Archive of Our Own

From the moment his alarm woke him up, Hirano knew something felt... off. It was faint, but his head felt... cloudy, and his body felt weaker. Just enough so that it was obviously more than his usual morning fatigue.

"I better not be getting sick..." He thought to himself. Allowing himself a few extra moments to wake up a bit more, his mind drifts towards memories of recent events. Recent events that, despite his best efforts, seem unwilling to leave the forefronts of his mind. So much so, that his sleep schedule has been royally fucked over.

"I am not... A 'good little boy!"

"I'm always... always wondering how much I'm allowed to touch you."

"I want... to touch you more..."

Just remembering what happened a few nights ago sent his emotions spiraling. Even though they were sort-of able to get back into their usual routine afterward, with the caveat of Kagiura being more jumpy and anxious around him, Hirano kept thinking about everything, repeating that one specific moment over and over.

He would never admit it out loud, but those words affected him. In what way exactly... He wasn't sure, but it sure as hell was annoying when it constantly haunted his peace of mind. And kept him up at night.

"My heart felt like it was going to leap out of my chest, but I didn't want him to leave... Ugh! It’s too damn early for this!"

After mustering the strength to push himself up, he looks over to Kagiura's side of the room, expecting to see the usual sight of his roommate in his bed, only to be greeted by said roommate kneeling in front of him. With a startled yelp, Hirano grabs his pillow and whacks the unexpected presence in the face before bolting backwards slightly. Kagiura, now unceremoniously laying on his side on the floor, starts massaging his face before he sits himself back upright.

When he finally registers what happened, he hoists himself off the bed and kneels down beside his roommate. "Oh, shit- Sorry, Kagi-kun! You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm okay. I guess that's one way to wake up in the morning, hahah!" Kagiura gives a sleepy grin.

”Looks like he’s back to normal, so far at least…” If nothing else, it was reassuring that Kagiura wasn’t avoiding him (directly) again.

"Still, I hope I didn't hit you too hard."

"Nope! All good here!"

"Well, good. Anyways, what were you doing sitting over me?"

"Oh, actually, I was making sure you were okay Hirano-san. You took a really long time to turn the alarm off. Even then, I thought you fell back asleep because you just laid there for a while. I know you've overslept a few times before, but it’s the fact that you almost slept through the alarm that’s worrying me. Are you feeling okay?" 

"Oh... Did I really almost sleep through the alarm?" He was genuinely confused.

"Yeah, you did. I'd say it went for a good minute and a half at least, and that’s just what I was awake for." Kagiura replied, leaning in and putting the back of his hand against Hirano's forehead.

As tempting as it was to playfully slap the hand away and/or make some witty jab, Hirano humored his roommate. Better to not tempt fate and actually make Kagiura start avoiding him out of guilt again.

“That’s not like me at all… For it to go on long enough for even Kagi to wake up from it? Then again, he has gotten better at waking up, but still. Hope we don’t get a noise complaint because of this…”

“You don’t feel warm, so maybe I’m just overthinking things…” Kagi stands back up and starts walking back to his side of the room.

Hirano was conflicted. Should he say something about his… fatigue, for lack of a better term? Or should he just let it be? After all it could just be a fluke- 

“Well I guess my head kinda feels cloudy, maybe I’ve been staying up too late…” So much for taking time to think about his answer. Looks like his brain-to-mouth filter is on the fritz too.

“Staying up too late? Since when have you been doing that?” Kagi asked, confused. “We’ve been going to bed at the same time for a while now. You haven’t been getting back up to study after I fall asleep have you?”

“Of course not, you idiot. I know I can be a bit of a bookworm, but even I wouldn’t go that far.” He paused. “Also, that’s kinda ironic coming from you, Kagi-kun.” 

“That’s-!” Kagiura begins, then wilts after a moment. “Okay, fine, you’re right. But still…”

Hirano thinks for a second, but ultimately decides it would probably be better to just rip off the band-aid. With a sigh, he looks up at Kagiura. “I’ve just been… overthinking things, is all. Some things have been on my mind and then they keep me up, even if I know it’s a stupid thing to get so hung-over about.” He grumbled the last part.

"I'm always... always wondering how much I'm allowed to touch you."

Of fucking course his brain had to remind him of said ‘things’ at that exact moment.

Kagiura looks at him for a couple seconds, before a panicked look overtook his face. “It’s not… Because of what I did the other night, is it?”

“No- Kagi-kun, no! Do not start this again!” Hirano stands up, closes the distance and puts his hands on Kagiura’s shoulders. “Do not go blaming yourself and avoid me again.” 

