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Santana wanted to complain but right now one of Brittany’s hands was on her hip, the other holding the face paint stick and using it to paint a lesbian pride flag on her cheek. Santana was sat on the kitchen counter in their dorm apartment. Brittany already had her own bi pride flag on her cheek.
Quinn was applying the face paint to Blaine not far away.
“I don’t understand why I can’t come.” Rachel whined her arms crossed over her chest. “I have two dads. I’ve dealt with pride and bigotry more than any of you.”
“So go with your dads.” Santana scowled. “You’re not coming with us without a letter that fits you.”
“Then why is Quinn allowed to go with you? She’s straight too!”
“Quinn isn’t straight.” Brittany laughed. “She slept with Santana. Multiple times.”
“Once. It was once.” Quinn pointed out.
“It was one night.” Santana corrected. “Quinn puts the Q in LGBTQ.”
“As Queer or Questioning?” Rachel asked. Quinn just shrugged in response.
“I dunno, I like what I like and I don’t think too deeply on it. If I want to sleep with someone, I’ll sleep with someone.” Quinn put the finishing touches on the flag.
“We have almost every letter.” Brittany grinned. “Sanny is the L.” She had also finished the flag on Santana’s cheek and signed off on her work with a chaste kiss to her wife’s life. “Blaine and Kurt are the G. I’m the B. We don’t have a T-”
“That’s how you can come Berry. Let’s go back to the early days, we’ll put a trans flag on your cheek and you can be told how pretty you are for a man.” Santana snarked only to be lightly smacked by Brittany.
“That’s mean. Real transwomen are way more beautiful than Rachel.”
Quinn rolled her eyes.
“Rachel, Pride is not about you.” Kurt explained gently.
“I belong in Pride. I mean look at all I’ve done for the gay community.”
“Aside from the scores of men thankful for your existence as a great explanation for why they’re gay or like they’re your accessory or prop, like say trying to make Kurt your fairy gayfather to give you make overs to benefit your life. Or trying to get validation for yourself by walking around in your gross granny panties whining about how unattractive you are so anyone with half a heart will lie to you to make you feel better.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Rachel glared at Santana.
“You did this to Dani no less than five times. She told me about it as a reason why she was uncomfortable going back to my place. Not that we could have privacy in that loft since I was living on the couch even though I was paying rent.”
“Rachel you’ve done that to me too.” Kurt pointed out.
“Face it. Pride is not for the hags. Clubs are not for hags. The LGBTQ community does not exist for your benefit.” Santana stressed. “Go occupy any other space. I want to enjoy my first pride with my wife without you trying to make it about you.”
Quinn was about to change the subject when the intercom sounded to let them know someone was downstairs wanting to get in.
Brittany went to the intercom and after finding out it was UPS she buzzed them up.
“Sanny what did you order from Amazon this time?” Brittany teased opening their door and propping it open.
“Nothing. My last order already came. That’s why we have the face paint. Did you order anything?”
“That flavored lube…the cuffs…oh that crop. But no that’s all been delivered. I guess the cats did? I mean Lord Tubbington ordered those hardcore porn dvds so he probably ordered more.”
“Your cat orders hardcore porn dvds?” Blaine asked looking over at Brittany.
“Yeah. I already took his credit card don’t worry.” Brittany reassured him.
Quinn just raised an eyebrow at Santana who was busy staring at the floor.
The answer to the mystery delivery was answered when the UPS guy knocked on the door and they opened it to reveal the giant box, it was taller than the door.
Brittany signed the form and started to open the large box from inside the hall.
“It’s from Sugar!” Brittany called out which got Santana’s attention.
“Yes! She sends the best gifts. For our wedding, she bought the barn and gave it to us.”
“We didn’t get any gift from her…” Kurt pointed out.
“We didn’t really get any gifts from anyone…” Blaine added.
“Almost like no one expected you two to get married.” Quinn muttered.
“Okay, it’s a bunch of stuff.” Brittany explained. She tossed one smaller box into the apartment that was labelled Santana.
