Work Text:
The rain falls heavily, darkening the skies as if it was night.
As heavy as the rain, it’s Kaoru’s sigh. There’s nothing good about rainy weather – that means no customers, no girls, no surfing or beach. His hair and skin also dislikes it, it’s a pain in the ass to lower the frizz and avoid them getting greasy. Still, he has work to do, and no matter how boring it’s going to be, he can’t run away. Not from that at least.
He goes to the live house, not really excited for his shift. Even his surroundings look dull, so he doesn’t really bother to look around. He just didn’t imagine that walking while looking at the floor would give him a sight more unpleasant than the rain.
Kaoru clicks his tongue, averting his eyes while going down the stairs to the Underground Live House, letting behind a familiar silhouette.
Kagehira Mika. He was just there, sitting at the top of the stairs like a scarecrow. Or maybe like a crow watching over a dead body. Such an annoying thought… Would that make him the dead body?
He ignores it – he knows the boy means problem. The last time they talked, Mika begged for him to let Valkyrie perform at the live house. Of course he denied it! Valkyrie was something of the past and there it should stay, better in a museum or something like that. Totally not adequate for a live house – he could even hear his dad screaming. But Kaoru wasn’t really a fan of seeing someone kneeling in front of him in such a miserable way.
In the end, he agreed, secured Valkyrie a spot and that’s all. Sometimes, when the schedule is too empty, he even manages to convince his brother to invite them again despite everything. And that’s it. Not his problem. Nope. Not at all. No matter if Mika is standing in the rain without an umbrella with such pitiful expression…
“Ahh, mou!” Kaoru grunts annoyed, scratching the back of his head after closing his umbrella and letting it aside to dry. He slides the door again, staring at where the raven-haired boy is. “You can come in, Kagehira-kun. Don’t stand in the rain.”
Where’s Itsuki-kun, he wonders… Not that anyone has been seeing him that much.
“Ngha!” Mika gets startled, looking around as if troubled before nodding and rushing to the live house inside.
“Wait, wait. Stop there. I don’t want you watering my floor. You can slip too, you know?”
Mika stops right at the place, nervously squeezing the bag he has been carrying against his chest. Kaoru sighs, stretching his neck. Somehow, he just feels like he’s sheltering a kitty from the rain… He brings a towel for Mika and a mop to dry the floor where he is without saying a word. He doesn’t want more problems and Kagehira is a boy. For sure, he has a really nice, pretty face, even Kaoru needs to recognize it, but . Still a boy. He really doesn’t want to waste energy with one, especially when his mood is already so bad.
But then, Kagehira also doesn’t say anything, and after a while it just… starts to get weird.
Kaoru really hates rainy days.
“Sit down a bit, I’ll make some coffee. You don’t want to get sick.”
“M-mh… Thank ya, Hakaze-senpai.”
Mika can’t get sick, actually. He’s the only one now, the only one stopping Valkyrie from disappearing in nothing… They’re already shattered, broken into pieces. He isn’t even sure if he can pick up the cards… A fallen card castle. He needs to hold it back. It’s the only place he has. But he also doesn’t bother to say anything.
At some point between making the coffee and checking the board with the groups from the day, Kaoru gets tired of the silence. He isn’t really interested in having small talk with another man, but Valkyrie seems to have gotten a last-time spot. Not really surprising, as rainy days aren’t really good for businesses. But there’s no bad weather for drunk people. So a bit of talk while he’s organizing everything for the opening wouldn’t hurt.
“So~ Kagehira-kun. Are you going to perform today, right? Where’s Itsuki-kun? Is he coming as well?”
He thought it wouldn’t hurt.
As he puts the mug in front of Mika and asks, he sees his face getting blank. For a moment, quick enough for Kaoru to think it was only his imagination, or maybe a trick of light, he thought the other boy was going to cry. Instead, as quick it came, it arrived, and he smiles at him, apologetic.
