Work Text:
Tecchou had a long day.
Ariana Grande went rouge and robbed a bank, Shrek kidnapped him and tried to steal his eyes, claiming that " THEY ARE SO FAKIN PRETTY LET ME EAT THEM AQUFQFHFOG", So Tecchou really wasn't in the mood for any more crime. But of course, no one would give him that much.
"TECCHOU GET UR LAZY ASS OVER HERE AND CLEAN UP THIS DOO DOO!!" Jouno screeched, pointing at a pile of crap that had had obviously come out of him. Tecchou then started hysterically sobbing as he ran away bc poop makes him emotional.
As he ran, he sang despacito bc yk yk.
Once he got tired, he threw himself onto the floor, which happened to be in the middle of the road but its ok, for the sake of the plot he won't get hit. Except for a little girl on a trycicle that kept screaming homophobic slurs at him. Suddenly, something inside of Tecchou's brain EXPODED!!!!! He finally had enough. He threw the little girl into oncoming traffic and ran away screaming "RAT TOES YOU STINKY CIVILIANS!!!"
Continuing his trek onward, he noticed the police were after him! YIKES! But as he was being chased, he saw an ant hill!
"Hol' up I gotta see this." He said, signaling with his left but cheek for the police to stop. so they did bc its rude not to honestly.
"Bro u almost done there?" one of the non alpha policemen said.
"No babygirl I'm plotting."
"Oh my bad." The police apologized.
Tecchou then realized that ants were the only creatures who knew how to live properly. Ants were the only ones who should have the right to live in this world. HE KNEW WHAT HE HAD TO DO. he had to give them little guns and tell them to take over the world.
"Do yall have any rlly small weapons?" He asked the police. luckily, they had about 20 million microscopic tasers in their pockets. "Thanks man." he said with a petite little bow he then gave the weapons to the ants. the ants didn't even need orders, as they started tasing every non ant that they saw. But they spared Tecchou and made him their pet.
THE END!!!!!!!