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When he saw the caller ID showing Seungmin's number, Chan felt his heart drop to his stomach, and he started gathering his things and adjourned the meeting before anyone could get a word out quickly, stating there was a family emergency. Deal be damned, he would always put his family first. Seungmin never called him with his personal phone if he was with any of his staff or Felix because he knew that Chan would drop everything for him and his brother.
He answered the call immediately, preparing for the worst, and he heard a shaky hello from Seungmin on the other end of the line. He seemed to be frazzled; he could hear Jeongin crying in the background but was unable to understand what his youngest was saying.
"Seungmin? Seungmin, honey, what's wrong? Where's Felix?" Chan asked as he got his coat and ordered his driver to get the car ready. The kids had a performance at school today, but since he had an important business deal today, he couldn't attend. Felix, his babysitter, had offered to go in his stead so the boys would still have support and could get them home afterwards. He knew the younger male's schedule was tight, as he was graduating soon, but he took up the offer, placing his trust in the other.
So it broke his heart to hear Seungmin tell him that Felix didn't come and that they didn't know how to get home, disappointment and fear lacing his voice. Jeongin was still crying in the background, calling for both him and Felix, and he wondered if anything else happened during the performances. "Is Jeongin okay? I can hear him crying."
"He's just upset that neither of you turned up and that he made a mistake during his performance." Seungmin tried to explain, and he couldn't be prouder of his son for trying to be calm about the situation. Any other day he wouldn't mind if the boys were made to wait in school for a ride home, but with strangers invited within the campus for the school festivities, he wasn't as confident of the kids left without any supervision. It would've been easier to just hire bodyguards, sure, but he wanted his kids to live as much of a normal life as they could - a carefree life he also had once before amassing the fortunes he had now.
"Just hang tight, I'll get there soon. Stay with your teachers, I'll call you when I'm at the gate." He reassured his son, and he could imagine his eldest nodding as he ended the call. He was brisk walking towards the parking, this time trying to get in touch with Felix but to no avail, his calls never connecting to the other's phone. His concern over his babysitter was overshadowed by his anxiety for his boys and he could only hope his driver could get to the school faster.
It was raining hard when he arrived at the school gate.
Chan was already throwing the door open even before the car was parked - rushing towards his kids, who were being talked to by someone in a hoodie. He could feel his heart thudding in his chest as he grabbed the arm of the guy, failing to see the falling smiles from his children's lips and surprised gaps, too focused on making sure threats were kept away.
He came face to face with Felix, his hood falling to his neck, and they stood there for a bit - the rain quickly drenched their clothes, a cold chill settling in their skin. Felix looked surprised, his eyes wide and face ashen - normally his freckles would stand out, but this time, they looked just as muted as the rest of the other's face. Chan let go of the other's arm and had his driver usher the kids into the car.
"Hyung, I'm-" Felix started, Chan was sure he was about to apologize, but he was having none of it. He expected Felix to uphold his promise, especially knowing how important this would be for the kids.
"Look, Felix, save it. I know you're just as busy, but how can you be so irresponsible not to even let me know?!" He accused, his voice rising just a bit from its normal tone due to frustration. "You know you can't just leave them alone like that! I should've known this would happen. You're just a kid yourself!"
At that, Felix visibly flinched, and he clutched at the hem of his hoodie as he turned his eyes away from Chan and to the wet ground under his trainers. "Sorry..."
"Just go home, Felix. We'll talk in the morning." Chan dismissed, still fuming from the stress and the disappointment. He didn't bother looking back, just walking straight into the car and ordering his driver to take them home. The kids were plastered to the window as they drove away, calling out to Felix, who seemed rooted to where he stood.
"Daddy, why isn't Felix-hyung coming?" Jeongin cried, clinging to Chan's wet sleeve. "He said he'd take us home!"
Seungmin tried to comfort his brother, gently trying to pry him off of Chanm, who was also mindful of getting the kids wet. He could already feel the chill seeping into his skin from being drenched, and he could only give a frustrated huff and ruffle Jeongin's hair. "We'll talk with Felix in the morning, okay? Daddy will take you guys home, and we'll spend time playing, hmm?"
