Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Today is going to be different,” Aizawa stated as he strode across the room to behind the podium. “Pull out your phones, Hellspawn.” The tone Aizawa used left no room for argument, so while there were a few confused glances passed around, ultimately, all twenty of Class 1A pulled their phones out of their pockets. After seeing all of their phones pulled out, Aizawa looked at the camera in the corner of the classroom. Said camera’s red light flashed green for a split second, before all the phones pinged at the same time. There were confused mumbles and uneasy hums at first, but at the insistence of their teacher, 1A clicked on the message that appeared at the top of their screens.

You have been added to ‘Undercover Assignment’ by Rat Overlord!

Rat Overlord: Hello, Class 1A! Am I a mouse, bear, or dog? One thing’s for certain, I’m Principal Nedzu!

Rat Overlord: You have all been added to this group chat for an assignment we do with all the first year Hero students. I will explain the rules below.

Rat Overlord :

1. The goal is to not let any of your classmates figure out who you are
2. At the end of each day you must text an answer to any question I post in the chat
3. Every week there will be an anonymous vote on who you think is who
4. 5 correct votes must be made before the student will be revealed
5. Multiple students can be revealed at once
6. Get found out first and you get a failing grade
7. You will be scored based on what tactics you use and how long you last
8. No hacking students’ phones
9. You may use any method you please to gather information
10. Don’t get caught before the assignment ends; you have three weeks

Rat Overlord: You may have noticed that I have set the chat names already. I am the only one who can change names. The only time a name will be changed is when a student gets found out. Have fun surviving!

“Well, you heard the Rat; this is an undercover assignment. You’ll need the skills you learn from this in the future if you ever have to do an undercover mission. Do your best.” With that final statement, Aizawa pulled out his yellow sleeping bag and slumped on the floor. Leaving Class 1A to their own devices- literally.

Izuku stared unblinkingly at his All Might themed phone, contemplating the new assignment. Mina shifted in her seat, his eyes flicked over to her. Eyeing her as she maneuvered her phone under her desk, barely audible tapping in its place. Locking eyes with Jiro and Shoji, he knew they picked up on it too. Getting a slight nod from them both, Izuku shifted his gaze back to his phone just as a message popped up.

Gerbil: hi guys! this is so super nerve-racking amiright?

Gerbil, really Nedzu? Well, this is definitely Mina’s texting style; she texts like this in the 1A group chat too, Izuku thought as he pulled out his Hero Analysis for the Present #15 notebook. He put his phone back in his pocket using a sleight-of-hand trick to confuse the few of his classmates staring at him; he could feel their gazes prickling on the back of his neck. Particularly Kacchan’s. His childhood friend’s glares always felt like he was trying to burn him with his eyes only.

He let out a falsely content sigh as he added a new entry to his notebook. Under the title of ‘Mist- Underground Hero,’ he wrote Mina’s suspected chat name beside her name. Better be safe than sorry, Izuku thought, now none of my friends will bat an eye at me writing a supposed ‘new entry’ in my notebook. Just to air on the side of caution, he started mumbling about the Underground Hero while discreetly flipping to the next page over to actually write about her.

The gazes on him lifted, and he had to fight the urge to let out a sigh of relief. Following his example, the rest of Class 1A slowly relaxed enough for the usual mindless chatter to consume the room until homeroom ended.

As soon as the bell for 1st period rang, Present Mic sauntered in, leaving the door open for Aizawa to shuffle through.

Aizawa sent a passing glare to 1A on his way out. “Behave, Hellions,” was all that was said before his yellow-cocoon-encased-body disappeared from view.

Mic shut the door behind Aizawa, a peppy smile on his face. The English teacher started yammering on as he made his way to the podium; all nonsense about his day and asking Izuku’s classmates about their new assignment. After Mic deemed he got enough answers, he moved on with the lesson. “We’re going to keep working on the parts of speech, since most of ya are struggling with it, ya dig?” Mic wrote the lesson plan on the chalkboard behind the podium. The students who were struggling groaned. Iida, taking offense to it, started chopping the air while scolding them about respecting the teachers, prompting half-hearted ‘“Sorry, Mic-sensei”’s.

