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The hardest thing Joshua Hong ever had to do in his life was…to pretend.
He would think he’s not that great of an actor but apparently to save his face and your friendship he could play the role of an ultimate best friend. Of course it wasn’t all pretend. You really were friends, best friends. You’ve met when both of you were still ten, becoming neighbours when you and your mom moved next door to the apartment he and his mother lived in.
It was easy. Really easy.
You bonded fast: both lacking a father in your lives, both loving music and sunny weather and the list could go on and on.
He taught you to ride a bike, taught you your first guitar chords and later to surf. Though you still were rusty on the board. Something Joshua believed would never go away, your balance was just off.
You stuck together through this and thin. Through the tough times of your parents fighting for custody over you, through his puberty, through your puberty, through school bullying. Everything.
And when your body started really developing and his hormones were all but having a celebration of youth, it was then that Joshua realised how hard it is to be just your friend. Simply because he just wanted you so bad. So bad it actually hurt him. Well hurt his dick.
The time went by but the feeling stayed.
It took months to realise that wanting your body essentially came from loving your heart and your soul.
Was it a shock? That he was in love with you. Probably not. It was rather natural if he really thought about it.
But Joshua was weak that way. You’ve never said or done or implied that you were interested in him that way so he kept it to himself.
Them came Pledis and training and the move to Korea and subsequently came Seventeen.
You were always in contact. Always.
I miss you a lot Shua You would text out of the blue and he would know it was a bad day for you. But if he asked about it, you’d just say everything’s fine and will instead focus on how his way to stardom is going.
Their first win with their first song: first thing Joshua does is call you. Because you’re really happy for him, it’s not a front you’re putting. You are his biggest fan, biggest support.
His members ask about you a lot because he spends too much time on his phone with you. He just says you are his best friend and a part of it for sure is true.
It all comes down to video calls with Jeonghan and Mingyu breathing down his neck so that he’d introduce them and a group chat later.
“I don’t believe you Hyung.” Soonyoung huffs one day when Joshua has just finished his conversation with you and is now poking his head in the fridge to see what he could snack on.
“Ah?”
“You can’t be just friends with her.” The younger man shakes his head no.
“What are you talking about?” Joshua sighs, taking a strawberry milk out of the fridge.
“Just saying. You can’t be that much together and not be together.”
“You’re nuts.” He chuckles in reply and turns to Jun who’s occupying the chair next to Hoshi. “Back me up.”
“Nuh sorry hyung, he’s right.” Jun shrugs, sending a piece of ttokpokki into his mouth. “No one spends so much time with only his friend if they are of different sex.”
“Traitor.” Joshua barks.
Jun smirks.
“What I don’t get is why. Either you don’t understand you have a huge crush on her or…you do and, you know, you are suffering alone, crying in your pillow at night.” Hoshi bites on his apple dramatically.
“Do you want to loose your teeth?” Joshua offers.
“Snapping. A clear sign I’m right.” Soonyoung winks.
“You are but leave him be.” Jun cuts in. “I mean unless you want to keep your smile intact.”
“Listen to your hyungs.” Joshua advices.
“Joykill.” The younger man mutters, munching on his apple.
Of course Soonyoung is right, not that Joshua would ever admit it.
He just got used to that crush. He had girls, he knows you had boyfriends. You were in your mid twenties, it’s not like it was possible or desirable to stay saints.
So the crush or whatever warm feeling he got every time he saw you on the screen of his phone or your name on the incoming massage, well why not? He’s learned to just enjoy those boosts of happiness.
What was really throwing him off was the fact that lately, last couple weeks, you were constantly talking to and texting Jeonghan. Jeonghan! His evil twin. The two of them were like each other’s shadows. Joshua can readily admit that Jeonghan of all members was closest to him, they had this invisible bond of understanding: Jeonghan even with his knack for cheating everything and everyone and every time was always there for the members while when he himself needed help he would seek out Joshua.
So why why why? If you had to get closer to someone why would it have to be Jeonghan?!
