Work Text:
There were some facts that everyone knew to be true. The grass was green, the sky was blue, Oikawa and Iwaizumi belonged together. You could ask anyone at their school - the answer was always the same. If you wanted to find one of them, all you had to do was ask the other. It was a fact that Oikawa was proud of. It was reassuring to know that their bond was so strong that it would never be questioned, so strong that nobody ever bothered to try to get in between them. Yes, people still confessed to Oikawa, but both parties knew that they were just getting their feelings off their chest, that nothing would ever come from it. They were untouchable.
So, he waited. There was no rush between them because they had forever. They walked to and from school together, ate lunch together, practiced together. Oikawa basked in the presence of his person, taking any opportunity to stare, flirt, tease. Iwaizumi's smile was his favourite sight. And someday soon, Iwaizumi would say the words that have been sitting between them for years.
There was only one problem with this plan of action: Iwaizumi didn't seem to be making any move towards a more romantic relationship, no matter how many signs Oikawa dropped. He wasn't how many times he had to flutter his eyelashes, put his head on a strong shoulder, send Iwaizumi his favourite set, before the idiot decided it was time to make a move.
Oikawa believed himself to be a patient person, but that patience was beginning to wear thin. Part of him wanted get it over with and pull some crazy stunt to confess his love. Boom box in the front garden? Candle-lit dinner? Get the team involved somehow? As much as they appealed to Oikawa, they didn't feel right. Iwaizumi was supposed to be the one to tell Oikawa how he felt, not the other way round.
That was what he had been complaining about to his partner in his biology lesson as they trudged through the endless list of questions in their shared text book. Who decided the parts of the kidney needed to be named such complicated things anyway? Sakurai Tomoyo seemed as interested in their conversation as she was in nephrons and the medulla, which Oikawa almost found insulting. "Tomo-chan! Are you even listening to me? I squeezed Iwa-chan's biceps and said 'I bet this isn't the only thing that's big' and winked and he didn't even flinch! How can I be more obvious than that?"
She looked up at him then, considering. "You really want to get his attention, huh," she said. When she put it like that, it almost sounded desperate. She was wrong though, because Oikawa had never been desperate. Oikawa was cool.
He kicked his legs under the table. "He's just so mean, not even scowling or blushing. He just rolled his eyes and ignored me," Oikawa whined. Coolly. With a deep sigh, he picked up his pen and continued to work for a moment, despite the eyes he could still feel following him.
"You know, there's more than one way to get a reaction." He looked up at her and saw a devious glint in her eyes. It reminded him why he liked her. "I could help you."
He sat up straight, all thoughts of biology forgotten, pen and textbook abandoned on the table. "I'm listening."
"We both have something to gain here. You want to Iwaizumi to stop beating around the bush and kiss you already, and I have money in the 'When Will Oikawa And Iwaizumi Finally Get Together' betting pool that says it's going to happen soon. So let's fake date. He'll be so jealous he can't help but confess." She spoke matter-of-factly. Oikawa blinked slowly. There was a betting pool based off their relationship?
"Tomo-chan is betting on us? How many people are involved in-"
"Never mind that. Don't you want to do something to push him to actually do something?"
He bit his lip. In theory, yes, he wanted something to change, and change needed a catalyst. But a stunt of this magnitude also carried the risk of hurting Iwaizumi. He imagined seeing the betrayal in Iwaizumi's eyes when he found out what was going on, but immediately pushed the thought back. Surely, his Iwa-chan would know immediately there was something off. Then, he would fix it, and they would live happily ever after. "Alright. But let me talk to him first. Then we can walk into school together. Tomorrow, after I’m done with practice?" He asked, trying to ignore the heat of guilt already settling in his stomach.
"Tomorrow." She raised her hand, and he shook it. This was a good idea. This was how he would get what he wanted.
Right?
---
As usual, Oikawa and Iwaizumi walked home after training together that night. They tended to alternate whose house they ended up at to do homework, and tonight it was Iwaizumi's. Nerves licked through his veins sitting on Iwaizumi's bedroom floor. The feeling was unfamiliar there, somewhere that usually made him feel so safe and welcome. Not that the room, or Iwaizumi, had changed. It was Oikawa who held a secret.
He watched for a few moments as Iwaizumi wrestled with a particularly hard maths problem. There was a tiny wrinkle on his forehead where his eyebrows had bunched together and the end of the pen in his hand was caught between his teeth endearingly. God, Oikawa loved him. He loved him so much he could barely stand it.
Which was why, he supposed, he was barely able to speak his next works, forcing them out of his mouth without any of his normal tact. "I'm dating somebody."
"Hm." Other than that, nothing. Not a glance, not a sound. Surely, Iwaizumi had heard him – even the rest of the house seemed to have gone quiet in anticipation.
"Iwa-chan? I'm dating somebody. Dating,' he enunciated the words carefully, making it impossible for Iwaizumi to misunderstand.
Iwaizumi's eyes darted up to meet Oikawa's for a minute, but they gave nothing away. Then, they flicked back down to his work. "I heard you, Shittykawa." A moment passed, then another. Oikawa just stared. Where was the jealousy? Where was the rage? But when Iwaizumi did continue it was softly, in a voice that Oikawa almost missed, so wrapped up in his own dismay. "Who?"