Izuku tuned the rest of class out, preferring to ponder over how he’ll gather information on his classmates for the assignment than listen to a review of something he already knows. Being fluent in English is great and all, but it leaves him bored out of his mind in Mic-sensei’s class. He’s too nervous to bring it up with the teacher anyway, his stupid anxiety’s fault. Plus, he still lives by the Quirkless Code, even though he now has a quirk. Mic-sensei will never believe he’s fluent when he purposely dumbs down his work. Izuku huffed lightly as he made himself look like he was paying attention, fake note-taking and all.

----

Izuku was reading on the giant couch in the dorms, face practically kissing the novel. There was loud chattering and furious shouts that could only come from Kacchan drifting from the open kitchen three meters away from him. Izuku gave up on reading his book, keeping his place with an All-Might bookmark. He let the book flop on the coffee table that had been broken too many times to count, much to Aizawa-sensei’s ire. The greenette flopped back onto one of the decorative pillows Momo insisted on having, content to just listen to the arguing in the kitchen; it never failed to make him smile as he filed away any of the blackmail that popped out of his classmates’ mouths for future ‘business transactions.’

Ashido hopped onto one of the stools and draped herself over Bakugo’s shoulders. The ash blonde shook her off with an angry yell. Ashido giggled as she landed, going back in to annoy Bakugo more. Kaminari took the chance to steal a small piece of chicken katsu from the small mountain of it on the plate, muffled laughter poured out of him as he stuffed the piece in his mouth, Bakugo swatted at him with the wooden spoon he’d been using to stir the curry, and a fleck of the brown deliciousness landed on Kirishima’s face. The redhead swiped it up with his finger and popped it in his mouth, happily babbling to Bakugo about how good the curry tastes. Bakugo soaked up the praise like a sponge, pitifully hiding a small smile, which Jirou immediately picked up on and started teasing him about. Bakugo’s left hand started sparking in anger. Sero laughed as he moved away from the dangerous appendage to behind Kirishima, the teen proudly proclaiming that he’s the best shield.

Bakugo growled, “Whatever, Tapeface, we already know that. Go serve yourselves, Losers, dinner is ready.”

Kirishima looked ready to cry out of happiness at the rare compliment from the angry blonde, but didn’t have the chance to as his friends dragged him to the stove.

Bakugo crossed over to the mouth of the kitchen where the Meal Bell hung, looking at Jirou and mouthing, “Cover your ears.”

Once making sure that she had her ears covered, Bakugo rang the Meal Bell, signaling everyone that dinner was ready. Cheering came from upstairs as the rest of Class 1A either flew down the stairs like maniacs or were more civilized and took the elevator.

Uraraka skidded to a stop in front of the kitchen before scrambling behind Kaminari to grab her serving of chicken katsu over curry and rice. Hagakure, Asui, Todoroki soon followed after, as did the other students. Izuku pulled himself off the comfort of the couch to eat with his friends. Happy to listen to them chat about aimless things while he listened and occasionally said a thing or two, more focused on chewing than talking. Kacchan’s cooking is delicious and he wants to savor every bite of it.

…

The remnants of dinner have been cleaned up and everyone is off doing their own thing when a message pops up on everyone’s phone.

Rat Overlord: What is your favorite color?

Collectively, those not in their dorm rooms decided to head upstairs, protectively cradling their phones to their chests.

Izuku took the elevator to his dorm, arriving on his floor and booking it to his room, eager to record everyones’ responses as soon as they were sent. He situated himself at his desk with his notebook and opened it to the page with Mina’s suspected chat name on it. As soon as he had his pencil armed and ready to write, answers to Nedzu’s question started flooding in.

