Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The sun had long since set, yet here he stood in front of the charred remains of the car, mesmerized by the flames. The explosion felt like it was forever ago, when in reality it had only been maybe two hours.

“What are you waiting for? We need to move.”

It’d been a long day. Or days. Weeks, even. He wasn’t sure how many times the cycle had repeated itself before the explosion broke them both out of it and threw him into control.

“Look, I know you might not care about getting dragged back, but I do. We need to get out of here.”

His head hurt and his eyes burned. Such a strange feeling. This body wasn’t his, he didn’t have one. Not a corporeal one, anyways.

“The longer you stand here, the more danger you put me in…Are you even listening to me?”

The warmth of the fire was comforting, a stark contrast to the freezing night that surrounded him. Looking back at it, he isn’t sure what compelled him to move his hand towards the flames. Curiosity, maybe. Regardless, he watched in fascination as the fire warped around the silhouette of his hand.

“Blurry! Have you lost your mind?! What are you doing?!”

The harsh voice immediately snapped him out of his trance, making him freeze up as the pain in his forehead worsened.

“I’m not even going to try to ask why you did what you just did. Are you listening to me now?”

It took him a moment to respond.

“Yes.”

The silence that followed felt like an eternity before Tyler spoke again, “Okay. First, can we move away from the actively burning car?”

Blurry stepped back from the vehicle, annoyed at being dragged from the enveloping warmth. “Now what.”

“Now we figure out what to do. I say we follow the road.”

“Where would we even follow it to? It probably just leads back to Dema.”

“…Then we go the other way.” Tyler replied.

“Do you even know what direction is the ‘opposite way’? Last time I checked, we’re both bad at directions. I mean, you put it in a song.”

“We’ll just go east.”

Blurry knew exactly where Tyler wanted to go. It’s the same place he always wanted to go to. Trench. Blurry hated Trench. He can appreciate the isolation and quietness of the flowing streams and vast canyons, but it’s always too bright and open out there.

As Tyler continued to go into excruciating detail about his plan, Blurry began to look around, his eyes eventually landing on the treeline beyond the edge of the road.

The forest is a much more appealing location to Blurry. The trees are closer together, the canopy providing both shade and a sense of shelter, and not to mention the countless hiding places throughout the area.

“…and then we’ll continue down the stream until hopefully we find the main camp...”

The forest was far safer than Trench, and a place the Bishops seldom journeyed into. A much better place to hide in, Blurry thought. Tyler valued his safety, right? He did mention wanting to go somewhere the Bishops wouldn’t find him, and every time he had ventured into Trench it ended up with him getting caught by Nico. It makes sense, then, to not go into Trench.

Tyler knew what Blurry was doing the instant the entity took the first step towards the treeline. He tried calling out to him, but to no avail. With no control over his own vessel, he was powerless to stop Blurry from walking further away from the road.

The entity continued to venture deeper, staring up at the canopy. It was so peaceful, well, that was until his foot caught on a raised tree root and he fell.

One moment he was gazing up at the stars, and the next his face was covered in blood and dirt, his nose throbbing in pain so bad that all Blurry could do was sit and hold their shared vessel’s face, breathing heavily. He could hear Tyler’s voice, but he was in far too much pain to care to listen.

The next moment, the pain had vanished, and Blurry found himself standing in that familiar red-lit hallway.

Tyler could tell the moment he got control again that his nose was definitely broken. His legs felt numb from the initial shock of the injury, but his body was beginning to calm down, leaving him with just a dirty face and a lot of pain.

He took a second to wipe the blood and dirt from his face before shakily standing back up, noting the pain in his foot and knees. He’d survive, but the next week or so wouldn’t be enjoyable.

Looking around, Tyler realized that he had no idea where Blurry had taken them. He was completely lost.

Great.

Figuring there was no point in trying to discern where he was if he couldn’t even see beyond his nose, Tyler wandered for a little while before finding a place to sleep for the remainder of the night.

When Tyler woke up, he was immediately bombarded by the sun’s rays shining through the canopy and directly into his eyes. He stood up and, realizing just how thirsty he was, took off in search of a stream.

The next couple of weeks were mostly uneventful, days repeating and a pattern emerging between waking up, looking for food and water, trying to find a way out, and sleeping again. Luckily for Tyler, his previous escape attempts had given him decent enough knowledge of how to survive in the wilderness.

Blurry had been mostly silent since he accidentally broke Tyler’s nose, which was healing up nicely, just leaving a somewhat large scab across the bridge of his nose. While Tyler found it a bit strange and out of character for the entity to be this quiet, he’d gladly take it over the constant berating and worry from Blurry he was subjected to in Dema.

