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If one were to be questioned on the matter of immortality, what might be the first that comes to mind?
Perhaps, strength?
Grit?
Power?
But alas, for the Geo Archon, someone who's lived years and even centuries as what someone would call immortal, there was no other word that could better describe his own experience as a curse.
A curse, where one would be bound to the fate of living through years, and years of life- being so near and yet so far from death; something he’s witnessed countless of times of various companions, travellers but yet never in his own grasp, and yet also most of all- the deaths of the people he loved most.
Zhongli’s been in the presence of death before, certainly- the most painful one of them all being the death of none other than his first love, Guizhong, whom was unfortunately killed in the same patch of glaze lillies where they first met. Ironic, wasn't it?
Or so he thought.
And then came the day when you, another fellow traveller who visited Liyue years ago, walked into his life for the very first time just when a small part of him felt that the rest of his time would be filled with emptiness and plain sorrow.
Zhongli still remembers it vividly, a core memory etched in the back of his head, shining amongst all the other thousands of memories he had- the first time you met, when he witnessed glistening of your hair beneath the moonlight, that bright gleam in your eyes when you spoke about something you were overjoyed about that day you introduced yourself to him, that bubbling laughter of yours in the air that still caused his heart to skip a beat at the mere recall of, and most of all…that blinding smile of yours that made you look absolutely breathtaking. A sight he’s never once witnessed before, a sight that caused his heart to well up with a familiar heavy yet warm feeling he knew too well.
Love.
The way his heart pounded in his chest everytime he shared glances with you across the room, that clenching in his gut every time he was by your side- it was something that was definitely not unfamiliar to him in the slightest.
Never once had the Archon ever pictured himself to fall for one ever again, not after that pure heartache when he lost his first love- heck, even swearing to himself that he wouldn't. Especially not for a human, a mere traveller who probably wouldn't have as much impact on him in the future. That he’d keep his heart closed, sealed away from unnecessary emotions that would only get in the way of his duties to protect Liyue- but yet?
That one night, the first time he felt your soft lips on his own during the Lantern Rite Festival when you leaned in by his side and closed the distance between you- he knew he was absolutely done for. That warmth of your arms around his neck, pulling him in, the way your frames fit so perfectly against one another as if it was simply meant to be- fate, as one would call it, as the colourful burst of lights filled the dark starlit sky above you two.
The very first night Zhongli held you in his arms.
And the very first time the Archon had actually felt like himself in a long, long time- for once, he actually wanted to be immortal, just so he could hold you like that for many more times to come, and stay with you till you grew old and grey by his side.
But was it also written in that fate between you two that the final time he’d be holding you in his arms would be when you were practically bleeding out, the crimson red staining his hands as the stench of iron filled the air, the after effects of the failed mission you went on which led you to suffer a deep, fatal stab wound from the spear you were stabbed with when he found you.
And Zhongli knew, that worst nightmare of his had come true yet again- like his past was coming back to him in some cruel form of dejavu.
He looked down at your frail, weak and defeated body which he held so tenderly in his arms as if worried that any other movement might cause you to absolutely break even more than you already were, his eyes wide and filling with a pure sense of dread and horror that you’ve never once witnessed before on the usually calm and stoic Archon’s expressions, jolting to and fro from your face, back to your wound and back again to meet your gaze. He could feel his hands already beginning to tremble, pressing one almost firmly yet desperately against that open wound of yours on your lower abdomen in futile attempts to stop the bleeding as countless strings of shaky desperate begs and ‘it’s okay, i’ve got you’s left his lips, though the crimson red only continued to flow out of you, staining the ground beneath you two as well mercilessly.
His chest heaved, rising and falling with heavy and almost erratic breaths- feeling as though the air was just not enough to fill his lungs to keep his composure and calm, to keep his mind from falling apart in an instant- and his heart only feeling like it was being ripped apart and shredded into pieces all over again.
It was already far too late, and that truth and harsh reality seemed to hit Zhongli harder than he’d ever expected it would.
The sight of pure agony and pain on your pale expression as you whimpered and trembled uncontrollably in his arms, grasping at his tailcoat with shaky bloodstained hands so desperately while he held you close, the warm tears falling down your cheeks as choked sobs left your lips, burying your face against him for the much needed comfort from the pure agonising pain practically ripping you apart with every second, the blood draining out of you just as your life did.
This was what Zhongli desperately never wanted to feel ever again, feeling his whole world crumble apart in front of him in his arms while he was left helpless, knowing he could do nothing more than to hold you in this moment for what might be the last time, ease you and simply accept it like he always knew he had to- to be strong for you and hold you close even though his own vision was already blurring with the tears and stung his eyes, forcing them shut as he held you close, whispering words of reassurance and comfort, showering you with all sorts of words of affection for the last time he possibly could, the unbearable painful feeling tugging at his heartstrings only growing as he felt the breaths you took become more shallow and steady hearing his words with ever passing second, simple soft sniffles and quiet sobs beginning to leave you as you still kept your grip onto his tailcoat, and his strong arms remained wrapped around you and holding you close like he was never letting go, your own eyelids falling shut just as his did.
And before he knew it, within merely seconds after, when he pulled away slightly just to take a glance at you, his heart already dropping the moment he felt your body go limp, your hand slipping its grip on his tailcoat as you went completely unmoving, lifeless- he simply couldn't hold himself together anymore.
Not when the only person who ever made him believe that he was one worthy of love was taken away from him yet again like this.
The tears and trembling sobs left his lips uncontrollably as much as he tried to hold them back, holding you close one last time, as he placed a final, soft kiss onto the top of your head, his bloodstained hand cupping the back of your head and the other supporting your frame in his arms.
Perhaps it wasn't in your fate to suffer such a painful and sudden death,
And alas, perhaps it was his own fate that was already written for decades and centuries on, the fate he’s been cursed with even from the beginning,
The curse of immortality.