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Something was wrong.
It’s probably because he’s the captain that it’s ingrained in him to detect these things, but it was also getting painfully obvious that Hongjoong had started seeing fans getting restless about it as well.
Wooyoung and San fight. All the time. It was normal. They usually make up within less than a day but the longest they’ve fought was 24 hours. They started to fight less when they got together. As a couple. Yes, everyone knew. The fans probably did too but they were only making guesses. Little did they know their guesses were accurate.
So when he noticed that these two lovebirds had some tension between them, he didn’t pay any attention to it. Only this time, it didn’t seem to end.
Wooyoung had started sleeping back in his own room instead of San’s. They avoid each other during group activities but tried not to make it too obvious by mingling with other members. And San. Well, San had been different.
His smiles had not reached his eyes for what seemed like weeks. He kept getting distracted or simply zoned out. You rarely hear both their laughter anymore. Wooyoung and San had always been the sunshine of their group. The moodmaker. Either both or one of them if the other is tired or not in the mood. But it will always be at least one of them.
And now both of them had seemed to lose their light.
Hongjoong started to worry if the idol life was getting to them a little too much. Were they burnt out? Do they want to do other things instead? He wanted to give them space but the overthinking was eating him on the inside.
He decided to talk to San first.
They were in Japan and had one free day. Usually Wooyoung and San would simply enjoy that free day with each other. But of course, this time they didn’t. So Hongjoong asked him out. “Let’s go for lunch. And I want to drop by this store that had just opened a few days ago.”
San agreed with no questions asked.
At the end of the day, Hongjoong got nothing. It was probably expected because they don’t always talk heart to heart. Both Wooyoung and San were closer to Seonghwa if not with each other. The captain wasn’t offended. But he can’t help but feel a little helpless in this situation.
He went to Seonghwa’s room in the evening.
“Hwa, have you noticed anything different about WooSan?” Hongjoong sat on the bed as Seonghwa packed his things.
“Different as in? Fighting?”
Hongjoong nodded. So he noticed.
“Yeah. That’s normal though right? We’re used to it.”
“But it has been weeks. I noticed they started avoiding each other right after their short break together. They went to Namhae right?”
Talking to Seonghwa helped him a lot. He could voice out things in his mind and think things out loud. He didn’t even realize that everything happened right after that short break.
Seonghwa thought about it a little more, slowing down his packing and eventually sitting beside Hongjoong.
“That’s true. Wooyoung doesn’t sleep in San’s room anymore either.”
“My thoughts exactly!”
“And they both got quieter too.” Seonghwa thought out loud.
“I’m worried about them, Hwa. Can you maybe talk to them? I tried talking to Sanie but he’s not giving anything. All he said was ‘nothing’ or ‘everything is fine’. Like I was born yesterday??” Hongjoong threw his hands in the air.
“Okay, okay. Relax. I’m sure it’s nothing serious. But I’ll talk to them.”
Just as they landed back in Korea, Seonghwa asked San if he wanted to have dinner.
“My treat. Sounds good?”
San smiled up from his phone. After the talk with Hongjoong, San’s tired smile stood out so much more to Seonghwa now. He felt his heart sank for not noticing it earlier.
“Sure, hyung. Meet you outside in 5 minutes?”
“Cool.” Just before Seonghwa closed his door, he added. “Oh, ask Wooyoung to come along too. I remembered promising him a dinner treat last week.”
He didn’t wait for San’s reply. But seeing Wooyoung waiting outside of their dorm, he knew San had done what was asked. Not sure how, but he did it.
They went to a usual restaurant where they had pretty closed booths for them to have some privacy. Wooyoung and San loved the meat there. Maybe if everything goes right, Seonghwa could get something out of them.
The restaurant wasn’t that packed as it was quite late so they managed to get into a booth at the corner.
San chose to slide in first and Wooyoung sat opposite him. Seonghwa went to sit beside San. Wooyoung scoot a little to the middle. They ordered some of their usuals and San was back on his phone.
“Hyung, I saw that you did your big lego set on Youtube live that day. Did you finish it?” Wooyoung asked with a small smile.
“Yeah! Wait, let me find the photo.”
Wooyoung has been like that these days. He no longer cracks jokes loudly and he filters his words so much more that sometimes you don’t even know what he’s really thinking. He barely teased anyone about anything, much less with San. Hongjoong was right. Something was wrong.
