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“It’s getting late. It’s best if everyone just sets up their tents and goes to sleep.” Marcus declared in an attempt to put an end to the tension that had been cooling down from our silent breaths and quiet staring. I try not to show how relieved I am at him breaking the silence. Serenity glanced at me, asking me to share tents with her eyes. I nod and haul myself up from the cold forest floor.
Serenity and I grab some necessities to put up our shared tent and continue to build it up in silence. Though almost everyone else was speaking to their tent partner for the night, I could not seem to form any words inside my head. All I was thinking about was Calum’s death, and all I could hear was how he screamed when he realized he was already dead.
Serenity hammers in the last hook, and signals for me to enter inside with her. I crouch to open the tent, zipping it up and walking inside. Serenity follows right behind me and we lay down next to each other. Suddenly, I feel Serenity’s fingers delicately fall onto my cheek, and she turns my head towards her. For some reason, I feel my heart beating faster than usual. “What’s the
matter?” She asks, stroking my cheek. “Hm?” I try to respond as vaguely as possible, hoping to brush it off and act as if it was just the argument from earlier that had gotten to my head.
“I can tell when something is going on in that head,”She smiles slightly as she continues, “you can talk to me.” I try to gather my words before speaking, but we end up laying there for a couple more minutes before I speak again. “Calum died earlier.” I decide to go for a quick answer.
“I know,” She nods “I saw.” Though she isn’t smiling anymore, something about the way she looks at me is comforting. I feel tears build up onto the bottom of my eyes, and instead of holding them in I suddenly give into them and bury myself into Serenity’s chest. I feel her hands move from my cheek to my shoulder blade, and she pulls me into her. It won’t bring Calum back, but having Serenity hold me again feels like home.
I sniffle and lift my head up, now looking directly up at Serenity’s face. I smile at her, attempting to somehow laugh my grief off again. But she doesn’t smile back. Instead, she glides her hand over to my eyes and wipes away my tears. It makes me feel a bit weird, and I can feel the tips of my ears starting to glow red.
Serenity sits me up and holds me by my shoulders. We hold a brief moment of eye contact and she smiles gently at me before pulling me in for a hug. “It’s gonna be okay.” She whispers. Her voice glides like honey into the air and I almost burst into tears again but she pulls away before I can. Now, our faces are only about 2 inches apart and she’s still smiling at me. I focus on how the corners of her lips curl up, and how most of her lipstick has faded off. I don’t even notice how much I’m staring at her lips, until they seem to get closer to me. Shocked, I look up at Serenity’s eyes. We make a second of eye contact again, and she moves on to me further.
As our lips touch, the world seems to stop. Everything outside is quiet, no one is fighting, and just for a moment, the world is just me and Serenity inside of a cold tent. Her soft hands brush down my arms, and I move my hands up to her head. Her touch is a feeling like nothing I have ever felt before, and as wrong as it might be, I never want to stop feeling it. And that’s exactly what it is. Wrong.
Quickly, I pull away from her and move backwards. Even though I’m looking at my knees, I can feel the hurt on her face. I zip the tent open and run out of it.