Jeongin continued to cry, and the way Seungmin was looking at him had Chan's stomach in knots. It wasn't necessarily accusatory, but he could see the distress and disappointment in them. Jeongin might be too young to understand the confrontation, but Seungmin had always been a more insightful kid.
Chan had a nagging feeling at the pit of his stomach that he had gone too far - too harsh for an incident that no one was hurt, at least physically. The kids were safe, disappointed, but otherwise unharmed. And Felix did try to at least... take them home? He never really got to ask the other what happened and didn't even bother to let the other explain himself.
He felt his cheeks redden slightly as shame finally settled in, and he realised how immature and unprofessional he reacted. He'd have to talk to Felix soon, apologise at least, and try to make amends. For now, they just had to get home.
A tug on his pants and Jeongin's soft, “Daddy, isn’t Felix-hyung coming today?” Pulled on Chan’s heartstrings.
Chan looked down from where he was making them dinner and crouched to speak with his youngest. “Hey, buddy. I don’t think Felix will be coming by today. He seemed busy yesterday, right? I’m sure he’d visit some other time to play with you.”
He tried to give a comforting smile, but Jeongin started pouting and stomping before ultimately giving Chan's shin a few kicks. “It’s because Daddy got mad at him yesterday! You were being a bully, I'm sure he didn't mean it!”
At that moment, Chan felt a bit of shame crawl up his nape, his chest tightening a bit, at the possibility that he did overreact when he told the other off for failing to attend his kids’ event and picking them up late when he promised to do so. He reached out to ruffle Jeongin’s hair and gave him a sorry sigh. “Yeah, it's my fault, I’m sorry, Jeongin-ah. Daddy will fix it, okay?”
“You better!” His youngest says with a huge pout before running off to find his brother.
The same issue was brought up over dinner, this time, it was Seungmin who was asking. “Isn’t Felix-hyung coming today?”
“No, honey, he wasn’t supposed to come in today, remember?” Chan answers as he dabbed a tissue on the side of Jeongin’s mouth where ketchup has spread, but Jeongin pushes his hand away and starts running towards his brother across the table, “It’s cause daddy was mean to Felix yesterday!”
Seungmin gave Chan a pointed look, which only made him feel like the villain, “You said you’d talk to him after we got home.”
The tone was again not accusatory, but he couldn't help but feel guilty whenever he remembered what happened outside the school yesterday. “I did, but he wasn't answering my calls. I thought he was still upset and sometimes talking immediately after such things could lead to more problems.” Chan tries to defend himself, explaining as much as he can that things weren't as easy between adults as it was with kids who could make up after a childish fight.
His sons merely looked at each other, having that telepathic conversation between them and proceeded to cross their arms simultaneously, heads held high. He wanted to stand his ground, but the moment Jeongin started doing puppy dog eyes and Seungmin’s lower lip jutted out, he knew he was a goner. “I’ll see what I can do.”
His children high-fiving after only cemented that he had little devils as sons.
After tucking the kids in bed and giving them goodnight kisses, Chan returned to his office to reflect on whether or not he had overreacted to Felix's failure to attend his children's performance yesterday.
The kids seemed upset at first about Felix failing to keep his promise, but based on the number of times they asked him where the younger male was since yesterday night, they were over it already. He did his best not to think about it last night, preferring to listen to his sons' stories instead - he asked them about what happened during the event and how their performances went. There was a lot of crying on Jeongin's part, he was disappointed that no one aside from Seungmin was able to see him perform, but after bribing him to go to the aquarium to make up for it, he seemed to be in higher spirits. Before he put the kids to bed last night, Seungmin told him that Felix came a little after he called, apologised profusely, and was about to bring them home when he arrived.
He believes Felix has legitimate reasons for what happened yesterday, and he feels guilty for telling him off instead of speaking to him about it.
