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Erik opened his eyes slowly and stretched out on the soft, comfortable bed he was lying on. He couldn’t remember being so comfortable when he had gone to sleep. In fact, he couldn’t really remember where he had fallen asleep but he was fairly certain it wasn’t here.
Looking around the room, he became more certain that this wasn’t where he had fallen asleep. The room was one he hadn’t been in in nearly a decade now. A large, four-poster bed in the middle of the room, the pillows all around them, the fact that there was a body next to Erik and he knew who it was without even looking. Not that it stopped him. His head rolled to the side on his pillow and took in the sleeping, relaxed face of Charles.
Only, he wasn’t Charles as Erik had last seen him, no. This was a version of Charles that Erik could remember but it had been from so long ago. The long hair that was in desperate need of a wash, ginger beard growing out surpassing the stubble phase and well on its way to a full beard.
Erik wondered what kind of dream he was having where he would wake up and yet still be asleep. Or maybe there was someone controlling him? A telepath somewhere making him think of Charles, perhaps? It wouldn’t be too hard, after all, Erik was almost always thinking about Charles to some extent.
Either way, no matter how he got here, he decided to enjoy it while he had the chance. He turned as gently as possible so as to not wake Charles and settled back in, just watching the other man. After so many years apart, he was more than happy to indulge himself a little in what was, at one time, one of his favorite activities.
From so close, Erik could see just how tired Charles looked, the dark marks under his eyes suggesting that he didn’t often sleep as well as he was with Erik next to him. The smell coming from him led Erik to believe that he had been drinking before falling asleep. It was little things like that which made Erik wonder if he was actually dreaming. Surely, in his subconscious, he and Charles would be together and happy, not one of them happy and the other in such a state of depression. And surely their ages would be in line as well, not a younger version of Charles with Erik a decade older.
He shook his head as he realized he was overanalyzing again. If this was the only way he was going to get to spend time with Charles he should just take it and quit looking a gift horse in the mouth, as they say.
With that in mind, he let out a breath and just found himself thinking about what could happen when Charles woke up, and how things could go. The man could be glad to see him or angry, maybe he would believe what Erik said about not knowing how he got here or maybe he wouldn’t. Normally Erik would decide to just let Charles read his mind but he remembered all too well Charles, around this time, saying he would never get in Erik’s head again. He also knew that, unless his memory was wrong, this was when Charles was using the damn serum that Hank had made and didn’t have his powers anyway so, perhaps, it didn’t matter.
There was a shifting next to him and Erik watched as blue eyes opened to look into his. He stayed still and silent, watching Charles. He didn’t know what to do or say, or if his presence would even be tolerated. They weren’t on the best of terms at this point in their lives, after all.
“Erik?” He heard Charles ask, his voice small and disbelieving. But it only lasted for a moment before a harder look replaced it. “What are you doing here?”
“I was rather hoping you could help me find out the answer to that. I fell asleep and woke up here,” He answered honestly. “I wasn’t going to question it though.” He was taking it as the gift it was but he wasn’t about to tell Charles that.
Charles shook his head, as though he didn’t believe him. But his eyes narrowed a little as he kept looking at him. “You’re Erik but you’re not,” He said, “What’s happening? Who are you really?”
“I’m Erik,” He replied, “But I’m an older version than what you know,” He said, “Or at least, I think. I still really don’t know what’s going on right now, but I know I’ve already seen you like this. Not taking care of yourself. My version of you is…well, different.” He wasn’t sure it was a good idea to talk about the future. Would it change things?
…Did he want to change things? There were a lot of things in his life that he wanted to change, take back, fix. But was this the way to do it? It could just make things worse instead of better. Besides, he and Charles were working on things in his own timeline. They might not have been back to where they once were, Erik wasn’t sure they’d ever be, but he had hope.
“So you’ve traveled through time?” Charles asked with a hollow laugh. “Yeah, right. There are other explanations that are much more likely.”
“I know there are,” Erik replied, “But none of them make as much sense as how I’m ten years older than I know you to be right now. No explanation as to how I’ve made it out of the Pentagon and have been living my life and find myself back here a decade later. I don’t know what the purpose of this is, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do, or how I got here, but I…” Erik shook his head. He didn’t know, there were too many unknowns.
“Prove it to me,” Charles stated after a moment’s silence passed between the two of them. There was a determination in him, like he was going to get to the bottom of this and was going to stop at nothing to do so. Erik wasn’t going to stop him, he could use some help to figure everything out.