Seonghwa showed the photo on his phone and Wooyoung complimented it all sincerely. No jokes about how expensive it must have been or asking if Seonghwa can still feel his fingers.
And then something quite unexpected happened. Wooyoung showed it to San.
“Sanie, look. Isn’t it pretty?” Wooyoung showed him the phone screen.
San looked up from his phone to look and nodded. He turned to Seonghwa with a smile. “Looks good, hyung.”
He went back to his phone and Wooyoung returned Seonghwa his phone. Wooyoung was about to say something again, probably to not make it awkwardly silent, but Seonghwa beat him to it.
“Okay I give up.” He snatched San’s phone from his hands and put it in on his side of the table. San finally looked up.
“Hyung, what–”
“What is wrong with the both of you? And don’t tell me there’s nothing wrong. I was trying to give the both of you space and privacy but you two acting like this is affecting–” he stopped himself because that wasn’t right. He was trying to find a better word for it when San spoke.
“It’s affecting the team. I’m sorry. I told Hongjoong hyung too. I’ll do better,” San said, genuinely apologetic but he also sounded tired. Wooyoung on the other hand was fiddling with his fingers and held his head down.
“No, that’s not what I mean,” Seonghwa sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “I know being an idol isn’t easy. And we can’t always be happy or cheery. I get that. So no, I’m not saying it’s affecting the team. Because it’s not. But I care about both of you. I want to help. You know you can talk to me about anything, right?”
Seonghwa tried to be as gentle as possible without being too forceful. If he pushed them too much, they would close up even more and any chance of Seonghwa getting anything would go back to zero.
But all he got was a quiet San checking for non-existent dirt under his nails and an even quieter Wooyoung, trying to scrape off something from the table.
“Wooyoung?” Seonghwa tried.
Wooyoung looked up. “Everything is fine, hyung. I’m sorry for making you worry.”
He tried to force out a smile and that’s when it broke. Wooyoung’s eyes suddenly welled up in tears and a blink made a tear fall that he wiped it away quickly.
“Sorry excuse me I have to go to the washroom,” Wooyoung said in one breath and got up before Seonghwa could even stop him.
Seonghwa turned to San. He was still fiddling with his nails but there was no way he did not notice Wooyoung was crying from the way his voice had shook. But he just sat there. It was very much unlike San to not care for Wooyoung, everyone knows that.
Not wanting to push San any more than he already had, he stood up and went after Wooyoung.
Wooyoung was washing his face, trying to get it together when the washroom door swung open. He looked up immediately and then turned back to the sink to wipe his face when he realised it’s Seonghwa. “Sorry hyung. I’ll be out in a minute. There was just a lot of dust.”
Seonghwa closed the door and walked closer to him. “You were expecting Sanie, right?”
Wooyoung forced out a laugh and shook his head. He turned to Seonghwa and leaned at the edge of the sink. “I know it can’t be him.”
Seonghwa put a hand on Wooyoung’s shoulder gently. “Wooyoung, talk to me please. What happened?”
It might have been a mistake because Wooyoung’s lips started quivering and his eyes welled up again. He looked down immediately but didn’t wipe away his tears. Instead he just let himself cry while holding the torn pieces of toilet paper in his hand.
Seonghwa pulled him close and hugged him tightly. He can’t help but to feel San had done something wrong but he trusted San. San would never hurt anyone on purpose. Especially Wooyoung.
Wooyoung hugged him back and buried his face on his shoulder.
“San is.. Sanie he..” Wooyoung was sobbing terribly that his words came out choppy. But Seonghwa waited patiently.
“Sanie is.. Sanie is getting married,” Wooyoung sobbed even harder, almost as if he was gasping for air. “His dad set him.. Set him up… with a girl.. A girl from Namhae.”
Seonghwa frowned and pulled Wooyoung back to look him in the eye. “He’s getting married??”
Wooyoung nodded, hiccuping his sobs along the way. “Next month.”
“And he didn’t tell his dad?? About the both of you??” Seonghwa knew San’s dad could be scary at times but he didn’t expect San not to stand up for his own relationship with Wooyoung.
“He wanted…he wanted to. But I stopped him. And I.. I.. I told his dad that.. that I would persuade Sanie…to accept her.” Wooyoung was literally bawling his eyes out and Seonghwa was still confused but he hugged him anyway.
Seonghwa rubbed comforting circles on his back and caressed the back of his head. “Wooyoungie… why…”
“His dad really wanted him to marry her, hyung. I can’t…”
“But he loves you, Young-ah.”
