Chapter Text
Lan Wangji is a precious omega. Eyes like gold, pale and smooth skin, and with an exquisite aroma of sandalwood. No one could ignore it, anyone who saw him would be entranced by him. That's why Wei Wuxian couldn't ignore him as he walked through the streets of YiLing.
His alpha instinct asked him to see him, it had been months since they last spoke, he needed him.
He runs through all the people that are crowded in the street. He smiles seeing that Lan Zhan can't go on his way as a young beta keeps insisting that he buys vegetables from him. Seeing the omega's poor attempts to get rid of the beta, Wei Wuxian laughs and yells "Lan Zhan".
The representative white robes of the Lan clan flutter and Wei Wuxian is finally able to admire the precious face of the omega.
I love him. He bites his lip before letting out those two words.
"I finally found you!" Wei Wuxian greets him and takes the omega's hand. "We must hurry up and go home!"
The omega doesn't even have time to digest the sudden encounter he has had with the alpha when he is taken by the hand and led away somewhere.
He hears a soft curse from the young man but doesn't turn around, he wouldn't be able to do it because all of his attention is on Wei Ying and how his warm hand takes his.
Lan Wangji has thousands of feelings packed inside him, thousands of unanswered questions.
Why did you walk away from everyone?
Why do you keep using demonic cultivation?
Why don't you go back to Gusu with me?
No sound comes from his lips. Even though he wants to talk he can't, he wishes that Wei Ying could understand him just like his brother does.
Wei Ying smiles at him, still holding his hand, and leads him through the crowd. He buys sweets for the both of them and they both start talking, actually, Wei Ying does, Lan Wangji just answers the questions Wei Ying asks.
Right now, they might seem like a couple going on a date. Maybe people think that they are fiances, or even husbands. Lan Wangji deceives himself and it's painful. He knows that at the end of the day he will have to return to Gusu and Wei Ying too with the Wens. He holds onto Wei Ying's hand harder, hoping that Wei Ying will know how he feels for him.
'Do not leave me'
'Come back with me'
'Love you'
He had to bite his lip before letting out those two last words. It is painful to be so close to the alpha and not be able to do anything. Lan Wangji wants to protect Wei Ying from everyone, take care of him and keep him happy so that his beautiful smile would never be erased again.
The sun begins to go down and he knows that he has no more time. They both have places to return to. Wei Ying looks at him with those beautiful gray eyes and he holds back his tears. His heart aches because he doesn't want to let him go, not now, not ever. He is accompanying Wei Ying to the foothills of the Burial Mounds, despite his protests, Lan Wangji continued to walk beside him. The trip would have taken just a few minutes if they had both decided to use their swords. It was strange for him, but not new, to hear Wei Ying saying he wanted to walk. In any discussion conference Wei Ying would refuse to use his sword, and apparently that hadn't changed.
Lan Wangji still remembers that a couple of years ago Wei Ying would always be bragging about his sword skills but now all of it had vanished, as if the memory of that promising young man was now just that, a memory. He wanted to ask Wei Ying why he has stopped using his sword, but of course, he knew that this question would only start an argument between them.
The wind blows, their robes flutter, and to Lan Wangji, Wei Ying's thinness is much more noticeable.
Lan Wangji had noticed it, the paleness of Wei Ying's body, the way his cheekbones and hands had thinned. But it was much worse than he thought.
Wei Ying was so thin that Lan Wangji believed that at any moment Wei Wuxian would break.
How? Why?
It was hard to want to know and not be able to ask.
Maybe he should have made Wei Ying feed properly at Yinling. He sighs and clenches his fist until it's white. His thoughts are interrupted when he feels something wet hitting his forehead.
It is raining.
The rain is just beginning, hopefully he can make it to an inn before the rain starts getting heavier.
However, Wei Ying smiles at him and says "Today there will be a banquet, apparently it was some kind of surprise but-" Wei Wuxian scratches the back of his head while playing with Chenqing "Do you want to come? I'm sure everyone will be glad to have you there and besides…!” Wei Wuxian stops abruptly, the excited voice he had soon stops and Lan Wangji can say that he hates the expression he's making. "But you have to go back, right? Better forget what I said then!"