There. That was something. Anything was better than nothing. "Tomo-chan from my biology class. Short hair, used to wear glasses," he replied carefully.
Iwaizumi nodded to himself. "She's pretty," he said, before picking up his pencil and returning to his homework.
Surely, that wasn't it. Maybe this was a game Oikawa hadn't realised they were playing. That was fine; Oikawa loved winning almost as much as he loves Iwaizumi. He changed tactics.
"Don't worry, Iwa-chan. I know what you're thinking. But the Great Oikawa would never forget about you just because he has a girlfriend." When Iwaizumi looked up at him again, Oikawa flashed him a wide, shit-eating grin.
The sincere, kind smile he received from his best friend in that moment made him feel smaller than an ant as he said, "I know, Tooru." And that was that. Iwaizumi was done with the conversation, and Oikawa was left reeling.
If he had felt uncomfortable before, it was nothing compared to how he was suffocating now. He needed to escape, and for once, that escape was away from Iwaizumi, rather than towards him. He excused himself a little earlier than he normally would, Iwaizumi letting him go without resistance.
When he had reached his own house, he felt some of his resolve return. Oikawa was not, and had never been, a quitter. Iwaizumi had never tried to challenge him like this before, but there was no way he was backing down. Just talking about it clearly wasn't enough. Once Iwaizumi saw him and Sakurai together, once it was real, he would back down and everything would be normal again. All he had to do was stand strong.
It took him a long time to get to sleep that night.
---
To say that the rest of the school were surprised would have been an understatement. The stares that latched onto himself and Sakurai as they walked down the corridors, hand in hand, were disbelieving and almost hostile. Oikawa understood why; everyone knew this was something he should have been doing with Iwaizumi. He took little notice of it. It was all for a good cause, and they would find that out soon enough. Iwaizumi was about to be the most jealous man, and then with any luck the happiest, on the planet.
Slowly, the silence that had settled along with the initial shock subsided and the students returned to their half-forgotten conversations. He took the opportunity to murmur to Sakurai, "How long do you think until this gets back to Iwa-chan?"
She swung their arms between them for a moment, then watched the groups of teenagers whisper behind their hands, hungry for the latest gossip. "Probably in about 30 seconds? Less?"
He could feel the bubble of discomfort re-emerging at the idea of Iwaizumi thinking of him with anyone else, but he forced it down. Bearing it for a little while was a small price to pay to finally, finally be able to hear that Iwaizumi was in love for him, and be able to say it back, any time he wanted. Once he had dropped her off at her own class, he skipped down the corridor to his own. Every bemused glance from someone in the crowd added more of a spring to his step. He couldn't wait to reap the benefits when he saw Iwaizumi at lunch.
---
Except, once again, Iwaizumi didn't offer him a single thing.
He, Iwaizumi, Hanamaki and Matsukawa often came to the roof to eat lunch. When Oikawa arrived, the three were already sitting in the midday sun. However, the warmth of the sun on his skin did nothing to ease the chill that settled over him as the conversation quickly dwindled at his entrance. This seemed mostly to be due to Hanamaki and Matsukawa, who were watching both Oikawa closely as he sat down. If their faces were anything to go by, they'd heard the news, and they didn't like it.
Iwaizumi was unphased. He looked up at Oikawa, the same small frown on his face as always. "My mom packed me one of those juices for you that you like," he said, throwing it at Oikawa in spite of the fact he was sitting right next to him.
He caught it and grinned. "Obasan knows how to treat me. Unlike brutes like Iwa-chan who throw things for no reason."
"At least I haven't been walking round all morning with toothpaste round my mouth."
Oikawa's head whipped around to look at Iwaizumi, before scrambling to check in the camera on his phone. "You liar-"
"Are they serious?" Matsukawa interrupted in a bland voice. When Oikawa turned his head, it was to the sight of Hanamaki and Matsukawa staring at them like they were zoo animals.
"Um," he said unintelligently. “What?”
"Oh, it's nothing," Hanamaki drawled. "Just that for some reason, you were seen walking hand in hand down the corridor this morning with Sakurai instead of-"
"Hanamaki," Iwaizumi cut him off with a sharp glare before returning to his food. As endearing as it was to watch Iwaizumi defend him, he couldn't lose sight of his goal. The negative reaction at the sound of Sakurai's name filled him with confidence that they were moving in the right direction.
That was why, despite Iwaizumi's protests, Oikawa answered Hanamaki's unasked question. "Yes, me and Tomo-chan make for some juicy gossip, right? It's a burden a beautiful power couple like us have to bear." He let out a dramatic sigh. "But Tomo-chan is worth it. Don't you think so, Iwa-chan?"
"Sure," was all he said.
Oikawa didn't know how to react to this. First with the smiles and acceptance and I know, Tooru, and now a calm answer without even a whisper of jealousy marring it. Had Oikawa miscalculated? Maybe it was best if he ended this façade before he fell in too deep. Maybe he should go back to waiting, allow Iwaizumi to make his move at whatever pace he chose.
