Chapter Text
“Where should I put the barley?”
“At the foot of a tree, under the roots preferably. If need be you should dig into the earth a bit.”
“Can I choose any tree?”
“Yes, any tree will do.”
“You know, our priest often burns the offerings she makes, or she puts them in a bag and then does something complicated with them. Like she takes a pitcher of water and then she pours—”
“An important job for any priest is to listen to their god. Put the barley down.”
“Oh, yes of course. Right away.”
“Now, are you ready?
“Yes.”
“Then lay your head against the grass boy, and I will tell you the story as I remember it.
“In a forest not unlike this one, a long time ago, a hunter was stalking through the trees. It had been a harsh winter and though the weather was clearing up the hunter had yet to have any luck. Thus, as he told me later, he was excited by the deer tracks in the mud. He could tell the animal had been limping.
“When he came upon a clearing, peering through the bushes, he immediately gripped his spear. Maybe it was instinct or noble courage but he was neither held back by fear nor hesitation as he plunged his spear into the cat’s side. The animal howled in pain and darted back, breaking the spear’s shaft. Escaping back into the forest. Half of the Hunter’s spear still lodged between its ribs.
“I cannot tell you what he was thinking when he first saw me, but I must have made a pathetic sight. Blood drying in my fur and my guts sprawled across the forest floor. I could barely hold up my own head, every breath laboured to me. The beast had feasted on me and I had been wholly unprepared.”
“You’re a deer?”
“Once, yes. I have a different form now.”
“Oohh, what kind of form?”
“What does it matter to you? You cannot see me wholly anyway.”
“I wish I could see you! It would be so much easier if you came out of the ground. I would certainly hear you better, your voice sounds so weird through the earth.”
“I cannot do that, boy. And I doubt you would want to see me.”
“I don’t mind if you’re ugly.”
“You distract me too much. Let’s continue with the story.
“The rest might be easier to understand if you knew how I was born. I first came into existence deep within the roots of the silent forest. You might have heard of it. At that point I had been a fawn for as long as I could remember. I believed the silent forest to be a powerful god, and had always thought of it as taking care of me. At least before this nothing within the forest had ever harmed me. The villages on the edge of the forest made prayers and offerings to the forest in my name, though they required nothing of me in return. They believed my appearance to be a sign of the coming spring. And it was true enough, I moved with the seasons. For a very long time, my existence was a stable and blissful one.
“Thus you might understand my surprise when a bobcat pounced at me from the undergrowth. I ran, of course. It was an instinct I had never known I possessed. And it was not enough. I had never been preyed upon before, had never even conceived of myself as a being capable of being harmed. The pain was unimaginable.
“Before I knew it the cat had caught up with me, sunk its teeth deep in my throat, its claws between my ribs. Slammed me against the tree where, in shock and pain, I could not think of doing anything besides laying there. Struggling to breathe. Helpless.
“It was in this state that the hunter came upon me. He walked to me with knife in hand, intending I suppose to put me out of my misery. Boy let me tell you, even gods are afraid to die. Looking back the knife probably wouldn’t have killed me, it is a difficult affair to kill a god, but fear is not a rational emotion. So I spoke, and begged. Though my voice was torn, blood gurgling, he recognized me for what I was. And so he asked, ‘Are you a god?’
“‘Yes, I am Beloved of the Forest, and if you save me I will grant you any wish.’ I answered, almost forgetting myself, hastily adding, ‘As long as it is both within reason and my power.’
“A desperate plea made worse by a ruined throat not accustomed to human language, but he put his knife back in its sheath anyway. Kneeling by my side he petted my head, before gathering my body in his arms and carrying me back to his village.”
“Well that’s nice of him.”
“It certainly was.”
“Uhhh.…”
“Is something wrong?”
“May I ask a question?”
“Of course.”
“If you are the beloved of the forest, then why did that beast attack you?”
“I have often asked myself the same question and never found an answer. Maybe I somehow displeased the silent forest or maybe it never cared for me in the first place, even when I was Beloved of the Forest. A name is after all just a name.”
“My mother says that a person’s name is a window to their soul.”
“Well I’m a god and not a person, boy.”
“Not that I think she’s right, you know. I don’t like my own name, but.. I thought that you might like to hear it.”
“No. Do you want to hear the rest of the story?”
“Yes, please.”
“It took some time before I had to make good on my half of the bargain. In the meantime the villagers took care of me and dedicated a part of their prayers and offering to me and in turn I promised them that their harvest would be more bountiful than last year’s. It surprised me how easy it was to exercise my power this way. To simply speak into existence that which I wished to be true; I had never actively done so before. Though looking back I might just have been lucky. Later I heard that the raven of Iraden had died the previous year and Iraden fallen in disrepair. A more bountiful harvest was not a hard thing to provide.
“The hunter visited me often, petting my fur and feeding me berries. But it was at the height of spring that he came to me with his wish. ‘Beloved of the Forest’ he called to me as I trotted over. ‘I have settled on a wish.’
“‘Then I shall grant it, if of course I judge it to be both reasonable and within my power.’ I had already learned from the villagers’ stories of other gods to be careful with my words, though the lesson had not entirely stuck. ‘Of course.’ He smiled at me, nervously I would say, but that might just be hindsight. Then he spoke, ‘Beloved of the Forest, I want you to tell me that you love me.’”
“Oh!”
“Yes at the time it seemed an odd request, but to my relief at least one wholly within my powers.”
“It is such a romantic request! Did you love him?”
“Everything a god says must be true child. And it was an easy thing to say, after all he had helped me greatly. So I turned my head to him and with lips not quite used to his language I told him ‘I love you.’ And he smiled even wider.
“Spring went on. It was sometime before anything changed; I had half a mind to return to the forest. But the trees were dense and I would not be able to anticipate all of its dangers. In those times I would often stand at the edge of the forest peering through the branches. The forest seemed darker than it had before. In comparison the sunlit fields and hills south of the village were much more appealing, and it was there I often spent my days. The hunter would visit me and brush my fur or simply sit by me in the grass, basking in the sun. Then as of routine he would tell me he loved me, lazily dragging his fingers through my fur, and I would reply in kind.
“When summer was slowly creeping closer, it was the hunter, dozing next to me in the field, who with eyes still closed spoke to me. ‘Beloved’ he said, ‘I am to depart south in the coming week. I would like for you to come with me.’
“‘Where would we go?’
“‘Xulah, maybe. At least away from Iraden and the Tel.’
“‘To do what?’
“‘Start a new life of course, with you by my side. For such an undertaking Iraden has very little left to offer me, us.’
“It seemed to me, at the time, that there was nothing tying me to either the village or the forest anymore except for the hunter. And I love him. So I did not need to think long before reaching my decision. To follow him was, again, an easy choice.
“Before I knew it I was preparing for a trip to cross the mountains with the Hunter, and —”
“I’m sorry.”
“What is it?”
“I think I need to go, my mom is going to be really mad if I return home any later.”
“Is the sun setting already?”
“Well not entirely, but it disappeared just behind the tree tops.”
“Then hurry home boy and return to me tomorrow.”
“How am I supposed to find you again? This clearing is hidden away pretty well.”
“You do not need to worry about such things, boy. You will find me again if you mean to, this forest is deceptively placid. More importantly, if you’re actually serious about wanting to be a priest, you need to make sure that you bring another offering.”
“Of course I’m serious! I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anything- I mean- what kind of offering would you like?”
“A living one this time.”