Was Joshua getting more and more annoyed by it? Yes.
Did he spend too much time in the gym to sublimate that anger? Again, yes.
Did he snap at Jeonghan? No…he would not. Because Joshua and you are friends. You are not his girlfriend. He has to remind himself that a lot more than usually necessary these days.
All these thoughts come to an end when one May morning he’s woken up by a feather like touch on his brow.
“Wake up, sleepy head.” The voice is filled with honey notes and he nuzzles into the soft hand that caresses his cheek.
“Shua.”
Shua
As soon as his cloudy sleep-induced mind catches to the voice and the nickname he all but jumps from his position, eyes wide and hair a mess.
You grin.
He calls your name. Touches your hands. Is he still sleeping?
“Is it…really you?” He whispers into your shoulder, hugging you so close, fearing he might break you but still wanting to be closer.
“It is.” You hug back just as tight, hand flat on his back.
“Why? How are you here?” His hands on your shoulders softly pushing you back, so that he can see your face.
“Surprise.” You smile. “I quit work and decided to take a vacation.”
He knows you were not happy with the position had at the communications office of the radio station you were working at.
“How…you haven’t told me anything…”
You glide your hand over his, calming him down. “I wanted it to be a surprise. Jeonghan helped me. Otherwise I don’t think it would be able to get in here.”
Ohhh Jeonhan helped you. That’s why you were…. And obviously Jeonghan would love to do something like that!
“Aren’t you happy I’m here?…”
He realises he was just staring at you all this time. So he tugs you to him again. “I’m so happy. You have no idea.”
“GUYS!” It’s Mingyu’s voice from behind the closed door. “Are you about done with the surprise and all?! We really want in on all the action.”
You chuckle, Joshua just sighs but all in good humour.
Is it pathetic that he doesn’t leave your side? Almost at all.
And when he’s not right beside you, you’re in the line of his vision.
“You look like a stalker.” Minghao huffs from beside him.
“No idea what you’re taking about.” He mouthes, taking a sip from his whisky.
“Really? Okey. Be a stalker. But that’s creepy.”
“Hao stop.”
“No really. Just tell her you’re head over heels for her, wanna have kids with her face and have been in love for as long as you remember. Otherwise you’re being too pathetic.” The younger man shrugs.
“Excuse me?”
“You’re excused.”
Before Jushua can do or say anything else the other member is all but gone and he’s left watching you on the couch with Sookmin and Chan on each side of yours, laughing about something the youngest member is showing you on his phone.
He is rather pathetic, isn’t it?
The party Jeonghan and Mingyu have planned is in full force.
Soonyoung got you in the middle of the room dancing, Dino and all the maknaes join pretty soon.
He’s glad you’re having fun. Too much fun apparently because you look a bit too intoxicated.
An hour later you’re practically a koala hanging from his body when he enters his room.
“I think I overdid it…a little.” You mumble with a grin, words slurred.
“Just a bit.” He nods, helping you stand on your feet.
“Okey, let me…” He doesn’t get to finish what he’s saying when you all but fall back and on his bed, tugging him with you by the hand.
Joshua lands right on top of you, thankfully extending his hands so that he doesn’t crush you completely.
You giggle (fucking giggle! He’s in hell and you fucking giggling) looking up at him, eyes dazed and eyelids falling.
“You’re really cute, Shua…” You whisper, one hand on his bicep and such a far away look in your eyes.
He can’t help staring into your eyes, then his gaze travels down to your plump lips, the column of your neck and then quickly back to your eyes.
“I wish we could stay like this…”
You obviously have no idea what you’re doing to him.
You’re talking about how you miss him, how you miss your friend, and his dick twitches, interpreting it oh so differently. And his heart is racing so fast he might just get a heart attack.
“Let me get you a glass of water, sweetheart…” He whispers because this is the loudest he can afford right now without giving away how dry his voice has gotten.
Your lips form a pout but you let go of him reluctantly.
