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“So I was thinking that maybe you could come see me play tonight.”
Carmilla placed a mug of hot cocoa in front of Laura as she sat down on the couch next to her. She had just installed a new television for Laura to watch during the day that had a setting that let her know when the phone was ringing or when someone was at the door. It was extremely helpful but occasionally she had to carry Laura from the couch to her bed if she stayed up too late.
“Really?”
Carmilla laughed and gave her a kiss on her temple, “Of course. You know you have actually never seen me do anything but symphonic music. I think it would be nice for you to get a little taste of who I was like before I met you.”
Laura nodded happily and smiled, “I would love to.”
-
When they arrived at the bar, Laura held tightly to Carmilla’s hand as they weaved in and out of the mass of people. Just by the vibrations under her feet she knew that it was extremely loud in there and not the type of loud that she was used to.
Carmilla led her to a table and had her sit down, “Wait here for a bit. I’m going to get everything ready before I perform. If you need anything, text Will.” She placed a piece of paper on the table.
“Will?”
“My brother, cupcake.”
Before Laura could ask any questions, Carmilla walked away to get ready for her set. The blonde sat quietly, observing her surroundings. This was definitely not somewhere again if she could help it. It was dirty and crowded and the thought of her girlfriend performing was the only thing keeping her from losing her mind. Suddenly, she felt it quiet down and the music stopped completely as the lights went out. There was only the fair spotlight shining on the stage. The mingling in the crowd turned to what felt like a murmur and everyone turned to face Carmilla.
The brunette’s guitar was swung behind her back and she stood behind the microphone with a smile on her face. Though she referred to the whole crowd, the only person that she was looking at was Laura.
“I’m going to play an original song tonight before I get into my usual set,” Carmilla signed along as she spoke.
The pair had been practicing a great deal and now they were practically fluent in it. The crowd watched in amazement as she continued on.
“This song is about a person I met that helped me escape an internal darkness by teaching me how to live life a little differently.” She nodded toward a man that accompanied her on the stage, “This here is my brother, Will. He’s going to translate the lyrics through sign language for a special someone. I hope you all like it.”
She began plucking at the strings quietly to introduce the song - the vibrations the only thing Laura could feel.
“ You come around and make the seasons change. You come around and leave the way you came. You come around and wipe the tears away. You make me want to give my heart away. ”
Carmilla kept her eyes trained on the fretboard of her guitar. She knew the notes by heart but the intimacy of it all made it hard for her to look at her girlfriend. “ The way you speak and ease me without words and when you’re gone it makes me toss and turn. You come around and make sure that it hurts...make sure that it hurts when you’re away. ” She looked up to see Laura staring directly at her, hands planted on the table to better feel the vibrations. She tried to look away but once their eyes met, it was nearly impossible. “ Here among the clouds. We are safe and sound. You lift me up .” She played the transition quietly until another light turned on and the drummer began tapping along, “ You come around and light up everything. You stun me with your smile and all you bring. You come around and make me wanna sing... and make me wanna sing my tears away.” The tapping stopped, the light went out, and once again it was only Carmilla and her guitar. “ Here among the clouds, we are safe and sound. You lift me up. ” She repeated the line and looked over at Will who continued to sign the words. She was hoping with everything in her that Laura was understanding her passion. “ You lift me up, ” This time all of the stage lights came on and the entire band accompanied her.
They played the rest of the song as an ensemble until the lights went out once again and every instrument stopped. All that was heard was Carmilla’s voice through the microphone. The audience was silent, the instruments were silent...Laura was silent.
“ You lift me up. ”
The brunette took a deep breath and no one dared say anything until she looked up and instantly the crowd erupted into cheers and applause. Unsurprisingly, Laura’s applause was the only applause that mattered to her.
She swapped her acoustic for her electric guitar and finished the rest of her usual set, a new energy radiating from the crowd. Laura was just as amazed with every song by the simple energy her girlfriend emitted from the stage. On one song, Carmilla had a solo and swung her hair as she got consumed in the music. The smaller woman made a mental note to find reasons to make the brunette swing her hair more often. Her whole stage persona was incredibly sexy and Laura feeling incredibly lucky to be able to take advantage of that behind closed doors. She was the only one who could experience the sexy any time she asked. Now that was a privilege.
-
On the walk home, the couple had their fingers interlocked while Carmilla carried her guitar case in her opposite hand. The walk was silent but the feeling surrounding them was enough to express about a thousand words.
The feeling had not left but Laura, being typical-Laura, could not help but speak.
“You know, if I really needed something then your brother would not have been able to help me.”
Carmilla rolled her eyes playfully, “He was only occupied for one song. Besides, I was watching. If anyone tried to pull something, I would have gotten them before they even had time to think about anything else.”
“How can you be so sure of yourself?”
“I wasn’t watching, did Will do the wrong signs or are you trying to give me a heart attack here?”
“Only teasing, love. You know that you lift me up too, right?”
“Really?”
“Mhm,” she waited as Carmilla unlocked the door before following her into the house, “You have helped me grow and experience so many things that I would have never dreamed of experiencing.”
They sat down on the couch and Laura instantly cuddled into the brunette who sat quietly, tapping her fingers against her girlfriend’s back.
“What are you doing?”
“Writing, I think you’re going to like this next one even more.”
Laura sighed, “I would probably like it even more if I could hear your voice.”
Carmilla paused and took the blonde’s face in her hands, pulling her up so they were eye to eye. “After everything you’ve taught me about feeling, I can’t believe that you’re worried about hearing. You understood what I was saying right?”
“Yes but I want to hear your voice. I know it’s beautiful and the fact that I can’t experience it to it’s full potential is frustrating.”
The brunette shook her head before bringing their lips together, “Sweetheart, you are experiencing it to it’s full potential. You can feel it in a way not many other people can.”
“You know what I mean, Carm,” Laura mumbled as she looked down to toy with her fingers.
Neither of them said anything for a while but they both sat dejected. Laura, because she could not hear the beauty of her girlfriend’s singing and Carmilla, because she was not sure how to fix this situation. There was no easy solution to this. No quick fix, no exception, no loophole.
“We will figure something out.”, Carmilla proposed. “Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, maybe not in a lifetime, but we will figure something out. Until then I will keep singing. I will sing for you, I will sing about you, I will sing to you, I will sing when you wake, I will sing you to sleep, I will sing until I my voice goes hoarse… I will sing until we figure this out.”
“Promise?”
“I Promise.”
She meant it. She was not sure how but somehow, someway they would be able to figure this out.
Laura would be able to hear Carmilla sing.