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You and your best friend, Armin, had just finished getting off the ship that led you and the rest of the Eldia Scout Regiment to Marley. Amidst all the chaos and tragedy that had surrounded you, you found peace in the cheery air and bright sky.
“Welcome to the continent of Marley!" Onyankopon exclaimed. "I’ll guide you to the Azumabito estate.”
As the others, meaning Hange, Connie, and Sasha, seemingly grow infatuated by what Hange calls a "car,” you stand next to Armin, absolutely bewildered.
“Huh,” you chuckle, “so much for ‘don’t stand out.’ Do you think they’ll be alright, ya’know, being like that out here?”
Armin nods and quickly shakes his head. “No, yeah, I’m sure they’ll be fine. Come on, I wanna learn more about this place!”
“What’s there to learn about?” You ask curiously while trailing after him as he walks off. When you catch up to him, you can’t help but smile at his eager expression. He’s not that different from the rest of the group after all. It was nice to see a change in demeanor. Ever since this war started, Armin’s changed. He had no time to act shy, insecure, and hopeless. He was more on edge than he ever was in his entire life. When you two met as young children, you always had to protect him from threats like bullies. But now? Now bullies are just silly, and you found yourself being protected by him more than the other way around. It left a bittersweet wound in your heart.
"Well,” you hear his voice again, causing you to snap out of your thoughts. “Uh, you know. I think this will be a great learning experience..” He explains, but quickly trails off while trying to get closer to a food stand without you noticing.
You can’t help but chuckle at the sight and take a satchel of money from your pocket. “What’s this? Never seen it before. Looks good.” You chime.
“Oh! Uh, no, no.. I’m just looking!” The blonde squeaked and scratched the side of his cheek. He was always like that: wanting you to never do anything for him if it meant you spending something of value, whether that was money or even your time.
"Well, these actually looked good so.. why don’t we share?” You said while softly elbowing him. His grateful expression was evident by his grin as you held a tan cone with white cream up to his face. Armin hesitantly bit a small chunk and his eyes went wide.
“Woah..! It’s cold! And sweet?” He mumbles with a mouthful of what the vendor called ice cream. “Try it!”
You lean forward and lick the ice cream, immediately feeling a wave of satisfaction overcome you. “Mm,” you hum, “I’ve never eaten anything like this before. Are we even doing it right?”
"I’m sure it can’t be that hard to eat this thing.” He smiles. You can’t help but smile back since you provided him with something he wanted. It made you feel good.
However, thoughts of the future flashed before you. Will this ever last? Being happy with him? What if he gets mixed into something terrible? What if you weren’t there to stop it?
You bit your inner cheek and cursed yourself for thinking about these thoughts again. You knew that normal friends don’t think about their futures with their best friends so dearly like that. It took you a while to realize your infatuation with Armin was actually just a crush, but you also figured that the best course of action was to let it be a crush and a crush only. You knew you couldn’t pursue it. There’s no time for romance in the middle of a war. It’s not like it didn’t hurt, though.
“No, not the time. Just be happy.” You thought while trying to push your mind into a positive headspace. God, you fell hard.
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Soon after, you found yourself roaming around with your best friend by your side, letting him lead you to different places and trying different foods. It was like a festival that you and Armin could never get bored of. You had even convinced this random stranger to drive you and Armin around a lap in his car. Food, entertainment, friends, and each other. But how could you have fun knowing you’d have to leave this moment of solidarity? Your head couldn’t stop aching with bitter thoughts. You prayed you’d get to experience this again. You prayed it wouldn’t be just a memory.
“Hey,” you heard a soft voice call out, followed by the feeling of a hand on your shoulder. “You’re spacing out. Do you wanna stop walking? We can find somewhere to take a nap.” It was getting dark after all.
You blink a couple times and shake your head. As you look forward, your eyes glisten against the lights below you. The sun began to set and the buildings seemingly awoke in different lights and lanterns.
Armin had previously led you two up to a balcony by the help of a shop owner. As you begin to reminisce about that entire interaction, you also remember him talking to the owner, glancing at you every now and then and seeing the other man chuckle and nod at your best friend's words. Maybe he was lying just to get a good spot to hang out on? Unfortunately, he had to push you aside and talk to the owner privately in order to persuade him. "Weird," you thought, but didn’t care to dwell on it.
“I’m not that tired,” you say as you shrug off your indifference, “this is a nice view, man. Thank you for bringing me here. I needed a break.” You breathe in the cool air and sigh, feeling content with where your feet stand and the person you’re with at the very moment. It was nice.
Your brief moment of fulfillment quickly comes to a halt when you notice Armin fiddling with his fingers in the corner of your eye. His anxiety was something you took note of, but he usually relaxed around you. He wasn’t like this before, either.