Blushing, Kagiura stammers. “N-No! I’m not planning on avoiding you again, it’s just… I’d feel bad if I had anything to do with this.” 

“There’s that damned look on his face again!” Hirano was about to retort, but before he let himself go on a rant, he took a breath.

“Okay, we’ve definitely both wound ourselves up over nothing.” He somehow urges himself to grin. “Come on, let’s get ready. If it makes you feel better, I’ll take it easy today. And if I feel worse, I’ll go see the nurse just in case. Wouldn’t want to start the new year getting sick.” Kagiura didn’t look convinced.

“Okay, if you’re sure, Hirano-san.”

After going about their usual routine, Kagi leaves for practice, but not before once again asking Hirano if he felt okay, to which he just ruffled his roommate’s hair and teased him for worrying about him. 

Now that he was alone in the dorm room, he thought more about how he felt. He isn’t feeling as lethargic now, nor is he unable to think clearly, so maybe it really was just a fluke this morning? But he still felt like something was just off. 

“Damn it! This is gonna bug me all day, isn’t it?” He grumbled, sitting back down on his bed. Getting sick was not on his agenda, ideally this was all just in his head and simply didn’t get enough sleep last night. After all…

"I am not... A 'good little boy!"

“Ugh! That’s it…!” He already had one mental spiral from letting his thoughts go back to that moment, he was not letting another one happen! He marched over to his desk, forcefully, yet quietly, yanked the chair out from under it and forced himself onto it. Some studying will do him some good after all.

It didn’t.

When Hirano eventually got to class, he already wanted the day over with. He was already mad that he might be getting sick, but his mood was made even worse when he couldn’t even study without his mind tormenting him. He just wanted one moment where his mind wouldn’t replay that scene in his head.

Eventually Sasaki walked in and towards his desk, hesitating for a second when he saw Hirano furiously glaring at his study materials. “Do I wanna know what happened?” He asks, slightly deadpan.

“Nothing happened.” He grumbled back.

“...Alright then.” Sasaki shrugged, taking his seat and pulling out his phone.

Not long after, Hanzawa and Ogasawara walk in, an ever-familiar aura of distress on Ogasawara’s face, while Hanzawa simultaneously looks amused and bemused. 

“Now, now, Ogasawara, is it possible you’re misinterpreting her actions and overthinking things?”

“What is there to misinterpret?! Why else would it be there, out in the open to draw my attention to it?!”

Sasaki snorts, grinning from ear to ear. “I would ask what’s wrong, but I feel like I already know the answer.” 

“This is no laughing matter man! Eimi bought another one of those BL manga she likes, but it’s worse this time! The main dude in the cover looks almost exactly like me, blue hair and everything! I almost don’t even wanna mention what was going on in the cover, let alone inside it!”

”I already couldn’t focus before, now this…” Hirano once again wished for the day to be over.

“Dude, didn’t you say that the other manga she bought last week looked exactly like you, too? And it turned out that he looked almost nothing like you after all?” Sasaki pitched in.

“I do believe I remember that happening too!” Hanzawa says, with his usual smirk.

“Why do you guys never take this seriously?!” Ogasawara and Sasaki continue bickering.

Laughing at the absurdity of the situation, Hanzawa walked towards his own seat, before letting out an ‘Oh dear…” when he saw Hirano. “That’s quite a scary look on your face. Is something the matter?”

Hirano really didn’t want to repeat himself, but oh well. “I didn’t sleep well last night, and I almost overslept again…” As if to prove his point, Hirano lets out a deep yawn.

"I am not... A 'good little boy!"

“Damn it!” Hirano tightens his grip on his pencil. He was getting real sick and tired of seeing that moment replay.

Hanzawa hums in sympathy. “Do you need to go see the nurse? We don’t want you falling asleep in class, now.” He teased.

“I should be fine.”

Hanzawa didn't look convinced. “Well, if you’re sure.” He says, sitting down.

For the most part, classes started out decent. He was semi-able to keep up with everything, but his focus kept faltering at points, evidently in a noticeable way because Sasaki even asked him about it during lunch break.

“Like I said before, I’m just tired.” He responded. 

Sasaki gave him the look he had when he obviously didn’t believe someone. “Why don’t you go see the nurse, then? Because it’s not like you to almost fall asleep in class.”

“I didn’t almost fall asleep in class.”

Sasaki stared at him again. “...Fine. Why not get some coffee or something from the vending machine? I’m headed that way.”

“...You know what? Sure.” Maybe that’s exactly what he needed. 

