Lily had, but he merely nodded for Remus to continue. “It’s his name. My ex.”
“What a fucking shithead,” Sirius muttered. “Big thing?”
“Fairly,” Remus said miserably. “And it’s black and…I don’t even know what you could do with it. I looked into tattoo removal but it’s so expensive and it’s so…it’s so dark. The woman I spoke to about it said there’s a good chance they couldn’t get it fully removed. I do not want to live with his name on my arse forever,” Remus moaned.
Sirius gave him a sympathetic look, his hands twitching like he wanted to reach over and touch Remus out of comfort. “I know this is horrible for you, but if you let me see it, I can almost guarantee you I can come up with something. Believe me, there’s nothing to be ashamed of. This was not your fault.”
Letting out a sigh, Remus stood up from the barmy chair and swallowed. “Alright. Well… I reckon you’ve seen all sorts of body parts so…”
“I have,” Sirius said. “I swear it’s all clinical.”
Remus smiled, and felt more at ease than he had all day. Undoing his button and zip, he carefully eased his jeans to his knees, then pulled the hem of his boxers halfway down his arse. Lifting his shirt, he turned to show Sirius the offending bit of flesh.
“I’m putting on some gloves, and I’m going to touch you, if that’s okay. I just want to see how well it’s healed up.”
“Alright,” Remus said very quietly.
He heard the sound of gloves being pulled from a box, and the snap of rubber as Sirius eased his fingers into them. A moment later, there was a careful touch on his upper back, then fingers sliding down. Sirius prodded a bit, and it was still achy, but the tattoo was peeling now, great flakes of dead skin dyed black with ink, and more than anything it just itched.
“Well, it looks clean,” Sirius said carefully as he ran the tip of his finger over the name. “And I would recommend getting tested to be safe, especially if you were too drunk to remember the whole night.”
“Yeah,” Remus said, feeling his body shake a little at the thought that it could be worse than just a tattoo.
“I wouldn’t worry too much. And I can definitely come up with something. I won’t be able to work on it for at least a month though. Or you’re going to scar. That’ll give me time to work on a design and we can go over what you’d like.”
“Fuck,” Remus said, his head bowing, and he felt a sudden urge to cry. “I’m sorry, I just…”
Sirius’ hand had returned, pressing to the centre of his back hard, comforting. “Don’t be sorry. This was a fucking violation. Can I ask you a question though?”
Remus took in a shaking breath, then pulled up his boxers and jeans. “Sure.”
“Why’d your ex get Gilderoy Lockhart’s name tattooed on you?”
Remus turned, very carefully, his cheeks pink all over again. “That erm…that’s my ex.”
Sirius’ eyes widened. “That fucking poncy…” He stopped himself, shaking his head. “Shit. Remus, I’m really sorry. What a fucking…” He stopped again. “I’m being really unprofessional.”
“It’s alright,” Remus said, rubbing his face. “You know him or something.” Then he froze. “Shit, you and James went to school together. With him.”
Sirius nodded. “We did. You know, James and I are very clever. You want us to think of a way to get back at him?”
Remus couldn’t help a startled laugh as he eased himself back up on the chair. “That’s really nice of you, but no. I’d rather just…just get rid of it, and hopefully never have to think of it again.”
“Fair enough.” Sirius grabbed a sketch book and a charcoal pencil, pulling his stool very near Remus’ legs. “Alright then, let’s talk design. I think between the both of us, we can come up with something you’ll be happy to live with across your arse for the rest of your life.”
It shouldn’t have made Remus feel better but oddly…it did.
***
“So,” Lily said nearly a week later, “I guess your meeting with Sirius went well.”
Remus pinked and he hit the save button on his current document before rolling his chair back. “What gave you that idea?”
“Only that James said Sirius has been talking about you nonstop since your little tattoo evaluation.”
Remus flushed harder, looking away from the redhead. The truth was, he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Sirius, either. They spent a full hour going over designs, and eventually Sirius sketched out a rough draft of branches cascading a little up his back, like a vine, with a moon at the top. It wouldn’t be big, but it would cover the name easily, and Sirius assured him no one would ever be able to see the original again. Remus could forget it existed.
When he left the shop, Sirius’ voice was echoing through his head, and he found himself counting down the days to when he could meet with the tattoo artist again.
During the meeting, Sirius touched him several times, on the knee, on the hand, and Remus wanted to believe it was something more than just standard procedure, but who was he kidding? He was some swotty editor in tweed half the time, and Sirius was pierced and tattooed and just all around cool. And cool people definitely didn’t want to date Remus Lupin.
“Lily, I’m sure he’s just excited for a job like this. It’s not cheap, you know.” Although it actually was a bit. Cheaper than Remus thought it would be, and he wondered if maybe he was getting some discount for knowing Lily and James.