Wooyoung stopped talking altogether and just let out all his tears.
After Wooyoung had calmed down and they went back to their booth, San was already grilling the meat. As expected, he didn’t ask anything. Seonghwa couldn’t even find it in him to be mad at San for not going after Wooyoung. It’s Wooyoung. He would do anything for him. And apparently that includes getting married to someone he doesn’t know or love.
Dinner was quiet and Seonghwa couldn’t find it in him to ask anymore questions. San didn’t say anything about Wooyoung’s obvious red, swollen eyes but Seonghwa noticed that he had put more grilled meat in Wooyoung’s bowl than Seonghwa’s or his own bowl.
Seonghwa didn’t know if he should tell Hongjoong. It was obvious San didn’t want to tell a single soul about his arranged marriage. Which was happening in less than a month. They would probably get an invitation a day before the wedding or maybe not at all.
They were all quite busy the next few days after coming back from Japan that Seonghwa decided to keep silent about it first.
That dinner probably had sparked something in both of them though.
It was a normal magazine photoshoot day and they were all given the designer clothes that had been arranged for them. Wooyoung got a pretty short pair of shorts and he went to the stylist to ask if he could get long pants instead.
“Oh is there something wrong?”
“Uh nothing much. I just hurt my knee yesterday so it’s not very nice if I wear shorts,” Wooyoung explained quietly.
“Oh.. Hmm okay let me see if I can find longer pants or someone to switch with you,” their stylist replied kindly.
Everyone was almost dressed when she came back with a pair of long pants. “I managed to only find this that can fit you. It’s ripped jeans though. Will it be okay?”
Wooyoung took the pants gratefully. “Yes this is fine. Thank you so much, noona.”
They went about the photoshoot as if there was no tension. All of them laughed and posed professionally. Half the day was gone when it’s almost time for their lunch break. San was positioned next to Wooyoung in a group photo when he noticed a slightly red bandage wrapped around Wooyoung’s thigh, barely hidden under his ripped jeans.
San waited until their lunch break to ask a fellow staff of they had any first aid kit.
“Are you hurt, San-ssi?”
“No, no. I just need something from it.”
Thankfully the studio has one and the staff gave it to him. San looked for Wooyoung who was sitting with the others at the couch, waiting for their food. Without a word, he walked towards him and grabbed him by the hand. Wooyoung followed obediently despite being confused and the others just let it happen as San wasn’t being rough or aggressive.
They reached one of the empty dressing rooms and San closed the door before telling Wooyoung to sit on the bench. There was barely space for the both of them so San simply kneeled in front of him.
“Take off your pants.”
Wooyoung would have said something witty as a reply but he wasn’t in the mood and so was San. But he was still confused until he saw San opening the first aid kit.
Seeing that Wooyoung had not taken off his pants, nor sat down on the bench, San reached out for the button and zip himself.
“W-what are you doing?”
“You’re bleeding through your bandage. I’m just going to change it.”
He let San pull down his pants when he belatedly realised San was going to see what was under the bandage.
“Wait, San-ah it’s okay I can do it myself. No, really I can–”
In the midst of pushing San’s hand away and trying to pull his pants back up, he got around to sit on the bench. He just unknowingly made it easier for San to take off his bandage, which was the last thing he needed right then.
“San-ah I can do it myself. Just–”
“It’s fine, I’ll do it. Your previous bandage wasn’t even proper, that's why you’re bleeding through it,” San said calmly.
“No I can– Just stop!” Wooyoung gave him a strong push and San fell back on his butt. He saw the offended yet confused look on San’s face. But all of that vanished when his eyes looked down on Wooyoung’s now-opened wound.
Wooyoung quickly covered it with the old bandage but it was too late. San saw what he had done to his thigh.
Right below their shared tattoo, their amicus ad aras, was San’s name. San’s name carved drunkenly on his thigh with a pen knife. It wasn’t a scar yet as it was just done the night before. But there it was. Deep and bloodied.
San bit his lower lip and let out slow shallow breaths. Quietly, he removed Wooyoung’s hand from the wound and replaced the bandage like he had planned. He cleaned the wound of his name gently and covered it with a big band aid before wrapping Wooyoung’s thigh with a clean bandage.
Wooyoung was about to thank him when San moved forward and hugged him, resting his forehead on his abdomen.