It was only when classes ended for the day when Hirano finally, begrudgingly, admitted to himself that he might actually be getting sick. Thankfully he hadn’t gotten worse, but it was the fact that he hadn’t improved at all that finally got him to accept it. He debated skipping the Disciplinary Committee meeting, but figured if he got this far, he’d may as well see it through to the end.

Hirano was thankful to whatever existed above that the meeting was over relatively shortly. By the end of it, he’d caught himself zoning out more than once. His head was also starting to ache a bit too.

“That’s everything! Any questions?” Hanzawa beamed, looking around the room. When nobody responded, he continued. “Well alright then. We’ll just need to sort through these and then-” Hanzawa was interrupted by the door sliding open suddenly.

“Oh, good! You’re all still here!” A random student said from the doorway. “There’s an argument going on downstairs, and it looks real close to getting physical! Think you guys could help?”  

“Oh dear, we’ll handle this right away!” Hanzawa and the others stand up and make their way to the door.

“I’ll stay behind to lock up.” Hirano said. He did not want to push himself any further.

“I’ll stay back too. I’m… not good when it comes to altercations.” Miyano chimed in.

“Understood! We’ll leave it to you two then!” Hanzawa’s gaze lingered on Hirano for a moment longer, face faltering for a moment, before he and the group set off to deal with the situation. 

Now that it was just the two of them left in the room, Hirano and Miyano also didn’t waste time with their tasks. Miyano took care of organizing the papers, while Hirano took care of sorting the lost items into different boxes at the table. However, it didn’t take long for Hirano to notice something… off about Miyano. He kept pausing, before frantically shaking his head and slapping his cheeks.

"You feeling okay, Miyano? You seem kinda out of it."

"Huh? Oh, no, I'm fine, really! Just have a few things on my mind at the moment..." He trails off, and Hirano didn't miss the grimace when said 'things'. “What about you, Hirano-senpai? You also kinda looked out of it today.”

“Eh?” Hirano sighed. He was really getting tired of repeating himself, but he knew Miyano at the very least meant well. “Everyone’s been asking me that today. Do I really seem that off?”

“I don’t want to be rude, but yeah, you do. You were zoning out in the meeting, plus you look really tired.” 

Hirano hummed in acknowledgement. “Yeah, I won’t lie, I’m exhausted. I should be fine after a good night’s rest.” Hopefully, but he didn’t say that part out loud. “Anyways, what’s on your mind? It kinda looks like it’s bugging you.” He could relate, honestly, but again, he didn’t say that out loud.

"Uhh..." Miyano opened his mouth, hesitating, but closed it again.

"You don't have to tell me if it makes you uncomfortable." He continues organizing the lost items.

"It's just... It's kinda embarrassing but... Oh what the heck! If I don't talk about this to somebody then I'm gonna go crazy!" He exclaims, shaking his head at the end.

Startled by Miyano's outburst, Hirano turns to face him. "You haven't talked to Sasaki about this yet?"

"No..." He deflates. "I overslept today so we didn't see each other on the train, and I couldn't talk to Tashiro or Kuresawa either because I barely made it to class on time… Lunch break was a bust too because Kuresawa got a call from his girlfriend and Tashiro went somewhere with Shirahama. Then we had today's meeting and now here we are... Plus... I'd rather avoid talking to Sasaki-senpai about this if I could..."

"Something that you can't talk about with Sasaki? Now this I've got to hear." Hirano was admittedly worried now. “DId something happen between you two?”

“No! No! It’s nothing like that I swear!” Miyano takes a deep breath, then exhales after a few seconds. "Okay... So, the other day, I happened to find a doujinshi following characters from one of my favorite manga series. Normally it's not something I'd go for, but the main series has been on hiatus for a while, and the art style matched the one from the main series near-identically, so I figured what the heck! The first few pages looked promising too!"

"Go on..." 

"Well, last night I finally got around to reading it, and it started out innocent enough. The two main characters are on a vacation but then weird things start happening. They both keep seeing these visions of some horrific scene, and ultimately it turns out that it's actually a dream, or rather, both of them are re-living a real event that left them both nearly dead. One of them doesn't make it, and when the other one wakes up, it goes into a sort-of time-skip where it narrates all the events that happen afterwards. It's basically just a bunch of panels of the surviving protagonist crying, mourning what he lost. It was all so... vivid, and everything was done in a way that was so believable to the series that I feel like I can't look at it without remembering this and it's driving me crazy!" 

Hirano sweat-dropped, not quite knowing what to say. "Well, I can't exactly say I know how that would feel, but do you at least feel better having gotten that off your chest?"

"Maybe? I don't know, it's still just so fresh in my mind that it might take a few days, but thank you anyway Hirano-senpai!" Miyano finally lets out a genuine smile. 

