Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"And you say I abandoned the ship, But I was going down with it"

CAST

Olivia Cooke is

Fifi

'The Duchess'

Emilia Clarke, Hayley Atwell & Perdita Weeks are also 'The Duchess'

The rest of the 'Doctor Who' cast as their respective characters

☆☆☆

'The Doctor's wife' was something the universe liked to keep a secret. When asked if she was real, it might have answered once - when his face hadn't changed as many times and his eyes weren't as aged. His enemies liked to pretend they knew her, but after the loss of Galifray, it seemed she disappeared. Her faces were unknown, and her voice changed. Even the Doctor wouldn't recognise her in a crowded room. In fact, many times, he hadn't.

'The Duchess', or 'Fifi' as she preferred, was a myth, someone who left the universe's eyes for a second, and didn't return for years. Well, until the ToyMaker forces her to reveal herself, and she's thrown back into the arms of her husband.

☆☆☆

PLAYLIST

So Long, London by Taylor Swift

"I founded the club she's heard great things about"

drywall by Pairs Paloma

"Doesn't know that he is pavin' the road for my escape way every time"

The Last One by Maisie Peters

"I'll be the last one in your corner when the count's done"

reckless driving By Lizzy McAlpine

 "But you love me like that, you're a reckless driver, and one day it will kill us if I don't let go"

The Alchemy by Taylor Swift

"Cause the sign on your heart, said it's still reserved for me"

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1bAnCxnMYjAqqZRXNAYnjD?si=f12bce4fa0a74f79 

Chapter Text

The Time War was long, devastating and unimaginable. The Duchess felt a new grief, sat in her husband's TARDIS which had found itself next to her own atop a block of flats in central London. He'd chosen to regenerate before, and after the war, and she supposed that's why he was happily flipping switches of the TARDIS, talking and rambling in his new accent, trying to squash his own grief.

Fifi couldn't squash hers. The second she'd regenerated, mere weeks ago, she felt the weight of the world fall on her shoulders. She wasn't used to the feeling. She was a Museum Curator for god's sake, she travelled occasionally, preferring her comfortable home on Galifray that was now gone.

She wasn't built to be a soldier, to hold all this grief. This new body may have been, but in her soul, she felt the weight, and she couldn't keep ignoring it like The Doctor. They'd been travelling for the past month or so, eventually, it lulled Fifi's body into a state of calm, realising it was okay to regenerate - finally. They'd been across the universe and Fifi felt so...empty. She usually dealt with regenerations fine, hers and The Doctor's. They were the same people.

But after the Time War...they weren't.

Fifi wanted to crawl up into a ball and sob, and The Doctor just...wouldn't let her. Him repressing his own emotions, led to him oppressing hers.

They didn't talk as much anymore. They didn't even talk about what happened, about the family they'd lost, the children...

The TARDIS felt empty, and she supposed it was also dealing with its own grief. She couldn't stay. The Doctor expected her to be by his side...forever. God, it made her feel sick.

"I -" she goes to speak but is stopped by her own dread. The Doctor looks up and over the console of the TARDIS, watching her small form curled up on the jump seat "I need to leave,"

"Leave?" he echos, walking over to her, but not getting too close

"I can't -" she takes a deep breath "You want to keep going, to ignore everything and jump head first into an adventure and I can't,"

"Well, we can just travel together, just us-"

"No," she shakes her head "We've been trying that. You love a stray Doctor, and I can't lose any more, I can't lose anyone else," she stands up, looking at his shocked face "I love you, but I have - I can't," She doesn't know why she's brought it up now, why she's desperate to run out the doors and into her own TARDIS, bathed in a warm, comforting light. Despite the golden hues present around her, The Doctor's TARDIS felt cold, he felt cold.

"You're leaving me?"

Fifi bites her lip, fighting back tears, "I'm running away," she says slowly "I'm running away as far as I can, just like you did," she starts to leave, but he grabs her arm, spinning her around

"Phee, please!"

"I just need some time, by myself,"

"But-" she doesn't let him talk, interrupting him with a soft kiss to the lips, when she pulls back, she backs away from him and towards the doors, the TARDIS' lights flickering.

"I'll come find you when I'm ready," then she was gone, leaving The Doctor shocked, he'd lost his entire planet...and now his wife.

Fifi leaves the roof silently, walking into her own TARDIS which had mirrored her Husband's. The phone box phases in and out silently, and when The Doctor runs out to see if she'd really left...he finds nothing.