Chapter Text
The humidity in the air should've been Connor's first sign that this wasn't the best idea.
The darkening clouds in the distance should have been his second.
But unfortunately, Connor had made the poor assumption that he'd be able to get home before the storm started. And of course, he was wrong.
“Sumo? Sumo! Boy, where are you?” Connor calls for the large dog from where he stood at the bench. He'd taken Sumo out to the park, as per their usual evening routine, but the moment Connor looked away to take a sip of his thirium bottle before they headed back home, Sumo had disappeared.
Connor sighs and tosses the empty bottle into a nearby trash can as he calls for Sumo again. He doesn't even know how the Saint Bernard managed to leave his sight so fast, but now he had to find him, or else they'd be soaked by the time they got home. He begins walking down the path.
“Suuumo! Ugh, how did you- Oh! There you are.” He quickens his pace, spotting the dog in the distance, staring up at a tree as if he had spotted something. A squirrel or some sort of animal must've distracted Sumo. Connor quickly reattaches the leash to Sumo's collar, who proceeded to whine in protest at being found.
“C'mon, we have to get back home before the rain starts.” He begins leading Sumo out of the park, walking faster than usual to get home quicker, but of course luck was not on their side.
One moment, Connor was walking down the sidewalk, and the next he's nearly soaked in rain water. Connor groans at the sudden downpour, while Sumo barks happily and nearly pulls himself free from Connor's grip to jump into the nearest puddle. Connor holds onto the leash tighter and begins speed walking, then jogging back to the house, which was fortunately in sight by now. Sumo also begins running, though in newfound excitement at the rain rather than the need to get back home.
––––
They make it home and Connor quickly jams the house key into the door and opens it, quickly entering the house and shutting the door behind him. Thankfully he was wearing a jacket, but it was an old fleece jacket he had gotten at a thrift store while out with Hank, and it didn't do much to keep him dry. He takes the jacket off and places it on the coat rack by the door before crouching down and unhooking the leash from Sumo's collar. The dog immediately barks and lunges on him, nearly sending Connor to the floor with a startled yelp, but he keeps himself from falling. He holds onto Sumo to keep the dog from running off into the house and tracking mud and water everywhere.
“No, Sumo, sit!” Sumo barks at him defiantly but obeys, sitting down... for exactly 2.2 seconds, just long enough for Connor to loosen his grip. Sumo immediately proceeds to jump up on Connor, successfully shoving him to the ground and jumping over him, sprinting farther into the house to run around like a maniac, immediately proceeding to track rain water and mud everywhere.
“Ugh, no Sumo! Oh god, Hank's gonna kill me.” He pinches the bridge of his nose helplessly from where he now sat on the floor, suddenly processing what he just said. He's not human, nor religious, heck he barely believed in whatever or whoever rA9 was, and yet recently he found himself referring to “god’ fairly frequently to voice his frustrations. It was probably something he picked up from Hank, after all he'd been living with the lieutenant for about 3 months now after the revolution. He can't help but smile at that thought, though the moment is short lived as he quickly remembers the elephant in the room.
Or rather, the wet Saint Bernard in the room. He sighs, stands up, and claps his hands to get Sumo's attention. If he can get Sumo cleaned up before Hank gets back from the precinct, he can quickly mop the now muddied floor and get changed, then Hank'll never know what happened.
“Sumo, do you want a treat?” He calls as he walks towards the kitchen, grabbing a bag of dog treats and shaking it. Sumo comes rushing into the room and Connor grabs a treat from the bag, using it to lead Sumo towards the bathroom. The big dog follows him, eyes completely trained on the treat as Connor sets it down on the bathroom floor for him before stepping around Sumo and shutting the door. Sumo eats the treat and turns around, whining upon realizing that he'd been tricked.
“Sorry Sumo, but I can't have you dirtying up the house while Hank's gone.” He's not sorry, not at all. In fact, Sumo has been needing a bath for the past few days, Connor just hadn't had a chance to wash him yet, until today.
He steps around Sumo and leans over the bathtub, turning the knob to get the water going. He straightens and grabs a towel, placing it on the floor in front of the tub just in case something went wrong. He checks the time.
- 2039, February 23 -
- 5:50 P.M -
Estimated time before Lt. Anderson returns: 40 minutes.
40 minutes, ok that wasn't bad. Hank typically gets home at around 6:30. He'd have enough time to clean and dry Sumo, and hopefully get himself cleaned up before Hank arrived. He could work with that.
“Ok, Sumo, get in.” He turns off the faucet and pats the water to lure Sumo closer. For whatever reason, the dog stayed where he was, refusing to cooperate and instead letting out a dramatic whine.