Or maybe he just wasn't trying hard enough.
Oikawa wasn't a genius, wasn't somebody who could just fall into something and do it perfectly first time. But that meant he knew hard work, and knew better than anyone the addictive feeling of triumph when that hard work paid off. So as they moved on to safe topics of conversation and the ice underneath Hanamaki's and Matsukawa's tones slowly melted, Oikawa carefully considered what he could do to push Iwaizumi over the edge. Before anyone knew it, he would be in Iwaizumi's arms.
---
On day two of his and Sakurai’s heart-warming and completely legitimate relationship, Oikawa pulled out the big guns. Something that nobody could ignore.
"How do you feel about a cheek kiss at the door?" He proposed furtively.
Sakurai glanced around the corridor, eyes landing on a small group of Oikawa's fans (not even attempting to hide their disdain) before returning to him. "As long as that's all it is. They've accepted Iwaizumi because obviously, but I don't think they feel the same about me."
He chuckled at that; he himself was competitive and ambitious, and he knew that the girls who idolised him shared those traits. They would stop at nothing to get what they wanted; Oikawa too wasn't feeling lucky enough to test them today.
"Although, that girl over there is pretty hot when she glares. I wouldn't mind if she wanted to intervene."
"Tomo-chan," he said, scandalised. "Honestly, how anybody believes such an unabashed lesbian could be interested in me, I'll never know."
They'd stopped at her classroom door once again, and this time Oikawa knew that it was a lesson she shared with Iwaizumi. He had gotten there before them on account of Oikawa picking up Sakurai from the school entrance, and Oikawa could feel his eyes on them now. Exactly as planned. He met his gaze once, then looked back down at Sakurai as she spoke. She was standing much closer than he remembered her being. "It doesn't have to work for long. Or really, fool more than one person."
"That's right," he grinned, placing a lingering kiss on her cheek, one hand running lightly over her hair. They said their goodbyes and she walked to her desk. Of course, Oikawa couldn't help but look in the direction of the one the show was for, but it was already too late. Iwaizumi had looked away.
That was okay, he thought as he went to his own class. Just because he wasn't looking in that moment, didn't mean he hadn't seen at all. It might even be a good thing - had he looked away because he couldn't bare to see the two of them together?
Endless thoughts swirled in his head. There were too many unknowns. He needed more information. As soon as he was at his desk, Oikawa whipped out his phone and sent a quick text to Sakurai.
To: Sakurai Tomoyo (08:37)
What's he doing
Is he sad? Mad?
A few minutes passed with no reply, making Oikawa impatient. He decided to try again.
To: Sakurai Tomoyo (08:40)
Tomo-channnnn
Don't abandon me in my time of neeeed
From: Sakurai Tomoyo (08:42)
You realise we are in class, right
You are also in class
He seems alright to me. Maybe a little distracted
Oikawa felt his face fall into a pout. Distracted was a start, but it wasn't good enough. He needed action. What more would it take?
To: Sakurai Tomoyo (8:45)
Desperate times,,
Watch him
Then, he switched conversations.
To: Iwa-chan<3<3 (08:45)
Eating lunch with Tomo-chan
(｡•̀ᴗ-)✧
Go ahead and start without me
It didn't take long for Iwaizumi to reply. The response was brief - just a short okay - making it impossible to read into. Oikawa never expected much from him over text, but it was still disappointing. How could someone who was usually so full of fire, so ready to argue, give up without even trying to fight? He had never known Iwaizumi to roll over so easily before. If he didn't know better, he would have assumed Iwaizumi didn't care whether he was there or not. He did know better though, and there was no way that was the case. Absolutely no way.
At the very least, he hoped there had been an obvious reaction in class.
To: Sakurai Tomoyo (08:47)
Anything?
From: Sakurai Tomoyo (08:49)
He looked down at his phone and sighed. Now he's just staring out of the window.
What did you do?
To: Sakurai Tomoyo (08:50)
I hope you didn't have any plans for lunch today
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It was working; it had to be working. If this was a bad idea, it was too late to worry about that now. He was committed, and every sigh, every lesson Iwaizumi spent lost in thought instead of focused, was a step closer to him breaking.
Oikawa just had to make sure that he wasn't the one who broke first.
---
One of Oikawa's favourite pastimes was watching meaningless television with Iwaizumi in Iwaizumi's room. He could feel the combination of the two of them scattered throughout the space, from the glow in the dark moon and stars Oikawa bad forced him to stick on the ceiling a decade ago, to the jumper Oikawa had assumed he'd lost a few weeks ago, but now seemed to have reappeared on Iwaizumi's bedroom floor. He knew it was the same in his own room, loved the little fingerprints Iwaizumi had left there over the years.
If he had expected Iwaizumi to act any differently after being unceremoniously ditched at lunch time, he would have been wrong. Iwaizumi didn't give a single indication that he had even noticed Oikawa's absence during lunch, let alone been bothered by it. He tried not to let that sting.