There were a few exceptions, though. For example, the time Tyler caught a rabbit to eat, which Blurry had found quite interesting.

Or the times during the nights when Tyler was feeling especially hopeless that he’d make it out, and Blurry just had to chime in with his own opinions that maybe it wasn’t worth it to try surviving.

Tyler had to admit, the isolation was getting to him. Food was scarce, and he was nowhere near close to finding his way into Trench, back to the car, or even to Dema. He didn’t know which of those three was the best option. Should he have just stayed put, and not forced Blurry to move? Should he have just let himself be caught by his Bishop? The punishment from Nico would’ve been far less harsh than his current situation.

Best not to dwell on it though, he thought. No use in thinking about past mistakes.

His goal right now was just surviving, getting out of this mess, and then he could think all he wanted about what could’ve been in whatever place he ends up in after everything is said and done.

Chapter Text

Keeping track of how many days had passed had become difficult, Tyler losing track within a few weeks, and Blurry not being able to see the outside world made it an impossible task for him.

After spending weeks recuperating from the first night in the forest in the maze of red-lit rooms that made up Tyler’s mind, Blurry was frankly shocked when he woke up to the sound of birds chirping. Tyler must really not be handling the situation well, he thought.

Meanwhile, when Tyler awoke in that same maze of rooms, all he felt was annoyance. Annoyed at not being in control of his own body, at his own inability to keep himself together that even allowed the other entity to take control in the first place, but most of all annoyed over the situation he was still stuck in.

It had been nearly a month since the car had been set ablaze by the explosion, a month since he’d seen any signs of civilization, a month since he’d seen Josh. He missed Josh. He missed being around other people, Bandito or citizen. At this point, he even started missing the familiarity of the cycle.

This had been the longest he’d ever been out in Trench.

Was this forest even part of Trench?

At least when he had control, he knew how to survive, even if just barely. Blurry had none of that. He had no experience out here.

Blurry was going to get both of them killed, wasn’t he? A single misstep would take out weeks worth of progress, and once again Tyler was powerless to stop it. At least he could see what was happening, but he was conflicted over whether that was even a good thing.

He decided to look for a little bit, just to see what Blurry was doing. The entity had gotten up and was walking around the area nearby the makeshift campsite Tyler had set up the night prior.

At least this time he was looking at the ground.

Blurry started walking further away from the site, kicking twigs, leaves, and rocks out of his path until he came across a sizable log. He stopped and stared at the log for a moment, seemingly contemplating what he should do next. He made up his mind rather quickly, though, kicking the log to the side and revealing a group of small pillbugs.

A normal person would see this and do one of two things: either look at the small ecosystem they’ve just uncovered, or walk away.

Blurryface was not a normal person, though. Far from it.

He kneeled down, looking at the small crustaceans for a minute, before quickly grabbing one with his thumb and index finger. He watched it squirm in his hold before putting it directly into his mouth.

All the while, Tyler was watching from inside his own mind in a mix of horror and disgust.

He watched Blurry pick up another bug, and a wave of dread ran through his consciousness.

“Blurry. Put that down. Now.”

Hearing the voice made him pause.

“Blurryface. Put the bug down now.” Tyler reiterated, “We can find something better if you just put the bug down, I promise.”

“You need the food.” Blurry retorted.

“I know that, but there are better things to eat than bugs, believe me.”

“Like what?”

Shocked, Tyler replied, “Fish, berries, rabbits, deer, so many things. But not bugs, man. C’mon.”

“Fine.” Blurry grumbled, putting the bug into his mouth before standing back up.

“Hey, what did I literally just say?!”

“I’m sure two whatever-these-are won’t destroy your body. Calm down.”

“You don’t know that!”

“Neither do you.”

Tyler was at a complete loss for words.

Blurry began walking again, the two remaining quiet for a bit before Tyler broke the silence once more.

“You’ve been acting weird lately. What’s up with that?”

“What do you mean?” Blurry questioned.

“Well, you just seem like, out of it, I guess? And you’re a lot…quieter than usual. I don’t know, I normally wouldn’t complain about that, but it’s just not like you.”

“Well I don’t know.” Blurry answered, his tone suggesting defensiveness.

Tyler sighed. “I know this isn’t an ideal situation, and we’re both stressed out about it all, but we should at least talk to each other. Not like there’s much else to do.”

Once again, more silence.