Based on the past few months that he has been working with the younger male, he's sure that Felix wouldn't just leave his kids alone - knew that Felix had a great sense of responsibility and was particularly fond of his boys. The college student had started working for him a few months after Jisung, his usual babysitter, needed some time off and had introduced Felix instead because he needed an extra source of income for his project. It was a bit awkward at first; Felix was a shy young man, but he proved himself flexible, and the kids loved him.
Chan might not want to say it out loud, but deep down, he knew feelings were steadily growing in his heart towards the art major. They had gone out on friendly dates in the past few months (alone and with the kids), but that doesn’t guarantee that Felix sees him in any kind of romantic light.
There was also the issue of their age gap, which caused him to step back a lot of time. He was nearing his late thirties, divorced, and a single dad of two beautiful children. It is one thing to date a younger man, Felix was mature, but committing to Chan means committing to raising his kids with him - Felix still has his whole life ahead of him. He still has time to come to terms with who he will be and meet people his age he could fall in love with.
He also felt it was inappropriate of him to try and approach the other in any kind of romantic light, as he was still an employer and could accidentally pressure the other into following his whims. However, Felix has been consistently dropping hints - ones he hopes he wasn't misreading.
He paced around his office, contemplating whether or not to call Felix now, especially since the other looked particularly remorseful yesterday. He did try calling Felix last night to try and get his side of the story but had failed to reach him. He thought maybe Felix was so upset and didn't want to speak to him for a while - he had been wronged and needed a bit of time away to cool down should be good. But, Chan also wanted to apologise for reacting overtly, and an apology via text seemed inappropriate.
He continued to pace a bit more before dialling Felix's number - It rang a few times before it was picked up. Chan could feel a smile spreading on his lips, at least it seemed Felix was willing to speak with him. "Felix, I--"
"Hello?"
Chan stopped mid-sentence and looked at his phone, wondering if he dialled the wrong number because that was not Felix . He hesitantly placed the phone back to his ear just as the person at the other end of the line greeted him again.
"You're not Felix."
"Oh, Felix is unavailable right now."
Chan could feel a tightening in his stomach, an uneasy feeling that he only ever felt when the people he cared about were in trouble. He also didn't like that someone else was answering Felix's phone and that he couldn't speak to the man himself. "What do you mean? Is something wrong?"
There was silence on the other end of the line, and the coiling in his stomach only grew tighter. He could feel the person on the other side of the call moving about before speaking again.
"Who are you?"
"Who are you?"
"You're the one who called."
"Felix babysits my kids." The anxiety in his chest continued to coil tighter and tighter. He wonders if Felix got himself in trouble, shouldn't his number be saved on the other's phone? Who is this person?
There was a longer pause before the other spoke again, "Oh."
Another pause. "The baby daddy."
Chan could feel his cheeks colour at the comment, Felix tends to joke about it with him, calling him a baby daddy if he wants to tease him about his age and how young he looked despite nearing his 40s. He clears his throat and stands a little straighter - his heart beating wildly in his chest as he thinks of the worst. “Who are you? Where’s Felix?"
"Sorry, Chan-ssi, was it? I'm Hyunjin, Felix's roommate. Felix is currently sick, so you just have to look for another babysitter in the meantime."
"Sick? What do you mean sick?”
"Uhm, like, rushed to the emergency room sick.” Hyunjin deadpanned, and Chan thought he’d have a heart attack, cold sweat pooling at the base of his neck and back. But before he could ask for more information, the other started talking again, “He's okay now though, but the doctors are keeping him here overnight just to be sure. It's overfatigue."
Chan could feel the shock and panic wash over him, and it felt like he couldn’t breathe. His muscles tensed at the thought of Felix collapsing in his dorm all alone and Hyunjin just finding him hours later to bring him to the hospital in a panic.
"Where are you? I'll visit." He was already grabbing his keys and coat while waiting for Hyunjin to answer. He had the phone on speaker and was already messaging Changbin if he could keep an eye on the kids for an hour or so, that there was an emergency he had to attend to, and that he’d be right back, but before he could press the send button, Hyunjin was speaking on the other line again. "Oh, you don't have to. He’s already sleeping, and visiting hours are over. I'm just here to drop off some of his stuff."
