Chapter Text
Rooke returns to his bedroom about a quarter past seven. He had woken up rather early to double check that the staff had correctly prepared everything for today’s council luncheon. He has two mugs of breakfast tea in his hands; one a little sweeter than the other to help Sterling kick start his system. Rooke nudges the door shut with his socked foot and is greeted with a sight he swears he will never tire of seeing. Sterling has managed to take up the entire bed and subsequently took Rooke’s pillow hostage, holding it in a death grip. His face is obscured by the pillows, and his hair is strewn around his head like a halo, or a rather large bird’s nest. Rooke can’t decide. He looks warm and soft in the dimly lit room, and Rooke feels suddenly jealous of the sheets that are wrapped around him. Something deep within him screams that he should be the only one allowed to hold Sterling like that.
Rooke sets Sterling’s mug on the side table and settles himself against the headboard behind Sterling’s head. He takes a long drink of his tea as Sterling takes a deep waking breath. Sterling rolls away from Rooke as he arches his back with a slack sleepy stretch, and Rooke gently rubs the tension out of Sterling’s lower back with the top of his foot. “Morning darling.” Rooke says fondly as he sets his mug down beside other. Sterling mumbles something incomprehensible as he lifts himself off the bed to rub his eyes and look at Rooke. Rooke starts to reach for the mugs again when two hands grab behind his knees, and he is quickly yanked down the bed with a startled yelp. Sterling’s head quickly takes up residence upon Rooke’s stomach, as he finds himself in the same predicament his pillow was previously in. Held hostage by a clingy Elven man. However, all the determination to have a productive morning leaves Rooke’s body as soon as he sinks his fingers into the wonderfully wild mess of Sterling’s white hair.
“Our tea’s going to get too cold to drink Ster,” Rooke prods. Sterling hugs him closer and honest to god whines like a petulant child. Rooke lifts Sterling’s head up and plants a kiss to his hairline with a smile. Sterling groans and stretches as he pushes himself up and sits back on his knees facing Rooke, who is still propped awkwardly against the headboard. “Why’d you leave me so early?’ Sterling questions as Rooke hands him his mug.
They quickly switch places. Sterling sitting against the pillows and headboard, and Rooke perched crossways between his legs. “I had to make sure everything was in order for this afternoon,” Rooke replies as he hooks his knees over Sterling’s thigh and leans into his arms, “I told you I had to be up early at dinner last night.” Sterling nuzzles into Rooke’s hair and murmurs, “It’s not fair… why do you have to be so competent?” Rooke looks at him quizzically, and he continues. “I mean don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to stay. I want to spend every moment with you, waking and sleeping.” Rooke’s expression softens as he catches Sterling’s pouting lips in a kiss, “I hate that every moment we spend together makes the thought of you leaving me more painful.” Rooke hides his face back in Sterling’s chest as he says, “Please don’t leave me. I don’t want to go back to a time when I wake up without you by my side.” Sterling lets out a shaky breath that hitches despite his best efforts, “I’m trying Roo. I promise I am.” They stay like that, quietly sipping their tea, and basking in the one another’s touch. A silent prayer passing between the two that this morning never ends.
◊
All too soon, a letter with an unmistakable red seal is handed to Sterling at breakfast. Sterling unfolds it and his brow furrows. Rooke’s face pales with realization. This is ‘the’ letter they have been collectively dreading. Sterling’s sabbatical has come to an end, and Rooke feels like the room is crashing down around him. He looks to Sterling who quickly averts his eyes to avoid his gaze. Sterling chooses instead to look to Rune and read a portion of the letter aloud. The Gnomes unrest has reached a fever pitch, so the Goblin kingdom is calling ‘all hands-on deck’ to try and negotiate peace with the Gnomes. After the last milti-kingdom war, well… no one is keen on repeating that. The entire table turns to look at Rooke when he stands a bit to quickly, almost knocking over his chair. Rooke ducks his head and nearly sprints out of the room. His padded foots steps disappear down the hall quickly. Sterling deflates as his head drops to the table atop the open curse of a letter. A letter which places a red seal of fate upon Sterling’s future and free-will. Rune and Sage share a knowing glance across the table and silently excuse themselves to finish their tea in Sage’s study.
Sterling approaches the door to Rooke’s room cautiously, as he tries and fails to decide what he is going to say when he does see him. He softly knocks as he pushes the door open, but upon further inspection the room is empty. Sheets rumpled, just as they had left this morning. Sterling walks to the window, which overlooks the private garden. There, perched upon a chair, staring into the koi pond is Rooke. Sterling stops to breathe in the moment and commit it to memory. Rooke is everything to him, and that scares him, a lot. He looks so small curled in on himself like that, blame it on the Faerie genes, but Sterling knows better than anyone how strong he is.
Sterling approaches Rooke slowly, and sits down on the ground, back leaning against the chair Rooke is sitting on. He tilts his head back to look at Rooke, and Sterling feels as through his heart is being ripped from his chest when he sees the tear stains across Rooke’s pale skin. Sterling is on his knees with Rooke wrapped up in his arms in a flash. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Sterling rambles over and over, as any composure he had built up on his walk to the garden vanishes.
Rooke pushes Sterling back far enough to get a good look at his equally watery eyes and he shushes him. “Ster, darling, my sweet boy…” each pet name becoming softer, “we both knew that this was going to come eventually. Maybe not with the threat of war, but we knew you’d get your summons.” Sterling nods sharply, “right.” Rooke stands and reaches down to Sterling, and as he stands to tower over the Faerie, Rooke clears his throat. “I want you to do one thing before you leave,” Rooke continues before Sterling can agree, “Give me tonight? As a promise?” Sterling nods dumbly and is quickly dragged off to Rooke’s quarters.