This time, Tyler decided it was probably in his best interest to not provoke Blurry any further. It was clear he didn’t want to talk, and Tyler wasn’t going to push his luck if he wanted to keep his body in good condition. Blurry had a tendency to hurt himself, or Tyler, when he was upset. Not on purpose, most of the time. He’d just never been the most stable entity, really.

The two walked in silence for the remainder of the day, only stopping to take breaks and to find food. As the sun went down, Blurry found a spot to settle down for the night. Tyler helped him make a fire, ensuring the other wouldn’t repeat the almost-incident with the car a month prior.

Blurry had to admit, he was entirely unused to the exhaustion he found himself dealing with. He’d been feeling weak for a couple months at this point for unrelated reasons, but the added physical fatigue definitely wasn’t doing him any favors.

He sat near the small campfire he had made with Tyler’s help for a few hours, contemplating the events of the past month or so. Eventually he decided it wasn’t worth it, thinking about what could’ve been, instead resting against the trunk of a nearby tree and falling asleep.

Chapter Text

Blurry woke up, confronted by a light blue door with a clear, almost crystalline handle. He hesitated for a moment before his curiosity got the best of him as he cautiously twisted the handle and opened the door.

Waiting for him on the other side was, Dema? Well Tyler’s room in Nico’s district. As he opened the door, standing in the doorway now, he saw a figure sitting on the opposite end of the space, staring into the night beyond the walls.

The moment Blurry took a step into the room the figure was alerted to his presence, revealing it to be none other than Tyler, who turned to face Blurry.

“Are you trying to get me killed?” He began, clearly upset.

Blurry kept silent, standing in a way that could only be read as defensive.

“I mean, first you drag us out here for no reason, which I guess I can excuse. I don’t understand it, but it’s whatever. But the other stuff I can’t just move on from. You broke my nose because you weren’t paying attention to where you were going. You were eating actual bugs for goodness’ sake! What is with you?!”

Again, silence.

“Do you have anything to say for yourself?”

The only sound permeating the air was the hum of the neon sitting in the center of the room.

“Blurryface.” Tyler spoke, slightly calmer but still stern.

“What do you even want me to say?” Blurry questioned, raising his hands. “I get it, I’m bad and I ruin everything. I make everything worse just by existing. Is that what you want?”

The neon shifted from a cool blue to a bright red, bathing the room in an unnatural glow, matching Blurry’s eyes. The darkness on his hands began to spread upwards to his forearms.

“I don’t know what you want from me!” Blurry yelled.

“Blurry…”

“I am tired of trying to validate my own existence to you when you clearly don’t care!”

“That’s not what I mean and you know it, Blurryface.” He sighed. “Let’s start over. We’re both frustrated about this, let’s just calm down. Okay?”

“Fine.”

“Alright. First question, why did you take me out here? Into the forest, I mean.”

It took Blurry a moment to think of a response. “I thought it was safer.” His arms were still dark.

“Safer than Trench?” Tyler asked.

“Will you let me explain?” Blurry replied, deadpan with a hint of annoyance.

With no response from Tyler, he began, “Every time you go out there, you get caught. Yet you keep wanting to go back each and every time you escape. Why? You know how it will end.”

The light in the room slowly began to shift back to blue, landing on a cool indigo.

“The forest isn’t like that. Nobody goes there.”

“Okay.”

“Trench is too open. There’s nowhere to hide if someone comes looking for you.”

“I know where to hide. There are caves, rocks, plenty of places.” Tyler argued. “Plus, the Banditos are out there. They’ll help me.”

“How do you know that?”

“They have before.”

“And you’re just going to rely on them to save you?” The light shifted to pink. “You can’t trust them to always be there for you.”

“Maybe not, but I know Trench far better than I know here, wherever we are. And I know that we can’t survive out here forever.”

“So?” Blurry replied shortly.

After a moment of silence, “Blurry, if I die, you die too.”

It then clicked for the entity. As much as Blurryface was a being formed from Tyler’s fears, insecurities, and other struggles, a creature of negativity and doubt, he was still a part of Tyler. He had an innate desire to keep them both safe, even if his methods to reach that usually backfired horrendously and left them in more danger than they started with.

He didn’t want to die.

Walking over to the bed in the corner of the room and sitting down, Blurry thought over the current situation.

The two had been out here for maybe a month, give or take a week or two. When he had control the previous day, every step felt exhausting. Tyler’s body was not in good shape, and it would only get worse from here if they didn’t get out fast. They needed a plan.

“So…what now?” Blurry began.