“Oh come on, you loved the rain earlier and now you suddenly don't like water?” Sumo barks in response and Connor can't suppress the half-annoyed, half-amused sigh that escapes him. Of course Sumo was going to make it difficult for him. He stands up and decides to just wrap his arms around Sumo and pick the dog up, which understandably startles said dog as Sumo was 180 lbs and was most certainly not used to being picked up. Fortunately, androids were able to carry significantly more weight than the average human, so Connor had no trouble picking Sumo up, and luckily it seemed Sumo didn't really mind either as he didn't struggle from Connor's grasp after processing what was happening.
Connor carries Sumo to the tub and slowly lowers him into the water only to immediately get splashed with lukewarm water as Sumo begins to doggy-paddle the moment his paws touch the water, spraying the wall directly behind him.
“S-Sumo, stop it!” He yelps, though a smile is quickly working its way to Connor's face anyway. It was a bathroom, so the walls can afford to get a little wet, it wasn't a huge deal.
Connor fully lowers Sumo into the tub, muttering “good boy” a few times to him as Sumo complies, and splashes water onto the dog's fur. After thoroughly soaking the dog's coat, he grabs the pet-safe shampoo and begins rubbing it into Sumo's fur. Sumo had stopped moving as much, and Connor assumed he must've tired himself out when he sprinted around the house earlier.
Oh how wrong he was.
He's about to rinse the shampoo from Sumo's fur when his tail begins wagging and, before Connor knew it, the dog was suddenly jumping around in the bathtub trying to chase his own tail. Water splashes over the edge of the bathtub. Connor yells and hastily holds up an arm to block the wave from hitting him.
“WAIT NO! That's not what I meant! Sumo, stop moving!” He yells and immediately realizes he shouldn't have, as now the big mutt thought it was playtime and was getting even more riled up. Sumo barks, seemingly decides it's time to practice his professional swimming, and begins splashing around even more in the tub, effectively soaking Connor even more than he already was earlier. Connor's LED flashes yellow as he checks the time again.
- 6:00 P.M -
Time remaining: 30 minutes.
Well shit. So far, he's made little to no progress, unintentionally made things worse, was now soaked and only had less than 35 minutes until Hank got home. That, on top of the fact that his scanners estimated that Sumo’s wild behavior would delay the bath even further, giving them only ~20 minutes to actually wash him.
He had to take control of the situation. It was time to pull out the big guns.
“Bad dog, Sumo. I need you to listen to me.” He states, crossing his arms and narrowing his eyes as he looks at the dog. Eyes widening, Sumo stops splashing, looks at Connor, and lets out a small whine.
Well, now he just felt bad. Goddammit Sumo and his adorable big eyes.
He unintentionally melts under the dog's gaze, and Sumo, the bastard, notices this and immediately takes advantage of the situation before Connor’s preconstruction program can react to rear up, wrap both paws around Connor’s neck and pull him into the bath with Sumo, practically waterboarding Connor if he had to breath.
Connor slips on the wet tile and falls into the tub headfirst. He sputters, accidentally inhaling some water and splashing around to find something to grab onto. He grabs hold of the edge of the bath and sits up with a gasp, realizing then that Sumo had used that time to jump out of the tub and run out of the bathroom door, as Connor had failed to lock it, and run free in the house. Connor coughs up the water he swallowed, completely and utterly dumbfounded at what just happened.
The sound of the front door knob twisting freezes Connor on the spot. To his horror, the door opens and Hanks walks in.
- 6:05 P.M -
Time remaining: 25 minutes.
Error. Recalculating.
Time remaining: 0 minutes.
Oh, he's dead.
“What the fuck is going on here?! Sumo, down!” Hank yells, the sound of the door slamming shut behind him breaks Connor out of his momentary panic and he struggles to stand up in the tub.
“Connor? The fuck is Sumo doing-” Hank rounds the corner, most likely following the trail of water to the bathroom. Even with a quick scan of Hank's face, Connor is unable to tell if the older man's expression showed anger, concern or bewilderment. They make eye contact and both men freeze in their tracks.
Hank's eyes look him up and down for a moment, likely doing his own scan of the situation, a million emotions flashing across his face and Connor still can't pinpoint what emotion it is Hank lands on. A small, confused smile works its way onto Hank's equally confused face.
Then, he bursts into laughter.
“Lieutenant?” Connor can't stop the confused question from escaping him. The house was likely a mess, the bathroom was soaked, Connor was standing in the bathtub absolutely drenched in water and Hank thought that was… funny?
