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How is it that when I want time to stop it just goes too fucking fast?
“Just close your eyes for me, okay? I know, it hurts. You’re ready to stop…”
He should have been across the field by then, should have had his saber hilt-deep in that damn “Nightmare” Zero’s chest, had X as far from the situation as possible and safe, resting. The whole situation should have gone so damn different, and yet…
The second he managed to track X and get into the damn space the Nightmare was lurking (Zero Nightmare, ha, oh he was about to be someone’s nightmare all right–) he’d had one singular goal in mind. Get to X. Down the fake. Get X back home safely and figure out next steps. Should have been easy. But fate in particular loved to unfold in ways that specifically fucked Wily’s masterpiece, and thus when he did manage to get to where his violet copy was holed up–
“X!”
It was well past too late. One kiss later, and the person he loved most’s fate was sealed: X went unconscious immediately, collapsing against the nightmare like a marionette with cut strings. The violet replica laughed softly, gently petting the back of X’s helmet.
“It’s all right, there there. Go to sleep. I’ll see you soon,” the Nightmare cooed, delicately setting X down nearby with hands folded prettily over his stomach. He turned to face Zero now, casually drawing his saber as if this were just a practice match.
“So,” Nightmare Zero drawled, a sudden glitch in his vocalizer doubling the sound. “Look who finally made it back. Was it really the self-repair running long, or are you just a coward?”
Zero didn’t dignify the comment with a response, and only leapt forward. He also wouldn’t dignify the resulting victory by calling it a fight.
That had been about an hour ago. X was now sleeping peacefully in Lifesaver’s bay - a room Zero hadn’t left since X had ended up in it, despite the glares from the medical personnel who frankly hadn’t trusted him since the Eurasia crash. (Not that I can really blame them, he muttered in his head, floating back to the reports and readings from the aftermath.)
Despite that, his eyes were firmly on X in the recharge pod. Completely at peace, aside from the occasional errant twitch. It was probably the most sleep he’d ever gotten since he was built, or at least the most restful.
And whose fault is that? Zero shut his eyes with a growl of annoyance, deadset on ignoring the little voice in the back of his head that insisted it was his fault X was infected and–
“Zero?”
His eyes snapped open – standing at his left now was Alia, who’d been equally watchful in her vigil. Zero supposed he couldn’t blame her, Navigators tended to end up closer to certain Hunters over time. Alia’d stepped in as X’s partner while he was gone, it only made sense she’d be there.
Because she was their friend, his rational mind piped up. “Hey, Alia. I’m fine.”
“Liar.” Alia also was quick to tag bullshit when she saw it, a hand on her hip and a frown on her face. “You and X do the same thing whenever one of you gets hurt. You brood, then go back into battle without processing any of it.”
“Look, you tell me when there’s a Maverick therapist, I’ll go fight that and any other issues I have at once,” Zero finally looked up at her with a small smirk. “Could be fun. Therapy through violence.”
Alia looked at him like she wanted him dead for a moment, then broke into laughter. “Okay, fine. I might have needed that. …How is he?”
“Sleeping… peacefully, I guess. Lifesaver said his AV’s got the thing on the ropes - by the time we deal with Gate and the rest of his gang of idiots, X’ll be fully operational again. No lasting damage.”
“Hah… is it wrong that I’m kind of glad he’s going to sleep through the rest of it?” Alia paused, watching Zero reach over and gently brush a finger against X’s cheek as he flinched in his sleep. “...What do you think he’s dreaming about?”
“Dunno. Hope it’s something good,” Zero muttered, finally moving his hand onto X’s chest. “Core’s running a mile a second and he jumps like that every so often. Otherwise, still as…”
He paused. “Still as the grave.”
X soon relaxed again, Zero taking his hand away with a curse. “Damn it. You’re not just here to check on me, are you?”
“You’re right, sadly enough… I know you’re still feeling rough and don’t want to leave X, but. Signas has orders for you once you’ve got a moment. When you’re ready…”
The silence spoke volumes. Zero sighed, moving to take X’s hand. “I get the situation’s bad but man. Kind of pisses me off.”
In truth, he understood the situation and knew Signas wasn’t just doing this because he could. The Nightmare Virus was only spreading, this really was an all-hands-on-deck situation. But… leaving X here like this was the last thing he wanted. All Zero wanted to do was stay, hold X’s hand and wait for him to wake up.