In the kitchen he sees the last soldiers that remained: Jun and Jihoon, while Soonyoung is sleeping with his head on the table. The two acknowledge him but otherwise continue on their conversation while he get two bottles of water and heads back to his room.
Joshua has to take a deep breath at the door before entering, dragging the air through his lungs and out.
Inside, you sound asleep in his bed, on one of his pillows. It’s everything he’s ever dreamed about, just not you out from alcohol but you wanting to be in his bed, intend to take everything he so desires to give you…
Joshua places the glass on the nightstand and sends a hand through his unruly hair and down his face with a sigh before moving closer to put a comforter over your form.
The fabric isn’t to heavy, you shouldn’t be to hot or cold. He places it over you before his fingers move to tuck a stray hair out of your face. But before he can retreat and head downstairs to break his back on the couch your hand catches his, graceful fingers wrapping around his wrist.
“Shua.” You murmur, his senses alert.
He crouches down next to the bed, his hand still in yours. “Hmm?”
“Stay.” Another murmur and you tug on his hand.
Should he? It’s not like you’re offering anything other than just sleep in one bed. And you obviously know who you’re asking to stay, you called his name. And if he’s honest the thing he wants the most other then just jump into the bed with you and at least spend the night sharing the same mattress is not go downstairs to that awful couch.
So he obliges, taking the watch and bracelets off, storing them near the glass of water he’d brought, and getting into the sheets next to you. You instantly roll a little to accommodate him and when he’s settled, one of your hands find its way to his chest, head lolling to his shoulder and you sigh contentedly.
Joshua on the other hand feels like he might combust. Thankfully he’s rather tired as well. So he everything aside and decides to enjoy what he can get because being here, wrapped in an embrace with you, is more than he could think about a week ago. So he closes his eyes and hopes the night lasts longer then it usually does.
“Josh…” He wakes up from a whisper in his ear and the heat all over him.
“Wha…” He’s disoriented before his sleepy mind registries that he’s basically hoarding you, almost the whole weight of his body on top of yours, and he’s quick to push himself up on his elbows. “Shit I’m so sorry…”
“No it’s fine,” you smile up at him so sweetly, seemingly already sobered up. It’s still dark so he thinks it’s been what a couple hours since he fell asleep. “I’m just too hot in this hoody.”
He just keeps looking down at you, sees your lips moving but doesn’t have it in him to send the words for interpretation to his brain.
Your lips part as if waiting for his reply but he’s fucking slow because he’s just bombard with the position the two of you are in.
“Shua? Can you move for a moment? I want to take the hoody off.” You say slowly as if talking to a retard. “Too. Hot.”
He gulps before pulling away from you. “Yeah…it’s rather hot.”
You offer a small smile (….a smirk?) before pushing yourself to a sitting position. Your hands snake down to the hem of your hoody and drag it up.
You probably want him to have a stoke…. He knows you do. Otherwise why would you do this?! He honestly thought you had a t-shirt or something underneath the garment. But no…no….it’s the sports bra. And thank god it’s a sports one. Otherwise he’d already be dead by now.
He gulps down.
“You should take the shirt off too if you’re hot.” You say, sending the hoody crumbling on the floor.
He clears his throat.
should he?
Well it does seem overheated here.
So he hooks his fingers in the collar of his t-shirt on the back of his neck and drags it up over his head.
When he’s done, you’re already back to your place on his bed looking at him expectantly and he doesn’t miss, even in the dark of the room, how your eyes glide over his physique. He know this stare because he’s looking at you the same way.
“You coming back to bed?” You ask when he’s once again frozen in his thoughts and your voice is lower, like velvet.
So like a cobra charmed he obediently lies down next to you. You push yourself closer to him, take his hand and send it over your head and shoulders so that you can put your head on his bicep comfortably, hand coming over his now bare chest.
“…this okey?” You whisper.
He nods. Because of course it is. MORE than just okey. He wants this every night: to fall asleep with you like this and more.