“Don’t make me marry her, Young-ah. Please.”
It didn’t take long for both of them to start crying in the small dressing room. Wooyoung caressed San’s hair, hugging his head close.
“I don’t.. I don’t want you to be a bad son.”
San looked up with tearful eyes. “Why would I be a bad son?”
“Your dad wants you to get married, San-ah. He wants you to marry her so bad. He loves you.”
“He loves you too. I can just tell him–”
“You don’t know that. He loves me as a son. He might not accept us being together. You’re his only son. If you call off the wedding, it will look bad on you. They would hate you and–”
“Do you think it would make a difference if I marry her? Wooyoung-ah, I don’t even love her. Do you think the marriage would even last?”
Wooyoung doesn’t know what to say anymore. Of course he doesn’t want San to marry someone else. But his dad was so hopeful and the girl could be nice. San would have a nice family.
“Just tell me to call off the wedding right now and I will. I will tell her myself. I will cancel everything and pay whatever cancellation fees. I will tell my dad myself. You don’t have to explain anything to him. I will let him know about us. Even if he disown me–”
“See that’s what I don’t want! Sanie, your dad loves you. I don’t want to break up a family just because I want to be together with you.”
“Exactly. You said it. He loves me. If he loves me, he would accept you because you’re important in my life. You're my heart, Wooyoung. Don’t make me marry her, please.”
Wooyoung was quiet for a while before he said softly, “What if he doesn't accept us?”
“I’ll make him. Even if it will take years, I will get him to accept who you are in my life.”
Their moment together was cut short when Yunho knocked on the door softly, telling them that their food was here. It had probably reached a long time ago but the team had left them alone long enough. They still had the second half of the photoshoot to do before the day ends.
Before they parted, San stood up and kissed Wooyoung on the forehead. “Don’t hurt yourself again, please.”
Wooyoung came over that night. He knocked on San’s door before opening it slowly. San turned to the door apathetically, thinking it’s either Mingi or Seonghwa. But got up so fast when he saw that it’s Wooyoung.
He didn’t dare approach him and waited for Wooyoung to close the door and walk closer himself. Like a scared kitten, Wooyoung walked to him cautiously and went for a hug.
“I’m sorry.”
San didn’t know what to make out of it. It was too early to jump for joy.
“I don’t want you to marry her,” he said softly.
San felt as if the weight of everything was lifted from his shoulders. Sure, he still has a lot more pressing things to do, like cancelling a wedding and coming out to his father. But Wooyoung is here. Wooyoung is here with him again. Everything will be okay.
Coming out to his father right after telling him that the wedding is off, wasn’t easy. San wanted to do it himself but Wooyoung insisted on following. He reasoned that if his dad loves him enough, maybe his anger towards San would be lesser.
“Do you know what you just did Choi San? Is this how I raised my son??” was his father’s first lines just as he stepped into the house. His mother tried to calm him a little by holding his arm but nothing can stop him if he wants to teach San a lesson.
“Appa, I’m really sorry for everything that has happened. But I can’t marry someone I don’t love. It’s not fair to anyone. Not to me, to you, or even to Naeun. I’m sorry for thinking of this so late. I shouldn’t have accepted it in the first place.”
Wooyoung stood quietly beside him. He could tell San’s dad was holding back a little because he was there as he kept glancing over at Wooyoung.
“Is that all?”
San lifted his head questioningly.
“You called off the wedding because you don’t love her? Are you going to wait for years until, by some miracle, a person you love enough to marry drops in front of you? You’re almost 30 and you still have not brought any girl home. Are you planning to not marry at all??”
He was slightly shaken by his father’s tone but he kept it together and reached for Wooyoung’s hand. “Appa, Wooyoung is my boyfriend.”
His father was silent. He heard his mother gasp. Both of them silently looked at San and Wooyoung back and forth.
Wooyoung couldn’t take the tension and avert his eyes to the floor.
And then they heard his father take a deep breath and let it out slowly. And then a soft laugh.
“If only you would have told us sooner.. But then again, I guess we were pretty much blind too, huh?” he told his wife.
“No, don’t say that,” Wooyoung said softly, putting his hands forward. “Sanie wanted to tell you but I…”
San’s father gave him a small smile. “It’s okay, Wooyoungie. It’s not easy to tell this kind of thing.” He moved forward and gave Wooyoung a hug before giving San one as well.
“So all along we already have a son-in-law,” his mother teased.