Hell, what would he do if X woke up after without the real Zero there? Would he even believe that he’d left the nightmare? Who was to say that as he lingered and watched, somewhere in X’s unconscious anti-virus fuelled dreams he’d already given up on ever–
His cheeks suddenly felt wet. Tears? Last time he’d seen those, Iris had died.
It felt like an omen, or a warning maybe. Zero gave X’s hand a gentle squeeze and - only reluctantly - let go.
“...Let’s go, Alia.” He said, standing up to leave the room. “Can you–”
“You’re first on the list when he starts coming around.” Alia brushed by him, already intent on leading the way. “You’re refueled and repaired, right?”
Zero gave her a second to think that through, realized the question was honest and rolled his eyes. “Repaired. Did you see that bad copy touch me?”
“Ha ha. Good to know your self repair got your sense of humor, smartass,” Alia snickered, then smiled. “...I mean that, though. It is actually nice to hear you smarting off again.”
“Hey, if Sigma couldn’t get me to stop, dying wasn’t gonna get it either.”
“I’m sorry, you want me to what?!”
“Take command of X’s team and continue his mission. You’ve lead units in the past - this will be no different.”
Signas’ office was at the top of HQ - once upon a time, it’d been Sigma’s and the envy of any other hunter. Glass windows surrounded the room, offering perfect visibility and letting in whatever sunlight could be pulled in.
Zero was too stunned to notice the crack at the top of the window, or the scratches on the floor - all the signs of decay that would normally feel like warnings were mere set dressing to what felt like the start of a trainwreck. “You say that, but– this is a huge operation! I just got back. I have experience leading units, sure, but not like this! Signas, I can’t stay with X and manage something like this…”
He trailed off, largely because there was no point in protesting. Signas had given the order, after all, which meant… he was expected to abandon X again. All alone, in the medical bay, not knowing Zero had finally made it back to him. What was he going to think?
Signas raised his hand, signaling the end of any and all chance to protest. “I understand - and I sympathize. We’re all worried for X right now. But Lifesaver will be able to manage his condition until he recovers and in the meantime, we need an SA rank to take charge and get this handled before it gets any worse. You’re the best fit, Zero.”
“But–”
“I know you want to stay by X’s side, but right now you’ll need to entrust him to us–”
“I did, and look what happened!” The yell came from Zero’s throat before he could stop it, alarming Signas into jolting backward. ”I entrusted him to you, and now he’s infected with a virus we’ve never seen before!”
The silence that followed was deafening and so was the guilt that trailed after it. I entrusted the Hunters to X, and X to the Hunters, sure. But really the person I want to blame for all of this…
Zero closed his eyes with a sigh, rather than acknowledge the thought further. “Sorry. I didn’t mean that.”
“I rather think you did,” Signas said slowly, relaxing back into his previous position. “And the tension of nearly losing X just brought it out.”
Before Zero could apologize, Signas raised his hand to stop him. “And not unfairly, either. But the fact remains we need someone to take over X’s duties while he’s out of commission. And the only person I’d believe could do it is in front of me. Situation being what it is… you’re our only option, Zero. I’m asking you again - will you take over leading the investigation?”
“I’m starting to think you don’t know what asking means,” Zero muttered bitterly, but… found himself nodding anyway. “Yeah. What’s the next target?”
It wasn’t as if Zero didn’t have experience leading units. He’d had one of his own, after all. But leading at the scale apparently expected of X felt like he’d been asked to do the impossible again.
Not that he hadn’t done it before - impossible was a word not often found in his vocabulary, and this time around it was even less likely to be there. Not when this mission was keeping him away from X, not when there was a chance X could wake up and think Zero wasn’t there– time was everything, and the faster his mission was done the better.
Problem is, taking on the duties X so often claimed like they were as easy as venting was– it was complicated. There was so much more to it than he ever let on–
“Civilian distress signal, far right.”
“Copy that. Heading that way.”
–that it almost made Zero scared he couldn’t keep up. X had an eye on everything - he watched the environment (something Zero once thought he had trained him on) looking for any potential danger, he comforted any terrified civilians he met (something Zero still found impossible and had all but given up doing, preferring to just get them out safe if scared) he even managed to talk down god knows how many Mavericks!
And he did all that while issuing orders, he grumbled, watching the wide-eyed B class behind him wait for Zero’s next words.
How did X do this? With even less experience than Zero, he managed to do so much more. Everyone on this field was looking to him for answers, orders, comfort– X made it look easy!
…
And he’d left him alone with that.