“Oh my god,” Hank wheezes, leaning against the doorframe as he laughs harder, “Holy shit, Jesus Christ, Connor what the fuck did you do this time?”
Hank's laughing fit calms down just long enough for Connor to respond, “I went on a walk with Sumo, and I miscalculated how long it would take to return home before the storm hit,” he stops as Hank begins laughing again.
“Right, continue.” Hank gestures for him to go on.
“... And when we got home, I tried to give Sumo a bath and, well…” Connor finally steps out of the tub, gesturing to the room as he does so. Clearly he doesn't need to explain the rest.
“You managed to fuck up bathing Sumo? Ah, who am I kidding, the mutt always won against me too.” Hank shakes his head, a fondness in his eyes as he looks Connor up and down again, and Connor is only more confused.
“You… aren't mad?” He asks hesitantly. Wouldn't Hank be upset at the state of the house? The ridiculous situation he found himself in?
Hank responds with another chuckle and shakes his head again, looking back out into the living room and kitchen. “Ehh, a little, but it's just water and some mud, it can be mopped up. And nothing looks broken.” He eyes Connor at that last part, lifting a brow and only looking satisfied when Connor shakes his head at anything being broken. Hopefully, he hasn't seen the living room after being nearly drowned by Sumo.
“Here, I'll keep an eye on Sumo while you get dressed.” With that, Hank leaves the bathroom, giving Connor the chance to finally get himself dried off. He grabs a towel and heads into his room at the end of the hallway, quickly drying himself off and changing into a pair of sweatpants and a gray sweatshirt. With that done, he walks out into the hall in time to watch Hank struggle to corral Sumo back into the bathroom.
“I attempted to use treats to lead him into the bathroom, and while it worked I'm pretty sure it also made Sumo act out.” He spoke as he approached Hank, who was now trying to just push the dog in the bathroom. Sumo was not budging.
“Oh no, your first mistake was assuming that he'd take a bath without a fight.” Hank huffed, giving up for the moment, “I think he's just fucking with us at this point.”
Hank's suspicions are proven right as, right at that moment, Sumo rears up, throwing Hank off of him and he's gone. Hank lets out a string of curses and Connor watches Sumo run into the living room again, chasing his tail and rolling around. He and Hank share a look.
- Mission Updated -
Catch Sumo
They take off into the living room, Connor taking the right and blocking Sumo's path to the front door while Hank takes to the left and begins trying to lure the dog towards him with the promise of treats.
“C’mere boy, I know you like treats, you want one?” Hank tries, but unfortunately Sumo isn't fooled by the same trick twice. He barks and turns around, running right in Connor's direction. He lunges forward and wraps his arms around Sumo triumphantly “I got him, Ha-” he calls, only to slip on the wet floorboard when the dog bounds right into him, sending him to the ground.
“Shit, hold on, I got him!” Hank runs around the couch and attempts to grab Sumo himself, but the dog dodges his attack and he too, ends up on the floor as Sumo runs into the kitchen.
“That dog's gonna be the end of me, I swear,” Hank mutters as Connor stands up to calculate the best approach at getting Sumo in the bathroom.
“Lieutenant, stand by the front of the couch so Sumo can't run that way again, I'll try to lead him out of the kitchen and then we can herd him to the bathroom.”
“Yeah sure, but cut it with that ‘lieutenant’ crap, I already told you to call me Hank.”
“Right, sorry Hank.” Connor nods, noting that there wasn't any actual heat in Hank's voice, and turns his attention back to Sumo. He slowly approaches the dog as Hank moves to block the couch, and Sumo barks at him defiantly from behind the kitchen table. He looks at Hank, who nods once, and Connor rushes the Saint Bernard, running around the right side of the table to further discourage him from running towards the couch. Sumo lets out a startled yelp and runs around the opposite side of the table, only to be blocked by Hank, who had quickly moved from his place by the couch to block Sumo's path to the rest of the living room. Cut off from the rest of the living room, Sumo runs down the hallway and Connor quickly runs after and around the dog to block off the rest of the hallway. Sumo pauses and turns around, seeing Hank now at the other end of the hallway. The dog barks and, officially out of options, runs into the only open room left: the bathroom.
“Quick! Close it!” Hank yells as he immediately runs into the bathroom, holding Sumo to make sure he wouldn't run out the moment he got the chance to. Connor quickly follows, shutting the door and locking it this time before turning to look at Sumo.