"Uhh, no problem I guess?" Hirano chuckled, resuming what he was previously doing. “Anyways, why wouldn’t you be able to discuss this with Sasaki?”

“Because! It was the third series we read together, and he said it was one of his favorites! On top of that, it was his favorite character that didn’t make it, the death scene did a call-back to the confession where that character said this cheesy one-liner that Sasaki found hysterical, and-! I couldn’t put Sasaki-senpai through all that mental turmoil!” A cloud of gloom remained around Miyano as he sulked.

Hirano chuckled as he stood up, slightly shaking his head when the haze came back to him in full-force, making his head rush. He grips the table as he tries to land his chair, with slight success in landing just far enough towards the middle that he didn’t immediately slide off the side of the chair, but ultimately did so anyway.

“Senpai!” Miyano was at his side in an instant. “Are you okay?! Look at me!”

Right then, the door opens to reveal Hanzawa, with Sasaki in tow.

“Is everything alright in here- Oh dear!” Both rush to Miyano’s side.

“Mya-chan! What happened!?” 

“I-I don’t know! One second he was fine, the next he just collapsed!”

Hanzawa adjusts the chair while Sasaki joins Miyano in helping Hirano back into it. When he’s finally in a stable position, Hirano leans on arm against the table, supporting his head.

“You didn’t hit your head at all, did you, Hirano?” Hanzawa asks, kneeling to Hirano’s level.

“No, I didn’t. Just lost my balance because of a head rush.” Hirano replies, but his tone was notably more subdued.

“Okay dude, this obviously isn’t just you not getting enough sleep. Having trouble concentrating in class is one thing, but this is way more serious.” Sasaki frowns, but it’s more concern than anger. “Your face is getting kinda red too.”

“I must agree, Hirano. It’s vital to not push yourself if you aren’t feeling well.” Hanzawa adds.

“I’m not doing this on purpose. I didn’t think it would get this bad. This morning it just felt like a lack of sleep, nothing I hadn’t dealt with before.” Hirano grumbled.

“Why didn’t you go see the nurse in class then?” Miyano asks.

“Like I just said, I didn’t feel that bad then. It really only started to hit me during the meeting.” He massages his forehead.

“Alright then, let’s get you back to the dorm. Can you stand?” Hanzawa stands up.

“Yeah, I think so.” He does so, seeming to have his balance back.

He hovers around Hirano as he stands up, offering to lend him a shoulder, to which Hirano declines. 

When they entered the room, Hirano wasted no time in unceremoniously flopping onto his bed. All of his energy had seemingly just vanished, and his head was hurting quite a bit. He didn’t even bother changing out of his uniform. 

“Do you need me to get anything for you?” Hanzawa stood next to him.

Hirano shook his head. “Mm-mm.” Everything was foggy now.

Hanzawa stood up, heading for the door. “Alright then, just get some rest. Either I or the Dorm Manager will stop by again later to check in on you.’ When he received no response, Hanzawa looked back at his friend, only to find he’d immediately fallen asleep.

"My goodness, he fell asleep fast.” He exhaled through his nose, finally leaving the room.

When Hirano started regaining consciousness, he could hear voices.

“He’s still asleep, but I’ll tell him.”

“I appreciate it. Also, be sure to tell him to get lots of rest and stay hydrated.”

“Sure thing! I’ll let him know you stopped by.”

“That’s all, have a good night, Kagiura-kun.”

“Same to you, Dorm Head, Dorm Manager!” 

He heard footsteps, which he now recognized as Kagiura’s, move closer, likely towards his own side of the room. Everything was still clouded, but his headache was dulled at the very least. Slowly creaking his eyes open, his guess was confirmed as he saw Kagiura sitting at the study table in front of his bed. He also had a wet washcloth on his head.

“Kagi-kun…?” He muttered.

Kagiura immediately perked up and made his way over to Hirano’s bed.

”Hirano-san! You’re awake. How’re you feeling?”

“Not great…”

Kagiura hummed. “You have a fever, so that’s not surprising.” He takes the washcloth off of Hirano’s head, dips it in a bowl of ice water, squeezes the water out, then returns it to his head. He then frowns. “I knew something was wrong this morning, I’m sorry.”

“What for..?” 

”He’s upset... Why is he upset..?” Hirano thinks to himself. Seeing Kagiura exhibit any emotion other than his pure, radiant joy or his whiny pout sparked something in Hirano. He didn’t want him to make that face.

