Chapter Text
On a cool October night, the lights of Gotham City shine. It is a rare occasion that clouds do not fill the night sky, allowing the moon and the stars to be more visible than usual. Robin chose a great night to do a stakeout.
Robin, the Boy Wonder. A black-haired, sixteen year-old boy squats on the rooftop of a warehouse built decades ago. He hides his eyes behind a black mask as he stares through a pair of binoculars at an alleyway across the street. His recently cleaned costume consists of a bright red torso piece with a yellow “R” on his heart. His arms and legs are covered with green padding as black and green tactical boots cover his feet. To top off this colorful ensemble, he wears a black and yellow cape. He sticks out like a sore thumb, no matter the weather.
Despite being the sidekick of the Dark Knight, he is still a teen, a teen boy at that. He can easily get bored. No movement in the alleyway across the street ever since he got here. And he’s supposed to be here all night. On a school night no less! Why did Batman make him do this alone? Robin knows why. He begged Batman to let him go on a mission all by himself. “I’m a big boy,” he told Batman. “I’m skilled and have enough experience to be by myself.” How Robin regrets that now.
Robin groans out of boredom and hops down from the short wall on the roof. He paces around the rooftop until he reaches a skylight. He glances down at the warehouse below before he returns to the wall. Still nothing. He gazes up at the sky and sees a symbol, the Bat Symbol. Usually when Robin would see the Symbol, he would head straight towards it with Batman, but not tonight. No, Robin won’t be going tonight because of his “brilliant” idea to plead Batman for his own mission. It does feel weird though, not going to it. It probably feels weird for Batman too. He’s had Robin as his sidekick for almost two years now. Batman could be killed if Robin isn’t there. Robin disgards this possibility. Batman was Batman before he ever met Robin. He won’t die tonight. But Robin might.
Robin surveys the area. No sign of action, let alone any criminals. Could never be too sure. Paranoia creeps up on the Boy Wonder. He begins to worry. Oh great. Another thing to worry about. As if school wasn’t enough. But it’s not. In addition to that, he is secretly harboring a crush on two people. He’s had it for a while, and man, is it eating him alive. Having a crush on one person would be one thing, but having a crush on two people at one time? That is not ideal, especially when one of those people is his occasional co-sidekick, Batgirl.
Batgirl. What a beauty in the eyes of Robin. Even though he has never seen her face, he can guarantee she is gorgeous under the cowl. Plus, she has that orange hair that flows under the cowl, flying in the wind as she grapples throughout the city. And her-- No Robin! Must stay focused. Batman doesn’t get distracted by girls. Well, there is Catwoman. But it’s not Batman’s fault. Her main objective in life is to catch the eye of the Dark Knight and distract him. Is it all a ruse, or does she actually like him?
Robin snaps out of this and returns to his binoculars. He stares at the empty alleyway and waits, and waits, and waits. Boredom returns, so to defeat it, he thinks about the other person he has a crush on, a student in his class named Barbara Gordon, the commissioner’s kid. Another red-head. “Do I have a thing for red-heads?” Robin often asks himself. No matter. But unlike with Batgirl, Robin has seen Barbara’s face, even though her eyes are often covered by her glasses, but that doesn’t matter. Robin has a thing for nerds, and man does he think this nerd is pretty, despite her having an “I’m-smarter-than-you” personality. Come to think of it, Batgirl has that too. Does he like girls who are smarter than him? Are red-headed bossy girls his thing?
No! Enough of that Robin. Focus on the mission. He tries to, but his mind wanders back to the girls. What hurts the most about his crush on Barbara, as well as with Batgirl, is that none of them could ever work. He couldn’t date a co-sidekick. That would ruin the flow of everything! And if they broke up? Devastating. And with Barbara, she’s the commissioner’s kid. Robin can’t date her! He’s worked with her dad for nearly two years now. They’ve formed a platonic bond. It would just feel too weird.
A car speeds down the road, snapping Robin out of his dreaming. The car races down the road below, but there is no way Robin can catch it. Plus, he’s not out here to stop people from speeding. He’s out here to stop a sale of Scarecrow’s fear toxins. He returns his attention to the alleyway across the street, unaware that he is being watched by a woman in leather behind him, this lady being Catwoman.
