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Steve knew this stage would come sooner or later, and if he was being honest, he would have preferred later. His son was only two and half years old, and though Steve loved him more than anything, the little boy could be a handful. All of the parenting books and even his friends had mentioned the terrible twos to him a few times. He didn’t know why he thought maybe he’d be lucky enough to skip that part. Peter was an easy baby and hardly gave them any trouble, but now that he was a toddler and capable of getting around more and building a vocabulary, he’s become a terror.
The living room is a mess of toys and books and whatever else Peter could get his hands on. Steve tried and failed to pick up the space, knowing Peter was just going to throw another fit.
One glance at the clock on the wall shows it’s thirty minutes past Peter’s nap time. Steve usually has him down by now, but ever since lunch, Peter’s been in a mood. Getting him to sleep now was going to be a struggle Steve wasn’t prepared for. His husband wasn’t due home for another four hours, leaving Steve to deal with their son until then.
It was going to be a long four hours.
“Ow!” Steve cries out when something hard collides with his head. He grabs the back of his head and looks around for the object responsible for causing the throbbing in his head, and he’s met with a blue wooden block. Peter is standing near the sofa, his arms crossed over his chest and a frown on his face. “Pete, we don’t throw things. That wasn’t nice.”
“No!” Peter shouts. It’s been his new favorite word since he’s learned it.
Steve heaves out a sigh and stares at his son for a few moments, unsure of how to proceed. He understood his son had a lot of big feelings he didn’t know how to process yet and yelling at him for throwing things didn’t seem like the way to go.
“It’s nap time.”
“No!”
Steve sighs again. “Come on, Petey. I’ll read you your favorite book. Do you want to read that?”
Peter shakes his head. “No!”
“If you take a nap then Daddy will—”
“No!”
Steve frowns. He knew he could be a stubborn son of a bitch, but Peter definitely inherited this attitude from Tony. That was the only explanation Steve had.
“Fine. Have it your way. Papa’s gonna be sad you’re acting like this.”
Just the mention of Tony has Peter perking up. “Papa?” He asks, and looks toward the front door. He points at it and looks at Steve again. “Papa?”
“Papa’s at work.” Steve immediately regrets those words when he notices the way his son’s eyes fill with tears. He winces. “Pete, I’m sor—”
Peter starts to scream again, his face turning red and tears rolling down his chubby cheeks. Peter throws himself to the floor and continues to cry. His performance is dramatic and over the top, reminding Steve of his husband.
Steve heaves out a sigh and runs his fingers through his hair. “Tony, please come home soon,” he says to himself.
Peter just screams again.
Tony arrives home sometime after five. The apartment is strangely quiet, but looks as if a tornado has been through it. Toys and books and plastic sippy cups litter the floor of the living room. The kitchen is in an even worse state.
“Jesus. What the hell happened?” Tony mutters to himself. He moves along, going up the stairs, loosening his tie as he goes, relieved to be free from a boring day of meetings. “Steve?” He calls out to his husband once he reaches the second level. He doesn’t get a response.
It’s not until he pushes open the door to Peter’s room does he find his son and husband. Steve is sitting cross-legged on the floor while Peter babbles and places a star sticker on Steve’s cheek. Peter giggles and happily claps his hands together, then he takes another sticker to place it on Steve’s eye.
“Not there, Pete,” Steve says, removing the sparkly unicorn sticker.
Tony hasn’t been noticed yet, and he takes the opportunity to lean against the doorframe and watch with amusement as Peter puts more stickers on Steve’s face. Peter grows bored of that quickly and picks up a purple marker, happily scribbling it along Steve’s chin.
“Are you trying to make me look like Papa? Is that it?” Steve chuckles and reaches out to tickle their son’s belly.
Peter giggles and goes in for another round of scribbles, only to notice Tony and gasp. “Papa!” He points, then drops the marker and runs to Tony, throwing up his hands and demanding he be picked up, crying as if Steve had just been ignoring him and Tony was the one to save him.
“Aw, kiddo, what’s wrong?” Tony scoops Peter up and cuddles him close.
Steve scoffs and gets up. “That’s fake, Tony. We were just having a good time.”
“I don’t know, Cap. The kid’s crying real tears.”
Steve rolls his eyes and comes over to greet Tony with a kiss. “How were the meetings?”
“Boring. How was it being a human canvas?”
“Hilarious. By the way, your son is a terror.”
“My son? Last time I checked it takes two to make a baby.”
“I didn’t think the baby would be a carbon copy of you.”
Tony’s jaw falls open and he holds Peter closer. “Rude. I’m offended. We’re both offended.”
“He’s definitely your son,” Steve says, turning away to pick up the mess Peter left behind. “I’m used to him throwing tantrums but this was a new level. A Tony Stark one.”
“Honey, I love you, but I’m sorry. I can’t take you seriously when you have shiny stickers and purple marker on your face.”
Steve faces Tony and frowns. “Don’t make me throw this Lego at you.”