“...Nevermind. I got you a washcloth for your fever, and I’ve been changing it every little bit since I got back. I also brought you a case of bottled water in case you get thirsty! And I got permission to eat in our room from the Dorm Manager, that was him and the Dorm Head at the door just now if you heard. Oh! Speaking of that…” Kagiura got up and walked towards his dresser, grabbing a lidded bowl Hirano hadn’t noticed. “Here, I got you some rice porridge, the same kind you got me when I got sick a while back. Although, now that I think about it, I may have jumped the gun just a bit there. Are you hungry? If not, then you can have it later!”

“He’s really going above and beyond…”

“M’not hungry…” As nice as it sounded, he was still so fucking tired.

“That’s okay then.” Kagiura returns the bowl to its former location on top of his dresser. For some reason, this action bothered Hirano; he didn’t want Kagi-kun to leave his side.

Hirano tries to push himself up, but just like this morning, his strength fails him and he falls flat on his face, knocking the wash cloth off his head in the process.

“Woah! Careful, there!” Kagiura rushes back and leans in close, supporting his head with both hands, his one hand sliding closer towards his neck after a moment. “Don’t push yourself too much, Hirano-san! If you need to get more rest, then get more rest.”

"He’s so close, but he isn’t forcing himself to hold back, or acting jittery, like he did something wrong.” Hirano didn’t have the energy to respond, so he wordlessly adjusted himself so he was comfortable. 

"I'm always... always wondering how much I'm allowed to touch you."

Kagiura’s touch was soft, warm. It was… nice. And his face was so close. His eyes… They look so gentle, comforting, so full of… l̷̡̺̺̿o̶̰͋̉̈ṽ̴̖͎̠̓e̸̗̜͍̊. It was getting hard to hold his eyes open. “I wouldn’t mind… If he touched me like this more…”

“There you go.” Kagiura’s smile somehow deepened. It made Hirano’s heart flutter.

“Thank you… F’r doing all this.” His words were starting to slur. 

“I had to make it up to you for what happened the other night somehow. Plus it’s like I told you, I wanted you to be more needy with me. How else am I gonna get to show you just how much I love you, Hirano-san?”

That word. ‘Love.’ Suddenly, something just clicks. That feeling he got the other night, when Kagi-kun got so close to him; the feeling he gets whenever him and Kagi-kun get into their silly play-fights; the feeling in his chest whenever he sees Kagi-kun get really passionate about something, usually basketball; the look in Kagi-kun’s eyes nearly this whole time. It was love. The thought made him smile, he was so happy.

Weakly, he says, “I love you too, Kagi-kun…” And with that, he closed his eyes.

Kagiura’s brain was short-circuiting. He hadn’t imagined that just now, had he? No, surely not… Right…? He didn’t know how to feel; he should be overjoyed, Hirano-san, his roommate and senpai that he’d fallen hard for, just said he loved him back! Just like that?! 

“Uhh… Hirano-san?” He mustered the strength to ask. Unfortunately for him, however, his roommate was fast asleep, oblivious to his inner turmoil. 

”Did he really mean that, or was it something he just said in the moment? He was half-asleep after all… But that at least means there has to be a chance he does feel that way, doesn’t it? Otherwise he wouldn’t say it at all, right?! Especially with that smile on his face, full of joy and happiness!”

As his thoughts continue to spiral in every direction, he slowly backs up until he reaches his bed, sliding down the side until he’s able to rest his head on his knees. He was jittering in place, probably red as a tomato, too, if the sudden heat in his face was any indication. His thoughts drift back to his own confession in the nurse’s office a while back.

“Is it really okay for me to be so hopeful?”

He needed to talk to somebody, anybody, like, now. Niibashi! Niibashi would know what to do, right? 

After quickly, but quietly, leaving the dorm room, he all but raced to a quiet area he hoped nobody would overhear his ramblings. At the very least, he won’t get in trouble for this, as curfew wasn’t for a few more hours.

Each ring felt like it lasted hours, although he knew realistically that it had only rang 3 times before he heard the other side pick up. Before Niibashi could even speak, Kagiura just started spouting words.

“Niibashi! Umm- I-I… Hirano-san- Ugh!” Kagiura facepalms. “Hirano-san just confessed to me! …I think…”

There was a five second silence on the other line, before Niibashi finally spoke. “...You ‘think’? How exactly do you ‘think’ he confessed to you? Either he did or he didn’t, right?”

“It’s just! He was-!”

“Oh my God, did he say it or not Kagiura!?”

“He did!”

“Then what’s the problem here? And why are you even on a call with me? Don’t tell me you panicked and ran out of the room to call me after he told you… Because I’m pretty sure you aren’t in your room with Hirano-san, otherwise we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now.”