"I'll go," Lan Wangji says so quickly that they are both surprised.
"You don't have to go if you don't want to."
"I'll go," Lan Wangji says again. Wei Ying's expression changes and says a "Let's go".
The dry and sad trees surround the place, the resentful energy is everywhere. Lan Wangji finds incredible the fact that there are people living in here, that Wei Ying, in the state that he is, can still keep everything in order.
Small houses are built near the planting spaces. The poor radishes look sad and almost withered but still there are elder women taking them from the ground.
Elders. This thought repeats itself over and over in his mind.
"Jin Guangyao said that there were strong cultivators here" The words come out without his permission. He is shocked and couldn't hide that fact.
The Jin had not stopped to say over and over again how tyrannical Wei Ying was towards his cultivators, of the thousands of plans Wei Ying was formulating in the Burial Mounds together with the Wen cultivators and his hundreds of followers.
But none of that was true, Wei Ying didn't have enough strength to use his sword , there wasn't a single cultivator around, and obviously there weren't 'hundreds' of followers by his side.
"Uncle three is the only cultivator apart from me and Wen Qing, but he's already over sixty years old." Wei Wuxian doesn't seem to care much what the cultivation world thinks of him but Lan Wangji, he...
“They think you plan to rebel against the other sects,” Lan Wangji says bitterly. He remembers the last meeting that was held in Koi Tower and how everyone wanted to destroy the Burial Mounds if that happened, of torturing and killing every Wen, and Wei Ying.
How is it that Jin Guangyao was able to sustain all of that and increase even more all the hate towards Wei Ying?
What had he done but save innocent people?
"They can think what they want" Wei Wuxian says, without apparent concern "I'll be waiting for them" A smile appears on the alpha's face which makes Lan Wangji tremble.
Lan Wangji feels his omega rumble in his chest.
Take care of him, protect him, pamper him– It's all Lan Wangji wants to do... If only he were more sincere, if only he were more brave he could say those words.
'I love you, let me stay by your side'
“Come on, come on, I can't leave my guest out here, it's going to rain harder soon!” Wei Wuxian changes his expression and pulls one of his hands, leading him towards a cave.
The cave is large and dark, and therefore quite cold. There are thousands of scrolls and talismans scattered on the floor, and there are even ink stains on the walls.
“Damn it!” Wei Wuxian rushes to pick up some of the things that are lying around.
Lan Wangji is amused by the way Wei Ying tries to hide his dirty clothes behind some rocks. The omega cares little what the place where Wei Ying lives looks like, in fact, he is entranced by the place. He tries to ignore how much he likes being surrounded by Wei Ying's alpha scent, how much he wants to go to Wei Ying's bed and lie there. Every day, for the rest of his life if possible.
"I'll go get some tea, okay?"
Lan Wangji nods. The omega finds himself in a difficult situation, the omega part of him asks –demands– him to go to the place where Wei Ying's scent is concentrated and mix his own there too. He is sure that both scents will create a magnificent harmony. Maybe Wei Ying will tell him how wonderful he smells, kiss him, and won't let him out of there until the smell of both of them is totally impregnated.
He stops himself. He was about to, really, but the rational part of him tells him that Wei Ying will not be comfortable with it.
He doesn't love me like I do.
Hopefully, Wei Wuxian considers Lan Wangji as a friend, someone to trust but definitely not as a lover.
That title would be given to a beautiful omega, one who will stay by Wei Ying's side all his life and who would make him very, very happy. And Lan Wangji will be just his friend, one he sees from time to time, hopefully Wei Wuxian will deem him worthy to know what's going on with his life. Wei Wuxian will talk to him about how happy he is with his wife and his children, some just as cute and perfect as he is. Lan Wangji will be fine with that, as long as Wei Ying is happy, Lan Wangji will be able to continue living, even if it's not with him. Just knowing that Wei Ying is happy, he would be too.