Tony laughs. “I think you need a break. You’re the one who wanted to stay home.”
“Because you wanted to work. I swear I love being home with him but sometimes…”
“I get it. Last week was hell when you were on that mission. I guess it’s a good thing we’re one and done, huh?”
“Are we?”
“Yes?”
“I guess…” Steve trails off with a sigh. “No, you’re right. We don’t need another.”
“Are you having second thoughts?”
“No. Yes. Maybe?”
“Oh God.” Tony groans and leaves the room, Peter still in his arms.
“What did I say!” Steve calls out.
“I’m not having another baby!” Tony calls back.
After dinner and bath time, Peter passes out. Steve doesn’t voice how jealous he is that Peter happily allowed Tony to get him ready for bed. To be honest, he does appreciate the peace and quiet. His entire day was spent with a screaming toddler and Bluey. He had nothing against the dog…his son…that was another issue.
“And he’s out like a light,” Tony says, coming into the kitchen and heading toward the fridge to retrieve the bottle of wine they didn’t finish from dinner. “You want a glass?”
“Please,” Steve replies as he finishes drying Peter’s outer space plate.
Steve gladly accepts the glass and he chugs most of it down. Tony watches, smirking and shaking his head.
“Was it really that bad?” Tony asks, then he takes a sip from his own glass.
“It could’ve been better. I don’t know what happened. Everything seemed fine and then you left.”
“My schedule is free tomorrow so you don’t have to worry about any more fits. You don’t have anything right?”
“I don’t think so.” Steve frowns. “Nick hasn’t needed me much since Sam took over.”
“Let’s hope it stays that way.” Tony leans against the counter with a heavy sigh. He moves his neck from side to side, trying to get the cricks out of it.
“Need a massage?”
Tony scoffs. “Easy there, Capsicle. That’s how we got our little terror.”
“He’ll grow out of it,” Steve says and he moves closer to Tony, setting his glass down so that he can wrap his arms around Tony and pull him in close. Steve smiles down at Tony, then he leans in to kiss him, starting off slow and soft before the kiss becomes heated.
Tony sucks in a breath when Steve’s lips attach to his neck. Steve gently sucks and bites the sensitive skin, his hands trailing down to grope Tony’s ass. Tony pulls away and places a hand over Steve’s chest to slightly push him back.
“Too much?” Steve asks, his brows furrowed.
“I’m usually not opposed to this but we have to be careful. One and done, remember?”
“Right. I have a few condoms left. Or…”
“I swear to God if you suggest I get on something…”
Steve huffs out a laugh and pulls Tony close again. “I’ll get fixed. Then we won’t have to worry anymore.”
“You’re serious?”
“Yeah. We’re sure we don’t want anymore so why not?”
“Okay. I mean if you’re sure.”
“I’m sure.”
“Then I guess we better use up the rest of those condoms. We’re not gonna need them later.” Tony smirks, his fingers flirtatiously drawing circles over Steve’s chest.
Steve lifts Tony into his arms and carries him upstairs.
“Ow ow ow.” Steve hisses and slowly lowers himself down onto the sofa. He mutters a curse and throws his head back, his eyes squeezing shut.
Somewhere beside him he can hear Peter babbling, then Peter sounds closer, and it’s not long until a sticky hand is touching him. Steve opens his eyes and glances down at his son, meeting his smiling face.
“Hey, Petey, what are you up to?”
Peter says something Steve doesn’t quite catch but he nods along as if he understands. Peter happily picks up one of his Hot Wheels cars and babbles, before dropping it and running to his toy bin in the corner to grab another toy. He squeals in excitement and rushes back over to Steve, this time throwing himself onto his lap.
Steve cries out, the pain he’s been feeling all day dialed up and wracking through him. Steve curls up, both hands darting down to cup himself between the legs.
Tony rushes in, a frozen ice pack in hand. “Oh shit,” he mutters, then runs over to Steve to lift Peter away. “Hey, kiddo, Daddy doesn’t feel good so we can’t jump on him, okay?”
Peter pouts and lays his head on Tony’s shoulder, occasionally glancing over at Steve.
“He thinks you’re mad at him,” Tony says.
Steve groans and slowly breathes through the pain. “Give me a minute and I’ll make it up to him.”
“Do you want the ice pack or something else?”
“I want the pain to go away.”
“You’re the one who wanted to get snipped.”
“I don’t regret it. This is just the worst pain I’ve ever felt. You wouldn’t understand.”
Tony scoffs. “I wouldn’t understand? Did you forget I gave birth?”
“Oh shit. Tony, I didn’t mean—”
“Save it. I hope Pete gets you in the balls again.”
“Tony, I’m sorry. Honey, please?”
Steve’s well aware of the fact that he’s the puppy dog look on his husband. Tony used it whenever he wanted and Steve fell for it every single time. Even their son was picking it up and using it on them. Tony claimed he was immune to it and refused to fall for it whenever Peter used it, but Steve hopes it works for him.