Sat on Iwaizumi's floor, it was easy enough to forget all of that for a little while. They were watching a reality TV show about the crew of a superyacht (Oikawa's choice; Iwaizumi generally preferred cooking shows), equally making fun of the ridiculously rich customers and the cut-throat crew members. It wasn't often they had time to do this - usually, they were training, watching games to build their own strategies, or studying. In reality, they should have been doing one of those in that moment. The fact that neither pushed the issue was a testament to the subtle tension they were both feeling. At least Oikawa hoped he wasn’t the only one feeling it.
As evening approached, just enough of a chill developed in the air to make Oikawa shiver slightly. Ever the gentleman, Iwaizumi pulled a blanket off his bed and wrapped it around Oikawa's shoulders. The warmth and familiar smell lulled him into a sleepy calmness. He felt his eyelids drooping heavily. Before he knew it, his head was resting on a muscular shoulder. No one else knew Iwaizumi like this. No one knew the gentle way he held Oikawa. The way he truly looked after Oikawa, not just threatening to hit him if he didn't look after himself. The way he-
"Oikawa, you can't sleep here. You haven’t eaten."
"Hm? Iwa-chan," Oikawa mumbled into his shoulder. He moved closer, nuzzling his forehead against Iwaizumi's neck and wrapping his hands around his forearm.
"Oikawa, no." Iwaizumi shuffled away from him a small distance, forcing Oikawa to raise his head. "You can't do that. What would Sakurai think?"
For a moment, he stared, uncomprehending. "Tomo-chan?" When had Iwaizumi cared about what others thought of him? That had always been Oikawa's job. Then, reality weaselled its way back into his consciousness. While this wasn't the way he'd hoped this evening would play out, it was an opportunity he couldn't afford to miss. "Why? Are you jealous of her?"
Iwaizumi rubbed at his face in frustration. "No, you idiot. God." Slowly, he pulled his arm from Oikawa's loose grip, looking straight into his eyes. "It's not fair on her for you to do that stuff with me. She's your girlfriend now. It's not right."
That wasn't what he was supposed to say, wasn't how he was supposed to react. Why was he just letting this happen? What did Oikawa have to do to make him fight for what they had? The only explanation he could think of that even remotely made sense was that he simply didn't want to.
Disappointment coiled in his stomach, twisting and turning as he pushed himself back, away from Iwaizumi. He could no longer bring himself to meet his eyes, but tried to offer him a smile. "Alright, Iwa-chan. Hey, I've gotta go."
Iwaizumi's gazed burned into his back as he stood and walked towards the door, but he didn't turn around. "I thought you were staying to eat. Okaasan's made enough for you."
"That's okay. I actually forgot I already had plans tonight." He hesitated at the door, hand on the doorknob. Then, he spun around, offering Iwaizumi a wide grin. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"
He was out the door before Iwaizumi had a chance to reply.
As he rushed across the street and into his own house, he pulled his phone out of his pocket. After typing out a quick message, he threw it across the genkan, took off his shoes and closed himself in his room.
To: Sakurai Tomoyo (18:32)
This isn't working. Let's just end it.
Panicked tears finally escaping his eyes, he dropped onto his bed. Finally, he let in the thoughts that have been hovering on the edge of his awareness since he started this whole charade. The grass was green, the sky was blue, Oikawa and Iwaizumi belonged together. Everybody knew it. Everyone, it seemed, except maybe Iwaizumi himself. How could they have made it so far without Oikawa noticing this one, fatal possibility?
It was silly, really. Silly to convince himself that just because Iwaizumi was willing to put up with him and all his eccentricities, he must feel the same. Torturous that the one person he needed to believe they belonged together was the one person that didn't.
None of that was Iwaizumi's fault, though. Iwaizumi shouldn't have to suffer just because Oikawa was a fool. For his sake, Oikawa would act normal. He would move on, if that was what Iwaizumi wanted. Even if it felt like it would kill him.
---
It was awkward.
Oikawa couldn't help but act differently, no matter how he tried. He could promise himself he was going to move on, but that didn't change the stab in his chest he felt just looking at his best friend. And of course, Iwaizumi could tell something was wrong. Knowing Oikawa better than anyone, he could also tell he didn't want to talk about it, so he didn't push, but Oikawa could feel his gaze following him around the gym during morning training.
Once Oikawa had finally retrieved his phone last night, he'd been greeted by a few confused but supportive messages from Sakurai. It was a relief to know he wouldn't have to act like he was in a happy relationship when he was feeling the opposite. If the student body had been whispering when the two had started dating, they would be a hundred times worse with the news of the breakup, though that was the least of his problems. He’d asked her to give him a day or two before she said anything, to give him a chance to clear his head if nothing else. After that, Sakurai could weave them a story if she wanted; it made no difference to Oikawa.
No, Oikawa had different problems. Namely, Matsukawa, who insisted on staying with him to clean up the gym before the beginning of the school day, when it should have been Kunimi's turn. Oikawa cursed Kunimi's lack of diligence - he was sure it didn't take much convincing to get him to skip out on cleaning duties. Instead, he was stuck with one of the only people known for calling him out.
Matsukawa was blissfully silent for a few minutes, though Oikawa could feel him analysing his every move. He did his best to shrug it off.