And now that your breaths land on his bare chest sleep is the last thing on his mind. Sighing Joshua has to close his eyes and pray for sleep.
I doesn’t come. He uses one leg to kick the covers off half of his body, one hand going to his face as he tries unsuccessfully to calm his body.
“You’ve been doing everything these past ten minutes.” You finally say, opening your eyes and looking up at him.
“Woke you up?” He doesn’t look at you finding the ceiling very interesting.
“It was hard to fall asleep with your tossing.” You huff a laugh.
“Sorry. I’ll try…”
“Shua are you bothered I’m here?”
yes. “No.”
“I can go sleep on the couch…”
“No, don’t! It’s not that…I…I just haven’t slept with anyone for a long time…” He admits with a sigh.
You bite on your lower lip trying to hold the laughter in.
“No! Wait! Not what I meant. Like sleep-sleep, not sleep sleep. Like sleep in one bed sleep.” Can an assassin just show up randomly and kill him?
“I got that.” You finally take mercy on him thankfully but he doesn’t really feel much better.
Then you start moving away from him. “What are you doing?”
“Well I thought maybe if I’m on the other side of the bed it will help.”
This time his body reacts before his brain can even attempt a thought, hand grabbing yours as he jerks your body back but doesn’t give a thought that your weight and the strength of his pull will result in what it does.
Your bodies collide with a dull thud and you land with your back on the bed, him back on top of you. Faces only inches apart.
It’s a long moment of silence, charged with desperation and uncertainty. But he doesn’t move. And nighter do you.
“I need to know if you’re acting like this because of me or because there’s just a woman in your bed.” You say, voice breathy.
“You’re never just a woman.” He coaxes.
“Good. Because you could never be just a man for me.”
Somehow he knows it’s now or never. So when Joshua lowers his head and catches your lips you’re all ready for him: open and pliant and tasting of salvation. Your hands are quick to make their way around his neck while his travel down your body to your ribs and waist, bringing you closer. He wonders how much restraint he has.
You moan sinfully into his mouth and his restraint breaks.
Joshua’s insides are on fire. Everything around him is burning and he know it’s you, make make him burn.
“Fuck…” Falls from his lips when one of his hands travel under the hem of your sports bra, feeling the tender skin of your breast.
The sounds you’re making are driving him crazy, make him bite down harshly on your neck, leaving a mark, a brand of his teeth on your skin. You hiss but his head is simply busy with making sure everyone knows you’re his. If he could think straight he’d realise you are actually not, his that is, not yet or not at all because what’s happening right now it’s out of passion and you two really have to talk about all of this - but he does not process the ability to think straight at the moment so he does what he’s do if you really were truly his.
“Joshua…ah…”
“Say it again.” He groans when you tug on his hair.
“Wha…”
“Keep calling my name.”
You do and rips the bra off.
“I…liked that one.” You look up ay him a little wide-eyed.
“I’ll buy you a new one.” He promises. “I’ll buy you everything you want.”
Suddenly the time slows down and it downs seemingly on both of you that you are friends first.
You huff a laugh, shyly. And for a moment Joshua is afraid that that’s it but one of your hand reach for his face, tracing his cheek lovingly as you smile at him, eyes soft.
His heart is so full. Simply because of the way your eyes stare at him. He leans down, kissing your lips softly, and your cheek before his head falls into the nape of your neck and he breathes you in. Deeply, wanting to remember how you smell, the way you breathe, has snaking around your body. Yours in turn embrace him, bodies so close, a feather wouldn’t be able to fit between you.
“I missed you.” You say into his hair and he doesn’t realise he’s crying. “I know how hard you’ve worked. I know how much you’ve done. I really wanted to be here for you during the times you’ve felt like you needed strength.”
Your hands are painting calming circles on his back.
How did it happened? How did the two of you go from the heated makeout session to him crying and you comforting him?