“You don’t get it! The problem is I don’t know if he actually meant it or just said it in the heat of the moment…”

“Oh for the love of-! Why do you think he would say it if he didn’t mean it? You two have spent the last month trying to see if he actually does have feelings for you, here he finally admits he does, and your first reaction is to bolt out of the room and ask me if he actually meant it!?”

“Because he was half-asleep when he said it!” He’s panting now, and continues to do so for a few seconds. “Hirano-san is sick. Hanzawa-san said he collapsed during their committee meeting today, so he brought him back to the dorm. I was sitting with him after he woke up, but he wasn’t really awake I don’t think, and he fell back asleep right after he said it.”

Niibashi falls silent again, longer this time. Kagiura almost thinks he hung up when he finally speaks up again. “Maybe start with that, next time? Geez… Okay, I’m sorry for sounding standoff-ish there, I didn’t mean to sound like an asshole.”

“No, no, it’s fine.” Kagiura replies. “But what should I do? I don’t want to pressure him by just bringing it up out of nowhere…”

“Okay, to start, you need to calm down. Take a breath.” When he hears Kagiura do as he says, he continues. “Alright, now let’s start this over. What prompted all this?”

“I’m not really sure, to be honest. He wasn’t awake for long, it was 5 minutes at best. He woke up, I asked him how he was feeling, he said ‘not great’, then I told him there was food and water for him wherever he felt ready. Then I walked back to my side of the room, but I guess he tried to sit up because the next thing I know I hear him nearly fall off the bed, so I rushed back to make sure he didn’t hurt himself, and then after he -”

“Okay, slow down! You’re doing it again.” Niibashi cut in.

“Oh! Sorry…” Kagiura deflated.

“It’s fine. I think I’ve caught everything so far… At what point did he ‘confess’, so to speak?”

“After I helped him get re-adjusted. He thanked me, I told him I did it because I love him, and then he said it back.”

“...This sounds awfully similar to what happened when you accidentally confessed to him.”

“That’s what I was thinking, too! But I don’t want to assume that it’s the same thing happening here if it isn’t. I don’t want to hold it over his head if he ends up not remembering what he said…”

“Well, then, that’s your starting point. If he remembers saying it, you two talk about it and go from there. If he doesn’t, then don’t bother him about it. And if you’re worried about bringing it up, let him do it.”

“...Huh. That’s… Actually a really simple but effective way to go about it.”

“I know it is, I came up with it.~” Niibashi says with playful snark. It got the intended effect, in the end, as Kagiura started giggling.

When Hirano next gained consciousness, he felt… Well, he wouldn’t call it ‘better’, but the bar for that isn’t exactly all that high currently. He didn’t feel as lightheaded as he did, so his fever was likely down, but he still didn’t want to chance it; fevers tend to spike again closer to nighttime. 

Sitting up, he looks over to Kagiura’s side of the room, only to find it empty. Looking at the clock, he saw that class was about to start in less than 2 minutes. There was also a note next to his clock as well.

Good morning, Hirano-san!! Hope you’re feeling better! 

I took the liberty of turning off your alarm so you could get some extra sleep today. I also was able to bring back some breakfast for you, it’s on the desk if you get hungry. 

By the way, Hanzawa-san said he’d take any necessary notes for you, he’ll bring them over for you later.

Hope you feel better again!  -Kagiura :D

Hirano snorted when he saw the drawn face added on. It was such a Kagi-kun thing to do. With nothing better to do, he stood up, stretched and walked around the room to rid the stiffness in his legs. When he’s satisfied, he sits back down on his bed, grabbing his phone. There’s a few texts, notably from Sasaki, who told him to get well soon, and from Hanzawa, who reaffirmed what Kagiura said in the note.

It was only after he’d finished eating the food Kagiura left him that he noticed it. Sitting where he remembered his roommate had left it the previous night, was the rice porridge Kagiura brought him.

“Damn, now I feel bad. Maybe I could reheat this later?” It was dried up by now, having sat out all night, even if it was covered. “Probably not the best idea…” With a sigh, he sets the bowl next to his other dishes.

Standing by his bed, he looks back at the note. Another smile crept onto his face.

“He really didn’t need to do this, but I guess he can be stubborn too.” He thinks back to last night.

“I had to make it up to you for what happened the other night somehow. Plus it’s like I told you, I wanted you to be more needy with me. How else am I gonna get to show you just how much I love you, Hirano-san?”