“Are you okay? Maybe you need rest,” you suddenly speak in between a chuckle, making him jolt slightly at your inquiry. This made you tilt your head in confusion. You shift closer and whisper. “Hey, seriously, what’s wrong?”
“Ah- um..” The way he fumbled over his words made your heart melt. “Tell- I need to tell..”
"Armin, take your time-”
“No!”
Without another word, he grasped your hands and held them in his own. Your eyes widened after he cut you off so soon, but to your disappointment, you couldn’t read his expression at all since he was hanging his head low.
“Armi-”
“I-I.. I can’t.” He raises his head and looks at you with glossy eyes. “I can’t continue to live a good life knowing m-my life is- will be cut short.”
Armin's words are sharp, yet his tone is evidently not as confident as he’d like. His voice wavers as he continues to speak.
"And.. I, uh- even if we get over this, and we get to live, I mean- all of us get to live, what’s the point?!”
Your eyes begin to prickle with tears as he raises his voice and looks back down.
“I have to die after a few more years. M-My titan curse will not only be the cause of my death, but also an excuse. An excuse that- an excuse that will pull me away from you! Because I’m a coward!” He desperately explains, but to no avail, you have no idea what he’s talking about.
"I-I don’t follow,” you choke up.
He fully faces you with a soft tint of pink tainting his cheeks. The sight made your stomach churn out of guilt because you suddenly felt a glimmer of hope.
“I’d be a coward because there wouldn't be enough time to tell you how I feel. So that’s why I need to do it! A-And I need to repay you! For all the things you’ve given me my whole life. Not only for making my heart feel happy every time you walk by, b-but for giving me a spine!”
Armin grabs your forearms and grips your skin, keeping you close. “You make me feel confident, you make me feel so.. so strong, and it’s destroying me because all I do is burden you. I-I don’t want my- my death to be a burden too..”
He begins to sniffle and allow tears to run down his cheeks. You blink the tears welling up in your eyes down as well when you notice his last sentence growing quieter and quieter. All you could do is stare in silence.
“And, before I do that..!” He cries out while his voice cracks, “I want to live with you! A-At least.. no- I wanna be yours. Yours forever, until we both die!”
Armin completely breaks down, hiccuping in between sobs as he pulls away, seemingly to prevent himself from burdening you further. You both knew how impossible it would be to stay with each other until a natural death, but.. even so-
Without another thought, you instinctively pulled him in and held him so close in your arms.
"I love you..!” You gasped. “All this time I’ve been trying to erase these thoughts I’ve had for you. For years, I thought I could find peace and stay satisfied with being the guest in your wedding, a-and I..” Your throat closed up and you shook your head. You refused to think about the potential future you had to face.
You break away from the hug and cup his wet cheeks with your hands. His beautiful blue eyes that glistened under his tears made your head ache. When his expression softened, he looked down at your mouth, and you looked down at his, glancing between his lips and his gaze.
“And I can’t. Heaven knows I can’t.” You whisper in between a pathetic chuckle. “So-”
Armin lets out a soft whimper after you press a long, long kiss against his lips. The softness of his skin and the warmth of his cheeks got you so flustered and satisfied at the same time. While you brush your thumbs against his face, he wraps one arm around your back and the other clutching your hair. The two of you refused to let go as if Ymir’s curse would hit him in just a couple seconds.
It was only after you needed to breathe that you pulled away, and you were met with the heartbreaking, yet endearing sight of Armin’s needy eyes.
"Okay..” He whispers so gently, as if everyone in the world could hear you two. “O-Okay..”
You press another quick kiss and let the sound of Armin’s whine echo in your ears.
"Mmnh..!"
“I’m not giving up, I promise you.” You say with a more confident tone as you grip his hands.
He sniffles again and quickly nods his head. “I won’t either! I promise. I’m happy, I’m so, so happy.”
This time, Armin wraps his arms around your neck and kisses you. You found it so adorable how he seemingly just gained the courage to. Feeling so proud and so content, you place your hands on his waist and let his hips rub against yours, finding this special moment to be both intimate and sweet. He lets out a shaky moan upon feeling your tongue against his, and you both just hold each other. Until the end of time.
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Upon going back to the boat to return home, you decide to walk around, looking for your new boyfriend with a wide smile on your face.
Without warning, Jean walks past you and bumps into your shoulder.
"Sorry.” He says.
Before you could even apologize as well after looking back to face him, you suddenly feel startled at his own face. He looked so.. dejected.
“What the hell? What’s wrong with you?” You ask.
"You’re lucky..” he said in a tone that sounded like his soul left his body. "Must be nice to get the one you want, huh?”
Your eye twitched for a moment. “Hey, man.. uh, it’s gonna be okay.”