Joshua had no idea there was so much bunched up in him, so much in his head that would wound up in something like this…
“I missed you too.” He mumbles. “I miss you all the time. You’re the first one I— I want to tell things when they happen to me…”
One of your hands slides up to his head, softly going through his hair, nails scraping the scalp. It’s a one-eighty from how you pulled on his hair only moments before.
Joshua feels his breathing evening out and how your ministrations lull him to sleep even though he was wide wake only moments ago. But letting go of all the stress, his body gives way as well.
“Don’t leave.” He mutters into your skin.
“I won’t.” Is your whispered reply.
He groans from the light fighting its way through the curtains of his bedroom window.
“Shit.” Is the only response he has, remembering what happened last night.
He fucked up. Royally.
First he didn’t confess and just jumped you. And then he started crying only a minute before you were supposed to…
If there’s a definition of fuck up it has to be this.
Obviously that’s why you’re not here, not in his bed, not beside him. Probably went back to the hotel.
The shower is long and unhelpful and if it wasn’t for Seungkwan who’s kept banging on the door it would have lasted longer.
.
His hair wet and face down as Joshua comes down the stairs to the kitchen, the towel still over his shoulders.
“You don’t have to cook, just take a seat and relax!” Mingyu’s voice is what he hears when he’s just behind the corner.
“I like cooking.” You reply and there’s a clutter of the cutlery.
“Oh thank god.” Dino’s muttered pray is heard and someone is definitely laughing.
“Sorry, most of us are just lazy to cook besides Mingyu hyung.” It’s Vernon and his low rumble.
“Except for Hoshi hyung.” Dino offers.
“Ohh you don’t wanna try whatever he’ll cook for you, trust me.” Mingyu nods and repeats: “Just trust us on this.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.” But you shake your head with a smile.
“Oh Hyung you finally woke up!” The Maknae calls as soon as he sees Joshua.
The picture is really nice: you and Mingyu are at the kitchen counter slicing, mixing and stirring while the youngest members are at the table with their phones in hand but funny enough they are not using it, choosing to be a part of the conversation.
“Yah, hyung why do you look like you’ve been hit by a bus?” Mingyu wonders with a smirk.
You hit the giant man with your elbow, grinning: “Let him be, he’s not good at waking up early.”
“You haven’t seen Mingyu hyung waking up! He usually sleeps till 3 or 4 pm.” Dino supplies.
“You’re not eating today.” Comes Mingyu’s calm reply.
“Hyung! But hyung!….”
Everyone’s laughing except for Dino.
It’s a moment or two when you, giving him a questioning look, turn the stove off on your side, asking Mingyu if he can finish. After his nod, you move to where Joshua is still standing dumbfounded at the entrance to the kitchen.
“You okey?” You ask softly, coming to stand in front of him.
He just grabs your hand, tugging you upstairs with him to the sounds of whistling from the Maknae. Joshua makes a mental note to torture the youngest one a bit more than he’s used to.
When the two of you are back in his room you touch his shoulder, worried.
“Shua? What…are you alright…?”
“I thought you left.”
“What would I?”
“Because I was…I’m sorry…” He manages, one hand going over his face.
“It’s just me.”
“That’s the thing that it’s you!” His hands go up in a gesture of surrender. “Don’t you understand!? You over here all the time!” He points at his head and then at his heart. “And here. And when I’m with someone else, some other girl, I still think about you. And I compare everyone to you. I’ve been in love with you for so long that I…and now you’re here and I just…last night was such a disaster…”
He doesn’t dare to look you in the eyes. It’s a moment or two before your small hand take a hold of one of his.
“Okey, first of all, last night was not a disaster, I have no idea why you would think so.” You offer a smile and catch his eyes with yours. “I think if you’re able to freely cry in front of me….it means a lot. Now I’d like to address what you’ve said about being in love with me for so long…”
He laughs at your business tone and you grin, succeeding in making him smile.
“I left work, I’m starting an absolutely new chapter of my life and the first thing I do is fly across the world to spend time with you.”
At this he is silent.