Peacock: [sparkle emoji] Silver! [sparkle emoji]

Yeah, Peacock is definitely Aoyama. A showy animal is the only fit for a showy person. Aoyama is also the only person in the 1A group chat who adds sparkle emojis with every text, Izuku thought as he scribbled Peacock’s answer and suspected classmate’s name next to it.

Seahorse: Dull turquoise.

No clue who that is. Izuku wrote down Seahorse’s answer under Peacock’s.

Crocodile: I don’t have a favorite, k

That last word looks cut off. Like they tried deleting something they wrote but missed a letter before they hit send. Tsu always ends her text messages with a ‘kero’, maybe because of her habit of doing that, she wrote ‘kero’ and then realized that it would give her away. So she tried to delete it and accidentally hit send before fully deleting the word, Izuku theorized as he wrote both Crocodile’s answer and Tsu’s name.

Gerbil: teal!

German Shepherd: Blue.

Monkey: Gray

Bird: pale blue like the sky :3

Bat: Dark purple

Mouse: neon yellwo!1!

Sugar Glider: pink! [pink heart emoji]

Horse: Don’t have one [finger peace sign emoji]

Butterfly: pink and purple! <33

Scorpion: Yellow-orange

Bear: Red!!!

Tasmanian Devil: …Orange

Black Mamba: Black.

Fox: green

Gorilla: Yellow orchid.

White Tiger: Black

Izuku wrote down all of their answers, adding little notes about his theories next to some of the names.

Nedzu-sensei never explicitly said that I had to actually write the name of my favorite color, he only said that all of us have to answer. I can write my answer any way I want!

With a shit-eating grin on his face he texted the assignment group chat his answer.

Dragon: #b50d0d

Time to let the chaos ensue!

Gerbil: @Dragon wait what does that mean??

Gerbil: tell us!!

Tasmanian Devil: The fuck does that mean?

Sleepy Cat-Sensei: @Tasmanian Devil language, I’m the only one allowed to curse here

Sugar Glider: *surprised pikachu face* aizawa sensei is here too! Lmaoo

Black Mamba: I see that we have another fellow cryptid here.

White Tiger: Hello my brethren

Dragon is offline

Butterfly: nOOO don’t leave usss

Mouse: pls tell us wat dat means [pleading emoji]

Izuku grinned at his phone, reveling in the chaos he created. Nedzu wants undercover, he’s going to get undercover.

Chapter Text

Izuku’s alarm for 6:30 rang out in his All Might-inspired dorm room. The greenette groaned as he buried his fluffy head of curls into his pillow to escape the noise; spoiler: it didn’t make it stop. Izuku’s head rose from the comfort of his pillow to hatefully glare at his phone, a scarred hand coming up to jab the stop button with malicious intent. He let out a sigh as he rolled out of bed and onto his feet in a motion so well-practiced that it looked easy to replicate.

Izuku went through the motions of his morning routine like a well-oiled machine, only stopping to put his phone in the back pocket of his track shorts so nobody would get any ideas to steal it. It’s happened before in middle school; he’s not taking any chances this time.

Izuku hopped down two flights of stairs one at a time with his quirk active like he did every morning, grabbing a water bottle on his way out the door for his morning run.

With the wind whipping through his hair and his shoes thudding on the uneven terrain, he felt at peace. Running always had that calming effect on him, unless he was running from bullies; that had the opposite effect. 

All too soon, his fifteen minute run ended with him back in front of Height’s Alliance, a light sheen of sweat on his forehead and a few green curls plastered to said forehead was the only evidence that he went on a run.

Silently typing in the code to unlock the door, he entered as quietly as possible because only two or three of his classmates were ever awake at this time. Izuku tiptoed up the stairs to his room, crossing the threshold and bringing out his yoga mat to begin his cooldown yoga routine before his shower.