All those thoughts stop the moment Wei Ying arrives and sets down the teacups. Wei Wuxian moves with a delicacy never seen before, it seemed that he was taking his role as a host seriously.
“Is it good?” Wei Wuxian asks after seeing that Lan Wangji has taken the first sip. Lan Wangji nods and Wei Wuxian smiles.
"I'm glad you like it! You know, we don't have too many good things, and you're used to much more expensive stuff, I thought you'd throw it up after the first sip".
Wei Wuxian laughs nervously, and Lan Wangji squeezes the cup tighter between his fingers. Wei Wuxian couldn't afford things as basic as these? What other things was he depriving himself of? Lan Wangji had the desire to take his bag of money and give it to Wei Ying but he's sure Wei Ying won't accept anything. Lan Wangji hates this, he hates seeing Wei Ying suffer.
"So, anything new to tell, Lan Zhan?Anything new and interesting that has happened to you?" Wei Wuxian, oblivious to everything that was haunting the omega's mind, asks.
Lan Wangji erases any ideas that he had had in his mind and thinks of something, but he doesn't find anything of great interest. The cloud recess are still just as dull and insipid as the day before.
"Perhaps a suitor? I'm sure you have many young masters behind you!" Wei Wuxian tells him, after not hearing any response for a few minutes.
Of course, Wei Wuxian was playing around, he really never thought that Lan Wangji would slowly nod. It took him a few seconds to compose himself... he never would have thought that would be the case.
"It's not official yet" Lan Wangji tells him, the omega carefully thinks about the words he will say next "Uncle and Su She have started the marriage negotiations but nothing is clear yet"
Lan Wangji sees Wei Wuxian squeeze the cup between his hands, he can almost see that small cracks have started to form.
What's that?
"Su she?" Wei Wuxian says to the air and it seems that he is pondering something important "That alpha that I saved years ago?" Wei Wuxian can't control his astonishment and his disbelief.
Had he somehow saved the alpha who would take the omega he loved?
"Are you okay with that?" Wei Wuxian asks. Lan Wanji shifts uncomfortably at the question.
'No I'm not, I just want to marry you'
And as much as he wants to, as much as his heart tells him to do it, he doesn't say it. "I have to if they ask me to."
And it is that Lan Wangji had received more opportunities than an ordinary omega ever imagined. Every omega born into or out of some prestigious sect was only waiting for one thing; the arrival of an alpha to serve all their life. But he, somehow, was allowed much more, that's why his name was known in almost the whole world. He, Lan Wangji, was the only omega who had been allowed to form his own golden core, receive a quality education, and participate in meetings that only concerned alphas.
“I didn't ask that, Lan Zhan!" Wei Wuxian looks extremely angry, annoyed. "Are you really okay with that? He could become your husband! Do you even like him? Is he good to you?"
Lan Wangji can't even tolerate being in the same room as that alpha, of course he didn't want to get married and live his whole life chained to him. Marry him, sleep next to him, let him touch him, and have his children? No, of course he didn't want it and he hated the idea, he disowned it.
But what else could he do? He knows the losses the war brought with it, he knows the sacrifices everyone had made... he would be too selfish if he didn't do the same.
“It doesn't matter if I don't like him, Wei Ying, I'm an omega"
"And what does it matter if you're an omega? Does that give them the right to do whatever they want with your life? It's not like that, Lan Zhan!"
Lan Wangji is not at all surprised by that reaction. Wei Ying has always been the easygoing and kind type of alpha with everyone. It is for this reason that he had omegas, betas and alphas friends, he has never judged them based on their secondary gender, and that is why they sought him out. They just felt comfortable around him.
“Brother has tried to convince the Sect elders to stop it but they insist on having connections to another sect"
Or rather, control another sect. The elders of the Lan Sect were too greedy, even if it was against their own rules.
Lan Wangji still remembers the pleas his brother had made to the elders of his Sect, and even more, the sad and embarrassed look he gave him after each meeting.
'I can't do anything' he had told him. And Lan Wangji couldn't blame him, he knew, his brother had tried but things just didn't go the way they wanted. His brother, so understanding and loving, did not seek other than his happiness, and Lan Wangji was grateful to have a brother like him. He couldn't ask for anyone else.