“Are you stupid? I’ve been in love with you from the moment I knew what love was.” You admit and the brick wall falls down on him. “So would you please stop being so paranoid about fucking up last night? Both of us fucked up so many things already but I still love you.”
He steps closer to you, bodies almost glued together.
“Really?”
“Yes, Shua, I’m completely in love with you.”
His lips smash into yours with such vigour, your form staggers but his hands are already around you, steadying you, while your tongues fight for dominance. But this time it’s passionate and tender at the same time and there’s so much feeling in it, Joshua feels light-headed.
His hands slide down to your hips and you get the hint instantly, jumping and encircling your legs around him, while he’s holding you closer to himself. Your lips are attached and he hopes no one will burst in through his door since he hasn’t closed it.
He carries you to the bed and turns around to sit, you still cradled in his arms like he doesn’t want to let go even for a moment. You fidget slightly and his hisses.
“Don’t tease.” Joshua whispers into your neck.
“Who says I’m teasing.” You reply, catching his lips in a small peck. “I kinda hope you plan to fuck me right now.”
He growls.
“And if you it’s hardly teasing.”
His hands slide under the hem of your shirt, going flat on your back, feeling every bone of your spine cord while his lips are attached to your neck, sucking bruises and marks there.
You lean back for a second, raising your hands up, biting your lower lip before he yanks your shirt up, revealing your breasts. Joshua can’t stop staring. You tug on he own sleeveless shirt, helping him get rid of it.
He sucks your nipple in his mouth and you can only drop your head back in ecstasy, moaning his name, trying to grab at his muscled arms.
It knocks the breath out of you when he suddenly gets up, throws you on the bed only to cover your body with yours.
“Fuck…you’re so responsive.” His soft voice becomes rough, lips kissing sucking licking every part of you, one hand going under your flowy skirt. “Ah shit babe, you’re soaked…”
It’s a painful mask on his face while Joshua imagines what it would be like to sink into your flaming heat.
“All for you…” You whisper and he’s gone if he wasn’t before.
“Fuck fuck fuck. Can I eat you out?”
You really don’t have words to offer so you just nod once twice. You would nod more but he practically rips your penties off you and pushes you skirt up, trowing your legs over his shoulders.
“Oh god! Joshu…..ahh….” You voice would be non existent by the end of this sweet torture and you wouldn’t be able to look his friends in the eyes but you don’t care. You’ve wanted this…you’ve wanted him for so long.
Is it that he’s so skilled with his tongue, licking and lapping like a man dying who finally found his salvation, or is it you so desperate for him.
The way you fall apart makes sends all the blood to Joshua’s dick. It’s like his mind is wiped off and he cal only think with his hardened member.
“Okey?” He manages, littering your thigh and knee with kisses.
“Please..”
“Please what babe?” He needs you to say it. HE’s learned a long time ago he needs confirmation always, the more the better.
“I can’t…I need you inside me, please, Shua…” You beg and oh boy you’re so sexy when you beg.
He gets rid of the rest of his clothes and takes his rightful place between your thighs, your hands automatically coming to rest on his back.
“Fuck I…condoms?”
“No, IUD and I’m clean.”
“Clean too. You…sure?”
“I will basically go insane if you’re not in me in 30 seconds.”
“Good to know we’re in the same boat.” He kisses you deeply before positioning himself at your entrance, gliding himself over your essence before his tip finds your entrance.
The moment he pushes himself in his eyes are on yours. Your breath catches. It’s so perfect: the stretch, the feeling…and the fact that there’s no condom between the two of you makes it so real.
Joshua basically can’t breath by the time he bottoms out. You are everywhere. Hot, wet, tight. Better than he could ever imagine.
“Babe…” You whine when he closes his eyes and just breathes.
Your mouth is open, lips full. You look all things his wild fantasies when he opens his eyes and looks at you. But more than that you look like the love of his life.
“Please move…” You beg and this time his mouth stretches in a half-smirk. He just loves loves you begging. Loves. But he’ll think about all the possibilities of this later.
