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Dying, silvery moonlight streamed in through the window of Leliana’s bedchambers. A dreamy, ethereal glow enveloped everything. It seemed fitting, in her mind, that this moment seemed so otherworldly.
It was like a dream. To have Persephone in bed beside her, despite the chaos elsewhere. She silently admired her lover. The light made her long, black hair take on a shimmering steely shade and made her fair skin glow. She wanted to reach out and brush her fingers over Persephone’s cheek. To trace her slightly parted lips with her fingertips. She held herself back, however, wanting to enjoy the chance to admire her love a little longer. This was a peaceful moment, and she loathed to shatter it. It wouldn’t do harm to let it push away the trials and fighting of the day to day.
Not for the first time, she understood Varric keeping Hawke tucked away from the reach of the Inquisition. The deep, unwavering want to protect those one loved. Leliana was aware of the constant danger surrounding Persephone. Being a Warden had consequences. Still, she could do her part to keep her safe and out of danger. Not to mention Persephone’s current mission, to find a cure to the blight all Wardens suffered. It could give the two of them the long life they longed for. That they had earned.
Persephone shifted and murmured in her sleep, startling Leliana from her thoughts. A strand of hair fell over her face and Leliana smiled softly. She reached out, ghosting her fingers over Persephone's skin as she tucked it behind her ear. She hummed in her sleep at the touch and Leliana’s heart ached for how domestic it all felt. This, more than anything, was what she wanted for them. She leaned down to press a kiss on Persephone’s forehead. Perhaps if she was careful it wouldn’t wake the other woman.
“You missed,” Persephone said as Leliana pulled away, her voice thick with sleep. A smile slid across her lips as she spoke. She hadn’t opened her eyes yet, but Leliana wished she would, so she could bask in her gaze. So she could experience the pleasure of being seen by the person who mattered most. Still, Persephone’s smile warmed her. A ray of sunlight cutting through daily gloom and strife. It comforted her. Like this was a normal day in a normal home without the threat of battle and war looming overhead.
“You have morning breath, Dove. If you deal with that, I might consider a kiss for your troubles,” she said. Persephone hummed, cracking open an eye to look up at Leliana. She felt her breath catch in her throat for a split second, the way it always did when their eyes met. It had been like that from the beginning, truth be told. When she was just a young chantry girl, whose world stumbled to a stop after meeting the eyes of a blood-splattered young woman. Those eyes, once filled with profound sadness, now held only warmth and gentleness.
“You didn’t have any comments about it last night.”
“Your breath didn’t smell last night,” Leliana said as Persephone pushed herself up. She looked unconvinced by Leliana’s arguments, leaning in a little closer.
“Not even one kiss?” she asked, batting her eyelashes. A pillow to the face thwarted her attempts at seduction as Leliana rose from the bed.
“Breath first,” she ordered, donning a robe that had lain over the back of a nearby chair. Persephone flopped back onto the bed with a disappointed groan, a hand to her forehead. Leliana snorted at the dramatics as Persephone cracked her eyes open a little. She watched as Leliana secured her robe and made her way to the bathroom. She paused in the doorway to glance over her shoulder at the bed. “The sooner you deal with your breath, the sooner you get a kiss.”
“Can’t I enjoy the view in peace?” Persephone asked. Leliana rolled her eyes, still smiling, before she entered the bathroom.
Upon returning to bed, Persephone found Leliana tucked under the blankets, going over reports. Persephone settled against her, slipping her arms around Leliana’s waist as she pressed a kiss to her cheek. It was paid no mind, however.
“You know, you get this little furrow between your brows when something’s worrying you.”
“I’m just thinking,” she said. “And I do not get a furrow between my brows.”
“Yes, you do. I’m looking at it right now,” Persephone continued, her smile clear in her voice. Leliana glanced down at her, trying to keep her expression schooled so Persephone didn’t think she was too funny.
“Really? And where would this furrow be?”
“Right here,” she poked just between Leliana’s eyebrows. “But I know how to get rid of it.”
“Do you?”
“Well, I certainly hope I do,” Persephone said. She pushed herself up a little, considering Leliana’s face. After a moment, she leaned over and kissed Leliana’s cheek. Another kiss was pressed to her forehead, then her other cheek, her nose, the corner of her mouth, and over the rest of her face. Between each one, Persephone made a sound of consideration and insisted she must try somewhere else. Leliana couldn’t help but laugh at the antics. A pleased smile spread across Persephone’s face at the sound. She brought a hand up to cup Leliana’s cheek, running her thumb over it. “What’s weighing on you, Love?”
“Adamant, it looms over us like a shade.”
“Yes, I’ve felt the pull... thank you, for seeing that I was warned.”
“I was only worried I wouldn’t be able to tell you in time.”
“You likely saved me, love. I’m grateful for it, but I imagine that’s not what’s bothering you.”
“No... The fortress itself will be a struggle to break. With the potential for an army of demons... I question if we’ll succeed. Corypheus controls the mages, making it impossible to stop them even if the others can be persuaded. And there’s no ideal way in. Cullen thinks we can breach the gate, which I don’t doubt, but reinforcements could come from anywhere,” Leliana sighed. “I trust the Maker has a plan for us, that he will see us through, but it doesn’t make it easier.”
Persephone hummed, rubbing circles on Leliana’s back as she spoke. Quiet settled between them for a moment as some of the tension fled Leliana. It was a comfort. Having someone beside her for things like this. Someone to share the burdens with.
“I told you of those old documents I found, yes? Relating to the Wardens and some of their history.”
“Yes, you hoped they would have something on curing the taint.”
“Those, yes. They didn’t have anything on that, or the Joining, but they might have something for you. It was all sorts of information on construction and old fortresses.”