“It won't end well, Lan Zhan, I have seen it.
Wei Wuxian had loving and understanding parents, quite the opposite of those who later became his adoptive parents. Fights and misunderstandings were a daily occurrence in the Jiang Sect, no matter what, there would always be shouting between Madam Yu and Jiang Fenmiang. Those only ended with the death of both, otherwise, he is sure that it would have continued.
Lan Wangji nods, certain of Wei Ying's words, he also hadn't had the most ideal parents after all.
They both shift uncomfortably in their seats. The sound of the rain intensifies, the weather is much colder, a cold that even penetrated their bones.
Lan Wangji doesn't know what to say, the silence between them is heavy. Wei Ying's the one with a thousand of things to talk about but now he just... has a frown on his face and a sour scent around him.
Was he pissed off? Concerned?
Lan Wangji wishes he was just like his brother; to be able to understand the feelings of others and say the right words at the right time.
"Lan Zhan"
"Wei Ying"
They both fall silent again. Wei Wuxian smiles, before anyone is able to say anything they hear someone approaching. It's Wen Qing, she is frowning, she looks at Lan Wangji for a few seconds before turning her gaze to Wei Wuxian and say that everything is ready.
Lan Wangji did not expect her to give him a warm smile and kind greeting, but that look simply told him one thing.
'You're not welcome'
He would also act that way if he saw a member of one of the Sects that had done so much damage to him and his family. But, there was something there, something else, but he couldn't figure it out.
Wei Wuxian guided him to the place where everything was going to take place. It was a small cave, similar to the place where Wei Ying slept, however, it was full of elder people, who laughed and joked with each other.
“Hey, who is this handsome young man?” one of the many elders asks, with a tinge of amusement in his words.
“Come Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying calls out to him and guides him through the crowd. Lan Wangji greets them with a slight bow as he walks past them all. The elders keep asking questions but Wei Ying politely dodges them.
They both sit down and before either of them says anything, an old woman makes her way between the two, placing several dishes in front of them. "So? What's the name of your beautiful friend?"
"Well, well! I know everyone is excited to see a new face" Wei Wuxian stands up and waves both hands in a weird way before pointing at Lan Wangji. “This is Lan Wangji, Han GuangJun, the beautiful Jade of GusuLan!
Lan Wangji slouches slightly in his place. He has heard many people, for many years of his life, praise him, but hearing it from Wei Ying was different, it made him feel special. At least for a few moments he allows himself to enjoy this, he knows that Wei Ying says that because he is like this with anyone, he is not special in any way.
And he confirms his thought when Wei Ying introduces him as 'an old classmate', not a colleague, much less a friend. It seemed that he was not even worthy of that title.
He feels a pain in his chest that he has felt for the last few years and to which he has begun to get used to. Falling in love with Wei Ying was something he never planned on. At first, it was hard to notice his feelings, he had never experienced so many new sensations, so many changes in him, but when he did, it was too late, Wei Ying had left and taken his sweet smile and bright presence with him.
His absence was painful, but his rejection is even worse.
Lan Wangji hates himself for continuing to have hope, he already knows, Wei Ying doesn't consider him his friend and will never consider him as anything else.
He knows but why is it always painful? Why can't he help but love him more and more? Either way, it will all be over once he leaves this place, Wei Ying will go his way and he will his. This time will be the end of everything they ever had.
The dinner continues, the old woman who had previously brought them food returns to bring more and more dishes. She asks him to taste her food and he nods, not so sure to do so, he has already seen that they lack very basic things, how could he take her food knowing that they need it more? He will go home after this dinner and he will eat whatever he wants, and even if he doesn't, he can afford to go to a restaurant and order whatever he wants. However, the sweet look on her face makes him pick up a pair of chopsticks and take the first bite.
She gives a small cry when she hears that her food was delicious. Everyone laughs at this but he is soon surrounded by more food. The elders ask him to try everything they have prepared. He is overwhelmed. Wei Ying's laugh echoes through the room so he turns to look at him.
