Work Text:
Cady didn’t expect to attend her 20th high school reunion. She’s not really friends with anyone from high school anymore. While she repaired a lot of her relationships in senior year, especially after Regina started playing lacrosse to channel her rage in a significantly healthier way, none of them were really friends after junior year. It didn’t help that Regina never apologised.
2025 is supposed to be her year. At the beginning of the first quarter, Cady got that big promotion she’s been eyeing up, which came with a significant raise. She finally bought a new mattress to replace the one she’s been hauling around since college. Cady’s even been saving for and planning a trip to Japan with her best friend (who her mother thinks that she is dating). The reunion wasn’t even on her radar, until she got a message from Gretchen, asking if Cady was going to go.
It’s been 20 years. 21 since the whole Burn Book fiasco. Cady holds no bad blood over it. She forgave Regina and Janis forever ago when carrying a grudge became too burdensome. She’s learnt and re-learnt her lessons, and she’s not in high school anymore. Cafeteria politics don’t have any hold over her anymore, especially because she hasn’t stepped foot in an actual cafeteria since college and cafeteria politics didn’t exist in the dining hall.
Cady would honestly rather not go to this reunion, but Gretchen is the only person from high school who is still in contact with Cady. Instead, she clears her calendar, asks for two days off, and looks for a somewhat cheap flight to Chicago. And then she asks her most favourite coworker (who her mother thinks she’s dating), Avery, for a ride to the airport since she lives in Burbank anyway.
Driving from her office in Marina del Rey home to Mar Vista, Cady calls her parents.
“Hi Cady.” Her dad’s voice is tinny but comforting over the phone.
While in traffic, she catches up with her parents, asking about her mom’s finals. Good thing she didn’t study zoology at Northwestern because there’s no way that she would pass some of her mother’s classes. She chats with her parents for a bit before dropping the reason she called.
“So the North Shore High class of 2005 20 year reunion is coming up and I think I’m going to attend. Can I stay in the guest room for that weekend?”
“Of course, honey! How long are you staying?”
“Three or four days, depending on the flight I get.”
“Are you sure you’re going to go? Even after everything that happened with Regina?” her mother asks, still a little bitter over the whole junior year debacle.
“It’s been 20 years, mom. If she’s still bitter about it, that’s her fault. I’m not going to engage with her if I can help it. I’m mostly going to see my boys, Gretchen, and Karen.”
“Well, I suppose you are an adult now—“
“Mom!” Cady whines, cutting her mother off.
“I’ll set up the guest room for you,” her mom says, much more affectionate than her previous statement.
“Thanks, guys. I’ll talk to you soon; I have to make a stop at the grocery store right now.”
“Okay. Love you, honey.”
“Love you too. I’ll see you soon!”
If she were still in high school, Cady would be so embarrassed by how excited she is to see her parents, but she hasn’t been home for a couple years. Of course she’s excited to see her dad and maybe even throw the football around (it’s tradition every time she’s at home now, seeing as it was tradition every time her dad had time when they were in Kenya).
With her groceries in her arms, Cady stops by her neighbour’s apartment to ask if he can take care of her animals for the weekend she’s gone, bribing him only a little with his favourite (and slightly expensive) chocolate truffles.
Having everything set up means that all she has to do is find a flight and then get herself to Evanston. It shouldn’t be too hard.
<>
Being back home is only a little weird. Her parents’ routines have changed and they no longer do family dinner. She makes them sit down together for the first night she’s home after she’s made loco moco for dinner (her recipe will never be as good as the place she gets takeout from once a week, but her parents have never had Hawaiian food so she might as well cook it for them), for old time’s sake.
Cady yells into the house that she’s going to go for a walk around the neighbourhood, even though her parents aren’t strict about her leaving the house anymore because she’s a whole adult. She’s looking at all the yard signs that read “North Shore Class of 2025,” not really paying attention to anything other than who in her neighbourhood currently attends North Shore, when a car pulls up slowly next to her. Now Cady’s a whole adult woman. She hasn’t been catcalled and she hasn’t been harassed before, but that doesn’t mean that she doesn’t have a hand on the pepper spray in her pocket.
“Hey, loser.”
Regina’s voice is the same. Her hair is darker but her smirk hasn’t changed. She’s all too similar to the Regina that Cady remembers from high school. And as much as she doesn’t want to interact with Regina, it’s a little bit too much of a dick move to straight up ignore her.
“Hi, Regina.” She doesn’t mean to sound that resigned, but Cady doesn’t have the energy to deal with any sort of drama right now.
“Damn. No need to sound like you’re happy to see me or anything, Cady.”
“How are you?” Cady decides to exchange pleasantries before making up some excuse about having to leave.
“Aw, when did you become so lame?”
Behind her sunglasses, Cady rolls her eyes. “It was good seeing you. Are you going to the reunion?”
“No shit, loser.”