Soon, the gym was spotless. Oikawa almost thought he has gotten away with it, lulled into a false sense of security. He should have known it was too good to be true. Still, it startled him when Matsukawa's voice came from across the room, saying, "You're going to tell me sooner or later. Why not put us both out of our misery and spill."
Oikawa scoffed, immediately irritated. "Why are you here, Mattsun?"
As they walked out the doors and towards the club room, Matsukawa replied, "Well, one of us had to talk to Iwaizumi and one of us had to talk to you. I just happened to draw the short straw."
"Mattsun," Oikawa whined, pushing at Matsukawa's arm. His face barely changed, but it did make Oikawa feel slightly better to see the minute twitch of Matsukawa's lip as he held back his amusement. However, it was gone as quickly as it appeared. Despite their antics, both Hanamaki and Matsukawa generally knew how to read the room and when they needed to rein it in.
"Seriously, Oikawa. You were fine before this whole deal with Sakurai. Iwaizumi has been flapping around you like a mother hen all morning. What's going on?"
He took his time deciding what he wanted to say, considering who might overhear. Once they were in the relative privacy of the empty club room, Oikawa said carefully, "I broke up with Tomo-chan."
Matsukawa rolled his eyes. "Considering how much money she has on you and Iwaizumi, I'm surprised she even agreed to date you in the first place-"
"Money? How do you know about that?" Even as he asked the question, he became fairly sure what the answer would be.
"Know about it? It's our betting pool, you dumbass," he said like it was obvious. Because who else would bet on Oikawa's heart like that. He put that aside for the moment to be complained about at a less trying time – Hanamaki and Matsukawa wouldn't have done any of this to hurt them, and that was worth remembering.
Still, it was hard to give him the benefit of the doubt in that moment. Shoving his training gear unceremoniously into his locker, he grumbled under his breath, "Doesn’t matter now, anyway. Iwa-chan doesn't care."
For the first time since the beginning of their conversation, Matsukawa's expression completely shifted. His eyebrows pulled down into a frown. "What?"
"I said," Oikawa enunciated, growing more frustrated by the minute, "He doesn’t even care! I walk around with her, he doesn't care. I ditch him for her at lunch, he doesn't care. He doesn't even want me to be close to him anymore. He didn't even try to fight. Why didn't he try?" He needed to stop. He needed to release these pent up emotions, to run until his lungs burned, to serve until his knees ached. But he knew, if he chose that route, Iwaizumi would just worry about him more, and they would both be hurting even more. It would solve nothing.
"You need to talk to him." For a moment, Oikawa had forgotten he wasn't alone, too lost in his own thoughts to keep himself together. The words made him feel nothing but disbelief. "There's no way he actually feels like that. If you just tell him the truth, I'm sure he'll-"
"I've heard enough, Mattsun. From him, and from you." Wrenching the door open, he settled his features into a mask of calm. "I'm going to class."
Somehow, he got there on time. Thankfully, none of the schedules for the third year volleyballers lined up particularly well that day, so all Oikawa had to do was avoid them at lunch. He just had to find somewhere to hide. Then, he could go to volleyball practice, go home, and cry into his pillow. Again. Maybe after that, he would start to feel okay again. Maybe.
---
Somehow, he made it through the rest of the morning relatively unscathed. Not many knew it, but Oikawa loved to draw. He wasn't good at it, didn't have the time to spend developing any kind of skill, but that didn't stop him from trying. It was a much healthier outlet for his overwhelming emotions than his usual workout-until-you-can't-move method, so he carried his sketchbook wherever he went and drew anything that came to mind.
That lunch time, he went to a spot behind a tree, near the back of the school field, where he knew no one would find him. The only person who knew of Oikawa's affinity to said spot was Iwaizumi, but he knew better than to look for Oikawa there. If Oikawa was there, it meant he didn't want to be found. He sat in the same position for the whole of the break, drawing shapes out of the clouds overhead in between bites of his bento. At one point, he tried to capture a small bird perched on one of the trees branches, but it only lingered for a fleeting moment before taking off again. Its quick movements startled him and he accidentally dragged the pencil across the page, putting a harsh line through the unfinished outline of the bird. Staring at the unfinished sketch, Oikawa longed for that type of freedom, to escape anything with a flutter of a pair of wings.
The next problem, one he couldn’t avoid, was volleyball after school. While Oikawa had never and would never skip the club, he couldn't help but wish this was their day off, that he could have just a little more time before he saw Iwaizumi again. Fortunately, they were scheduled to have a practice game, and Oikawa wasn't going to let something as silly as a bit of heartbreak get in the way of his team's success. Every game was important, practice or otherwise.
Nobody could accuse Oikawa of being off his game. They won fairly quickly, moved through the analysis of their play, and before he knew it, they were walking home. He did this, of course, with Iwaizumi, as there was no way to avoid it without making matters so much worse than they already were. Iwaizumi was following along with Oikawa by acting as normal as possible, but he could feel the wariness in his words like Oikawa was a wild animal Iwaizumi didn't want to startle.
The air was filled with their typical idle chatter, slowly relaxing them both. While Oikawa was able to keep it up for the walk home, he knew he couldn't carry on their routine like everything was normal. He needed space. Iwaizumi was supposed to come to his, but once they were back on their street, Oikawa quickly said goodbye and started to move away from him.
