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“This”
Shizuku buried her head in her knees. Why were the other kids so mean? So what if she didn't get the joke? Why did they immediately start making fun of her.
She sniffed and felt a shadow darken where she sat, “Go away… I don't want to play anymore…” She waved her hand and buried her face deeper in her knees.
“Are you sure?” Wait, this wasn't one of the kids that was being mean to her. Shizuku looked up to a blue haired girl who was extending a hand out to her. The girl wasn't smiling. In fact, she had a more reserved expression.
Shizuku rubbed her eyes with her hand, “Who are you?”
“Kiritani Haruka.” The stoic girl answered, “Me and my friend Minori were going to play with a girl named Airi. Would you like to join?”
Shizuku stared at her for a moment, “Why me?”
“You seemed upset.” Haruka answered, “Do you wanna join?”
Shizuku smiled and took the girl's hand. “I would, Haruka-chan.”
The girl's expression didn't change at all, but a small glimmer of light appeared in her eyes. “Alright, I'll lead you to them.”
They two girls, hand in hand, walked across the playground till they met up with a girl with brown hair and gray eyes, and a short girl with short pink hair and a bandaid on her nose.
“Haruka! You brought someone!” The pink haired girl cheered and looked at Shizuku. “I'm Momoi Airi,” She gestured towards herself, and then at the brown haired girl, “this is Hanasato Minori.”
“Nice to meet you!” Minori chirped and stuck out her hand before she tripped on the crack in the sidewalk and fell on her face.
Airi sighed and helped Minori up while Shizuku smiled, “Hinomori Shizuku.” She said, “Haruka-chan found me at the playground.”
Haruka nodded and looked at Airi, “What did you say we were playing again?”
Airi brightened, “Oh right! I'll explain the rules for you, Shizuku, but basically…”
Shizuku had never had more fun before while at the playground. It had been hard to make friends before, but now she had Minori, Airi, and Haruka.
Haruka was the one who started it all.
And the one who ended it.
“is”
Time stops for no one, and before Haruka knew it, she was sitting around the table with Airi, Minori, and Shizuku. They were preparing to open their letters to see if all of them passed the test into Miyamasuzaka.
“The important thing is that even if we aren't accepted, we'll still be friends!” Airi broke the silence.
Minori gulped, “Yeah!” She took a deep breath, “Yeah, you're right, Airi-chan! Nothing could break our friendship!” Her gaze met with Haruka before she flushed Red and looked back at her envelope.
Haruka smiled at the girls’ antics and looked at Shizuku, who was having a staring contest with her envelope.
“Shizuku?” She called at the light blue haired girl, and Shizuku snapped her head up at Haruka.
“Ah, Haruka-chan…” She smiled nervously before sighing, “I guess I'm just a little nervous…”
“I'm sure you got in Shizuku-chan!” Minori cheered. “But…” Her face fell, “With my bad luck, I doubt that I got in…”
Airi patted Minori on the shoulder, “I'm 100% sure that you got in too, Minori! You know what? Let's all open our letters at once. Haruka, you count us off.”
Haruka nodded and picked up her envelope.
“One…” She started, everyone eyed each other.
“Two…” She moved her fingers to the closing.
“Three!”
Rip!
Minori shrieked and jumped to her feet, pulling up Haruka with her.
Haruka smiled and began to laugh, Airi pulled Shizuku to her feet, and the four girls began to jump up and down with glee.
They would all be going to Miyamasuzaka Girls’ Academy together.
“all”
In Haruka's first year of highschool, she realized something.
She fell in love with Shizuku.
However, Shizuku was always swarmed by other girls who wanted to be her friend. It was only a matter of time before a random girl asked her out, and Shizuku would say yes.
And the thought made Haruka’s chest tighten painfully.
Was this normal? To fall in love with a childhood friend and wish you were their only friend.
No, it was wrong to think that Haruka told herself. However, she didn't exactly see a way out of her dilemma.
Sighing, Haruka rested her head on her desk before a girl with teal pigtails walked into the classroom. Assuming she just wanted to see Shizuku, Haruka didn't pay her any mind until the girl walked up to her desk.
“Kiritani-san?” The girl asked.
Haruka raised an eyebrow and sat up, “Who are you?”
“Hatsune Miku, I… noticed you were eyeing Shizuku and sighing so I…”
“Oh! Oh, um, no, it's not like that, Hatsune-san. I just, um…” Haruka was stuttering as much as a nervous Minori, not good.
The girl smiled in a strange way before handing Haruka a piece of paper, “It's alright to be jealous, Kiritani-san. Put this on her desk, but don't tell anyone you got it from me.”
Haruka looked at the paper confused. She put it into her backpack, “Thank you, Hatsune-san.”
“Don't mention it, Kiritani-san.” She smiled in that strange way again. “Seriously, though. I won't talk about our meeting.”
Haruka looked up from her bag, but Hatsune was gone. Shrugging, she opened the paper up and felt her heart drop.
“What kind of sick…” She put a hand to her mouth.
Was she supposed to tell Shizuku to kill herself?
“your”
Haruka could vomit. She did it. She put the white flowers in a vase and then placed the vase on Shizuku's desk.
And so, she does vomit. When she has the chance to, she runs to the bathroom and vomits in the toilet.
Heaving, she sits against the stall door and washes her mouth out with her water bottle.
“Haruka?” A voice calls.
Crap.
