Work Text:
"Ruby, do you have visuals?"
"Mmm... Hang on.. Give me... just... a... moment... There!"
As soon as the images from Ruby's cameras appeared on the screens at UNIT HQ, Kate Lethbridge-Stewart sighed, she was a professional, working among professionals, these things could happen, all she had to do was...
"Girl, your camera is upside down" Rose Temple-Noble said, her boss shot her a look, that was not the proper way of saying that.
"Oopsie, sorry guys and gals..." more shaking of the camera, more grunting and finally, the image settled “Better?”
"Much. Thank you" Rose replied "We're receiving everything right now, any comments?"
Silence.
"Ruby, we're speaking to you" Shirley said, mildly worried "Any comments about what you're seeing?"
"Oh, right, me, I'm here for that, not for anything else"
The camera shook again, as the young woman explained everything was fine, the large amount of mannequins in the several clothes stores across the street were unmoving, an obvious thing for mannequins to do, but not so obvious when Kate insisted they were Autons.
“Ninety-seven percent probability" Morris Gibbons had said when giving them the mission brief "The radar is perfectly calibrated after the last Auton incursion"
"We'll need you to make sure they are in fact Autons and, if possible, detect where the Nestene Consciousness that controls them is located, then I'll give the orders and we'll use the Galvanic Beam to blow it to smithereens" Kate told them that and she sounded serious about it.
For all response, both the Doctor and his companion gave a salute and off they went, three miles south, to a tiny cafe, to keep vigilance of the street and every single mannequin behind the windows.
"Ruby? Visuals, please" Kate repeated.
"Right, here we go" the young woman replied, shaking her head "It's just... this thing... makes me dizzy"
"Telepathic camera" Shirley explained "Ingrained in your mind, don't worry, it's just for a brief period of time, until the mission is over"
"The Doctor is more familiar with this technology" Morris Gibbons added, chuckling a little when Ruby hiccuped and the image went blurry for an instant.
"Which makes me ask" Kate said, interrupting him "Why is he not the one wearing the telepathic link?"
"Ummm... you know... he's..."
"What was that, Ruby?"
"Kinda busy"
"Busy with what?" Rose questioned "Is there something else wrong?"
"No, no, no... Quite the opposite, actually" Ruby replied.
"Ruby, what is it?"
"Nothing, everything's fine!"
"Ruby, where's the Doctor?"
"Sitting at a table, right behind me, enjoying a cup of coffee with Ro... I mean, with no one, forget that last part!"
"Girl, you're lying" Rose accused her.
"No? Of course not!"
"The edges of the camera are turning red, you're clearly lying according to these readings" Shirley added.
"Fine, okay? I didn't know he was gonna show up, so as soon as he did, I told the Doctor I'd take care of the Auton stakeout!"
The members of UNIT shared a glance between each other, Kate, once again, took charge and asked:
"Who showed up?"
"Rogue"
Silence. Ruby shook her head once, twice, three times, until she finally said:
"Guys, you there?"
"Yes, here" Morris explained "Searching in the Earth database for this Rogue person, no matches, probable trap, sixteen percent"
"Oh no, Rogue is just..."
"Extending the search to extraterrestrial beings encountered by UNIT" Shirley said, after a few moments, she confirmed "No matches"
"Probable trap, twenty-one percent"
"Morris, I swear, this is not a trap"
"Using The Vlinx database to expand the search parameters, connecting now" Mel intervened, typing as fast as she could.
"Guys, it's not a trap, it's just his... I mean.. I can't tell you who he is, but it's not a trap!"
"Why can't you tell us, Miss Sunday?" Kate asked and the young woman shuddered. She didn't like it when the head of UNIT called her that, she sounded like her mum so much "What are you hiding from us?"
"Nothing bad, I promise, It’s just can't tell you"
“If it’s nothing bad, why can’t you tell us?” Morris said.
“I just can’t tell you”
"Why not?" Rose and Mel asked at the same time.
"Because it'll make you shriek and squeal"
As soon as she heard that, Kate slammed her first against the desk, Ruby shuddered with fear at that reaction, something evident by the way the image shook once again.
"Miss Sunday, I have the privilege of working with the best of experts, the most professional humans I've ever encountered and I can assure you, none of them shriek and squeal, as you claim"
"Morris and Shirley did when the Doctor took them to the Fountain of Wui to meet the Keepers of Eternal Knowledge" Ruby countered.
"It was an enlightening experience!" Morris defended himself and his coworker.
"Still..." Kate said, but Ruby spoke over her.
"And Mel did the same when the Doctor took her to a gargocycle race"
"It was fun, how could I not?"
"And Rose also did that when we took her to the planet with real, actual, Pokemon!"
"I didn't expect they'd be so fluffy"
Kate took a deep breath, she would definitely have a conversation with them in the future, still...