“Mm, well if you say so. Though he did mention to James to mention to me, to do a little re-con work and see if you’d be open to I dunno…going out for a drink. After your work is done?”
Remus almost choked on air as he stared at Lily. “Please don’t take the piss. It’s been a long couple of weeks and…”
“I wouldn’t do that to you,” Lily said, all mirth gone from her face. “Sirius is a good bloke. I know he looks a bit…”
“Sexy,” Remus blurted, then promptly turned the shade of an overripe tomato. “I mean…”
“Oh good,” she said, her grin returning. “I was hoping you’d think so. I think the two of you would be good for each other. If you’re asking my opinion.”
“Which I am absolutely not,” Remus retorted, mortified.
“Well suit yourself. But do me a favour Remus, if he asks you—and he probably will because I’ve no intention of keeping my mouth shut, say yes. Neither of you will regret it.”
Remus fought the urge to smash his head on his desk until it rendered him unconscious. Instead he went back to his desk and tried not to stare at the day on the calendar creeping by like they were years. The only thing good that had come of the wait was the tests which came back clean. Now all he had to do was remove all traces of that arse, Gilderoy Lockhart.
***
Four weeks later, to the day, Remus was stood in front of Sirius’ shop, wondering if he should walk in. Lily hadn’t said anything to him since then, but James had winked far too many times for it to have been a bit of dust in his eye, and the pair of them were whispering as Remus was making his way out of the office that afternoon.
Feeling self-conscious, Remus contemplated running off and just living with Gilderoy’s name on his arse for the rest of his life. Which obviously he couldn’t, so he opened the door and walked in.
Regulus was behind the counter, and he looked up with a mild smirk when he saw Remus there. “Sirius is in the back getting set up for you. Go on in.” He kicked the short door open for Remus, and nodded him along.
Remus did his best to avoid eye-contact, as he assumed everyone now knew he’d called Sirius sexy at his office. His hands were trembling though as he knocked on the heavy door, then pushed it open.
Sirius was at his drawing table, getting the ink an tattoo gun set up along with a smear of something sticky looking, and several sheets of kitchen paper. He looked up when Remus entered, and his face broke into a sunny smile.
“Oh good. I was a little worried you wouldn’t show.”
Remus frowned. “Why’s that?”
“Because the last time you did this you were pissed, and it wasn’t very pleasant.”
Remus shrugged. “Well pleasant or not, I refuse to live with that twat’s name on my arse forever.”
Sirius chuckled a little, and motioned Remus to the chair which had miraculously been laid completely flat. “I’m going to close the curtains, and you need to have both jeans and pants off. I won’t look until you’re on the chair, and I’ll cover up what I don’t need with a towel, alright?”
Remus swallowed thickly and did as Sirius asked. Before long he was sprawled out on his belly, his arse exposed to God and the world, and he was hating Gilderoy with very passing second. He half considered taking Sirius up on his offer to get revenge because this was humiliating.
Before Remus could react, there was a warm, heavy cloth which draped across his legs, covering most of his right buttock, and part of his left. “Comfy?” Sirius asked.
“Is that rhetorical?” Remus asked, and when Sirius laughed, he shrugged. “Comfy as one can get with your arse in the air about to have it marked for life.”
Sirius put his hand in the centre of Remus’ back and rubbed it just a little. “Look, I know this is not anything you ever wanted, but I want you to look at yourself in the mirror from time to time and not feel absolute regret. If you’re hesitant about what I’m doing…”
“No,” Remus said in a hurry, pushing up on his elbows to look at Sirius. “It’s not you. What you designed is wonderful and I love it. I just…I didn’t want this.”
Sirius looked sad for a moment, and absently reached up to brush a curl way from Remus’ forehead. “I’m sorry it happened to you.”
Remus shrugged. “We all make mistakes. Some of us just pay more than others.” Flopping back down, he let out a breath and closed his eyes as Sirius started to prep the area. “You know the next morning,” Remus muttered, his cheek mashed against the smooth plastic covering on the chair. “When I woke up with my sore arse and the worst hangover I’ve ever had?”
“Yeah?” Sirius asked quietly. He was rubbing something sticky on the skin now, and pressing the stencil down hard with his palm.
“I wandered into the loo because I wanted to see why my arse was stinging so badly. I couldn’t remember anything really. I flicked on the light, and there he was with some bloke’s cock in his mouth.”
Sirius froze, leaning over toward Remus’ face. “You joking?”
Remus shook his head, letting out a bitter laugh. “Nope. We’d only been dating a few weeks but…” He groaned and pushed his face against the plastic. “I’m a fucking idiot.”
“No,” Sirius said, his voice low and gravelly. “He’s the fucking idiot. You really ought to let me and Jamie get even. He shouldn’t be allowed to get away with this.”
Remus sighed. “I appreciate the thought.”