◊
The next morning the two lay in bed, savoring the too comfortable moment as long as possible. Rooke doses atop Sterling. Sterling had spent the last hour holding Rooke and mapping every freckle across his arms and shoulders while the Fae sipped is tea. He huffs a laugh as he thinks of how cruel life can be. Rooke props his chin upon his hands on Sterling and starts giggling. It’s a ridiculous and beautiful sound. “Whaaaaat?” Sterling drags out the question. “Your so pretty Ster,” Rooke says, and through a breathy laugh he adds, “especially from this totally flattering angle.” Sterling quickly rolls them to the side and grabs a pillow to smother Rooke with. “Oh, fuck you,” Sterling snaps letting Rooke push the pillow away from his face. “Is that an offer?” Rooke says with a shit-eating grin. Without hesitation Sterling shoves the pillow back into Rooke’s face.
After laughing till they could no longer breathe, the two lie side by side, feet tangled, catching their breath. Rooke recovers first and rolls up onto his side. “When are you leaving?” “After lunch,” Sterling replies. Rooke flops back to bed, and his head lolls over to meet Sterling’s gaze, “Go shower and get ready. You’re going to need some extra time since I did an amazing job of making your hair unsalvageable.”
Rooke listens for the bath to start running and then gets up to start packing Sterling’s things up, and if his most comfortable shirt and sweater don’t make it in the bag, oopsie. Rooke hides a letter in the day bag Sterling keeps his valuables in and then settles down on the couch. He picks up a book and reads the same page three times before he drops it to the floor and curls up, face pressed into the back of the couch. Rooke is startled from his catastrophizing spiral when he feels a hand on his back. “Better?” Sterling asks, the word punctuated by him shaking his wet hair out over Rooke. Sterling/s expression breaks into a smile filled with joy as Rooke screeches and curls in on himself. “You are the worst!” Rooke yells, “You know what! I’m glad that your…” but Rooke doesn’t finish the last sentence. He feels as if he might choke on the word ‘leaving’. He doesn’t mean it. He wants more than anything for it to just be a joke.
Sterling leans over him and nudges Rooke’s nose with his. “Roo.” he whispers so gently, as if he’s trying to not spook a deer. In one fluid motion, neither knows who moves first, they lean into a soft kiss. Sterling tries not to crush Rooke as he grabs the ends of the towel around Sterling’s neck and pulls him down over him. When Sterling pulls back for air there are tears gathered in the corners of Rooke’s eyes. He stretches up to kiss them away, warm, salty, heart-wrenching. Rooke looks up at him when he pulls away and says, “Kiss me again. Kiss me until I’m sick of it. That way you must stay with me forever.” Sterling smiles sadly, but a wish is a wish, and who is he to not try his best to give his boyfriend what he wishes for.
◊
Rooke stands back as Sterling’s stuff is packed into his horse Ash’s saddle bags and his sword is placed carefully in its riding sheath. Rune says his goodbye fist the two speaking about something Rooke can’t hear, heads bowed together. Sage is next, and Sterling says something that causes both to glance in Rooke’s direction. Sage grabs Sterling by the forearm and nods, as Sterling seems to thank him for something.
After everyone has left and it is just the two of them left in the stable courtyard. Sterling walks up to Rooke, Ash standing where he’s left like the proper war horse he is. Rooke has his gaze focused intently on a rather interesting rock, as he is avoiding Sterling by any means possible. Sterling hooks two fingers under Rooke’s chin and rases his head until their eyes meet. “I have something for you.” Sterling starts, crossing the chasm that has been created between them by the silence. Rooke’s expression shifts as Sterling raises his hand and takes his signet ring off his finger. Sterling grabs Rooke’s hand and presses the silver ring, warm with his body heat, into the palm of his hand. Rooke starts to protest when Sterling cuts him off. “I promise.” And that’s all he says as Rooke clings to him and he kisses Rooke once more, strong, and sure. They both back away and Sterling swings up onto Ash, and before it all really sinks in. Sterling and Ash are out of sight and Rooke is left standing there with the ring clutched in his fist and his fist pressed, white knuckled, to his chest.
◊
Rooke absorbs himself fully into his work and getting to his extensive reading list. To anyone else this would seem like normal overachieving Rooke behavior, but Sage sees right through his facade of being ‘fine’. It shows though in the little things, his distant eyes when he thinks no one is watching, avoiding Sages study in the evenings, being more critical of himself and his choices in the kitchen than usual, Sage could continue the list forever. It’s been three months since Sterling left and the letters from him have begun to slow, the lack of correspondence quickly feeds Rooke’s internalized downward spiral.
Rune decided to travel to the Goblin kingdom to help his brother in the absence of Sterling and many other head officials. Rune had asked Sage to travel with him, and as much as Sage would love to, he has decided to stay behind with Rooke. Rooke’s rapidly degrading emotional stability has been worrying him. Rune in all his patient understanding just smiles. The nature of Sage’s devotion to he and Rooke’s relationship is one of the many complexities of Sage that Rune has grown to admire. Before Rune departs Sage pulls him into a crushing hug and when Rune pulls back, he tells him, “Take care of your boy, and I’ll see what I can do about freeing Sterling up a little sooner.” Sage laughs and replies, “Knowing him, I’d bet the fact that his return is taking so long is 75% his fault anyway.”