"I Love you too, Kagi-kun…”

”Hold on a fucking second!!!!!” His face burns, and he falls back onto his bed. That’s right… Last night, when Kagi-kun was taking care of him, he’d said that… And he’d… meant it? And weirdly enough, he didn’t regret it… 

”Why am I not surprised by this?! All this time, we’ve been acting like a couple to see if I could ever see him as a romantic partner, and I haven’t felt any different about what we do together… So why did I say that?! Isn't there supposed to be some big realization moment or something?! No- Wait! That's just Miyano's BL rants rubbing off on me! Ugh!!”

As he flops down on his bed, Hirano thinks back to the last few months, even before they started acting like a couple theoretically would. Aside from Kagi-kun’s silly 10 seconds of touch thing, they hadn’t done anything out of the ordinary. Hirano had helped him study, helped him eat green peppers because Kagi-kun struggles to, they’d given gifts to each other to show affection - okay, maybe that one could be considered weird, but still - nothing weird happened between them!

Sure, his heart sometimes skipped a beat when Kagi-kun hugged him or leaned on him like a pillow, but that’s a normal reaction to somebody being that close to you! And fine, maybe he spoiled his roommate at times, but it was worth it to see him smile so warm, and genuinely. Even when he pouted over silly things, it was c̸͍͒ŭ̶̱ẗ̶̹́ḙ̶͐ å̸͈d̸̛̯ö̵̜́ŕ̸̗a̵̫̎b̷̦̍l̶̢̿ê̵̼ funny to watch.

All normal things that happen between roommates! …Okay fine, maybe it wouldn’t be the same if it was Hanzawa or Sasaki, but that doesn’t count, he already knew them! It was all perfectly normal feelings he experienced only- around… Kagi-kun…

As he continued to lay there, one arm over his eyes in a feeble attempt to block out his embarrassment, one thought emerged to the surface of the river of arguments that rushed through his mind.

“...I’ve been so fucking stupid.”

When Kagiura next returned to his dorm room, he found himself hesitating outside the door. For as much as he told himself he’d just play it cool, like Niibashi suggested, he couldn’t help but feel nervous, especially with the mask he was wearing. He knows he shouldn't be, but he is anyway. 

”Well then, here goes nothing!” Taking a deep breath, he opens the door and enters.

“I’m back, Hirano-san!” He spots his roommate lying on his bed, curled up with one arm covering his eyes. He looked exhausted, and he would’ve thought he was asleep until his roommate stirred, looking in his direction.

“...Oh, hey Kagi-kun. Didn’t realize it was that late already.” He stretches as he stands up.

“How do you feel?” He walks further in.

“...A lot better, actually. The nurse said it was just a minor cold, and getting all the rest I did feels like it did wonders..”

Kagiura didn’t miss that he wouldn’t look him in the eye, even if he tried to cover it up with subtle actions like adjusting his hair. 

“Does he remember then…? No! I can’t point it out, even if it is the case. Just wait for him, like Niibashi said.” Sitting down on his bed, Kagiura set down his bag, before he remembered something else he was going to do.

“Oh yeah, these are from Hanzawa-san. I ran into him on the way back, but he got pulled away for something.” He hands over the notes Hanzawa gave him. 

“...Oh, thanks.” Hirano takes the notes out of his hand, again, not quite looking him in the eye.

The awkwardness lasted until they each left for their baths at their regular times. Both boys just kind of tip-toed around each other, not really knowing what to say.

As Hirano was making his way back to the room, Hirano finally decided he couldn’t take it anymore.

“What the fuck is wrong with me?! I finally realize how I feel, I know Kagi-kun feels the same about me, so why can’t I just fucking say it?! ” He internally seethed. He’d thought about ripping the band-aid off right when Kagiura had gotten back from practice, but for some reason he hesitated, and Kagiura definitely noticed, and now things were awkward again! ”Damn it! ”

 When he realized he was just staring at his door, he jolted and rushed inside, probably slamming the door accidentally, if Kagiura’s startled jump was anything to go by.

“...Welcome back?” Kagiura said, unsure.

Taking a deep breath, Hirano walks in and looks Kagiura dead in the eyes.

“Alright, things are awkward between us again, and I already can’t stand it. So… I’ll just come out and say it. Or I’ll try to, at least, if i can find the fucking words already... ”

Kagiura just stared at him, his face betraying nothing.

“Well… I remember what I said to you last night.”

Kagiura jolts ever so slightly, his eyes widening.

“And… I meant what I said.” After a brief pause, he continues. “I won’t pretend to know how any of this works, or if this changes anything between us too much but… I want to try, actually try, this time.” Another pause. “I’m so, so fucking sorry Kagi-kun, that it took me this long to get my head on straight.” His eyes were starting to water.

Kagiura still continued to stare, his eyes widening even more somehow.