…

Izuku blow-dried his fluffy curls with one hand and used his other hand and teeth to tie his tie into its normal messy state. Not even Iida could help him, last time he tried, the class president gave up after an hour. He had to face the facts: Izuku’s hopeless at tying his tie properly. It makes sense, after all, he never had a dad to teach him.

Screw you, Dad , Izuku thought.

He turned off the blow-dryer and unplugged it. Izuku mussed up his now dry untamable curls, pleased with how they look, he left the bathroom.

Izuku grabbed his ratty yellow backpack on the way out of his room, slinging it over his shoulder as he made his way to the elevator.

…

Izuku stepped out of the elevator and made a beeline to the fridge where he kept his pre-made protein shakes. Snatching one out and unscrewing the cap, he took a long swig of the strawberry-banana drink.

Mina, who was eating cereal with Kaminari, perked up when she saw him, “Mido! You're pretty smart; do you have any idea who Dragon is?”

Izuku shook his head, feigning innocence, “Sorry, Mina, I know just as much as you do. Although, I can give you a hint about who I am: I’m a four-legged land animal!”

Technically, I’m not lying to her… Dragons can be land animals when they aren’t in the sky, but she’ll never think about that.

Mina’s eyes twinkled. “Thank you so much, Mido! I can always trust you, you’re too much of a cinnamon roll to lie!” she gushed.

“No, I’m a SINnamon roll.” Is what he wanted to say but didn't. Instead he settled on:

“You’re welcome, Mina, good luck on the assignment!” Izuku smiled.

“You too!” Mina replied.

He shot her one last smile before exiting the kitchen. The beanbags are certainly more comfortable than the hardwood benches in the kitchen. Izuku had to snag the fluffy gray one for himself before Uraraka took it. He settled into the cozy beanbag, still sipping his protein shake.

Izuku spotted Jirou on the couch across from him, she was no doubt listening in on his earlier conversation with Mina. He muffled his light snickers with his drink.

She’s probably so confused right now, not being able to tell if I’m lying by my heartbeat must shock her. Sucks to suck, Jirou, lying is as easy as breathing for me, I’ve had 11 years to practice my technique! Izuku mentally giggled.

----

Only an hour and a half before I can go back to the dorms , Izuku thought as Midnight walked into the classroom for Art History.

It’s not that he doesn’t enjoy Art History, he’s just having a boring day and isn’t really in the mood to sit and listen to a lecture on costume symbolism at the moment. Fortunately for him, forty-five minutes into the lecture, Nejire barged into the classroom.

“Midnight-sensei, Yaya-chan startled a business student and then the business student’s quirk went off and hit her, Aizawa-sensei already got the business student’s quirk under control, but Yaya-chan is panicking because it’s an emotion amplification quirk, she’s super duper scared, you have to come and put her to sleep!” Nejire spouted out with a single breath.

Midnight stopped the lecture, called out to Iida to say he’s now in charge, and followed after Nejire.

Iida sat frozen for a minute, busy contemplating what he has to do while the class devolved into chaos. He cleared his throat, “Class 1A! May I have your attention please?”

Everyone stopped what they were doing to listen.

“Since Midnight-sensei isn’t here, I propose we study for our upcoming Literature test,” Iida chopped the air, "Those who need help studying, please find either Yaoyorozu or myself.”

The chattering resumed, though more controlled, as everybody split off into groups.

Izuku got chucked from his daydreamy state by Uraraka who pulled him over to Todoroki’s desk to study with the rest of the ‘Dekusquad’ (as Mina insisted on calling their little group.) He couldn’t help but notice the ‘Bakusquad’ (Mina’s doing, again) having a little drawing competition.

“Sero, man, that’s a cool scorpion! I’ve only ever seen you draw spiders before, why the change?” Kaminari babbled.

“Eh, I dunno, just had them stuck in my head lately,” Sero resumed drawing his scorpion.

“Cool, cool.” Kaminari went to go bother Kirishima.