“Uhh~ah… Oshi-san’s not feelin’ good… He told me to came first, but…”
Poor boy , Kaoru thinks within himself. He doesn’t even know if his ultimate is going to come, does he? Everyone knows Itsuki’s state, so it isn’t really a surprise. Kaoru just can’t understand why Mika tries so hard for an already doomed fantasy.
“I see. So, drink your coffee and after that you can already use the rooms to get ready. You don’t want to get a cold. There’s a hair dryer too. Feel free to use it~”
Finally a small smile from Mika. Better than nothing.
“Thank ya kindly, Hakaze-senpai. ‘m gonna to do it.”
Kaoru smiles back. Better this way. He couldn’t care less what’s happening with Valkyrie or whatever, but since they’re booked, a performance it’s needed or else it’s going to trouble the live house. Simple like that. This is not Yumenosaki, so no matter how that is going to happen. Even if it’s just Kagehira alone.
Mika is pretty good at obeying, it seems. He finishes his coffee and disappears in the staff area without saying a word. With a bit of luck, it’s going to be a calm night. Since it’s raining, probably Kaoru won’t have much work to do as most customers ran away from this kind of weather. While he isn’t particularly interested in Valkyrie, he decided to take a look. Usually he is too busy with girls to pay attention anyway… so it’s a good chance. To kill some time at least.
He sits at one of the bar’s stools, observing the stage going dark. Only one spot of light is turned on when Kagehira shows up, his dark uniform almost blending with the background. If he’s not wrong, Mika usually stays behind Shu, so…
“Ah~ it’s going to start.” Kaoru mutters, staring at the stage with interest.
Poor boy. He’s shaking. Kaoru can tell even at that distance, and he isn’t really expecting a good performance – or a performance at all, but for the business sake, he hopes his adorable junior is able to do something. He observes Mika take the center of the stage with a deep breath and, without a word to the small audience, starts to sing.
Mika sure is Itsuki’s pupil. Kaoru never really cared or bothered to watch Valkyrie’s performances, but their fame once preceded their name – including the part of not talking with the audience. A stupid move, if you ask Kaoru. When you’re at top, it might be seen as cool and your public will respect that, but when you’re at the bottom, it will be seen as arrogance and no one will be there if you’re not nice or obedient enough to rouse some sympathy. And you always can hit the bottom. That’s something he knows.
Still… Kaoru feels like he was hit by something. It’s a powerful, melodic voice, slightly melancholic. Like a cry in the middle of night. It’s a bit rough here and there, but it’s so full of raw emotion that gives him a shiver. Mika is supposed to be only a puppet controlled by the sovereign's strings, then… how so? How can he show so much emotion as if nothing else mattered in this world?
“Kagehira-kun…”
He can’t really explain. It’s like a painful scream from someone bleeding to death, but no blood was there to be seen. It makes him want to cry. So spontaneous… and so tragic. The lonely crow is screaming, crying for help, but no one is there to hear it.
“Get out of here! We want some nice music, not that sad bullshit!”
Kaoru gets startled, looking around and seeing the small audience getting a bit out of control after the complaint of a less than sober old man. Another bad side of the small public: a single voice is enough to spread like fire among the drunken. Mika's voice trembled, but he didn't stop singing until a plastic cup was thrown on the stage and he yelped while dodging. Oops . He guesses he needs to intervene. Kaoru hurries to step on the stage and take the microphone.
“Well, well~ this night is kind of sad because of the rain, right? Let's all calm down, no need to do that, okay~. We still have more artists and bands to come, I’m sure there’ll be something for all tastes, so let's not end the night early. You don’t want that, right?”
Somehow, he manages to calm down the small public. Everyone knows him after all… And Kaoru is good at that. Sometimes, you just need to bow your head and apologize – maybe if those stupids from Valkyrie knew that, they wouldn’t be where they are right now… Not his problem, anyway. Sighing relieved, he turns to see if Kagehira is fine. Poor boy , Kaoru thinks again. He's shrinking as if trying to hide in the shadows…
“Can you keep going?” Pulling away from the microphone, Kaoru asks in a whisper to Mika, who doesn't look in his better shape.