“It was only when my head was an incoherent mess that I finally made the connection, guess that’s all it takes sometimes…” He let out an awkward chuckle, but when he saw that Kagiura, again, still hadn’t moved, he started to worry. It wasn’t too late, was it?

“...I’m not imagining this, right Hirano-san?” Kagiura finally moves, standing up to meet him face to face. “I didn’t fall asleep and started dreaming this, right? ”

With a warm smile, the warmest, most genuine smile he’s had on his face in ages, he responds with, “No, Kagi-kun. This is real.” He cups Kagiura’s face with one hand. “...Or, if you’re still unsure, we could find out if this is a dream after all.” He holds up his other hand, now balled in a fist, playfully of course.

Before he could do anything with his false threat, though, he found himself being tackled backwards towards his bed in a massive bear hug. Consequently, they found themselves half-lying on, half-hanging off the side of Hirano's bed.

“Ah!? Hey- Careful! You could hurt someone doing tha..-” He trails off, seeing Kagiura nuzzling himself into his shoulder. His eyes were dripping with tears, but he also had that ever-familiar smile on his face. “Kagi-kun…?”

“Words can’t describe just how happy I am right now Hirano-san!” His voice was breaking slightly. “After what happened, I wasn’t sure I would ever get to hear you say those words…” 

Hearing this, Hirano finally hugged his roommate back, slowly rubbing his shoulders. 

“Honestly? I think that’s what finally got me to realize it. I won’t lie, I couldn’t stop thinking about what you said, especially how it made me feel.” He chuckles.

“So you think about me a lot, then?” Kagiura gave a teasing grin.

Snorting, Hirano replies. “We were having a moment, brat. Don’t take it out of context.” His tone took a faux-serious edge, but it only made Kagiura grin even more.

“Mmmm… I love you, so so much Hirano-san!” He nuzzles back into Hirano’s shoulder.

“I love you too, Kagi-kun.” He pats his roommate’s back. “Now could you let me up?”

Kagiura shook his head. “Mm-mm! I wanna stay like this forever! And since we have the day off tomorrow, we can stay like this all day tomorrow, too!” Hirano could swear his smile was radiating sunlight.

He was about to retort, but found that he couldn’t. “...Fine. But seriously, my back is killing me, so-” He shifts, and then proceeds to flip them both into his bed, with Kagiura now lying to Hirano’s side. “There, that’s better.”

“Much better!” Kagiura once again clings to him tightly.

“...So, I take it you intend to stay like this for the rest of the night?”

He doesn’t get a verbal response, instead receiving an excited pleading look on his roommate’s face.

“Just what am I going to do with you?” He lets out a content sigh. “Fine…” After a brief pause, he continues. “From now on, no more holding back between us, okay?”

“Huh?” Kagiura opened his eyes and looked at him, confused.

“You were holding yourself back for so long, wanting to make me comfortable, right?” Kagiura nods. “Well, not anymore. If we’re going to make this work, we need honesty.” He looks over to his roommate. “I want you to show me everything you’ve felt. No more just saying you love me. Be honest with me, and I’ll be honest with you. From now on, we’re equals, nothing more, nothing less.”

“You got it!”

The next day, Kagiura stayed true to his word. Aside from brief periods, Kagiura stayed clinging to Hirano’s side as they laid in Hirano’s bed. At one point they watched some of Kagiura’s games, another point had them try studying, before Hirano decided he didn’t have the energy. That ultimately led to them once again lying in each other’s arms in Hirano’s bed. It was late, now, and both had showered.

“The more that I think about it, the more I realize just how stupid I’ve been.”

“What do you mean, Hirano-san?”

“Us. I mean, it’s only been a day, but ultimately, nothing’s really changed between us, right?”

Kagiura opened his mouth, but then closed it again. “...Huh, you know, you’re right.”

“See? If only I’d realized sooner…”

Kagiura rests one hand on his cheek. “It’s fine, Hirano-san. I wanted you to fall in love with me on your own, it was more than worth the wait.”

“...If you’re sure.”

“Of course!” He beamed. “After all, I get to do this with no time limit!” He yet again nuzzles himself into Hirano’s shoulder.

Chuckling, he responds. “You know, you really didn’t have to constantly limit yourself to 10 seconds per day. I told you even before all this that roommates unintentionally touch each other all the time.”

“I know, but it’s like I said before, I wanted you to fall in love with me on your own.”

“Fair enough.” She stretches. “Okay, I’m tired, let’s turn in.”

“Okay!” 

They both turn out the lights and snuggle back into the bed.

“The new year’s almost here, Kagi-kun. Let’s start it out on a good note, okay?” 

“Wouldn’t have it any other way!” Kagiura beams.