“At least let us start a rumour,” Sirius said. He resumed his work, pulling his ink and tattoo gun closer. He tested the skin, then pressed his gloved palm to Remus’ lower back. “Alright, this is probably going to hurt a lot. There’s a lot of nerves in this area, so if you need to stop, say the word. But we’ll get through this, alright?”
Remus nodded, bracing himself. “Just…just do it. Erase that bastard from my arse.”
Sirius stroked his fingers down the skin, then pushed the button on the gun and a loud buzzing filled the room. “That, my darling Remus, is something I can do.”
***
Sirius hadn’t been lying when he said it would hurt. The whole process took three and a half hours, and by the end Remus had tears leaking from his eyes. But every time he wanted to quit, Sirius reminded him they only had a little more left to go. So he soldiered on and before he could give up for good, it was over.
Sirius carefully applied some of the soothing cream to the skin, then used two mirrors so Remus could get a good look. Sirius hadn’t been lying about his skill. There wasn’t a trace of the signature anywhere, and it was actually very beautiful. Very him. He never in his life thought he would love the sight of a tattoo on his body, but this took his breath away.
He didn’t realise a few tears had fallen until Sirius offered him a tissue, and he gave an embarrassed laugh. “Sorry. Dunno why I’m…”
“It’s normal,” Sirius assured him as he pulled off his gloves and applied some clear plastic to the tattoo with a bit of medical tape. “Especially cover-ups like this. The pain helps release emotions, and it’s not always pretty.”
“You did an amazing job,” Remus said as he eased himself up. “I cannot thank you enough.” Swiping at his face, he looked away, horribly embarrassed.
Sirius paused a moment, then reached out, taking Remus by the shoulder and turning him. With his long, slender fingers, he reached out and cupped Remus’ cheeks, swiping his thumb through the remaining tear tracks. “How about go on a date with me.”
Remus laughed thickly, shaking his head. “Lily told you?”
“She told James who told my brother, who told me.”
Remus rolled his eyes. “Christ.” His gaze wandered to the piercing in Sirius’ septum, and never had Remus seen anything look so sexy before. His breath caught, and he shrugged. “Yeah, alright. When?”
“How about now?”
Remus laughed again, and when Sirius tugged him close, wrapping an arm around his waist, he swore nothing had ever felt so right. “Okay. I’ll have to check my schedule but… I think I’m free.”
He was rewarded with a dazzling smile, and a gentle nuzzle along his neck.
***
Six Months Later
Remus burst into the flat, holding a copy of the paper, his eyes wide. James and Sirius were at the table with an open box of pizza, beers between them, grinning as Remus slammed it down on the table.
“You two did this. It had to be you.”
Sirius rose, putting his arms round Remus’ waist, and kissed him soundly. “I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re talking about, love.”
Remus rolled his eyes, pushing Sirius away. “I told you to leave it.”
“Look, no one can prove anything,” James said, waving his hand in the air at Remus. “But you really think we could let something like that go unpunished.”
“But…he hasn’t got a tattoo of the Loch Ness Monster on his cock,” Remus said.
Sirius threw his head back and howled with laughter before grabbing Remus by the back of his head and slipping his tongue into his mouth. “I know that,” he mumbled against Remus’ lips. “But no one else does. And Gildy isn’t going to drop his pants to show the world whether or not his cock is tattooed.”
“Also it’s not just that. He’s also supposedly got the words, ‘Open Wide for Nessie’ tattooed above his cock,” James said with a grin.
Sirius broke into another peal of laughter as he grabbed a beer and shoved it into Remus’ hands. “This is what happens when you fuck with the people I love.”
Remus rolled his eyes, but as much as he wanted to be offended—and as much as it was a little terrifying that James and Sirius had enough connections to pull this off—he was also touched. “You weren’t in love with me then, you know,” Remus pointed out.
Sirius scoffed, climbing into Remus’ lap the moment the taller man took a chair. “Well,” he said, and nuzzled his boyfriend’s neck, “maybe I was. I just didn’t know it yet. I mean, love at first sight exists, after all. Are you trying to tell me you weren’t head over heels the moment you set foot in my shop?”
“You mean as Reg was shoving a needle through your nose?” Remus countered.
Sirius snickered, kissing Remus up and down his jawline. “You know it turns you on.” He grabbed his cheeks tenderly and held on tight. “I love you Remus Lupin, and this is just a reminder you don’t fuck with the people I love.”
“Exactly,” James cut in. “You belong to us now.”
“Mostly me,” Sirius said. “My Moony.”
“I get weekend visits,” James said with a wink. “But we have each other’s backs, Remus. So just accept it.”
Remus sighed, but couldn’t help his smile as he wrapped his arms round his boyfriend and kissed him back. Maybe it was a bit mad, but it didn’t change facts. He loved Sirius Black just as much. And it also gave him no small joy to think of Gilderoy attempting to address these rumours, knowing they’d never be put to rest until he showed the world his naked cock.