"That's no excuse, Ruby, now please, tell us who Rogue is"
The camera shook for a moment until it focused on the image of the Doctor, sitting on a table, in front of him, there was another man, with curly dark hair and a huge smile on his face, he said something no one managed to understand and the Doctor laughed loudly at that.
"Rogue is the Doctor's boyfriend, guys" Ruby finally confessed.
A shriek could be heard all across the main room and Kate, Morris, Shirley, Mel and Rose looked at the source of it.
Colonel Ibrahim cleared his throat, looked away, then stared at Kate and whispered:
"So sorry, Ma'am, won't happen again"
"Wow Kate, you really are surrounded by professionals" Ruby teased her, the older woman decided to ignore that and was about to ask Ruby to focus on the mission again, when she noticed something weird.
"What's in the Doctor's lap, Ruby?"
As if on cue, the Doctor got up and unfolded an official UNIT uniform, shaking it left and right as he said:
"I'm telling you babes, you'll look perfect in this!"
Rogue said something that no one managed to understand and Shirley started to type frantically on her desk, Mel and Rose approached, whispering to each other, while Morris shook his head.
"What's going on in there?" Kate demanded "What are you doing?"
"Sorry boss, we need the gossip" Mel said, shrugging as she pressed a button.
Immediately, Ruby felt a headache that lasted for a second.She then realized her sight was focused on the couple and what was more surprising, she could hear them talking to each other, crystal clear.
"What the hell was that?" she complained.
"Just hacked your brain for a bit, don't worry" Mel explained.
"You did what to my WHAT?"
Immediately after she shouted, the Doctor looked at his companion, Rogue also stared at her, both of them obviously worried.
"Everything okay, Rubes?" the Doctor questioned.
Ruby managed to give him a thumbs up, which made the Timelord go back to insist on the idea that Rogue should wear the UNIT uniform.
"Look at me, Doctor" he said, standing up and doing a little twirl "Ocean blue, sunny shades of yellow, light crimson, I don't do wear black, never black"
The next thing happened so fast that the only thing that Kate managed to say was:
"Is the Doctor..."
"Giving him puppy eyes?" Mel completed.
"Oh yes,he does it all the time, we're talking about Rogue"
The bounty hunter sighed and finally complied.
"Take your jacket off, first" the Doctor suggested.
"Oh, I bet you'd love that, wouldn't you?" Rogue teased him, grabbing his jacket "But not right now, wait until the night"
"Oh, you're impossible"
"Says the time-traveling alien" Rogue replied with a wink.
"You're also a time-traveling alien!"
"Maybe that's why we're so compatible, Doc"
"Don't call me that, never"
"Never except when..."
The image went black for a moment and the sound cut off, the members of UNIT looked at each other with a puzzled expression until the image as back: Ruby was looking towards the mannequins again, whispering:
"Trust me, you don't wanna hear that last part"
"Why not?" Morris questioned.
"Anyway!" Kate shouted, trying to retake control when she heard the female personnel were bursting into giggles "Well thought, Miss Sunday, focus back on the mission!"
Then, in a much lower voice, she commented:
"I can't believe this man, first, he has a granddaughter and doesn't say a thing, then he brings his TARDIS right here and unleashes an ancient Osirian evil that almost completely destroys the planet and now, to top it all off..."
"He hides the existence of his boyfriend?" Rose suggested.
"No, he steals valuable UNIT equipment!"
"Kate, it's just a jacket" Shirley argued.
Ruby took the little back-and-forth as a chance to go back to peep on her best friend, completely forgetting her telepathic camera was still active. Rogue was taking trinkets out of his brand new jacket's pockets, laughing along with the Doctor when he realized they were little spy drones.
"Oh, so cute, 21st century human spytech is so silly and basic!" the bounty hunter said.
"I know right?" the Doctor laughed with him.
"I was the one who invented that silly spytech!" Morris complained.
"Oh calm down, is not that big of a deal" Shirley said with a reassuring smile.
Next, Rogue picked out a little metallic ball and as soon as he saw it turn a deep shade of red, he threw it in his cup of coffee, which immediately shattered in several pieces.
"Also their explosive technology is so primitive, whoever designed this is so far back in terms of warfare, it is more adorable than menacing"
The Doctor chuckled at that and Shirley's smile twisted into a frown.
"I was the lead designer of that boom marble! I am gonna kill that guy!"
"Kate, calm down your kids, pronto" Ruby said, the edges of her camera turning pink as she laughed.
"I'll have you know I don't take orders from a civilian" the older woman said, but after a sigh, she added "But yes, control your temper, Shirley, Morris, please"
Meanwhile, Rose and Mel were chatting between each other, pointing at the screen, both of them delighted to see how the Doctor blushed deeply when Rogue took his hand and made him sit back on the table, he dragged his own chair at his side, looking at him adoringly, putting his hand above his, he started to touch each of his fingers gently, flustering the Timelord more and more.