- Current Mission -
Catch Sumo - Successful
“Nowhere to go now, you big mutt.” Hank smirks as Sumo looks past him and at the door that Connor stood in front of, also smiling. Sumo lets out a whine and Connor crosses his arms, refusing to let this one work on him. It works, and Sumo finally gives up, allowing himself to be dragged to the bathtub and placed inside by Hank.
Connor nods approvingly and approaches the tub, reaching into the water and fishing the shampoo out of the water that had been knocked from the edge of the tub when Sumo escaped.
Hank holds Sumo in place as Connor starts splashing the water on Sumo once again before beginning to rub in the shampoo. Sumo finally seemed to calm down and Hank eventually lets go of the dog to help with rubbing the shampoo into Sumo's fur. The two work in silence for a few minutes.
- 2039, March 23 -
- 7:03 P.M -
The other elephant in the room suddenly dawns on Connor as he works, and he turns his gaze from Sumo to Hank, thinking.
“What's up?” Hank prompts after a moment of silence, and Connor startles, not realizing that Hank had noticed him staring.
“Nothing, I was just- wondering what you're doing here?”
“I'm here because I live here?”
“No, not that. What are you doing back so early? You don't normally get home until 6:30.” He was only just now fully processing the fact that Hank had come back earlier than usual. Did something happen at the precinct?
“I know that look, jeez, don't get your panties in a knot-”
“What?”
Hank chuckles at Connor’s confusion at the phrase “Don't freak out, Con, I just got my paperwork done on time for once and decided to head home early. I'm glad I did too, you were a mess.” Hank smirks light heartedly at Connor.
Connor looks away with a nod, suddenly feeling a little embarrassed for failing at such a simple task. But, at the same time, Sumo was not cooperating in the slightest. He feels Hank rest his hand on his shoulder, giving it a quick squeeze to show he didn't mean it like that.
He rinses the shampoo from Sumo's fur and goes in for another wash, rubbing in the shampoo a second time and rinsing that as well with minimal trouble. The most Sumo tried to do this time was attempt to swim in the water again, but the water level was so low due to… well, everything that happened a few minutes prior, the dog doesn't have much luck with that.
Satisfied, Connor helps pull Sumo out of the bathtub as Hank grabs another towel and together they dry Sumo off, giving up at fully drying his paws as the bathroom floor still has a gigantic puddle on it, but for now Sumo was mostly dry and that's all that mattered. They open the door and herd Sumo into Connor's room for a few minutes so they can clean up the living room and kitchen without the risk of Sumo getting dirty again.
Hank mops the floor while Connor picks up anything that Sumo could've knocked over –thankfully nothing was broken– in his rampage. Soon enough, the house is back to looking somewhat presentable. Connor was going to have to work on actually cleaning the house, but now this would do. Hank sighs and plops down onto the couch.
“That’s enough movement for me for one month. God my back's killing me.” Hank huffs as he grabs the remote to turn the TV on, and Connor can't help but agree with the movement part of his statement.
- Warning -
Power level - 72%
Stasis recommended
Connor sighs and dismisses the warning, already planning on taking a break after today's fiasco. He remembers about Sumo and he heads back to his room, opening the door to let the big dog out now that the house is clean again. Sumo shuffles out of the room with a yawn, as if he had the right to be tired right now, and walks towards the kitchen with Connor behind him.
Sumo sits down in front of his food bowl and watches as Connor grabs the bag of dog food and pours it into the bowl. Sumo barks once and begins eating, tail wagging as he does. Finally getting a chance to wind down, Connor sinks down into the couch next to Hank with an exasperated and somewhat, ok very, dramatic sigh.
Hank lets out a small chuckle and wraps his arm around Connor's shoulder as a rerun of last night's basketball game plays on the TV. Connor doesn't pay much attention to it –he was never a huge fan of sports, but Hank liked it so he never complained– so he just closes his eyes and leans against Hank's shoulder as the game plays.
A wet nose nuzzles Connor's hand and he opens his eyes to spot Sumo climbing onto the couch to settle in between the two. Hank rolls his eyes as Connor immediately gives in and makes room for the dog, allowing Sumo to rest on his lap with his head on Hank's leg.
“Y’know, I'm starting to think you're spoiling him too much, Con.” Hank grumbled despite petting Sumo's head.
“Perhaps, but it's worth it. Saint Bernard’s are very affectionate dogs, after all.”
“Yeah, and stubborn.” Hank gives Sumo a pointed look, but the faint smile on his face ruins the effect.
Connor just smiles and leans against Hank again, the arm around him tightening a little as Connor closes his eyes again, running his hands through Sumo's soft fur and finally entering stasis for the night.