“Fine, but don’t say stupid shit like that again. What do you need?”
Steve perks up and he sits up straight, the pain between his legs beginning to taper off. “The ice pack…and a kiss?”
Tony rolls his eyes but comes over anyway, handing Steve the icepack. Then he leans in to connect their lips. “Better?”
Steve smiles. “Better. Can Pete hang out with me?”
“You sure?”
“Yeah. We can watch a movie or something.”
Tony doesn’t hesitate to pass their son over to Steve. “Have fun. I’m gonna tinker for a bit. Don’t hesitate to call for help.”
“I think we’ll be fine. Right, Bud?”
Peter giggles and happily jumps in Steve’s lap, causing him to cry out in pain again. Tony’s eyes widen and he quickly snatches Peter up.
“You know what…maybe he can hang out with you for a while,” Steve manages to get out, his face twisted in pain and his hands between his legs.
Tony nods. “Good idea.”
The team is gathered in the common room, unwinding after a long day. Tony and Peter are already with their friends, catching up while Peter sits on the floor and plays with his Legos while he babbles to Sam and Bucky. Steve walks in, still a bit stiff from his recent procedure. He finds an empty spot beside his husband and he carefully lowers himself down, wincing from the linger discomfort.
“Hey, if it isn’t Captain Snip,” Bucky teases and Steve frowns. Bucky just laughs and returns to helping Peter build his tower.
Natasha gets up from her spot to move closer to Steve. “Feeling a little lighter?”
“Really, Nat?” Steve groans.
“Are you really surprised?” Tony asks. “Of course we’re gonna have a field day with this.”
“I regret this,” Steve says.
“I guess you’re gonna have a little brother or sister, Peter,” Sam tells his nephew and Peter frowns at him.
“You better shut your mouth, Wilson. Don’t put that on me. No more kids,” Tony says, grabbing a pillow from beside him and tossing it at Sam, successfully hitting in him the head.
“That’s true,” Bucky says, placing the last block at the top of the tower. “We don’t need anymore Stark kids running around.”
“You guys don’t really want anymore?” Bruce asks.
Steve and Tony share a look, then they glance back at their friends and Steve says, “We’re good with one. Pete’s enough.”
“Darn.” Natasha sighs dramatically. “I was really hoping for a little Natasha.”
“Ask Sam and Bucky to give you that,” Tony says, chuckling when Bucky’s eyes go wide.
Just then, Peter tries to get up to find a new activity, only to lose his balance and fall into his tower, sending the multicolored blocks flying everywhere. Once he realizes what’s happened to his tower, he plops down and cries loudly.
Tony just sighs and shakes his head. “I got it.”
“I see why you’re done,” Sam mutters.
Steve nods. “Yep.”
Steve and Peter are curled up on the sofa watching Bluey, enjoying their rainy and lazy afternoon. Tony promised he would join them, but due to his recent stomach bug, he’s been in bed most of the day. Steve promised to take Peter and keep him entertained so Tony could get some much needed rest.
“I fucking knew it!”
Steve jumps, startled from his husband’s sudden outburst. Even Peter has noticed and he looks away from the screen and toward the stairs. Tony comes down them quickly with something in his hand.
“I thought you were supposed to stay in bed,” Steve says.
“And I thought you weren’t supposed to get me pregnant!” Tony exclaims, coming over and thrusting the pregnancy test into Steve’s face.
Steve’s eyes widen and he takes the test to get a better look. Staring back at him are two pink lines. “Oh fuck.”
“Fuck,” Peter says.
“No! Petey, we don’t say that. Ignore Daddy.” Steve ducks down to kiss Peter’s curls, then he jumps up and moves away to talk with Tony in the kitchen.
“This is unbelievable! How did this happen!” Tony cries out the moment they’re alone.
“I-I don’t know. I got the procedure done. It should’ve worked.”
“If you have super sperm I swear to God…”
“Maybe it was the serum? Tony, I’m sorry. I didn’t know this was going to happen.”
Tony takes a deep breath to calm himself and he leans back against the counter. “Okay, this is fine. We’re fine, right?”
“Yeah. If you don’t want to do this then I’ll support you. Whatever you want to do,” Steve assures, rushing to Tony’s side so he can wrap his arms around him.
“How crazy would it be if I said we should have this baby?”
Steve pulls away. “You sure?”
Tony shrugs. “Yes? I mean, it’s not that bad. We survived two years with Peter so...I don’t know. I think we can handle another one. You’re such a great dad.”
Steve smiles softly. “So are you. And…I love it when you’re pregnant.”
Tony’s expression shifts and he raises a brow. “You did get snipped, right?”
“Yes! I swear I did!”
“Just checking. So are we doing this again?”
Steve nods. “Yes. Let’s have another baby.”
Steve leans in to connect their lips, only to freeze when a loud crash from the living room cuts through their moment.
“Uh-oh!” Peter says from the other room.
Tony heaves out a sigh. “You still want to do this?”
“Bring it on.”