Catwoman, Selina Kyle, a wonderful rags to riches story. Grew up on the cold and wet streets of Gotham as an orphan, but somehow accumulated lots of wealth. She became so wealthy that Gotham’s elite took notice of her (and because of her dashing good looks), and they began to invite her to their balls and galas. But Robin and Batman know how Miss Kyle became a millionaire. Stealing. Artwork and jewelry go for a lot of money these days on the black market, especially if the stolen item belonged to a museum. But stealing is not why Catwoman is on the rooftop with Robin this evening.
Catwoman, a lady in a skintight leather bodysuit, along with a mask with cat ears, struts towards Robin in her heels silently. A whip hangs off her belt as she approaches the young vigilante. She is usually pretty quiet, but she should be heard by the Boy Wonder, however, he is too distracted by staring at the alleyway and daydreaming. Luckily for Robin, Catwoman isn’t here to kill him.
Robin stares through his binoculars at the alleyway, unaware of the seductress creeping up behind him.
“You’re dead!”
Robin jumps and throws a punch at Catwoman who rolls away with a smirk. Robin hops off the wall and begins to throw an array of acrobatic kicks and punches at Catwoman who avoids each attack with ease. She is rather enjoying this while the Boy Wonder works up a sweat.
“Don’t get too tired, Boy Wonder.”
“I don’t get tired.”
“I see. Now, where is Mama Bird at?”
“Not here, as you can see.”
Robin lands a kick onto Catwoman’s belly, pushing her a few steps back. At first, she appears angry at this infliction of pain, but she soon changes her tune.
“Good job, Robin.”
“Why are you here?”
Robin keeps his guard up as Catwoman circles him as if he were prey.
“Can’t a gal gallivant across the rooftops of Gotham City? It is a beautiful night.”
“Not when she’s a known thief.”
“Oh, don’t you tell me you’ve now subscribed to Mama Bird’s opinion of me, now have you?”
Robin says nothing and drops his guard, so Catwoman stops. She stands in front of him and inspects the boy.
“Finally on your own I see. He must trust you now.”
“He does. I’m not a sidekick any more.”
“I’m sure. Well, here’s a tip for you when you’re out on your own. Listen to your surroundings. If I were Joker, or Bane, or… even Man-Bat, you’d be a dead baby bird.”
“I’ll keep that in mind next time.”
Catwoman spots the binoculars on the wall and dashes towards them. Robin throws a bat-a-rang at her and hits her right in the hand as she grabs them, so she drops them out of pain.
“You didn’t have to hurt me.”
“You didn’t have to try and steal my equipment.”
“I just wanted a look.”
“Just like when you wanted a look at the Rosas Emerald?”
“Exactly. Except this time, it took less planning.”
Catwoman turns and gazes down at the alleyway.
“Stakeout, hm? For how long?”
Robin approaches Catwoman, snatches up the binoculars, and eyes the alleyway.
“A little over an hour.”
“Rather boring then, huh? And on a school night! Tsk, tsk, tsk. That Dark Knight of yours isn’t doing a good job. I might have to call Child Protective Services--”
“What are you doing here, Selina?”
Catwoman stretches. “Just hanging out. So, what’s the stakeout?”
Robin eyes the smirking lady.
“Oh, you can’t trust me? So you can trust me when I teach you how to be more agile in your fighting style, but not when you’re on a mission? Rather selfish.”
“Scarecrow fear toxin. Supposed to be a deal here.”
“Then it’s a good thing that you’re here.”
Both Robin and Catwoman stare at the alleyway, and wait, and wait, and wait. Catwoman can sense Robin’s restlessness and smirks.
Robin senses the smirk and turns to the lady to ask, “What?”
“Nothing. It’s just you.”
“Me? Look, I have work to do, and if you’re not--”
“You’re clearly distracted by something, little birdy. Cough it up. What is it?”
“First of all, I’m not distracted. And second, why would I tell you anything?”
“Maybe because you trust me. You trust me with your training, you trust me with this information, you’ve previously defended me in front of Mr. Tall, Dark, and Brooding. So, what’s up, Kitten?”
Robin weighs his options. She is a cat burglar who doesn’t even know his name. But, she is right about having trusted her before, and defending her. Plus, she’s been very protective of him. Hell, she took a bullet for him. Jumped in the way and everything. Maybe he can trust her.
“Do you promise not to tell anyone?”
“Cross my heart and hope to die.”
Robin eyes Catwoman with trepidation. He glances back at the alleyway.
“Don’t worry about that. If someone comes by, we’ll know.”