“Mm-mh… y-yeah, thank ya, Hakaze-senpai.”
Mika goes back to sing as if it was nothing despite what happened. Kaoru is impressed, but also… confused. Why? Why go so far for… nothing? At least, he could finish his songs and the public got calmer, making Kaoru relieved the night would apparently go smooth from now on.
He’s a bit inquiet, though… There’s some time already and Kagehira didn’t show up. He decides to check on Mika, not because he’s worried or something, but since he is still a junior student, just seeing if he’s fine wouldn’t hurt.
“Kagehira-kun?” He calls, knocking on the dressing room door. “It’s me~ Kaoru. I’m coming in.”
Since there’s no reply, he opens the door, first hearing the noise from the hair-dryer and then spotting Mika trying to dry his school uniform with that.
“Kagehira-kun?” Kaoru calls again, hearing a sniff as an answer before Mika turns to look at him.
“Nhga! H-hakaze-senpai!” He gets startled and almost lets the dryer fall. He’s quick to rub his eyes with the sleeves of Valkyrie’s uniform. Shu totally would get mad if he saw that… “S-sorry…” Mika bowed his head, turning off the hair dryer. “Promise ‘m goin’ soon, uhh…”
“Ah…” Kaoru blinks, understanding the situation. His expression softens. “I see. You were in the rain with your uniform. Don’t worry about that, take your time.”
“Thanks, senpai…” Mika bows, but soon a soft giggle is heard and Kaoru gets confused.
“Huh? What is it?”
“A-ah…! Sorry nyehghe…” Mika scratches the side of his flushed face. “I thought yer were kinda scary, but seein’ now yer real nice, huh?”
Kaoru is taken aback by the compliment.
“I really don’t want to hear it from a guy…” He sighs tired, ignoring Mika's confused look. “Oh, well. You really did your best out there, so a bit won’t hurt. I bet Itsuki-kun would be proud. Although I can’t really understand why you’re still trying so hard for something already doomed…”
“Eh?” There’s a crack on Mika’s smile. “What do ya mean?”
“Huh? Isn’t that obvious?” Kaoru blinks, staring at Mika genuinely confused. “No one cares about Valkyrie anymore. Not even Itsuki-kun, I’d say. At this point, I think only Kagehira-kun is worried about that. I really don’t understand, despite being rough, your singing voice is pretty, I’m sure you could find another unit…”
“Shut up.”
Kaoru was just talking without really noticing the somber expression that took the younger’s face. Mika’s voice is too low, he barely can hear him.
“Huh??”
“S-shut up!” Mika repeats, this time louder. “Yer know nothin’, senpai! Y-you… you don’t understand! Don’t ever talk about Valkyrie again…! Stupid…! Hakaze-senpai, stupid!”
Mika pushes the hair dryer to him with more strength than he seems to have, making Kaoru almost lose his balance. He just can watch Mika go out running, first confused, and then… bothered. Why? Why did Kagehira look so hurt? He was trying to help !
Well.
Not his problem.
He glances over the half-dry school uniform from his junior. Oh shit . What a tiresome night…
Quietly, he touches the fabric, wondering what to do…
“Ah… He cried, huh…”
[Next Day, Yumenosaki High]
“Haa… Why do I have to make something so troublesome…”
Kaoru sighs, staring at the paper bag he’s carrying with himself today. He couldn’t just let Mika’s Valkyrie uniform hang in the live house dressing room… It would just bother the others, besides, Mika needs it, right? Probably. Still, so troublesome.
For now, he decides to put it in his shoes’ cabinet. No need to hurry. It’s not like Valkyrie has any performance for the day… And it’s easier to find Kagehira in the club’s room after classes anyway. So that’s the plan.
As he closes the cabinet, though, he feels eyes on him. Kaoru looks around, taking a while to find just a blue eye staring at him. Mika is half-hidden by the corridor wall, but it’s clear it’s him.
