Chapter Text
Everybody says I'm sleeping with the enemy
I don't even care if you're gonna be the death of me
“Didi,” Lan Wangji paused, hearing his brother’s voice, his paintbrush poised halfway as the older man walked into the room, towards him. “We need to talk,”
Hearing this, Wangji's stomach dropped. He hadn't done anything out of line in class the last few days (actually, he hadn't ever done anything out of line for years, not until he came), so he knew it wasn't about lessons. But Gege rarely took the time to talk to him on school things, not unless…
Lan Xichen eyed the new marks around his brother's neck warily, dread pooling in his stomach for what he was about to do. What he was about to say. His younger brother had certainly glowed in the last few weeks. There was no other way to put it, the way his eyes lit up when they caught a glimpse of a familiar figure, the way the corners of his lips curled up nearly immediately after seeing him.
“It's about Wei Wuxian,” he breathed out, and in less than five words Wangji's fears were proven to be true.
“You seem to be closer to him these days. I know I told you it'd be good to befriend him in the last, but-”
“Don't,” softly, Lan Zhan’s voice broke his spiel. “Just don't.” He knew what he was going to say, anyway. There wasn't any point in him repeating it. He'd simply be wasting time. It was a well-known fact that most members of the Lan Clan viewed him with distaste, despising him for what they viewed as a flamboyant disregard for their rules, but after spending more time with Wei Ying, even Lan Zhan would say some of the rules were simply ridiculous, frivolous, even. What the hell did it matter if one walked fast or not? As long as they weren't a danger to anyone else, did it really matter? And why couldn't people run? What if there was a fire? There were lower chances of people getting out if they were prohibited from running, and limited to walking- and walking slowly, no less! This was preposterous! Lan Wangji found himself indignant.
“The Elders disapprove of him. And seeing the path he's going on, it may do you more harm than good to associate this closely with him.” Cleverly honed words, ones that Lan Wangji had long since lost the ability to craft, though he could still decipher. Words, especially if the spoken kind, weren't exactly his forte, but he supposed Lan Xichen had always loved them. If he went ahead with this, the whole Clan would likely turn against him. They already disliked Wei Wuxian, distrusting him came easily after that, especially with the rumors flying around…and if he didn't distance himself he'd likely get caught in the crossfire, but that wasn't all Lan Xichen was hinting at. No, he was hinting at their relationship. Part of him went: “He knew?” But then again, he'd never bothered trying to be subtle. Lan Wangji loved Wei Wuxian. That wasn't a secret. Be of one mind, in this one, Lan Wangji would choose him, no matter what.
“What do you mean, Gege?” At this, Lan Xichen’s face blanched white.
“You know what I mean.”
Wangji stared back at him unflinchingly. “No, no I don't. Explain, please.”
Lan Xichen sighed. “Wangji, please,” he rubbed the bridge of his nose. “You know Young Master Wei is turning into something of a radical. We can't have your reputation tarnished because you're too close to him. I'm certain you've heard the rumors flying around about your relationship. You don't need me to tell you what narrative that tells.”
Lan Wangji's face was impassive. “It is exactly as it seems. What others speculate is none of my concern. If there's a need for me to announce it, I will.”
“Lan Zhan,” Lan Xichen sighed, feeling an incoming headache. “I just want what's best for you. You might admire Young Master Wei, but it isn't safe. He's on the crooked route, Wangji.”
Do not stray from the straight path.
While its double meaning hadn't always existed, over the last few years, it'd been implied. Idly, Wangji wondered how his father would have viewed it if he'd been alive. Not that he knew much about love, in Wangji's opinion. You didn't love someone by locking them away. Even if Wangji understood to a certain level why he'd done what he did to Mama, he couldn't forgive it. He understood wanting to keep the person you loved safe, even if it was by hiding them away, but there was no love in imprisoning them.
No love in taking away their free will, confining them to a gilded prison, where they weren't allowed even a step out of their living quarters.
No love in leaving them alone, depriving them of any human interaction, meeting them once every 3 months.
No love in torturing yourself and them both.
To love someone could mean a lot of different things, Wangji realized. No matter how much Lan Qiren had tried to shield him from it, tried to show him the “proper” way, Wangji refused to listen.
He used to think the world was painted in black and white, but Wei Wuxian had opened his eyes- the world had never been in absolute black and white, it had always been painted in shades of gray. There was good in evil, and there was evil in good. Nothing was in absolutes, because not even life was absolute- perhaps some viewed life and death as different things, but in a sense, every living movement was a slow step towards death. Every shaky breath drew one closer to the inevitable, and that had always terrified Wangji, until now.
With Wei Wuxian, it didn't matter as long as he was with him. Some may call him crooked for defending the Wens, may call him complacent or brash for retaliating to taunts, but Wangji knew better- Wei Ying has never cared about the taunts directed at himself, only those aimed at the ones he loved. If anything, Wangji found he wasn't confident enough about himself. He'd jump to defend others without hesitation, but when it came to himself, he stayed silent.
To love someone meant to defend them, when needed.
To love someone was to know when to help and when to retreat.
To love someone was to know when to chase after them, and when to let them go.
“He's going to be the death of you, Wangji,” Lan Xichen's voice was soft, saccharinely so. “Maybe not the physical kind, but the social kind.”
Hearing this, Wangji could only smile. “I'd rather die by his hand than anyone else's. I love him, what part of that don't you understand? He makes me happy, Gege. Isn't that what you've always wanted for me?”
Lan Xichen was struck speechless. Lans didn't use the word “love” lightly. To love someone, in Lan eyes- was a lifelong commitment. A promise, and oath- that you'd love the person and treasure them for the rest of your life.
“I intend to marry him,” Wangji's gilt eyes hardened. “ And I will not hide him away.”
“If you’re certain…” There wasn’t anything else Xichen could say. He could see it in the quiet glint in his brother's eyes, the sure slant of his mouth. Some may cite Wei Wuxian as stubborn between the two, but Lan Xichen knew better. Once Lan Zhan set his mind to something, there was no going back.
“I am. And you forget, Gege. What Mama left us." With that, he turned around, leaving his brother alone in the room.