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Do stay alive.
That was what Ratio’s note had said. Aventurine had already made his mind up, but to know that someone cared… that had given him the courage to move forward with hope in his heart.
Then he’d stepped into the void.
It was nothing.
Endless emptiness.
True loss.
The next day he is free.
It doesn’t take Aventurine long to pack up his things. He didn’t own much by way of personal possessions these days. He only had the one memento of his family, a tattered piece of his father's shirt. The fabric, once soft and sturdy, was now worn thin and frayed at the edges. He wore it strapped around his arm. The rest of his belongings were all function and flare, just his silk pyjamas and other fancy clothes.
He has no real relationships to speak of, so he didn't have much worth keeping. He hadn’t brought much with him, though he had recently been given… Well, he thought he’d been given some cats. He isn’t completely sure who sent them, but it had been love at first sight. The three little pudding creatures look up at him expectantly, their soft, jelly-like bodies wobble as he carries them to the hotel lobby. They’re stacked together of course. He can’t imagine a more convenient shape for pets. Their warm, squishy forms pressed against his chest give him some comfort.
He finds Topaz quickly, and squabbles with her until Jade steps in to scold them both. He bids farewell to the trailblazer and heads out with the others. His gaze wandered to Jade as they walked. He hasn’t seen her or Topaz in person since before this whole ordeal in Penacony, yet he can’t help but feel as if something is missing.
It’s not that he expects them to comment on what had happened to him. That would be unusual for them. He’d died, and they all know it. Yet here he is, rescued by a Knight of Beauty from the depths of the void. Had that been part of the plan? Is nobody going to address it? Argenti certainly hadn’t been aware of any scheme. Had it merely been Aventurine’s own luck, once again?
Aventurine is familiar with the way of things. They would move on to the next mission. He is off the hook for now. And yet he still can’t shake the sense that something is amiss.
He had come back and immediately been held at gunpoint by a Galaxy Ranger, who insisted he stay in his room until he got what he wanted. That had barely made him flinch compared to the void.
The void had left him with an unfamiliar emotion. Something new, or perhaps too distant to recognise, but it was there now. Perhaps he simply refused to acknowledge it.
He checks his phone. Nothing.
“I need a break.” He tells Jade. Her expression remains unchanged, though he knows her well enough, “Just a few days.” He adds. She studies him carefully for a while, then nods.
“Of course. Make it count.” She says, her voice even. She steers Topaz away and they head to the IPC ship.
Aventurine no longer has a room at the Reverie, so he simply sets his cats down and stands there a while, pushing down that emotion he refuses to name. With his plan fulfilled, and his trip coming to a close, he’s unsure what to do with himself. Perhaps he should have left with the others, but his head is a mess. He ought to get his head back in the game before resuming work.
His work had never felt like a chore before. He was a natural after all. But now as he stood there contemplating returning to the IPC, that feeling grew worse. It clawed at him in a way that made his stomach lurch. But what should he do then?
It’s just a few days off. Why does it feel like such an important decision? Why is that thing growing no matter how hard he tries to suppress it? His chest clenches and his throat is too tight. He needs air.
“Aventurine?” He turns toward the familiar voice, his eyes growing wide. Ratio is standing there. A book clatters to the floor at his feet, falling open. Aventurine’s heart stops.
“R…” He can barely speak, his whole body shaking too much. The book lays abandoned as Ratio runs toward him. Aventurine has never seen him run before. A moment later warm, strong arms embrace him. “Ratio…” His lip quivers and his voice threatens to crack.
He expects Ratio to let go of him at any moment. To brush everything off and be his usual cold self, so he hesitates. Or perhaps he is still in the dream, because there is no way Veritas Ratio is holding him so sweetly, so close.
“Are you alright?” Ratio asks quietly, almost a whisper. Had his voice always been so soft? He hadn’t been alright. He’d been completely lost and yet…
“Yes.” He chuckles, and the sound comes out a little distorted. Ratio’s thumb brushes over his cheek, wiping away something wet, “Oh…”
Ratio takes his hand and silently leads him away. Aventurine scoops up his stack of cats as Ratio takes him out of the hotel lobby. He doesn’t pay much attention to where they’re going. He’s too busy staring at their hands, and trying not to think about how comforting his touch is.
“It was you… You sent that knight?” Aventurine asks quietly as they walk. Ratio says nothing. He leads him onto a little shuttle that takes them both to his ship.
The space vessel is surprisingly humble in its design, given Ratio’s tastes. The scholar places his hand on the security panel to grant the access, then ushers Aventurine inside.
He hasn’t thought to protest. In fact the more time passes with Ratio still holding his hand, the more curious he is about what the scholar is planning. Then again, Aventurine is usually extremely patient, but with this strange feeling gnawing at him, there’s a sense of desperation accompanying it. An urgency for answers. For the truth.
Ratio lets go of his hand and sets a course at the control panel while Aventurine sets his cats down. They meow up at him in protest from all the moving around, their adorable round eyes blinking together. He smiles apologetically at them just as Ratio turns to face him.
“Whether a knight… or myself, I would have got you out of there one way or another. Argenti was the logical choice with his particular talents, however… I wish I could have gone to you sooner, but I had to be sure.” His words made Aventurine’s heart clench, his breathing out of control all over again.
“Sure of what?” He hated how vulnerable he sounded. Ratio frowned.
“That you made it back, of course.”
This time Aventurine flung his arms around Ratio, clinging to him tightly and burying his face in the other man’s chest.
“Why…” He can’t say the rest. Why me? Why do you care? Because he can’t bare to have Ratio tell him he’s mistaken. That it's just part of their arranged partnership. Ratio gently cups his jaw, making Aventurine look up into his eyes.
“Your worth is not defined by what I want.”
“I know that.” Aventurine smiles, “But I want to know.” He waits expectantly as Ratio’s hands linger on his skin, his gaze filling with something that makes him blush.
“I want you to live… for yourself. I want you to love and care about yourself as I…” Ratio exhales slowly, his fingertips trailing slowly down my jaw as he leans closer, “As I do.”
That feeling that had been clawing at him since he had left the void, that had been eating away at him and crushing him under its weight, burns away. In its place, Aventurine’s heart beats faster in his chest. No amount of anxiety could make him misunderstand those words. They are crystal clear, because Ratio looks at him with eyes that reflect his sincerity, his warmth.
That warmth blooms inside Aventurine, spreading through him like wildfire. He can finally move. He can finally breathe.
He grabs Ratio, thrusting his hands into the taller man’s hair and pulls him into a deep kiss. Ratio makes a muffled sound, but then he holds him tighter. He kisses Aventurine just as desperately, just as fervently. Everything about him feels right, from the firm press of his body to the gentle, electric touch of his fingertips. He holds Aventurine like he wants him. Like he matters.
This is what he’d been missing. What he’d been longing for. Someone who truly cares about him. Who makes him feel like he belongs.
“I think you left your book in the hotel.” Aventurine chuckles. Ratio rolls his eyes.
“It hardly matters.”
“You didn’t check out.”
“I’ll call later.”
“Was I truly that distracting, Veritas?”
“...Yes. Happy?”
Aventurine kisses him softly, admiring the way cheeks flush,
“Yes.”