That was, until he heard an uncharacteristically timid voice say, "Did I do something wrong?"
He didn't look back, wasn't sure he wanted to see the expression that matched the words. Shame rooted his feet to the spot. It wasn't Iwaizumi's fault. Nobody could force themselves to have feelings for another person. Even so, Oikawa didn't think he had it in him to comfort anyone right now. He just wanted to go back the life he had just a few days ago when the world knew he was in love with Iwaizumi, and that Iwaizumi loved him back.
"Is it about Sakurai? I told you I was fine about that. You can date whoever you want. I don't care." Was there a knife in his chest? Because it felt like someone was twisting it. Over and over again, he was struck by the realisation of how wrong he was, with Iwaizumi unknowingly delivering blow after blow. How could Iwaizumi know him so well, yet still not notice what the real problem was?
He turned suddenly on his heel. It has never been easy for Oikawa to lie to Iwaizumi, and he let the words flow, desperately needing to see Iwaizumi's face as he said, "Mattsun didn't tell you? I broke up with Tomo-chan."
Maybe he was foolish to continue to think there was anything to be gained from hoping Iwaizumi would react differently, because he never saw what he wanted to. Iwaizumi's face was a mask of confusion. Why couldn't it have been relief? "But you just started going out. I thought you were happy with her."
At this point, he was too tired to lie. There wasn't much left to lose. "We were never really together. It wasn’t real. I just wanted to get your attention," he said wearily.
The confusion only intensified. "What was the point of that? You always have my attention."
"But not in the way I want."
Iwaizumi threw his arms up in the air. Oikawa hoped that this was over soon so he could go and cry in the comfort of his own room, instead of in the middle of the street with the chill of the evening falling onto his skin and the object of his hopeless affections standing right in front of him. "Then what am I supposed to do?"
"Nothing, you dumbass! There's nothing you can do! Because I'm disgustingly, ridiculously, insanely in love with you! I thought you knew that. I thought...I thought you loved me too." He could feel himself losing it. Trying to take a calming breath, he watched Iwaizumi look around with wide eyes, seeming to notice they were still standing in the middle of the street. Oikawa felt fingers close around his wrist. "Iwa-chan, what-" he began, but his voice failed him as Iwaizumi began to pull Oikawa towards his house.
As they entered, Oikawa's mother called her greetings. Iwaizumi was kind enough to her – he always was to Oikawa's family – but he didn't try to stick around to talk like he normally did. Instead, he dragged him up the stairs and into Oikawa's room like it was his own. As soon as they were both inside, Iwaizumi slammed the door shut and stepped into Oikawa's space, making him back up into the now closed door. He was watching Oikawa, a new intensity in his eyes. "Say it again."
It was Oikawa's turn to be confused. "What?"
With Iwaizumi's hands caging him in against the door, he felt like there was no escape. That was probably the only thing holding him there in that moment. "That you love me. Say. It. Again."
Tears prickled in his eyes. "Don't make fun of me, Iwa-chan. If that’s what this is, I'll never for-"
The end of that sentence was swallowed by the sudden appearance of lips crashing desperately into his own. It was not a soft kiss. It was filled with days of stress and months of waiting, at least on Oikawa's part. His hands fluttered uselessly at his sides and he tried to communicate all of his doubts and fears into the kiss, willing Iwaizumi to understand him. When Iwaizumi pulled back, he took his hands away from the door, brushing at the tears that had just escaped Oikawa’s eyes. Oikawa blinked, very aware that this conversation had gotten away from him drastically and was now in realms he was unable to comprehend.
"Iwa-chan better start talking, or I am going to lose it," he said, only half-joking. It made Iwaizumi laugh anyway, sounding much lighter than he had mere minutes earlier.
"I love you, Tooru. I thought the whole world must know that by now. But you, loving me? That's the shocker," he chuckled, his smile making the skin around his eyes crinkle. Oh, how Oikawa loved that smile. Pity it was on the face of someone saying something so stupid.
"I did know that, Iwa-chan! We all know! Everyone knows that it's supposed to be us. But Iwa-chan says, 'No, it's okay for you to date whoever you want, I don't mind.' Iwa-chan says, 'No, don't worry about eating lunch with me, just eat with your girlfriend instead, no problem.' Iwa-chan says, 'don't touch me, Oikawa, go and touch your girlfriend.' You asshole!" He felt hysterical. He wanted to scream and cry and rip his hair out. How unfair, that he couldn't even take the moment to revel in the assurance of Iwaizumi's feelings.
Iwaizumi crossed his arms over his chest. In spite of everything, Oikawa's eyes couldn't help but follow the motion, watching the muscles in his forearms flex and relax. "You came home one day and said you were dating someone, Tooru. What was I supposed to do?"
How did he make it worse every time he opened his mouth? "I don't know, maybe fight for the person you love? You fight for everything. You've never given up on anything in your life. Why did the first thing you ever chose to give up on have to be me?" By the end, his voice wasn't much more than a whisper. At some point, his gaze had dropped to the floor. He had never felt so small. On some level, he knew that this was partially his fault, knew that he shouldn't have lied in the first place. But it didn't change the fact that Iwaizumi could have said something, could have shown one ounce of emotion, and Oikawa would have known, would have stopped.