Scorpion, huh, just like Scorpion in the group chat. Sero uses his tape like a spider, if I was Nedzu I wouldn’t want to go with something so obvious as Sero’s chat name, I’d probably pick another arachnid to keep the slight connection to spiders and Sero. Well, Scorpion, you have now been caught in the maw of the dragon. Time to write this down-

“-Deku, are you listening?” Uraraka waved her hand in front of his face.

“Huh? Oh, yeah, sorry,” Izuku gave her a sheepish smile, “What were you saying?”

“Oh, I asked you who the writer Dazai Osamu is, it’s one of the questions on the study guide Cementoss-sensei gave us.”

“Thank you, um, if I remember correctly, Tsushima Shuji, pen name: Dazai Osamu, one of Japan’s literary giants in the 1900s, his most famous works are The Setting Sun and No Longer Human ,” Izuku recited.

“Midoriya, you’re really good at this,” Todoroki said with no apparent emotion on his face.

“Thank you, Todoroki, but I-I’m really not that good!” Izuku flushed at the unexpected praise.

----

Izuku was leaning against the back of his rolling desk chair, trying to figure out one of the questions on his math homework. His phone gave a little ‘ping’, signifying that he has a new message. Izuku picked up his phone and readied to write all his classmates' answers in his notebook.

Rat Overlord : What is one word you would describe your quirk with?

Nedzu, you are one mischievous motherfucker , Izuku thought.

Fox : quirky

Izuku burst out into startled laughter at the hilarious answer his classmate gave.

German Shepherd : Useful.

Peacock : [sparkle emoji] Sparkly! [sparkle emoji]

Monkey : Bitch-slappy

Sleepy Cat-Sensei : @Monkey  not that that isn’t funny, but no cursing in the group chat

Monkey : Aye-aye sensei!

Gerbil : oh man this is hard um… drugs

Sleepy Cat-Sensei : @Gerbil  okay, wtf is wrong with you? why is this your answer?

Gerbil : uh my quirk can be classified as a drug

Sleepy Cat-Sensei : goddammit

Bat : Loud

Seahorse : Hentai.

Sleepy Cat-Sensei : @Seahorse  why.

Seahorse : Everything else I could have picked was too obvious. Sorry not sorry.

Bear : Sturdy!

Tasmanian Devil : The best.

Mouse : @Tasmanian Devil  dats 2 wrds also my wrd is shocking

Tasmanian Devil : Shut up. I know who you are.

Mouse : no you dont

Tasmanian Devil : Yes, I do. [devil emoji]

Butterfly : an i oop- i smell some tea care to share @Tasmanian Devil

Tasmanian Devil : No.

Butterfly : dayum i can practically hear the red heart after that- um my word is colorful

Horse : Rush

Crocodile : Yummy

Sleepy Cat-Sensei : at this point, I’m not even going to question your answers anymore

Sugar Glider : infinity!! [infinity symbol]

Bird : merp >:3

Gorilla : Molecular.

Black Mamba : Annoying.

White Tiger : I classify my quirk as purple

Scorpion: Bondage

Well, my classmates are certainly making this harder on me. Taking a page out of my book and all; good, they’re learning. Aizawa-sensei will be happy about that. All the more fun to figure them out then! Time to confuse them more!

Dragon : Ninth.

Gerbil : you know what I’m gonna give up on figuring you out for a little while

Mouse : me 2

Dragon is offline

I get Eri tomorrow, maybe I can get her in on one of my plans…

Chapter Text

Izuku’s incredibly giddy as he opens the front door to Heights’ Alliance to see Eri and Mic-sensei. The former who lights up with the sweetest smile as she lays her eyes on her hero.

“Deku-sama, I missed you!” Eri jumped at him with open arms.

Izuku caught her with scarred arms and spun the happy child around in a hug, a smile almost splitting his face in half. “I missed you too, Eri!” he exclaimed as he set Eri back down, “How about you go sit in the kitchen, I’ll be right with you, okay?”

“‘Kay!” Eri ran into the kitchen, leaving Izuku alone with Mic-sensei.

