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Jihyo is used to her mind running ten million thoughts a second. She’s used to it being the inevitable downfall of things around her— she can’t help it. She’s a procrastination humanization, and she thinks too much for her own good— that’s for sure. Jihyo even wishes for a switch to turn off her brain sometimes.
But as she sits here; in the quiet sanctuary of her apartment, she finds that her mind is just nearly silent. Except for the few that are able to sneak past the barricade that being in Hirai Momo’s presence provides.
The older woman’s body is entangled in her own beneath the sheets once again. Her head rests softly against Jihyo’s stomach, due to Jihyo being in a sort of sitting up position. Her thick black hair is down and messily sprawled across her pale, bare shoulders. Jihyo’s hand comes and rests on one, her thumb stroking over its smoothness and Momo—
“Mm…” Momo makes a noise of comfort, nuzzling closer to the younger woman. For a brief moment, Jihyo forgets.
She forgets about the outside world. She forgets about the fans who constantly say she’s dating god knows who. She forgets the ‘fans’ that comment on her or Momo’s body, she forgets the fans that spread rumors or make up lies. She even forgets the members. Jihyo can’t help it, she knows they would be supportive— but…
A low breath leaves Momo, similar to a dog that huffed. Jihyo feels her lips quirk up at the sound. “Silly girl…” She whispers, brushing aside some of the strands of Momo’s hair as she glances fully at her. And for another moment, she almost wants to add ‘ my silly girl’.
But was Momo hers?
Damn.
The two had been like this for years now. Probably since debut, or around that time. Sneaking into eachother’s dorm rooms when the others were away turned to sneaking into eachother’s apartments when they knew the other was home. Which was hard for Jihyo since Nayeon usually refused to leave to go anywhere.
Sneaky glances and stares turned to standing a bit too close, and then going as far to even accidentally brush lips.
Their first night things didn’t go past talking, which Jihyo greatly appreciated. She was young anyway, how was she supposed to tell her unnie she was still a virgin, and wasn’t ready? Somehow, she thinks Momo knew anyway. Maybe it was the way Jihyo carried herself, or the way she acted. She didn’t know, truly.
The night of their first intimate encounter had actually happened several months later when the whole group had decided to stay up and the few members that could decided to drink. Jihyo and Momo had both gotten way too into it— one thing led to another and then Jihyo woke up with her bare body pressed to Momo’s. And she wasn’t mad, or really even shocked about it. Honestly, Jihyo had wanted that to happen.
And when she questioned Momo about it, reluctantly the older had confessed she wanted that too. From there whatever this was began.
On some days, Jihyo liked to think of Momo as her girlfriend, though they hadn’t explicitly said anything about labels. She swore she heard Momo talking to her sister one day about her ‘ girlfriend’… but that could’ve just been her delusional mind.
The girls did everything a couple would do; they went on dates they swore up and down to the girls were hangouts, they spent hours wrapped up in eachother- sharing soft kisses and secrets, during filming they’d glance longingly at one another. It was bad, the fans took it upon themselves to make compilations of it all.
Problems never really raised until both girls were caught up in dating rumors…with other people. Their relationship got a bit messy, with neither believing the rumors but also neither disbelieving them either.
“Can you blame me?” Momo had said, arms crossed over her chest. “You said you’d never even thought of being with a girl before me anyway!”
Jihyo had felt her own frustration building up at that comment. So she wasn’t the quickest to realize her preference, who cares! “That’s not fair and you know it, Momo.”
Momo scoffed under her breath. “I feel like I don’t know anything. Like everything I did was just a stupid lie.”
The younger girl softened, seeing Momo’s eyes flick away as a look of sadness came over her face. And despite her initial anger, Jihyo took the older woman’s hands and squeezed them. “Momo,” She whispered, her voice as tentative as her touch. “Everything I told you, everything. It was the truth. Okay?”
Momo didn’t look her way— she was too busy blinking away the tears in her eyes desperately. Jihyo slid and instead wrapped her arms around her body. “I’m not losing you to stupid rumors,” She assured. “I swear. Don’t think like that. I know I might have realized I liked girls— no, I liked a girl too late, but that doesn’t diminish my feelings for you. Okay?”
A sigh left the Japanese woman’s lips, she pressed Jihyo closer and then nodded. “I’m sorry. You’re right.”
In that moment, Jihyo decided she hated and loved Momo all at once.
Jihyo blinked away the memory, looking down at Momo as her lashes fluttered sweetly. “Ah, good morning…”
Momo made a noise similar to that of a grunt, tugging the younger girl close against her with a faint nuzzle. “Morning..” She yawned. “Why are you up already…?”
“Just thinking.”
“Again?” The Japanese girl looks up tired and curious, meeting Jihyo’s eyes. “You think too much, babe..”
Jihyo’s heart fluttered. She sighed and squeezed the girl the tiniest bit tighter. “Mh. Yeah.”
A silence drifted between them, with Jihyo’s hand slowly moving to thread through Momo’s hair— lulling her slowly. “If you’re tired,” She suddenly began. “Then sleep more. We don’t have a schedule today.”
Momo hummed slowly. She reached and brought the girl down from her sitting position, tugging her close and nuzzling her face into her neck. “Lay with me..” She whispered. Momo was always like this.
Pulling Jihyo from her senses.
But Jihyo reluctantly agreed, the way she always would. She held the girl as if she was something that- in the blink of an eye, would be lost. Something that Jihyo had to clutch close to her.
“Okay.”
She’d stay and hold her. Again and again, no matter what.