“Okay. I have to go now. See you soon.” Regina’s scoff echoes in the empty street. Cady doesn’t care enough to do anything to appease Regina because she’s not the version of herself from high school. She continues on her walk.
It doesn’t make sense to her—how is Regina the same from high school? Has this woman not learned from her mistakes? Cady thought that Regina had learned, especially during senior year. Well, it’s not her business. She doesn’t need to focus on Regina. This isn’t junior year anymore.
Cady doesn’t mention this when she gets back to her parents house; her mom worries enough about her and Regina, still. She does mention this to Gretchen, though. They meet for drinks the day before the reunion, gossiping only a little after Gretchen’s Facebook and LinkedIn stalking session (she’s not super invested in everyone’s lives, mainly because she has other people's drama to be invested in).
“Regina’s a stay at home mom, now. Her first kid, Orion, is a freshman at North Shore. Her second, Hayleigh, is in eighth grade. Her third, Ivory, is in sixth grade. Can you believe she has three kids?”
“Well, she always did have a good relationship with Kylie.”
“Yeah, but the Regina George from high school would never be caught dead getting pregnant—it would ruin her physique!”
“Well, I didn’t see much of her since she was in the car, but I bet she does, like, pilates and pole dancing.”
“Cady—I—what?”
“She just seems like the type, you know?”
“Don’t you have a girlfriend? Why are you thinking about Regina’s body?”
“Why does everyone think I’m dating Avery?”
“You’re not?”
Cady drops her head onto her hands.
“I swear I’m not dating Avery,” Cady mumbles into her hands. “The woman I’m kinda seeing is named Elle.”
“Ooh! You didn’t tell me this last time we talked.”
“You didn’t ask, Gretch.”
“You never tell me anything anymore!”
“Remember the time you spilled all of Regina’s secrets to me?”
“Oh. Yeah. Okay. Valid.”
Karen arrives later with her current husband (husband number three) who, instead of letting the three of them catch up, tries to convince them of the value in crypto currency. Even Karen, who is admittedly quite stupid (she said it, not Cady), doesn’t believe in crypto—her husband is just rich.
Once Cady’s tired of listening to this 20-something guy try to convince her that her return on investment is practically secured if she invests in EnderCoin, she makes an excuse about it being late (it is) and walks to her car. It’s still warm out and Cady takes a moment to stare up at the stars. It’s hard to see the stars with all the light pollution, but she can make out Orion’s belt to the west and Cassiopeia to the north.
Regina’s leaning casually against Cady’s dad’s car when she makes it to the car. She doesn’t want to know why Regina’s waiting for her at the car, and she doesn’t really want to know why, but of course Regina’s going to tell her.
“So, Cady. You’re hanging out with my friends but not me?”
“Gretchen invited me out. Ask her. I’m sorry, Regina, but I really have to go home.”
“Boo, you whore.”
Being back in Evanston really feels like stepping into a time machine, but now she can legally consume alcohol. And if these encounters with Regina George don’t turn her into an alcoholic, nothing will. Should Cady be wearing a low cut top that shows far too much cleavage and mini skirts? It certainly feels like it.
Surprisingly, Regina allows Cady to get into her car and drive off without a fight. This reunion isn’t going to go great, if these are any indication at all.
<>
Kevin picks Cady up from her parents house. His wife, Alba, is in the front seat, so Cady clambers into the backseat next to Tyler, who apparently also hitched a ride with their former teammate. Cady’s wearing a white linen button up shirt tucked into neatly pressed tan slacks and her old Mathlets jacket to complete the ensemble, as the three of them agreed (Marwan’s a year younger than her, Tyler, and Kevin, but he’s there in spirit). Tyler’s wife is pregnant and wasn’t advised to travel, and Cady really thinks that maybe she is at the age where she should probably be getting married. Maybe she should be getting serious with Elle.
The longer this drive stretches on, the more anxious that Cady becomes. There’s only so much that she can do to prepare to be absolutely torn to shreds by the apex predator. Cady lives alone, hasn’t had a serious relationship in a number of years (she and Elle are casual and not in the Chappell Roan version of casual), she cares more about her cockatiel Alejandro and her milk snake Fanta than almost every person on earth, and everyone thinks she’s dating her best friend even though Avery has a whole boyfriend. Regina’s definitely going to have something to say, if she’s anything like the glimpse of high school Regina that she’s seen since she’s been in Evanston again.
North Shore High School hasn’t changed. The hedges are still trimmed the same way, the bricks are only slightly more worn down, the front doors still squeak. Walking into the school in her old varsity jacket distinctly gives “peaked in high school,” and she’s waiting for the moment that Regina (and/or Janis) makes fun of her. The gym, the location of that horrible “junior girls’ attitude workshop,” looks about the same as Cady’s only Spring Fling. As soon as the three former mathletes and Kevin’s wife walk in, Kevin playfully mocks Cady’s speech. His wife admonishes him lightly, but it’s obvious that she’s amused.