“Do you think they might have information on Adamant?”
“Anything is possible.”
“Leave them for me, then. Praise the Maker, you are a blessing, my dove,” she said, pressing a kiss to the top of Persephone’s head.
“Well, he sent you into my path to stop the Blight. I’d argue you’re the blessing, far more than I.”
“Hush, and let me appreciate the information you have.”
“Hopefully it’s not just my information you appreciate.”
Leliana hummed a little in faux consideration before speaking. “Well, I suppose you have other beneficial aspects I appreciate as well.”
Persephone snorted, and another kiss was pressed against her hair. The pair remained like that for a moment, holding onto each other. All else in the room stayed still and silent. If Leliana closed her eyes, she could almost forget where they were and why. What lay on their shoulders. It would be all too easy to picture them in a quiet house in the countryside. All the dogs Persephone wanted sprawled around the house as they lay in bed. They would watch the sunrise from their room and wake up to birdsong. Why couldn’t it be that simple?
“You’ll pull through, love. I know it,” Persephone said after a while.
“Did The Maker tell you that?”
“Maybe in a dream,” she said. Leliana rolled her eyes. “But I do mean it. I have a feeling about that Inquisitor of yours. And you.”
The last two words tugged at Leliana’s heart, and she held Persephone closer to her. Maybe it wasn’t a divine shield from The Maker or a vow from Andraste’s Herald, but those words strengthened her. Knowing that her love held the same level of faith in her as the day they met. After all they had endured, it was likely more. It was a balm to the soul in a way she didn’t know she needed.
The faint glow of dawn was starting to burn away the darkness of night as Persephone saddled her horse. Her mabari was a short distance off, looking between the couple with large, sad eyes. Leliana would have felt worse for the puppy if her own thoughts weren’t distracting her. Was it too much to ask that Persephone saddle the horse slower? That she linger just a moment longer? That just for one more second, Leliana be allowed to have her fears and burdens eased by merely sharing space with the most important person in the world? Perhaps it was. Asking once would result in an infinite cycle of requesting another moment. Although she believed they could be happy if they abandoned everything and were together, it was an excessively self-centred decision. People relied on both of them. Even more so, their promise of a long and bright future rested on Persephone’s shoulders. It would be cruel to both of them to linger a moment longer. And yet…
Persephone mounted her horse and whistled for her hound. He rose slowly and stretched out before trotting over, waiting at the horse’s side. Leliana approached, resting a hand on Persephone’s thigh as she adjusted her cloak over the saddle. It took a minute before Leliana realised she was trying to stay longer and that her fussing with her cloak was just an excuse.
“Dove—”
“Just... please. A moment longer,” Persephone said. The pleading in her voice was like a knife to Leliana’s heart. She turned to look down at her, and the raw pain and longing etched into Persephone’s face staggered Leliana.
“Of course. Anything, my love, I’m here for you. As long as you need,” she said, squeezing the other woman’s thigh to reassure her. A hand reached down and caressed Leliana’s cheek as a long, wanting silence fell over them. Leliana could only watch her love. The fast coming dawn formed something like a halo around her head. It struck her just how holy it made Persephone look, and yet the deeply human emotion in her face offset it. Perhaps it was blasphemous, but somehow that’s what made her look more divine. Maker strike her down for the thought, but the truth couldn’t be denied. To know someone loved her so deeply, their soul shattered when they left her. She doubted any feeling could be more divine in the most devastating way.
“I know... I know I will be alright,” Persephone said, her voice low. “What information you got from Fiona makes my journey easier, but it kills me to leave you again.”
Leliana itched to hold her closer, to comfort her and ease the pain spilling from her voice. She longed to hold Persephone’s face and promise to never part. And yet, she knew she couldn’t. To give into such feelings would make them both crumble and give into their selfish wants.
“Every second without you is like a knife to the heart. I pray to the Maker every day that you will soon be back by my side, and never leave. I must have faith that when the time is right, he will let us be together again. Still, it doesn’t ease the pain of the distance,” Leliana said. She broke a little and covered Persephone’s hand with her own. “I have to trust it won’t be much longer that we will be apart. Once I am done here, I will join you, and I would die before leaving your side again.”
“I’d rather you not, keeping death from parting us so soon is the goal of this whole quest of mine,” Persephone said, attempting a laugh. A silence fell over them again. Persephone continued to run her thumb over Leliana’s cheek and she kept her hand over Persephone’s, refusing to let her pull away just yet. Persephone let out a shaky breath before she leaned down. Leliana didn’t even think. She pushed herself up on her toes to meet her.
When their lips met, time seemed to stand still. Everything around Leliana melted away. The worries and fears of the everyday evaporated as she clung to Persephone. In that moment, they could just be two women in love. Two people sharing one of the most mundane forms of affection. It could just be a simple kiss, and not the very thing keeping the both of them from falling to pieces. Hadn’t they earned it? Just a single moment of peace and comfort after all they had given for the world. The Maker couldn’t be so cruel as to deny them that.
When they parted, it felt like the clouds had covered the sun as a chill swept over Leliana. She wanted to reach out and pull Persephone back to her. To have just one more kiss, one more moment of bliss.
She stepped away.
“Travel safely, Dove. It won’t be much longer,” she said. Her fist clenched at her sides as she stopped herself from reaching back out.
“I’ll be back by your side as soon as I can, my love,” Persephone said. A beat passed. For a second Leliana hoped Persephone would dismount the horse and throw herself into her arms. Instead, she whistled for her hound before kicking the horse forward. Leliana waited until the speck of her love on the horizon had long since vanished. She took a deep breath, steeling herself. There was work to be done.