“We need a plan.” Tyler stated.

“I’m assuming you have something in mind, then?”

“Eh, sort of. It isn’t perfect, but it’s a start.” He sounded unsure.

“Go ahead.”

“Well, I’d say our best bet is to try retracing our steps. Maybe look for old campfires, or the logs you kicked.”

“And what happens when you don’t remember where it was?”

“We fill in the gaps with what you remember.”

“How would that even work when I can’t see the outside world from in here?” Blurry argued.

“No, no I mean from the times you were in control.”

“Oh.”

“You sound like you have a problem with my plan.”

“No, it’s not that, it’s just…” He took a moment, trying to find the right words. “It feels shaky, I don’t know.”

“I get that, and yeah, I agree it isn’t the most solid plan, but it’s all we’ve got right now, alright?” Tyler admitted.

By now the neon had returned to its usual light blue, and Blurry’s markings had receded back to his hands.

“Well, it’s already late. We should try to rest before tomorrow. We’re gonna need it.”

Blurry nodded a silent acknowledgement before getting up and leaving the room, feeling anxious and uneasy but trying as best he could to have some hope.

Chapter Text

Tyler woke up like usual, falling into the simple routine he had found himself in for the past two months. It had been a week since his last conversation with Blurry, and a week since he set his plan into motion.

It was going well, or as well as it could be, to be completely honest.

His memory could only take him so far, and this forest was much more repetitive than Trench ever was. At least out there the canyon walls gave him fewer places to take a wrong turn. Out here, there were nearly infinite paths to follow and get lost down.

Blurry’s memory was even worse, the entity having never been paying much attention to his surroundings during his time in control of the vessel.

It didn’t help that Tyler was starting to see lights off in the distance each night, bright, pulsating yellow lights. Like torches, almost. The first time Tyler saw them, he mostly ignored it, but they were getting more frequent now. Great, so he’s hallucinating now. Just what he needed.

The first few times he saw them he just ignored them, keeping to his plan. But for some reason he felt drawn to the lights, almost like they were trying to guide him somewhere.

Worst case scenario, it’s a Bishop, he figures. He’ll get caught, recover in Dema, and escape again. This time, into Trench.

And if it isn’t a Bishop, and if he isn’t hallucinating them, then maybe it’s a Bandito. Maybe it’s Josh. He can’t even begin to imagine how Josh would’ve found him all the way out here, but stranger things have happened before.

It’s been nearly two months now since the explosion and the car.

Two months lost in a seemingly endless tangle of trees and rocks.

Tyler was tired.

These last two months had felt like a year.

He had tried talking to Blurry in an attempt to maintain even a shred of his sanity, but either the entity was angry with him, or just straight up ignoring him, because he never responded back to Tyler. Normally this would be fine, good even, but Tyler just wanted someone to talk to right now.

More than that, he just wanted to go home, praying the lights might take him there, wherever home was right now.

He kept following the lights, and began to notice fewer and fewer of them would appear each night until eventually, only one remained. Still just as bright, though, leading him further into the night.

This night was different.

The lights had always stayed small on the horizon’s edge, but the singular illuminated dot Tyler saw tonight was getting larger as he walked. It kept getting brighter, too, almost as if it was encouraging Tyler to keep going.

He kept walking towards the growing flame until he felt the ground beneath his feet change. Looking down, he couldn’t immediately notice any changes, but when Tyler looked back up he realized the gap in the trees and the faint smell of burnt rubber.

He did take notice of the figure standing on the opposite side of the road, holding up a torch.

The sun had begun to rise in the distance, outlining the forest and the charred remains of the car, still sitting in the same place it had been two months ago. For the first time in what felt like an eternity, Tyler was glad to see the sun.

He looked back at the figure to thank them for helping Tyler find his way out, but when his gaze fell upon the spot where they had been standing, both them and their light were gone.

“We’re out.” Tyler almost whispers.

No response.

“Blurry?”

Silence.

“Blurryface?”

Again, nothing.

The exact same response he’d gotten from the entity for the past few weeks. Either he was so annoyed with Tyler, or Blurry had vanished entirely.

Tyler was starting to lean towards the latter.

He waits for a few seconds before walking over towards the car, running his hand across the blackened surface of the trunk.

Something in his mind tells him to look inside, not Blurry though, and when he does he discovers a dusty green jacket adorned with yellow tape on the shoulders, with an additional thin band on the arm.

He shook it out, closing the trunk with his other hand, and slid the jacket on, taking a moment to rest before heading off towards the rising sun and into Trench.