“Thank you for bringing her here, Sensei,” Izuku smiled.

“No problemo, kiddo! Have fun!” Mic waved him goodbye and started off towards the teacher’s dorms.

Izuku closed the door and made his way to the kitchen where Eri was waiting. “Have you had breakfast yet, Eri?” he asked.

Eri shook her head no, making white curls fly around her.

“Okay, what do you think about pancakes?”

“Pancakes!” Eri shouted.

Izuku laughed, “I’ll take that as a ‘yes’ then.”

Eri practically vibrated with excitement, not unlike how he used to when he was younger.

“Before I get started on the pancakes, I have to tell you something very important, do you promise not to tell?”

Eri nodded, “Uh huh, pinky promise,” she held out her pinky finger. Izuku sealed the pinky promise.

“Alright, I’m holding this to you. I have a special assignment right now and I need you to gather me some information only you can get, do you understand?” he looked into her ruby-red eyes, pleased with the determination he found there.

“I understand, Deku-sama, what do you need me to do?” Eri puffed up her cheeks to look as determined as possible.

“I need you to go to Uraraka’s room and ask to play on her phone, once she gives you her phone, you need to open the messages app, you know what that looks like, yes?” Seeing her nod yes, he continued, “When you open the app, I need you to find the group chat called ‘Undercover Assignment’ and click on it, once you do, look at the blue text messages and commit the name above the message to memory. After that, you can play on her phone normally so she doesn’t get suspicious. Can you do that for me?”

“Yes, Deku-sama!” Eri bounced in place.

“Good,” he smiled, “Go on over to her room now, I’ll call you when the pancakes are ready.”

Eri smiled in return and turned in the direction of Uraraka’s room.

…

Eri knocked on the door to Uraraka’s dorm, waiting for the pink-cheeked girl to open it. She heard the click of the lock first before the door opened, revealing Uraraka with a hairbrush stuck in her hair.

Uraraka’s face brightened up as she saw Eri, “Hi, Eri-chan! Do you need something?”

Eri shyly smiled as she walked into the room, “Yeah, Deku-sama is making pancakes and he said to go play with you while I wait, but you look busy right now, so can I just play on your phone while you finish getting ready?”

Uraraka smiled back, “Of course, Eri-chan! My phone is on my bed, feel free to play anything on it while I finish brushing my hair. I’ll be in the bathroom if you need me.” 

The bathroom door shut behind Uraraka. Eri ran over to the bed and grabbed Uraraka’s phone, inputting the password in from memory after numerous amounts of time playing on Deku-sama’s friends’ phones.

She opened the message app and found the group chat Deku-sama was talking about. 

The name above the blue messages is Sugar Glider. I have to tell Deku-sama that , Eri thought.

She smiled to herself at the job well-done, congratulating herself by watching funny cat videos on HeroTube.

“Eri, pancakes are ready!” she heard Deku-sama yell nearly twenty minutes later.

“Okay!” Eri responded as she hopped off Uraraka’s bed, leaving the funny cat video unpaused in her haste. She threw open the door and bounded into the kitchen where Deku-sama was already plating a fluffy stack of pancakes for her. Eri scrambled onto one of the benches, just in time for the plate to be set in front of her. She was reaching out for one of the golden-brown delicacies when Deku-sama stopped her hand and put a fork in it.

…

Eri looked up at him in surprise.

“Remember that you need to use your utensils when you eat,” Izuku lightly chastised her.

Eri bobbed her head in acknowledgement, using her fork instead of her hands to eat her pancakes this time.

Izuku smiled at the cuteness of his honorary adopted sister.

Eri chewed and swallowed the bite she took before speaking, “The name above the blue messages in Ura-chan’s phone is Sugar Glider. Did I do a good job, Deku-sama?”

Izuku internally pumped his fist at his correct guess. He gave Eri a beaming smile and a pat on her head, “You did a great job, Eri!”