“Yahoo, Kagehira-kun~”, Kaoru waves to the boy.
He doesn’t really like greeting a boy with such a cheerful smile, but… He feels a bit bad after making him cry. Mika jumps startled at being caught, disappearing quickly without a word to Kaoru, who blinks slowly, confused.
Did he mess up that badly?
“Ouch,” he sighs defeated, “Kagehira-kun is not a girl, but if someone with a pretty face gives me a cold look even I would feel bad… Haa…”
If it was only once, it was bad enough, but during the whole day he felt something weighing on his back, but as soon as he turns around, he’s only able to see a ruff of raven hair disappearing or a quick glimpse of golden and blue eyes.
“... and that’s what is happening.”
“Haa? Isn’t that Itsuki’s pupil?” Izumi frowns at what Kaoru is telling him. “What the hell is he thinking! That ends now.”
Kaoru is startled, for a few seconds being able just to observe Izumi standing up before following him.
“N-no, wait, Sena-kun! There’s no need for that, right? I’ll talk with him later… probably! So it’s going to be okay!”
“But it’s bothering you, right? I’ll take care of that for you, Hakaze.” He opens the classroom door, looking around. Maybe as expected, he hears a ngah! sound and Mika trying to walk away. Sena’s expression turns a bit scary. “Ka-ge-hi-ra-kun. Come here. It’s not polite ignore your senpai~ ♪”
Mika thinks he’s scary. His expression is scary. That Knights’ senpai is pretty… but he looks like a devil! He tries to run away, just to be grabbed by the collar, pretty much like a cat.
“Nhga! I-I did nothin’, Sena-senpai…!”
“Haa? Don’t try lying to me! Aren’t you following Hakaze? What the hell do you want with him?”
Sena throws Kagehira against the wall. Well, he makes sure to not hurt Itsuki’s doll, but makes Mika understand why he’s known for bullying juniors… He feels cornered. Actually. He is cornered. Izumi is blocking his way and Kaoru is right behind him, standing with an awkward expression.
“S-sena-kun, I said it’s okay…”
Mika curls up, almost as if trying to blend himself with the wall.
“Uhh~ah…” He averts his eyes, he really dislikes being stared… “I… uh… ‘ts just… I was rude with senpai yesterday, so…”
“So what?!”
“S-sena-kun…! Please…” Kaoru’s voice is almost desperate. It was not supposed to escalate like that! He really dislikes fights!
“I… I… nhgg… w-want to apologize…”
“Haa?” Izumi crosses his arms, the pretty face frowning. “And that’s why you are stalking Hakaze?”
“....! ‘m not stalkin’....! I mean–”
“Sena-kun…!” Kaoru gets between both, laughing nervously as he gently pushes Izumi away from Kagehira. “I’ll talk with Kagehira-kun, right? Thank you for your help, really, really! But I’ll be fine now, right?”
Izumi looks at his classmate as if highly suspecting of what he’s saying, but he gives up, sighing heavily.
“Well. It’s not my problem anyway! I don’t have time to stress over it, it would ruin my perfect expression anyway.”
“Right, right. Thank you so much, Sena-kun!” Kaoru quickly agreed, nodding repeatedly.
“You know where to find me anyway. Bye, Hakaze.”
Sena gives a last look to Kagehira before disappearing back to the classroom. Kaoru sighs with relief, turning to Mika with a soft smile.
“Sorry for that, Kagehira-kun.” He says, looking at the other shaking his head. “In fact, I wanted to talk with you, too. You forgot your unit uniform last night, right? It looks important to you, so I was planning to give it back to you after classes. But since we are here, why don’t you come with me?~”
Mika looks hesitant.
“What about yer classes, senpai?”
“Ah– About that~. Don’t mind, don’t mind. Just once is fine. Shall we go?”