Familiar hands pulled at his own clenched fists, forcing them to relax. Then he pulled him down to the floor so they were both sitting with their backs against his bed. A steady grip continued to hold both of his hands, grounding him.
Iwaizumi took a deep breath, rubbing his thumbs into Oikawa's palms. "I'm going to tell you something, but you have to promise not to get mad."
It wasn't like he wanted them to fight. He wasn't sure he had the energy to be angry anymore. "I can try, Iwa-chan." He watched as Iwaizumi gave him grateful squeeze in return.
"You're probably not gonna like it, but..." He paused, then steeled himself to continue. "I just didn't think you liked me like that, okay? I love being your best friend. That's always been enough for me. In my head, I knew that one day, you might find someone, or you might focus all your energy on your career. I just want you to be happy, Tooru."
Oikawa pulled his hands back and curled into himself, arms round his legs, head resting on his knees. He couldn't meet Iwaizumi's gaze. "So when I said I was dating Tomo-chan..."
"It was okay. As long as that was what you wanted."
"Iwa-chan," Oikawa breathed, tears beginning to make his vision blur. He hugged himself tightly. "I'm so sorry. I should have just told you. I just wanted you to say it first." None of this would have happened if he had been able to swallow his pride and communicate like a normal person. Embarrassment was creeping up on him as the realisation hit that this was possibly, maybe, likely, his own fault.
"Hey. It's alright. Look at me, Tooru," Iwaizumi said softly. Oikawa forced his gaze up and Iwaizumi used the sleeve of his shirt to swipe at Oikawa's damp face. "Wanna be my boyfriend?"
Just a few days ago, that had been all Oikawa wanted to hear. Now, it was almost unbelievable. Oikawa launched himself at Iwaizumi's chest, knocking him on his back on the floor with a tiny, oof. "How could Iwa-chan not know I was in love with him? You could ask literally anyone and they could tell you. Anyone."
Iwaizumi trailed his fingers up and down Oikawa's arm. Oikawa squeezed his eyes shut and focused on the movement. "You never said anything. You flirt with everyone. And there's nothing wrong with that; I know you're just having fun. But that's all I thought it was."
Despite Iwaizumi's careful tone and attempts to keep him calm, Oikawa was filled with indignation. He pushed himself up and glared at Iwaizumi, who grimaced and at the pressure on his chest. "I eat with you. I train with you. I have voluntarily spent practically every spare minute since we were tiny with you. For god’s sake, half the time we sleep in the same bed. I knew you were dense, but this is ridiculous." He sat back on his heels, crossing his arms over his chest.
A blush had begun to form on Iwaizumi’s face as Oikawa spoke, his cheeks a deep red by the end of the rant. His mouth was hanging open slightly and his eyes darted around Oikawa's face. "You look cute when you're pouting." Oikawa didn't pout. Oikawa was cool – he never pouted. He turned his face away, letting out a huff.
His resolve didn't last long, though. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Iwaizumi raise his arms and looked over. Iwaizumi wasn't looking directly at his face, but he made grabby hands at him, face still flushed. "Come back."
Just as everyone knew that they belonged together, they also knew that Oikawa couldn't say no to Iwaizumi. Need Oikawa to do something? Get Iwaizumi to ask him. (Just make sure it wouldn't get Oikawa hurt, because then you would have Iwaizumi to answer to). Looking at Iwaizumi lying on his floor, waiting for him to join him, he didn't even want to try to deny him.
Sprawled out in the warm embrace of his favourite person, Oikawa finally felt the last of the tension that had been building over months, peaking over the last few days, dissipate. He nuzzled into Iwaizumi's neck, relishing the welcoming kiss that was places into his hair. This was right. This was how it should be. Not with Iwaizumi pushing Oikawa away. Not with Oikawa telling ridiculous lies.
"So Iwa-chan isn't going to stop me from holding him?" Oikawa said, vaguely aware he sounded like a petulant child.
"No, Tooru."
"And Iwa-chan isn't going to act like it doesn't matter if I'm not spending time with him or putting him first?"
Iwaizumi sighed. "No, Tooru."
"And Iwa-chan isn’t-"
"Alright, alright, I get it. I was stupid. You were too. Can we please move on?"
Oikawa reached for Iwaizumi's hand and held it tight between his own, brushing his lips against the knuckles. "I mean it, Hajime. I don't want you to think that there could be anyone or anything better for me, and I want you to be happy, too. If I'm not treating you the way I should, you've gotta tell me. I'll fix it. I promise," he vowed.
He felt Iwaizumi nod his agreement, then sat up suddenly. Nothing could stop the child-like glee spreading through his body, the excited smile spread across his face. Slightly dazed, Iwaizumi couldn't help but smile back at him. Golden sunlight still streamed through the window. It was still early enough to enact the plan quickly forming in his mind.
Jumping up from the floor, he scoured the room for his favourite jacket, the one he knew hugged him in all the right places, and threw it on. He was at the door before he turned dramatically to wear Iwaizumi was sat, watching his actions bemusedly. After a moment, Oikawa said, "Well?"