Eri wriggled in her seat at the praise, her smile showing off the half-chewed bite of pancake she just took.

Izuku laughed at the sight, using his phone to snap a picture for Aizawa-sensei. He knew his teacher would appreciate it.

----

Izuku had Eri seated on his lap by the start of math class. The white-haired child had been switching seats all morning before finally deciding that his lap is the comfiest. Not that he minds, but it was a little hard to focus on looking like he was paying attention when chairs were scraping across the floor every five minutes. Even Mic-sensei looked a little miffed, although he hid it better than Iida did. The class president’s left eye had started twitching midway through class.

Ectoplasm-sensei walked into the room, cutting the light chatter with his prosthetic legs clicking against the floor. He dumped the thick stack of papers he was carrying on Aizawa-sensei’s desk with an audible thump.

Izuku saw Sato wince in sympathy for Mina and Kaminari; everybody knew that a math packet plus a lecture about Geometry would have them braindead by the end of class. Or worse, Kaminari frying the lights again in frustration (Sensei was not pleased). 

That is until the lunch bell rings. Just hearing the sound revives the two instantly, probably faster than if Kacchan threatens to explode them to hell and back.

Izuku makes himself as comfortable in his seat as possible, because he knows it’s going to be a long and boring lesson.

…

The lunch bell was a welcome reprieve from the monotonous tones of math, and even more of a reprieve for Mina and Kaminari. The pink and yellow duo were already out the door before you could say ‘lunch.’

Izuku picked up the half-asleep Eri and handed her off to Aizawa-sensei, who had come back to the classroom for his daily lunchtime nap. He left for lunch with his friends after giving the sleepy child one of the lollipops he keeps in his backpack for her.

…

Izuku was enjoying his bowl of curry and the umeboshi onigiri Tsu gave him, when Monoma showed up. The blonde-haired imbecile once again spouting his idiotic rhetoric about how Class 1B is better than 1A (Izuku’s class begs to differ).

“I bet all of 1A will fail the Undercover Assignment within the first week! You all love the limelight you get so much of, I can hardly believe any of you would stick to the shadows!” Monoma gleefully crowed.

“That’s enough out of you, Monoma!” Kendo stalked up behind her classmate and chopped him on the neck, knocking the idiot out cold. “I’m so sorry about him; he does this everyday to you guys, I can’t imagine how badly you want to punch him for that.”

“It’s okay, Kendo, we’re used to it, it doesn’t bother any of us anymore, well unless you count Kacchan out,” Izuku placated 1B’s distraught class president.

Kendo smiled at him sadly, “That’s the thing though, you shouldn’t have to be used to it. I just can’t believe he’d go as far to say he wants you all to fail a huge assignment in the name of class rivalry.”

“Sometimes, when you aren’t there to knock him out, he says worse. Believe me, it doesn’t affect us in any way, shape, or form.”

“Well, at least that’s good to hear, not the first part though!” she hurried to correct herself, “I’ll bring up this problem with Vlad-sensei. Have a good rest of your lunch!” Kendo walked back to her class, dragging Monoma’s prone body by his collar.

“You too!” Uraraka piped up.

----

They’re all eating dinner when Sero proposes that they play a game he bought. Cards Against Humanity: Family Edition.

Immediately, Iida starts protesting, saying that the game is still too inappropriate and it doesn’t matter that it's a family edition one.

Sero sufficiently cowes Iida by saying that the cards are all in english so they’d be studying while playing a game.

…

Everybody is sitting in the circle, even Kacchan, oh the shock!

Izuku silently giggles to himself at the thought as he picks his seven cards from the pile being passed around.

Kaminari starts them off by picking up one of the black cards and reading it out, “My mom’s fr-friend, Kevin, comes o-over and helps with blank,” he sounded out some of the words.

Everyone handed him their chosen card for him to pick through.

“My mom’s friend, Kevin, comes over and helps with…w-wiping my butt with san-sandpaper.” There were a few snickers heard.