Now though….
“Whatever my baby wishes.” He gives you a kiss and having pulled out almost to the tip smashes back in, smacking the breath out of you.
“Oh shit…” You breath out, grabbing at his arms.
“Too much?”
“No, I love…love it.”
He sets a fast exhausting rhyme because it’s been so long in the making and if he makes love to you slowly and sexually right now he will lose it pretty fast. No. Right now he wants…needs to fuck you good and deep. Fuck you so good you will never want any other man. He’ll make love to you later tonight. But right now it’s a claim and he’s gonna back it up.
He hooks his hands under your knees bringing them up and changing the angle.
“Oh my….G—god you’re gonna kill….me.” You call and he presses into you, kissing your lips - teeth and tongue and everything he can get.
And when he hits that spot inside your nails dig into his skin painfully and your eyes close as you whisper his name, clenching around him.
“Right there?”
“Oh god yeah right….right there.” He strokes the spot once twice…one more time and then it’s like observing the sunset for the first time. You coming undone is something ethereal in his eyes.
When you finally come back to yourself, your tongue glides over your lips and your breath deeply.
“What are waiting for?” You ask, one hand sliding down his neck and to his chest when his heart is so rapidly thundering. “I wanna see you…”
“Only if you give me one more.” He smirks.
Joshua pulls out only to turn you on your side, dropping behind you and as you push one of your legs up and over his hip, he slides back inside.
“You’re not tired are you?” He whispers, nipping at your earlobe. “I got lots I wanna do to you.”
“Good,” you whisper back, pushing your ass into him a bit, arching. “Because I’ve got a lot of things I wanna do to you.”
Joshua catches your lips in long long kiss, emotions spilling in all the directions.
He makes you cum one more time before finally spilling into you. And when his body is boneless draped over you, your hands caressing his back, he knows he can die a happy man now.
“We should get cleaned up…” He mutters into your skin.
“Hmm.” You mumble back, kissing his shoulder but not moving.
There’s so much love and tenderness here now he won’t be able to imagine his life without it, without you.
He pulls out carefully, rolling on his back next to you. But one of his hands extends as if automatically and you momentarily put your head there and your hand on his chest.
“I really love you.” He whispers, like it’s a secret. But the thing is: it’s no longer a secret at all.
“I know, Shua.” You smile. “I love you too.”
“Can you stay with me?” He asks. He knows you have a life and it’s not here but how is he supposed to let you go? How is he supposed to survive even if it’s a long-distance thing?
So when you offer a soft “Okey” he turns his head to you so fast he might as well get a whiplash.
“What?” Maybe he’s heard you wrong.
“I want to stay here with you.” You repeat.
“Really? You’re not kidding, are you? Because if you are, I….”
“No, I’m not kidding. I…I’ve thought a lot before coming here. I wouldn’t have come if I didn’t think it all through. I knew that once we met again, it…it would be a torture to separate. At least for me… maybe that’s why it took me such a long time to decide and come to Korea. If you didn’t feel the same, my heart would have been broken. If you did and I left afterwards it would have been too painful for both of us. So…”
Joshua interrupts you with a hug, wrapping you in his arms tightly as he feels the moisture in his eyes.
Is it really true? He hopes it’s not a dream.
There’s a timid knock on the door and an awkward voice of Kim Mingyu that follows:
“Hmm guys we left your breakfast on the table downstairs….and now we’re leaving…yeah. Have fun!” Then there’s running of a very large man before it’s once again silent behind the door.
Joshua starts laughing while you look very red.
“I’m never gonna be able to look them in the eyes again.” You close your eyes with your palms.
He’s still laughing while kissing your hands, every knuckle, and when you finally let go your face, your eyelids, cheeks, lips. He kisses your lips a lot. It’s his new favourite thing to do now.
He whispers that he loves you with every kiss and when you answer I kind his heart swells and he pulls you un a hug again.
Now Joshua feels complete.