“Lan Zhan, you should learn to say no! Thats why you always end up surrounded by sellers and buying everything they offer you!" Wei Ying waves his hand, gesturing for the others to stop crowding around him. "Lan Zhan, in Gusu they still have the rule of not eating more than three bowls?" Wei Ying asks, staring at him. Wei Ying sighs seeing him nod. "You see ? Even if the food was delicious, Lan Zhan would still not be able to eat all of it.
"How is that possible?"
"Only three bowls?"
“Is the Gusu Lan Sect bankrupt?"
Questions and more questions are asked, but seeing that the food gets cold, everyone returns to their places enjoying their feast.
"How do you plan to have a baby with such a thin body?"
Ba...baby? Lan Wangji nearly choked on the food.
"It will be bad for you and your children! To have healthy children you have to eat properly!"
"Children" Wei Ying next to him whispers, in a quick movement he begins to drink the alcohol they had previously given him.
The sweet lady says goodbye and goes with the others. In the distance, Lan Wangji sees Wen Qing watching him, attentive to any movement he makes.
The hours pass and with them, the rain goes away. That is a signal for Lan Wangji to take his sword and return to Gusu. He knows that his uncle will be angry, furious. Surely, after being interrogated he will receive a suitable punishment for having broken various rules. He can only resign himself, not that he regrets seeing Wei Ying one last time.
But, there is only something that stops him from leaving.
Wei Wuxian continues to drink alcohol, and somehow, he does not allow Lan Wangji to move from his place.
Grabbing the sleeves of his robe, Wei Wuxian takes another sip of the alcohol.
“Wei Ying, you should stop" Lan Wangji tries to take the jar from him but Wei Wuxian is faster, it doesn't take him more than a couple of seconds to drink the alcohol again.
"I, I can still drink," he says with difficulty. He is drunk, and it seems that he was about to fall asleep. Lan Wangji can't understand why Wei Ying would drink this much, yet he does nothing to stop him.
The last thing he wants to have is a fight with Wei Ying. He doesn't want to have a last fight as a memory.
"You should stop" Wen Qing's voice reaches their ears but Wei Wuxian is so drunk that he ignores what was said. Wen Qing frowns and is about to hit the alpha but Lan Wangji is faster.
"I'll take him to his room." As soon as he says that, he helps Wei Wuxian to his feet. They both start walking, and Lan Wangji decides that he will continue to ignore Wen Qing.
Between clumsy steps, somehow, they reach the cave. Wei Wuxian ends up crashing onto his bed, somehow trying to get his boots off but failing. He frowns and ends up lying back down, as if he doesn't mind sleeping in his robes and boots. Lan Wangji gets the impression that this happens very often, he sighs, and seeks to help Wei Ying.
He removes his boots and carefully places them on the ground, then, cheekbones red and dying of embarrassment, strips Wei Ying of his robes, leaving him in only his inner robe.
Lan Wangji is able to see how thin Wei Ying is, how his bones stand out, and how pale his body is. The omega reaches out and caresses the alpha's cheekbones which are pale and emaciated, quite the opposite of what Wei Ying's round, reddish cheekbones once were.
“Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian whispers weakly.
Lan Wangji has the desire to hug Wei Ying against his chest, to take him somewhere and hide him there; protect him and take care of him so that no one else can hurt him, not even himself.
He wants to freeze time, stay like this, with him.
The arrival of someone makes him turn around, for a few moments he thought it was Wen Qing but it was just the sweet old lady who had previously offered him food.
"It's too late for you to leave," she says, moving around the place starting to prepare a place for Lan Wangji to sleep. The omega just watches her without saying anything, he can't deny that he wants to extend his stay here. Sleeping near Wei Ying and seeing his face one last time in the morning would be great.
"It's ready" She smiles at him and Lan Wangji thanks her deeply. "Look for me if you need anything." Before leaving, she turns and smiles at him again.
Lan Wangji is left alone, again. He sees how Wei Ying frowns and mutters something in his sleep, he bundles him up again before going to the place that was prepared for him.