Chan stopped in his steps in the middle of the living room, and all he could do was give a heavy sigh. His shoulders stooped, and somehow, he felt defeated as he kept the call going. There was guilt pooling in his stomach at the thought that Felix might have pushed himself to still get to his kids yesterday despite not feeling his best, it didn’t help that it was raining hard yesterday too, and he left the younger male high and dry after confronting him in the rain. With a heavy sigh, he murmured, “Please send me the address via text, I’ll visit first thing tomorrow.
When Chan opened the door, he immediately felt two sets of eyes on him, and he stood there frozen momentarily. His eyes landed on the hospital bed situated near a window and found the familiar brown eyes of Felix, wide with surprise, which eased the tension out of him, and a smile graced his lips, dimples showing up.
"Hi," He greets sheepishly, bringing up the bouquet and basket of fruits. “I brought gifts.”
"Hyung? What are you doing here?" Felix seemed caught off guard, but the sides of his lips pulled into a small smile. Chan didn’t feel any hostile energy coming from the other, and relief started spreading through him - Felix didn't seem upset anymore, they could have a proper conversation about what happened. He turned to the other person in the room, whom he assumed to be Hyunjin, and greeted him with a smile and was given a coy one in return, along with a shoulder shrug.
"Don't look at me, he was the one who asked." Hyunjin suddenly defends himself, and Chan realises Felix is glaring at the other male. Felix groaned, and Chan stood by the door feeling a bit awkward. Maybe he shouldn't have come, Hyunjin did say Felix will get discharged this afternoon.
"Uhm, well, I brought these." He says as he places the fruit basket on the side table and gives the small bouquet of sunflowers and roses to Felix. "I hope you are feeling better?"
Felix took the bouquet with a shy smile, running his fingers through some of the petals. "I'm doing better, thank you."
He looks up at Chan with a bigger smile, awe in his eyes, red dusting his cheeks and bringing his freckles out to full view. The smile reassured him more than he thought it would. Nevertheless, he still felt awkward and shifted from one foot to another as he looked for words to say. Felix seemed to be in the same situation, and he kept his eye down, running his fingers through the petals again. Chan thought it was better to say what he had to instead of trying to delay it again.
"Felix-"
"Hyung-"
They spoke at the same time, and both shut their mouths. Urging the other to continue what they were saying in the silence. No one spoke again, and the air was getting thicker, almost enough to have sliced through it as Chan lost his confidence again, and Felix remained looking uncertain.
Hyunjin broke the tense atmosphere as he cleared his throat, pulling their attention to him. "I'll go get coffee, go for a smooch or something." He announces and takes his leave.
Both Felix and Chan's cheeks coloured, and they looked at each other with wide eyes before they burst into laughter. Chan takes a seat in a plastic chair beside Felix's bed and leans on his knees. "Seriously though, how are you?”
"I'm fine , hyung. Hyunjin just panicked, it was just a fever." Chan wasn't buying it, and he was sure Felix knew as well. He wanted to talk about it to know what happened, but wouldn't that be trying to intertwine himself more with Felix's life? He steeled himself and sat a bit straighter. He came here for one thing, and that was to apologise.
"I'm sorry," he starts, and he could feel his throat tightening and his hands growing sweaty. "About the other day. I overreacted, and it was inexcusable to take my frustrations out on you, especially since the kids were safe."
Felix gave a surprised gasp at the apology before his face crumpled, and he looked down at his hands that bunched up the blanket over his lap, "No, I should be the one to apologise since I broke my promise with the kids. I just... I should've messaged you, but I thought I could make it. It just got hectic that day."
Chan almost didn't want to accept the apology, but it felt like his hands were tied; Felix would keep insisting it was his fault, and he'd do the same. With a sigh, he nodded and gave Felix a small smile as reassurance. The blond returned it, but they fell into this tense silence, both unable to look at each other's eyes again - unsaid words still hanging in the air.