“Airi?” Haruka croaks out. She tries to stabilize herself by tracing the curves in the floor, but it smells too strongly of vomit so she can hardly think.
“I… I made a mistake, Airi…” Haruka sniffs, she can't help it. She just told one of her best friends (and crush) to kill herself, anonymously, for her own selfish gain. So that she'd be her only friend. Haruka could vomit again.
“Haruka…” Airi's voice sounds soft. “I'm sure it's not that bad…”
“It is, Airi! It's so awful that I feel sick!” She holds a hand over her mouth. “I want to throw up.”
“I can smell it.” Airi sighs, “Open the door and I'll help you clean up.”
Haruka sits up and slowly unlocks the stall door, she probably looks like a wreck, but Airi doesn't mention it and helps Haruka clean up.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Airi asks softly. Haruka shakes her head.
“I made a huge mistake. To Shizuku. Don't tell her.” Is all Haruka's willing to say, Airi simply shakes her head.
“No matter what, she'll forgive you Haruka, but I promise I won't say.” Haruka is positive that Shizuku won't forgive her, but she stays silent and lets Airi help clean her up.
Soon, she can't feel the sickening feeling on her skin anymore and Airi is walking her back to class, Minori runs out of the classroom.
“Guys! Shizuku… she… she…” Minori is fumbling with her words and there's tears in the corner of her eyes and Haruka can smell the vomit all over again.
“Woah, Minori calm down! Breath in and out and tell us what happened.” Airi takes Minori’s hand and looks into the classroom.
There's a vase of flowers on Haruka’s desk. White flowers.
Airi looks at Haruka and there's no warmth from earlier when she was cleaning her up. Her gaze is entirely cold and she pulls Minori closer.
She knows, Haruka realizes, she knows that it was me.
“Let's go outside, okay?” She talks to Minori in the same comforting tone as the brunette cries while mumbling “Who would do this?”. While walking away with Minori, she looks back at Haruka.
“You promised.” Haruka mouths to the pink haired girl walking away.
Airi glares at her with nothing more than disdain and disgust before walking away with Minori. Haruka knows that she won't go back on her promise, but she still feels sick.
She wants to cry until she disappears into dust, but instead she brushes herself off and enters the classroom.
“Shizuku?”
The girl has her face buried into her knees and she looks up at Haruka.
“Haruka-chan…” She sniffs and drinks some of her water. “Should…should I really just die?”
Haruka feels her heart being squeezed painfully and she rubs Shizuku’s back.
“No. You shouldn't.” Haruka reassures before looking out the window where it overviews the courtyard.
Haruka gasps as she spots a pair of teal pigtails.
In the courtyard is Hatsune.
And she's staring right at Haruka while smiling.
“Don't mention it, Kiritani-san.” She mouths before skipping out of the school gates and on her way home.
Haruka wants to break down.
“fault.”
Airi won't let Minori talk to Haruka. And she won't talk to Haruka either.
Haruka thinks she feels guilty. She feels guilty over how she promised Haruka she wouldn't tell Shizuku, and now she can't tell Shizuku that her closest friend is the one who started this hell.
In a span of three weeks, Haruka has become Shizuku’s only friend.
Everything happened so fast. Haruka doesn't know when fawning over Shizuku turned into bullying her. When the other girls quickly realized that the prettiest girl was just a weak link to dispose of.
Or when Haruka started to feel okay with what she did.
This was what she wanted, she wanted to be Shizuku’s only friend, but now there's consequences.
Airi looks at Haruka as if she was the scum of the earth. Minori still blushes whenever she meets Haruka’s eyes, but now Haruka's sure that Airi told her to avoid her. Maybe that’s for the best.
Haruka knew about Minori's crush on her since they were kids, however she doesn't want to find out how heartbroken she'll be when she finds out that she's been in love with Shizuku.
Haruka was a fool to believe those were the only consequences.
One day, Shizuku doesn't show up at school. The day passes on as it usually would, besides the absence of Shizuku.
Haruka asks the teacher, but she's met with nothing.
“Her parents didn't say that she was going to be out.” Is what she replies with before moving on to the lesson.
Haruka's mildly worried, but doesn't think too much of it until the day passes and not even a message from Shizuku.
Haruka sighs and checks the time on her phone. She's waiting for Shizuku to reply to her message before she heads home.
“You might wanna check the train tracks.” A cheeky voice says.
Haruka turns around, “Hatsune-san?”
Hatsune nods, still smiling, “I have the feeling that's where she went. Although, I think you're too late already.”
“Too late for what?”
Hatsune’s smile grows wider and she starts walking away, “Goodbye, Kiritani-san!”
Haruka stares at her fading figure before deciding to make her way to the train tracks.
Although, she doesn't like what Hatsune implied.
Shizuku’s transparent figure points at Haruka from across the train tracks.
“This is all your fault.” Is all she says, but Haruka feels like her heart has been gouged out with a rusty knife.
Because Hatsune was right. She was too late.
She smiles at Shizuku before tears begin to run down her face and she buries her face in her hands.
Shizuku simply stares at Haruka until the blue-haired girl walks onto the tracks.
She looks at her ghostly figure and hears the “ding-ding-ding” as the lights and bells announce that a train is coming.
“I'll make it up to you, Shizuku.” Haruka whispers and the train's lights signal her end.
She lets the trains whisk her away from this world where she made too many mistakes. Where she ruined everything.
She just wants a restart.
“This is all your fault.” Shizuku repeats as Haruka is whisked away to her restart.