Minutes and hours pass, and Lan Wangji must say that he hasn't been able to sleep at all. Wei Ying's smell is too good, it envelops him and tempts him; Lan Wangji feels that he might fall into temptation. However, a loud yell from Wei Ying distracts him.
It's... it's frightening the way Wei Ying screams and squirms in his place. With his own hands he pulls the strands of his hair so hard that Lan Wangji has to run quickly and grab his hands. It was difficult at first, Wei Ying was driving him away with his scent and refusing to receive his touch.
"It was me, I killed them!" He screams so loud that Lan Wangji thinks the alpha will have no voice the next day.
“Wei Ying, wake up!” Lan Wangji doesn't dare let go of Wei Wuxian's hands, he doesn't want him to harm himself any more.
"It was all my fault!" Wei Wuxian moves frantically, desperately seeking to harm himself, as if he wanted to punish himself for what he believes was his mistake. Lan Wangji's throat closes, hadn't Wei Ying paid enough?
He wasn't aware of his own moves, yet he didn't regret it. Lan Wangji enveloped the alpha in a warm embrace, he was still moving and seeking to flee from that warmth but his own Sandalwood scent began to do its job.
Marking an alpha, being a single omega, was one of the worst things he could do. An omega could only use his scent on his alpha and babies, doing so on any alpha outside of his family was considered the worst of sins.
However, in this kind of situation, what could be the best? He couldn't just stand there and watch Wei Ying hurt himself.
Lan Wangji finally feels that Wei Ying is reacting, he widens his eyes in surprise and lifts his face to stare at him.
"Lan Zhan...?" He asks, his voice cracking. Lan Wangji nods, he would have replied with his typical "Mn" but he couldn't, his voice would have cracked if he did.
Wei Ying's body trembles and he leans back against his chest; smelling his own scent. "It's a dream," he assumes. “Lan Zhan hates physical touch" He murmurs.
Wei Ying relaxes and after some time he begins to doze off.
Lan Wangji is in a strange position, he should just lay Wei Ying down on his bed and let him rest but he finds himself unable to do so. If he leaves him there, will the nightmares come back? Will Wei Ying hurt himself again?
"You've calmed him down pretty quickly." Wen Qing's voice reached his ears quickly. “Normally we have to use sedatives.
Lan Wangji freezes for a few moments.
"It happens twice a week, if we're lucky," the beta woman tells him, predicting his next question.
Is this the reason Wei Ying has dark circles under his eyes? Because of his nightmares?
Wei Ying stirs slightly, Lan Wangji hands gliding over the alpha's thin face, outlining those dark circles and marked bones. A maelstrom of emotions hit him, there are so many things to digest, so many new emotions for him to deal with but there is only one clear thing on his mind.
"Don't do it" Wen Qing says and looks at him, as if threatening him. "You shouldn't mark him, you will leave in the morning and he will remain here, you will only make it more difficult."
Lan Wangji believed that Wen Qing hated him for some reason, but against everything he was able to realize something; she only wanted Wei Ying's well-being, she wanted to protect him, just like if Wei Ying was her little brother.
The omega knew that light in Wen Qing's eyes, it was the same light that his brother Xichen had when he is worried about him.
Lan Wangji still remembers the feeling that his brother's warm hand left when he patted his head and said "Take care of yourself", followed by a smile.
Would his brother be furious if after a few days he didn't hear of his arrival?
"I'll stay," he says after a long silence. Wen Qing sighs heavily, turning around and muttering under her breath "I'll never be able to understand omegas."
Lan Wangji had always believed that to protect Wei Ying the best thing he could do was to take him and hide him from the world, however, now he realizes that this was a mistake, an innocent thought. Would Wei Ying, a free and pure soul, leave the Wens behind just to stay safe? Wei Ying was too good, no matter if his life was at stake, he would go and protect what he believed was right. That's why, with his heart beating a thousand miles an hour, sure and without a hint of doubt, Lan Wangji decides to send a message to his brother.
Gusu Lan will become a mess for the next few days upon hearing that the second jade will not return.