"What is he doing?" Mel asked.
Morris lifted a finger and was about to speak, when Rose added:
"And no, I doubt it's a trap"
"He's actually playing the Doctor" Ruby explained.
"Doing what?"
"A few weeks ago, the Doctor had a panic attack after the three of us went to the planet Amphi, there's a race of beings there that only express through music and he got flashbacks to Maestro attacking us"
At the other side of the comms, everyone went silent, the Doctor explained to them about the Pantheon of Discord and after UNIT faced both the Toymaker and Sutekh, they could only imagine how powerful Maestro could be.
"So..." Ruby continued, while Rogue made the Doctor put both of his hands on the table, still touching him as softly as he could "... Rogue asked me to teach him how to play the piano and if there's isn't a piano around, then he will play the Doctor's hands, to remind him how beautiful music can be"
"That's really romantic" Colonel Ibrahim said aloud.
Kate looked at him, but the man insisted:
"That's objectively romantic, Ma'am, you have to admit it"
She didn't say a word, but when she looked back at the screen, she focused her sights on the Doctor.
He was laughing loudly, smiling from ear to ear, shaking his head left and right after Rogue had finished his little concerto in his hands.
He then took him by the face and said, as loud as he could:
"Oh, I love you, bounty hunter!"
And kissed him right on the lips, Rogue was taken aback for a split second, but immediately melted into his arms, closing his eyes, the Doctor kept kissing him, over and over again, giving him only the briefest of moments to catch up his breath and once he was done, he looked at Ruby.
"Girl, aren't you supposed to be looking for Autons or something like that?"
"Right, right!" Ruby said, turning her head around in the direction of the street.
She laughed a little when she heard the people on the other side of the telepathic line groan and whispered:
"Don't worry guys, at least we can still have sound, hack me up Shirley"
"Immediately!" the scientist replied, turning the human's hearing capabilities to the maximum.
At that point, Kate had given up, fine, her non-professional team of gossipers could take interest in the Doctor's romantic life (he was her friend too, and as such, she was also interested, but she was never going to confess such a thing), but at least they could keep going with the mission.
"Oh, are you dealing with Autons, too?" Rogue questioned.
"What do you mean... too?" the Doctor asked.
"Well, I stopped by here because I detected Artron energy, but before that, I got another reading, and I ended up on an abandoned building a few blocks away from here, there was a Nestene Consciousness, a little one, still, I blew it up"
"Sorry, you did what, love?"
"Blew it up, I had to, I wanted to have a date with my handsome Doctor, after all”
The other man shook his head, there would be enough time to think about how romantic that was, but before that, he had to insist:
“Are you sure you blew up a Nestene Consciousness?”
“Yup, it was inside a big room with several lava constructs,right in the center, very hot..."
He made a pause and the Doctor raised an eyebrow, knowing too well what he was about to say next.
"... Reminded me of you, actually"
"Oh, do shut up, bounty hunter"
"Make me"
"You bet"
Ruby could actually hear, beyond Rogue's words, the way Kate sighed exasperatedly, the head of UNIT was squeezing her forehead with two fingers when Mel commented:
"So... We just spent half an hour trying to do something Rogue already did for us?"
"Pretty much" Morris confirmed.
"End transmission" Kate said, dejectedly.
"Sorry about that, babes! I swear I didn't know!" the Doctor shouted.
"Um... Who is he talking to?"
Ruby moved left and right and after a few seconds, the image showed the Doctor, hugging a confused Rogue.
"I had no idea my beautiful boyfriend here had done all the work already"
"Wait... Is he talking to us?" Rose asked.
"Yes!"
"How?"
"Well, I already knew Ruby had a telepathic camera" the Doctor said.
"And of course, I suspected something was wrong since minute one" Rogue admitted.
"How so?"
"Well, the Doctor already told me Ruby was using one of those devices, but after seeing her moving erratically and grabbing her head every five seconds, I assumed she was getting headaches from wearing some basic, low budget psychic implant"
"Basic?"
"Low budget?"
"Besides, the coms work both ways, we could hear your voices from over there, gossiping and all, you need to configure that precarious system"
"We designed that system!" Morris and Shirley said at the same time.
"I swear I'm gonna kill that guy" the older scientist said, looking away.
"Nice to meet you too" Rogue replied with a cheeky grin.
"Oh and one more thing" the Doctor said, getting serious all of a sudden "Kate, darling, you need to use your inner voice, okay? I'm sure I could hear you nagging my Ruby from 73 yards away, or even farther from that"
"End transmission" the blonde woman insisted, doing her best to contain her embarrassment and failing.
"She's quite grumpy, that one" Rogue said, while the Doctor and Ruby erupted with laughter.
"I said, end transmission!" Kate screamed.
*bzzzzt*
CONNECTION LOST