X had to do all of this knowing he was doing it alone, without Zero at his back to guard it. Without him, X’s duties must’ve felt like a mountain - where would he have turned for support? As much as he wracked his mind, the only person X regularly seemed to spend time with outside of Hunter duties was–
“Zero?”
“Copy.”
Each hand that took his when he reached for a struggling civilian felt so ice cold compared to X’s. Each shot he fired - so imprecise, not like how X shot. Sure, his saber was sharp as ever but–
“Orders, sir?”
“Keep moving. I get that you’re exhausted, but taking out the enemy and getting any injured to safety is a priority.”
How did X manage this? Each Nightmare he managed to cut down without issue only left him with a terrified civilian to direct to safety. Half of them were too scared to move, and coordinating their rescue or exit with his team made him feel like he was entering a kernel panic.
And again. Infinitely and ever adaptable X did it alone.
Zero, who had more experience with leading, who had always been a leader felt like he was sinking and X was somewhere above him, laughing softly and extending a hand.
Was this just how it felt? Was this how X felt? While Zero was always charging ahead on the objective, was X always watching and thinking and directing and–
He blinked back in to the sound of buster fire. Right. No time for that.
Just be X for a bit, he decided. Just be X until we have him back.
As if that was easy.
By the time all was said and done - by the time the virus had cleared, Gate lay in pieces and Sigma was (once again, and hopefully for fucking good this time) defeated, X still hadn’t fully woken up yet. A fact that Zero both worried about (because fuck, I can’t do this, not alone and not like you) and was relieved for (because I couldn’t bear the thought of you waking up alone again) even as he returned to X’s bedside.
The reports looked good, per Lifesaver. His AV was fighting and adapting, and the Nightmare Virus in his system would be eliminated shortly. The resulting data would then spread through the codebase overtime, inoculating the rest of Reploidkind just in case Gate decided to try something this mind-numbingly stupid again. (Alia’s words, not his, and said with considerably more force and with considerably more “fuck” involved.)
He even seemed to be less twitchy, almost smiling in his sleep. Was he at least free of whatever nightmare the virus left him in? God, if there was any silver lining, he hoped X would at least get a decent recharge now that it was over.
All that remained was for him to wake up.
Zero couldn’t help but wonder if X would want to at first. The world was in such bad shape – and as far as X knew, he was still in a world where he had to do it alone. What if the dream X was having was peaceful and he simply didn’t want to come back?
He sighed, leaning forward to fold his arms on the bed and tuck his head into them in the hopes nobody would catch his expressions. If there was a god - there probably wasn’t, at least not one that liked him much - X was going to wake up and smile like Zero hadn’t been gone 3 years. 3 years X had apparently spent completely miserably if Alia’s reports were anything to go on… and who was to say he deserved X waking up like no time passed at all?
The Nightmare wasn’t wrong, after all. He was a coward. His self repair didn’t need three damn years to complete, it’d taken all of six months before he was back in order! He’d hidden himself away for next to no reason because–
Because I was scared you were safer without me.
The thought pings his processor harshly enough that he has to freeze for a moment. That really was it, wasn’t it? He was a danger to X, maybe even to the world, as long as he stayed functioning X was never going to be safe–
A familiar touch on his head got him to raise it, meeting familiar green eyes staring at him for the first time in 3 years. In the nanoscope of .000001 seconds, every thought Zero had wiped clean in favor of relief at seeing those eyes he’d missed so much. Words dried in his mouth, wilting in his lungs– he needed to say something, anything!
Just– what could possibly get across what he was feeling? What was the most important thing to say first? How much he’d missed X? How much he regretted leaving him alone to deal with this, reassure him he wasn’t going to leave again?
Rather anticlimactically, the only thing his lungs would let him have was a mildly choked up hi, buddy before X threw his arms around him with a shout of his name and a Lifesaver scolding at him for tugging the cords he was hooked up to. X paid it no mind, curling closer as Zero squeezed him like he was scared X would vanish somewhere.
“You’re back,” X whispered.
“I’m home,” Zero replied, nearly silenced by the kiss that followed.
Answers, blame, the future– all of it could wait for later. It would wait for later, when Zero had time to think and time to make a decision that hopefully wouldn’t hurt X more than he already had. But in this immediate moment, the person he loved was safe and in his arms again, and that was infinitely more worth his attention.
Between kisses, Zero would wonder how X managed it.
I guess maybe you’re more suited to leading while I’m more suited to commanding?