Iwaizumi blinked. "Well, what?"
"We're going on a date, obviously. I'll tell Okaasan to put our food in the fridge. She won't mind. And you're paying for doubting my love for you and hurting my feelings." Still, he didn't move. Oikawa opened the door and half-stepped out into the hallway. "You have thirty seconds to be downstairs or I'll go on our date without you."
As Oikawa walked down the stairs, he started counting in his head. After about 5 seconds, he heard an abrupt jolt and grinned at the mental image of Iwaizumi scrambling to follow. This, like everything with Iwaizumi, was going to be fun.
---
At practice the next day, they both decided a little karma was in order. Having explained to Iwaizumi the little money making scheme, Oikawa devised a plan to give the smartasses a little shock. They walked together in the morning like normal, but parted close to school to make it look like they had come separately.
Oikawa was the first through the doors at the club room, scanning the space to make sure the targets were present. Sure enough, they were both standing by their lockers, heads bowed close together. Probably scheming on how else they can rinse the school populace of more money. Oikawa kept his face serious, making no move to talk to them. Once they noticed his presence, it seemed it was Hanamaki's turn to try him, because Matsukawa stayed where he was. "Oikawa-"
"I can't believe you, you asshole," Iwaizumi growled, having thrown the door wide open. Everyone in the club room whipped round to face the entrance; everyone except Oikawa, who took his time shutting his locker carefully before turning to join the rest. The fierce scowl on Iwaizumi’s face would have been enough to make a grown man cower. It took Oikawa a lot of self-control to force his own expression into a mask of scorn.
"You know, Iwa-chan, if you keep frowning like that, you'll be a pile of wrinkles before you're twenty and no one will love you." While they often prodded and teased each other, this was much more mean-spirited than Oikawa normally sunk. It hurt somewhat, even though he knew it was for show.
Heads ping-ponged back and forth between them, several sets of wide eyes staring in disbelief. Iwaizumi rolled his eyes. "Iwa-chan this, Iwa-chan that. You sound like a six-year-old. Aren't you ever going to grow up?"
"Better to be young at heart then a shrivelled up, brainless, short-"
Matsukawa stepped into eyesight and raising his hands placatingly, cutting Oikawa off. "Guys, what the hell?"
Iwaizumi continued as if there were no interruption at all. "Say what you want. I'll never forgive you, and neither will your mom."
He sucked in a breath. "My mom will love me no matter what. Wish I could say the same about yours-"
Suddenly, there was a pressure on his chest as Hanamaki pushed him backwards. He could see Matsukawa doing the same thing to Iwaizumi a few feet away. "That's enough, man. This isn't like you guys." He looked, slightly frantically, between Oikawa and Iwaizumi. "Can't you talk it out like normal people?"
Now, it was their turn to feign confusion. They looked at each other, then back to the two who were trying to break up their 'fight'. "What's wrong, Makki?" Oikawa said innocently.
"What's wrong?" Hanamaki hissed, pushing him back a little further. "What's wrong is that you're supposed to be best friends, and instead you're screaming at each other, scaring the first years." Oikawa looked around, feeling momentarily guilty. He caught a glimpse of Kindaichi and Kunimi. The former was looking mildly traumatised, while the latter seemed to have been recording the whole thing on his phone. They would be fine.
"It's not my fault Iwa-chan is being a brute," Oikawa sniffed.
"You ate my omelette right off my plate this morning. How am I the brute?"
"Well, that's your fault for hogging all the blankets last night. I shivered so much that I needed those extra calories to replenish, or else I would wither away and die-"
"Wait a minute." Hanamaki backed away from Oikawa, staring between the two of them. Matsukawa blinked slowly, mouth slightly slack. "Is this a joke? Are you shitting me?"
Skipping over to Iwaizumi, Oikawa let the grin he'd been holding in spread across his face. "I don't know what you're talking about, Makki. C'mon, Iwa-chan, we have training to do." Then, he took Iwaizumi's hand and pulled him into action, urging him to dump his things to they could leave. Matsukawa and Hanamaki were still rooted to the spot. If Oikawa was being honest, It served them right for trying to profit off other people's love lives. "Makki, Mattsun. We have places to be, let's go."
"You almost gave us both a heart attack," Matsukawa said, though his bored-sounding tone and expressionless face could have fooled Oikawa.
"That's what you get for making money off your dear friends," Oikawa said jovially.
"When idiots do idiot things, they gotta deal with the idiot consequences," Iwaizumi added, squeezing Oikawa's hand. "Let's go, Tooru."
Hanamaki seemed put out by this. "It all worked out in the end. Water under the bridge?"
Looking over his shoulder at him, he stuck his tongue out. Iwaizumi didn't bother to look back, simply saying, "Buy us both ramen after school and we'll talk." Then, he pulled Oikawa by the hand put of the door and down the path to the gym. It felt like a long time coming, but Oikawa couldn't bring himself to care, skipping happily at Iwaizumi's side. The world seemed lighter now than it had 24 hours ago. The sky was blue, the grass was green, Iwaizumi loved him. And now he knew he would never have to question that fact again.