Santana ripped it open and grinned as she pulled out various tank tops with sayings like ‘Lesbian Princess’ ‘Lesbians do it better’ ‘I support gay rights and gay wrongs.’ ‘Sounds gay I’m in.’ A black Birkin bag that Santana literally screamed when she first saw. Some rainbow towels, pride bikinis and pool floats. There was a post it that just read Happy 1st married pride.
“See this is how you support your friends during pride Rachel. Take notes.” Santana eyed the brunette.
Brittany’s box was the same only a different colored Birkin bag and instead of lesbian it was Bisexual and far more unicorns. There was a box for the cats with stuff like I love my Moms. There was a plush rainbow rug that looked like someone shaved the mane of a unicorn.
“Sugar is the best.” Brittany agreed. “She should’ve been a bridesmaids instead of you Rachel.”
“Yeah, she should have searched for the lizard.” Rachel rolled her eyes.
“You didn’t even try to look for one.” Santana shot back.
Brittany sent a photo of Santana fawning over the gifts to Sugar with the caption of thank so much you hit us up next time you’re in the city.
…
Brittany passed the water bottle filled with a cocktail up to Santana as they were heading back home, covered in sweat and glitter. Lipstick smeared. Santana on Brittany’s back because she refused to wear anything but ridiculous heels and after eleven hours dancing in the streets and just partying in general, her feet were killing her.
“Happy Pride babe!” Santana tried to manoeuvre herself to be able to kiss Brittany’s lips but her shifting around caused Brittany to lose her balance and they both came crashing to the ground in a heap of laughter.
“How drunk are you two?” Quinn asked raising an eyebrow no longer concerned once she could tell they were okay.
“Not as drunk as I was when I was tongue deep in you.” Santana answered with a wink.
“That’s a great idea!” Brittany picked up the dropped cocktail. “Catch up Q. We can have a fun time tonight.”
“I am not getting drunk so I can sleep with you both.”
“Come on you owe me. You slept with my wife.”
“God you’re both the worst.” Quinn groaned. They finally arrived to the dorm building.
“Come stay with us. We’re funner than gayberry.”
“So much funner than them. Plus fun morning sex can happen.” Brittany reminded her.
“Fun morning sex is going to happen. With or without you Q. But then we can have brunch.”
Quinn sighed. “Fine. I’ll stay at your place. But I’m not having sex with you. You’re both wasted.”
“Only morning sex.” Brittany agreed.
As soon Santana was laid on the couch she started to pout trying to reach for the blonde.
Brittany was in the kitchen filling up water bottles that she was planning to chug and also make Santana chug to try and starve off the worst of the hangover.
Quinn was on the floor on the air mattress clinging to a pillow determined to block out her friends and just go to bed.
“Britt-Britt?” Santana asked in her little mouse voice.
“Yeah, Sanny?”
“Wanna be my girlfriend?”
“I’d love to but I can’t…”
“Okay…” Santana looked so sad before she pulled herself off the couch to go sob in the bedroom.
Quinn got up to go after her as Brittany stood there confused.
“I can’t be her girlfriend if I’m her wife…” Brittany thought out loud.
“I’ll talk to her.” Quinn went into the bedroom and started to rub Santana’s back. “What’s wrong?”
“Britt doesn’t want to be my girlfriend…”
“Because she’s your wife.”
“She’s my wife?” Santana looked up with so much hope.
“Yes, idiot. You’re just really drunk right now.”
“Oh okay…” Santana calmed down before falling back on the bed and cuddling into a pillow before clearly falling right to sleep.
Quinn made sure she was on her side before leaving the room.
“She forgot you guys were married and was upset because you wouldn’t date her.”
“She’s such a goofus.” Brittany grinned.
…
The next morning Santana groaned as she opened her eyes before shutting them again.
“God I wish I was dead.”
“Don’t joke.” Brittany grumbled wrapping her arms tightly around Santana’s waist.
“I’m gonna be sick.” Santana rolled out of Brittany’s arms falling to the floor where she started to crawl towards the bathroom.
“This is why you don’t fall asleep before you drink a bunch of water.” Brittany muttered before remembering how Santana cried herself to sleep basically and why. “Babe, you forgot we were married and cried when I wouldn’t be your girlfriend.” Brittany laughed. “You got a crush on me.”