Gretchen finds her at a table in the corner, Karen and husband number three (Cady’s not sure what his name is still) close behind her. Regina’s still nowhere in sight, which leaves Cady waiting. She hasn’t thought about Regina George for an extensive period of time since high school, but being back in Evanston really is like stepping into the past. When Karen’s husband steps out to grab drinks, Regina materialises at their little table.
“Hi girls!” Regina’s far too enthusiastic that it’s a little uncanny, especially after the two incredibly strange interactions that Cady had with her in the past two days.
Karen greets her cheerfully, but Gretchen and Cady are a little more wary (Gretchen’s suspicion is wild when the woman hasn’t actually seen her husband in the flesh). Karen’s husband comes back with drinks for himself and Karen, and he immediately tries to drag Regina into a conversation about crypto. Cady catches Damian’s eye across the room, and performs a pretty decent Irish goodbye. She picks up Tyler on the way to Damian because she’s going to need some sort of moral support.
Regina crashes this conversation too. Damian gushes over her outfit as if nothing happened during junior year—as if he wasn’t an active participant in trying to ruin Regina George’s life. Cady doesn’t think about junior year anymore, but that doesn’t mean that she wants to interact with Regina George anymore. She doesn’t need any of Regina George’s mess in her life anymore.
Cady manages to shake Regina, until Kevin decides that he wants to go home. Cady and Alba go to the bathroom, where Cady is once again cornered by Regina.
“So, loser, why are you avoiding me?”
“I’m not, Regina,” Cady sighs. “It’s just how it’s going.”
“That doesn’t even make sense.”
Cady stays silent as she washes her hands, hoping that Alba interrupts this conversation soon.
“C’mon, Cady. Don’t do me like this. I know you’re not a mean girl.”
The stall door squeaks and Alba steps up to the sink between Regina and Cady. Regina gets that nasty glint in her eye that Cady remembers from high school.
“Your shirt is so cute! Where’d you get it?”
“Thanks! Nordstrom. Well, Cady, we should probably head home.” Cady knows Alba well enough to know that she knows something is up with Regina. Alba’s always been a girls’ girl. During college she was always the one to make sure Cady slept enough, she made sure Avery stopped calling her toxic ex, and somehow all three of them graduated on time (and now Alba is married to Kevin of all people).
Cady practically hears Regina’s eye roll as Alba takes her hand and leads her out of the bathroom. Regina doesn’t follow them out. Cady’s not necessarily out to everyone she went to high school with. She’s out to her parents and close friends (which include Gretchen and the mathletes from high school and her college friends), and she hardly has a social media presence. Regina George, who has randomly decided that she wants to be involved in Cady’s life or whatever, doesn’t deserve to know anything about Cady’s personal life. Regina hasn’t been part of Cady’s life since junior year, really, so she has no right to know that Cady’s gay. If Alba’s trying to make it look like they’re dating, then so be it. If Regina thinks that they’re dating, then so be it.
<>
Regina sits down daintily at the booth that Cady and Alba are getting brunch at, as if she was invited. Cady’s starting to think that she’s being stalked by her high school crush (it was more of a friend crush than anything because Regina’s not her type at all), but then she remembers that Gretchen still asks “how high” when Regina tells her to jump.
Cady shoots off a text to Gretchen asking how Regina knew where she and Alba are brunching when Regina starts speaking.
“So, Cady, how much longer are you in town?”
“Not much longer. We fly back to Burbank tonight.”
“Oh, boo. We should totally hang out today before you leave.”
“I have to pack, Regina.”
“Ugh, you’re literally so annoying.”
“I’m sorry that I don’t have time to spend with you, Regina, but I didn’t plan for this when we planned this trip.”
“You’re such an idiot, you should have known.”
Cady winces. She braces herself for the rest because she’s heard something so similar being thrown at Gretchen in high school. Alba pulls her wallet out and starts pulling out cash, antsy to get out before she has to bail Cady out for assaulting Regina.
When Cady doesn’t respond, Regina mumbles “dyke” under her breath and gracefully steps out of the booth. Cady knows better than to react (she got in a hell of a lot of trouble in college for the one time she got pissed at someone calling her a dyke), so she instead makes eye contact with Alba across the table and both of them roll their eyes.
Once Regina has stepped out of the restaurant, Cady and Alba burst into laughter.
“She thinks we're together!” Alba wheezes.
“Dude! I’m expected to have carved out time for her! What kind of world does she live in?”
“She literally walks around like ‘my name is Regina George and I am a massive deal’ as if it hasn’t been, like, 20 years since she was considered cool.”
“She’s such a goddamn menace for no reason,” Cady whines. “Why can’t she just leave me alone, for fuck’s sake?”
“She’s obviously got a big lesbian crush on you.”
“Regina George is so not my type.”