“You’re using a serum Hank made now. It helps you to walk but you lose the use of your powers. The first time I heard I thought you were running from your mutation but you informed me it was to help you sleep,” Erik said softly, “I know you feel abandoned by me, I know I felt the same by you. You’re missing me, no matter how much you hate to admit it, and the same with Raven. You feel like I stole her from you when you told her to go with me because that’s what she wanted.”
“How do you know all of that?” Charles asked and Erik could see tears in those clear blue eyes. He slowly brought a hand up to his cheek, brushing over it gently. While the man didn’t lean into it the way he once would, he didn’t jerk away from the touch either so Erik would take that as a win.
“You told me, Schatz,” Erik replied softly, “You work with some others to get me out of the Pentagon. You, Hank, a man named Logan, and my son—as useful as he was and as much as he enjoyed it, I do wish you wouldn’t encourage his bad habits. Afterward, we had…have? A bit of a screaming match airing everything out. You haven’t got there yet, but I have, I remember it all.”
Charles shook his head slowly, Erik’s hand finally moving from his cheek at the movement. “No, why…why would we break you out? How did we do it? I…well, I was going to say I hate you but I don’t think I do.”
“Good,” Erik said softly, “Because I love you and I have since you pulled me from the water.” He’s given up on not telling Charles about the future. After all, this could help them get to where Erik wants to be and faster, right? He hoped so. “You help me because I didn’t kill the president. I was trying to save him. Someone else shot and the bullet curved because I was trying to stop him from being hit. I was stopped before I had the chance.”
For the first time, Erik found himself wondering where this version of himself was. Was he still in his cell in the Pentagon or was he in the future with his version of Charles? He’d have to ask when he got back if Charles had seen his younger self. That would be a strange conversation.
“You…then why would you?” Charles asked, looking like he wasn’t sure if he could believe Erik and what he was saying.
“Because the president was one of us,” Erik answered but Charles laughed again, this one sounding like he was barely hanging onto his sanity.
“Love me. You love me? Why would you do all of this? Why did you leave me on the beach? Why do you keep leaving me after that? Why do you keep hurting me?” Charles asked, sounding frantic.
Erik reached out, taking Charles’s hands in his, now sitting up on the bed and looking down at the smaller man. “I love you. I always have and I always will. I left on the beach because I thought that was what you wanted. You said we didn’t want the same things, that you didn’t want to be by my side or want me by yours. I was doing what I thought you wanted. And besides that, I had hurt you and I thought if I left it would protect you. Any time I love someone they end up hurt or dead. I wanted to spare you. I’d already caused you that pain, I couldn’t take that back, but I could keep you alive if I left. I never wanted to hurt you, mein Schatz. That was never my intention.”
For a moment, Charles just looked at Erik and Erik tried to not push him to say or do something. He knew he had just said a lot and there was a lot to process, but he was eager for some kind of response. He needed to know how Charles felt, and what he was thinking. Anything would be better than continuing to sit in silence, wondering what was going through his mind. If only he was the telepath, or Charles had his powers and could project.
“I love you too, you know?” Charles asked finally. “I thought I hated you, but I think I hate myself because I love you. I don’t think it’s possible for me to actually hate you, no matter what happens, no matter what you do.”
“Okay, remember that in a few years when I try to end the world, please,” Erik said and Charles smiled but Erik remained looking at him seriously. “Wait, you’re not joking?”
“I’m afraid not, old friend,” Erik said, “Some stuff happens and then I do some things I shouldn’t. I won’t get into it all now, but I will be needing a friend. Believe me when I say, you’re the only one that could pull me away from that path.”
Charles nodded a little and sighed, “Sometimes it still astounds me the things you do,” Charles admitted, “Trying to end the world? Really Erik.”
“I’m not alone and it’s not my idea. Just someone feeding on vulnerability and my anger,” Erik said, standing up and pulling at Charles’s hands. “Come on. I have the same urge to take care of you now as I did when I first saw you like this and, unlike back then, I don’t have the anger and annoyance to keep me from doing just that. You need a shower and a shave. Maybe a haircut but I won’t put you through that. Then you’re getting a proper meal and drinking something near a gallon of water.”
Charles laughed softly but didn’t stop Erik from pulling him to his feet. “You do enjoy caring for people don’t you, my friend?”
“Only the ones I love, Charles, only the ones I love.”