The whole situation still didn't feel right to him, and he wondered if Felix was truly struggling without telling him anything. He reached out for Felix’s hand on the bed, asking for his attention, and when brown eyes turned to their hands, and then up to his eyes, he knew he had to say something. "Felix, I'm worried. If you need help, in any way, you know you can count on me, right? I can always arrange something else with the kids and for you too. If it’s about money, I can always lend you some, you don’t have to pay it back."
Felix's eyes widened a fraction before he snatched his hand away, and his eyebrows furrowed, speechless. Chan wondered if he fucked up again, and a cold chill started to cover his body. He had hoped the other wouldn’t take it the wrong way and that Felix would understand that he just wanted to help him out, that he was genuine with how he cared for the other.
"I'm not a charity case."
Chan felt as if he was doused in cold water, and he felt his heart break at the thought of Felix misunderstanding his concerns. His mouth felt dry, maybe his previous criticism did hit deeper than he meant it to be. "That's... Felix, no. That's not what I meant."
He felt like he was stumbling over his words, his mind racing a mile a minute to try and find the words to explain himself. "You know I care for you, right? If I'm able to help you in any way, of course, I'll do what I can to do so."
Felix looked wary at first, as if he couldn't understand or accept what Chan was saying, but eventually caved, and the tension in his body was released, and his shoulders slumped. The younger male nodded, as if confirming something to himself, and leaned back in his bed with a heavy sigh. “It’s not just about the kids and the money anymore with me."
Chan was surprised, and he felt the palms of his hands sweat. It feels inappropriate and too straightforward, and maybe he's jumping the gun and misreading things, but he couldn't think of any other time that he'd get the courage to do it. It felt as if Felix gave him a line, and it was the only time he’d be able to take it.
“Tell me if I'm in over my head, but...” He reached out and squeezed Felix's hand, running his thumb over the back of his hand. He kept his eyes trained on Felix’s hazel ones, which felt like they held the universe in them. It was now or never. "What if you date me?"
Felix's eyes widened, and his fingers tightened a fraction around Chan's fingers, prompting the older male to continue. "I mean the kids like you, and I like you already so... We can just take it slow, just go on dates and see how it goes, it's all up to you. I’m sorry if I’m reading things wrong I just—“
“No,” Felix was quick to move his hands to Chan’s face, cupping his cheeks and running his thumbs over his cheekbones, a huge smile on his face. “I mean, no you’re not reading things wrong. And, yes, I would like to go out with you.”
The smile that grew on Chan’s face was big enough for his cheeks to hurt, his dimples to show up, and his eyes crinkling. He placed both of his hands on the bed to brace himself, caging Felix in, and pressing his forehead to the others. They giggle as Felix rests his arms over Chan's shoulders, and the older male presses kisses on Felix's eyelids, his heart beating wildly in his chest. Chan murmured, "You don't know how happy you make me."
Felix tightened his hold and pulled him close, pressing his face on the other's neck. "If only you knew how much I wanted to kiss you the first time we met."
Chan can feel his ears burn, and he finally places his hand on Felix's waist, his other hand still supporting most of his weight. "Yeah? Well, the same goes for me. Every time you sleep over, I always think about how nice it would be to wake up next to you and the kids. I'm so incredibly fond of you. I--"
“Okay, I got— Oh my god! When I said to smooch, it was metaphorical! What the hell!”
Chan and Felix turned towards the door just in time to see Hyunjin gawking at them as he stood with a to-go carrier and two coffee cups. "Get off of each other! Oh my god! Get a room!" Hyunjin continued his free hand waving at them as if the action would get them apart.
They laugh at the other’s antics before Chan leans to kiss Felix on the forehead, “I’ll be back, darling. I'll get your discharge papers sorted out."
Felix blushes at the nickname and gives Chan’s hand a final squeeze before letting go. The older male gave him one final smile, giving Hyunjin a pat on the shoulder as he made his way out of the hospital bedroom.
If Chan felt like the happiest man on earth, that’s between him and the universe.