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Sam was curled up as small as he could make himself, arms wrapped around his legs and his head on his arm as he stared ahead. Thoughts flew through his head, disappearing again before he process them, he didn't even feel the cold of the wall at his back or heard his phone ringing in his pocket. It was like he was in a trance, where nothing really registered, just lost in head.
Gabriel tried calling Sam one more time before deciding he wasn't going to answer and he would need to look for him himself. He checked Sam's room, the library, the war room, kitchen, living room and all other rooms Sam usually frequented, but couldn't find a trace of Sam anywhere. He hadn't heard from Sam in a few hours now, while he was supposed to check in.
Sam had no idea how long he sat where he was, wasn't even sure where he was, somewhere in the bunker. He thought he was cold, but the overall numbness was making it hard to know for sure. Finally he had a thought that registered, 'Gabriel'. There was something about Gabriel, wasn't there? He thought for a moment, before it came to him, he needed to get to Gabriel, he promised he would. But he wasn't here.
Gabriel decided he needed to try searching the entire bunker, damn Dean and Castiel for leaving early on their hunt, they could have helped search him for Sam. He began at the entrance and slowly worked his way to the end of bunker, double checking every room, occasionally calling out Sam's name.
Sam moved his head up when he thought he heard his name, he wasn't alone? He was pretty sure they had all left, must have done, the bunker was deserted, it was just him. Alone. Again. “G'briel” Sam croaked out. He wanted, needed, Gabriel. Gabriel gave him his full attention, made him feel safe and warm. It was okay to need affection, he had said. He wanted that.
Gabriel thought he had heard something as he walked through one of the halls near the back of the bunker and felt something in him pulling him in the same direction. It wasn't a strong feeling, but he followed it anyway. He was surprised to see more doors, he had always figured it was a hall leading to an emergency exit. He passed a few doors to the one he felt like he was led to. Gabriel opened the door and immediately spotted Sam, sitting on the floor, and ran to him “Sam!” He dropped down beside Sam, hands on his face, gently lifting his head so he could look into Sam's eyes. “Are you okay?” He let his Grace run through Sam, searching for anything wrong, but finding nothing.
Sam blinked a few times, “Gabriel?” he asked incredulously. He stared into golden eyes, which were creased with concern. He shuddered as the warmth he could feel flowing through him disappeared after a while. “'M cold.” Sam mumbled.
“I'm here, sweetheart, it'll be okay, I'm here.” Gabriel said softly. He slowly moved his hands up Sam's face, brushing his hair back so he could properly see Sam's face. “I know you are, you feel too cold as well.” Gabriel snapped up a blanket and wrapped Sam up before one arm came across Sam's back and the other under his thighs, gently picking him up. “Lets get you somewhere warm, okay?” He softly pressed a kiss to the top of Sam's head as he started walking to Sam's room, Sam cradled in his arms.
Sam clutched the blanket tighter around him and slowly looked around when he was moved. He looked up at Gabriel's face, which looked pinched with concern, then around him. Gabriel was carrying him, like it was nothing. Sam leant his head against Gabriel's shoulder. “I thought you were gone. Left with Dean and Cas.” he said in small voice. Everyone was always leaving him, or dying.
Coming back to find to the bunker empty and silent had been a surprise, since they were all supposed to be here. Sam had taken off his coat and slowly walked through the main rooms, the silence oppressing. It had made him feel restless, some sort of pressure building in his chest. Sam had checked Dean's room and found his bags gone, same in Cas' room. The pressure had built in his chest, breathing becoming a bit harder. He had walked further into the bunker, hoping to find Gabriel, since he was always in the oddest places, exploring the place and seeing what the Men of Letters had laying around. Sam had called out for Gabriel but heard absolutely nothing. The silence had been loud and overwhelming, made him feel closed in, and he couldn't escape it. Eventually Sam had stumbled into a room, trying to escape the feeling of the walls of the halls closing in on him. He had no idea how long he had been in there before Gabriel came to him.
“I couldn't leave you behind all by yourself, now could I? I'd never do that to you, Sam, not without letting you know.” Gabriel said seriously, looking down at Sam. Sweet Sam, who looked up at him, still half dazed, but trusting him nonetheless. Trusting him to take him back to his room, to take care of him, especially since Sam himself wasn't in a state to do so. When Gabriel reached Sam's room he gently nudged the door open with his foot and walked in. “Here we are, Sam. I'm going to put you down on the bed now, okay?” Gabriel explained gently. He did not want Sam to slip again because he had no idea what Gabriel was doing. He carefully laid Sam down on the bed, taking care the blanket stayed around Sam. Gabriel bent over Sam and softly pressed a kiss to his temple, “I'm just going to take my shoes off, then I'll join you okay?” Gabriel said, before straightening up and stepping back to so.
He was quickly undoing the laces, when Sam started making soft whimpering noises, and Gabriel snapped up straight to look at him. He was curled up tight again and frantically looking around him. Gabriel kicked off his shoes and rushed back to Sam's side. “Hey, shhh, it's okay, Sam, I am here.” He grabbed one of Sam's hands and brought it up to his cheek, his other hand cupping Sam's face. “See, Sam. I'm here, it's okay, you're not alone. I am here.” Still keeping Sam's hand on his face Gabriel climbed into the bed and pulled Sam closer, moving his hand from Sam's cheek to gently comb through his hair. “It's okay, Sam. I am here.”
At that Sam seemed to break and start sobbing into Gabriel's shoulder. He dropped his hand from Gabriel's face and clutched tight at his shirt instead. His shoulders heaved with the strength of his sobs and he pressed his face closer into Gabriel's neck.
Gabriel did nothing more than continue combing his fingers through Sam's hair and making soft, gentle noises while Sam got it all out. Eventually Sam exhausted himself and calmed down, a small hiccup escaping him. Gabriel kept his hand in Sam's hair and brought up his other to rub soothing circles on his back. “How you doing, kiddo? Feeling a bit better?” Gabriel asked softly.
Sam, head still hidden in Gabriel's shoulder, just nodded and then shrugged his shoulders. After a few seconds of laying there, with Gabriel still rubbing his back and combing through his hair he nodded again.
“Good.” Gabriel pressed a kiss to the top of Sam's head, and then another to his forehead. He looked at Sam, who was staring up at him, eyes red-rimmed and shining with fresh tears, and gently wiped away the tears that spilled over and said, “I'm always here for you, Sam. Whenever you need me, I won't ever leave you.”
Sam squeezed his eyes shut, more tears spilling down his cheeks, and buried his face back in Gabriel's shoulder. He pressed a small kiss to Gabriel's neck, “Thank you.” he whispered.
“Always, Samshine. Always.” Gabriel moved comb his fingers through Sam's hair again. He kept it up even after he noticed that Sam's breathing had deepened and evened out and drifted off to sleep.