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Gunter Schabowski took deep breaths on his way to an interview. He kept reminding himself that this interview would be ok, as long as nobody says the dreaded word "mistake". Because ever since that press conference, "mistake" along with "press conference" and "unverzüglich" had become trigger words for Schabowski, which always caused him to have panic attacks.
When he got to the interview place, he inhaled and exhaled sharply, mentally preparing himself for it. Schabowski is going to be fine.
"So, Mr. Schabowski, I heard about your mistake at the press conference." said the interviewer.
No. Not now. Why did you have to say those two words first? Schabowski thought, trying to take deep breaths to prevent another panic attack. It was just a mistake, calm down, Gunter. Alles wird gut gehen, wenn du nur beruhigst.
"And my question is: How did you feel after that?" the interviewer continued, not caring about Schabowski's panic attack. "Did you feel scared, angry, happy?"
"Um, neutral?" Schabowski replied. "I did not realize it was a mistake until Krenz told me."
Schabowski whimpered fearfully after that sentence. The interviewer finally looked at him in concern.
"Are you ok Mr. Schabowski?" The interviewer asked.
"Yeah, I'm ok, it's just those words…" Schabowski's voice trailed off.
"What words, Mr. Schabowski?"
"Mistake and press conference." Schabowski replied quietly. "I-I'm sorry for d-disrupting this interview. I'm so stupid. Why am I scared of making mistakes? Mistakes are normal."
"No, you didn't disrupt the interview, Mr. Schabowski." The interviewer said sympathetically.
"Yes, I did." Schabowski hyperventilated, tears falling quickly onto the floor as his breathing got quicker and shallower. "I disrupt everything. I make mistakes all the time, it's my fault that the GDR failed and because of that, I realized how bad mistakes were."
"Mistakes aren’t bad, mistakes are just-" The interviewer replied, but then he was immediately cut off by Schabowski.
"YES, THEY ARE!" Schabowski snapped, tears falling down his face. "I caused the GDR to fall! All because I made a stupid mistake! IF I JUST KNEW THE STUPID DATE, NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED! BUT NO, I DIDN'T, SO I MADE A MISTAKE. BECAUSE OF THIS STUPID MISTAKE, I HAVE NIGHTMARES AND PANIC ATTACKS ABOUT THAT STUPID PRESS CONFERENCE!!"
The interviewer was shocked by Schabowski's outburst. Schabowski was now whimpering softly and anxiously to himself.
"Fehler. Nur ein Fehler." Schabowski whimpered, his breathing was quick, shaky, and shallow. The interviewer, not caring about Schabowski's mental state, just continued on with the interview as if Schabowski's trauma didn't matter.