Supposedly Mika also has classes, but the mention of his Valkyrie uniform grabbed all his attention. Oshi-san didn’t even get mad last night, when he arrived without his uniform and all wet… That’s the moment he needs to treasure it even more. Quietly, he follows Kaoru at a safe distance, which makes Kaoru kind of feel bad… Even if he doesn’t care about guys at all, it’s not like he wants to be treated like a suspicious person. But he guesses he did deserve it and doesn’t mention anything, keeping a friendly smile.
“We’re here~. Let me get it in the cabinet… Ah, don’t worry, I put it in a bag, so it wouldn’t get dirty.” Kaoru explains, opening his shoes’ cabinet, grabbing the paper bag. “Aaand. Done. Here, Kagehira-kun.”
Mika hesitates. He spies Kaoru through his bangs, raising his hand to hold the bag, but he doesn’t make any movement to take it off from Kaoru’s hands. Instead, his voice sounds small, so low it’s almost unnoticeable.
“... Why?”
“Huh?” Kaoru blinks, tilting his head in search of Mika’s expression, not sure he heard what the other said.
“Senpai’s bein’ too nice with me… I even pushed ya… s-so… I dun’ understand…”
“Ah… haha…” Kaoru chuckles, embarrassed. “Are you worried about that? I really hurted you, right? I don’t really understand why someone would try so hard, but I can see Kagehira-kun is doing his best. It was pretty insensible of me, so I kinda deserved it~?”
He smiles, a bit worried, a bit trying to relieve the tension, scratching the back of his head with the free hand. He really doesn’t understand. To be honest, Mika looks pretty stupid if you ask him. Debating like a butterfly already trapped in a spider net, trying to fight against a single, inevitable destiny…
He’s stupid. That Kaoru knows for sure.
But when he thinks about his tears, the powerful voice as if yelling for help, going against a world that did not spare a look before crushing them, as if screaming I am here! ...
Kaoru also can’t help but feel a bit jealous. Must be nice… blindly fight for what you want to protect.
“Kagehira-kun really is brave.” He doesn’t notice the words just flee from his mouth. He also doesn’t think too much, noticing his hand is placed on Mika’s head only when it’s already there. “You’re doing a great job. I respect it.”
“Ah…”
Mika blinks, surprised with the hand caressing his hair. It’s… so soft, so gentle… so warm .
He bites his own lip, the little fangs piercing the skin.
You’re doing a great job .
Kagehira-kun really is brave.
Those words… form a knot on his throat.
He even tries to swallow the feelings, threatening to overflow, knowing Shu always was right, because he’s only a doll, a broken doll, as he isn’t supposed to feel. He isn’t supposed to be like that. Just obey the commands without thinking, without feeling. That was his happiness. or it was supposed to be, but now… He’s so tired. Even more than in any training Shu could ever give to them.
It’s lonely, dark, and cold.
Mika knows he’s stupid. Everyone says that – Shu said that, so it’s obvious that’s true. But… without his strings, he’s just lost. If he didn’t do anything, so what…? That’s the only thing he has. The only thing he ever had. Even if it’s stupidity, that’s all he can do. Because he doesn’t have anything else.
He never expected to be recognized – or so he always said to himself. He would always lose, right…? No way he can be a perfect doll. He has been broke since the start. He’s dyed in black since the beginning. He has no right to even hope… But still. But even so–
“K-kagehira-kun?! W-why are you crying…? A-ah…! I messed up again? S-sorry…!”
Mika isn’t sure when the tears start to overflow. When he notices Kaoru’s voice calling him, worried about him, he’s already sobbing, hugging the paper bag with too much strength against his own body. Oshi-san will get mad , he thinks in some place of his mind, but he can’t help himself. Mika tries to answer, Hakaze-senpai didn’t do anythin’ , but he just choked with his own tears while shaking his head. Kaoru is confused and worried, and he can’t really say who moved first, if it was Mika getting closer to him or his hand bringing the younger boy's head to hide in his chest. It tightens his heart…
You are tired too, right? Kagehira-kun…