“Okay. Um… I have a crush on this girl. Two girls actually. One in my class and the other… It doesn’t matter.”
“It’s Batgirl isn’t it?”
“Is not!”
Selina does not believe Robin and he knows this.
“Fine. It’s her, but you promised not to tell anyone.”
“And I’ll keep that promise.”
“Well, I just don’t know what to do. It’s hard. I mean, I like two different girls, but… I feel bad about it. Like… I’m cheating.”
“How is it cheating if you’re not dating them?”
“It’s not, but… I fear if I ask one of them out, and they say yes, what if I still have a crush on the other? And… And how am I supposed to date them if they don’t know the other half of me?”
“Wait, Batgirl doesn’t know your secret identity?”
“No. And I don’t know hers.”
“Well, if you ask her out, then I’m sure you’re both bound to figure out who the other is.”
Robin nods and asks, “Do… This might be weird, but have you ever had this feeling? Having a crush on two different people?”
“Kitten, I don’t have much of a love life. My career wouldn’t allow for one.”
“But that’s not my question. My question is have you ever had a crush on two different people?”
Catwoman thinks about this.
“I know you have a crush on Batman.”
This comment shocks Selina and makes her extremely uncomfortable. “I do not!”
“Uh-huh. Why else would you follow him around?”
“I’m a cat, and cats like to play with toys. And I’m not with him now, am I?”
“No, but… You usually are.”
“Has he not made it clearly obvious that he doesn’t like me?”
“Maybe. But it doesn’t seem like it’s stopped you.”
“Hold on, how did this conversation turn out to be about me? You were the one that was distracted. Not me.”
Robin grins, “What about Bruce Wayne?”
“Jesus Christ. What about him?”
“You always seem to dance with him at the galas.”
“How do you know about those?”
“Batman forces me to watch. It’s rather boring, but… All of Gotham’s elite and money in one building at a time? Perfect location to set off a bomb. So what about him? Why not ask him out?”
“First of all, I never said I had a crush on him. Two, Bruce Wayne is a playboy, which is basically a nicer way of calling him a rich male slut. Third, Bruce Wayne asks me to dance, not the other way around.”
“Oh, so he likes you? Y’know, for someone who is so addicted to stealing from the rich, hooking up with the richest man on the planet seems like a no-brainer.”
“And asking out Batgirl seems like a no-brainer too, but have you?”
“No. And it’s not a no-brainer. We work together. And if she says no, our chemistry will be worse, which will in turn put others in more danger.”
Catwoman rolls her eyes and states, “Look, you asked for my help, and I’m trying to provide it to you. I haven’t failed or disappointed you before, and I don’t plan on doing that. In my opinion, asking out Batgirl, a girl you seem to have affection for, is not a bad idea.”
“It’s risky.”
“Says the boy who jumps from building to building and fights crime all night.”
Robin has nothing. Catwoman has him there.
“How 'bout this, I’ll ask out Batgirl if you promise to ask out Bruce Wayne at the next gala. Please. If you date Bruce Wayne, Batman will be very happy.”
Catwoman chuckles, “You’re serious?”
“Yeah. Let’s both be risky. Together.”
Catwoman shakes her head and says, “You are something else, Kitten.”
“Stop calling me that!”
Catwoman eyes Robin. “I’ll think about it.”
The duo exchange grins before hearing a truck from below. A truck pulls into the alleyway and parks. A few men exit the building. Robin takes out his grappling hook and shoots it to the other building. He swings to the alleyway and begins to beat up the four thugs using his acrobatic fighting style. A proud Catwoman watches with a grin from the rooftop.
Robin defeats all four thugs and searches the truck for the serum. He finds it and shoots the grappling hook back to the rooftop where Catwoman is no longer there. He looks around and softly grins with the serum in his hands.
Catwoman jumps from rooftop to rooftop with a smirk. She lands and takes off her mask, revealing an earpiece and her short black hair. She touches the earpiece with a smirk.
“You catch all that, Dark Knight?”
Batman sits in the Batmobile with his laptop many blocks away. He sees everything from Catwoman’s eyes thanks to the contacts he gave her. He speaks into his microphone, “Yes.”
Catwoman crawls down the fire escape acrobatically as she continues to communicate to Batman, “A thank you would be nice.”
“Hm.”
“I suppose that’s the best I can get, huh?”
“Return to the Batmobile.”
Catwoman snickers at the name, but obeys.