“My mom’s friend, Kevin, comes over and helps with…my big sl-sl-slappy hands.”

A few more giggles this time.

Kaminari went through the little pile he was given one by one until he came to the last one. He looked it over once and then doubled over and became entirely incoherent because of his laughter. Sero stole the two cards away from him to read them himself because Kaminari wasn’t capable of it at the moment.

“My mom’s friend, Kevin, comes over and helps with…the divorce,” Sero devolved into raucous laughter with the rest of the class. Blinking through his tears of mirth, he asked, “Whose card was this?”

Todoroki raised his hand, making everybody choke with more laughter at the irony.

Everybody’s phone dinged with a new message at the same time, completely ruining the mood. Reluctantly, they all got up and promised to finish the game after they responded to Nedzu’s question.

…

Izuku’s in his room, notebook out and pencil ready to go.

Rat Overlord : What is the name of your 2nd favorite hero?

Izuku knows most of his classmates don’t even have to think before answering this question.

Tasmanian Devil : I don’t have a 2nd favorite.

Peacock : [sparkle emoji] Thirteen-sensei! [sparkle emoji]

Horse : Death Arms

Seahorse : Hawks

Butterfly : All Might

Gerbil : midnight sensei

Crocodile : Thirteen sensei

Bear : All Might!

German Shepherd : All Might

Gorilla : Aizawa-sensei.

Scorpion : All Might

Fox : aizawa sensei

Sugar Glider : ryukyu!! [dragon emoji]

Black Mamba : Aizawa-sensei.

Monkey : Edgeshot

Bat : All Might

Mouse : pres mic

Bird : all might :)

White Tiger : Present Mic

Dragon : Eraserhead.

Sleepy Cat-Sensei : i did not know most of you thought of me that way, thank you

Gerbil: you’re our dadzawa!

Butterfly : Yeah!!

Izuku smiled to himself at all the nice comments Aizawa-sensei is getting in the group chat.

He deserves those compliments , Izuku thought.

Chapter Text

Izuku was walking up the girls’ hallway in the dorms when he was pulled into Jirou’s room. 

So much for just wanting a hairband from Yaoyorozu , he internally grouched as he was pushed onto Jirou’s desk chair.

“I want an alliance.”

It was stated so confidently that it startled Izuku.

“An alliance. With me?” he balked.

“Yes,” Jirou nodded, “We both have information, why not share it?”

Izuku pondered over the proposal, sorting out the pros and cons of it. 

There are more pros than cons to this agreement , he mused before making his decision. Izuku looked up at the purple-haired girl, “Fine.”

“Shake on it?” she held out her hand. Izuku shook it with a note of finality.

“What information do you have?” he asked.

“Mina is Gerbil, Aoyama is Peacock, and Kaminari is likely Mouse,” Jirou counted off her fingers.

“Okay, I already knew about Mina and Aoyama, and I have a hunch about Kaminari being Mouse. So no new information for me, but I do have new information for you,” Izuku revealed.

“Well? Out with it,” Jirou probed.

“Uraraka is Sugar Glider, Tsu is Crocodile, and Sero is Scorpion,” he listed.

“How did you get all that information so quickly?” Jirou asked.

“Half of it was logic and the other half is a secret. No, I won’t tell you about the secret, that’s for me to know and you to possibly find out,” Izuku made his way to the door, “Are we done now? I’d like to be on time for class.”

“One more question,” Jirou hesitated.

Izuku motioned for her to continue.

“Why didn’t you lie to Mina and Kaminari about your chat name?”

“We both know they’re going to be caught tomorrow, why not help them just a little bit?”

“You answered my question with a question,” Jirou frowned.

“I did. See you in class, Jirou.” Izuku left her room, leaving the dumbfounded teen behind.

I’d say that was a job well done , Izuku thought as he continued his walk to Yaoyorozu’s dorm room.

----

“Good morning, everybody. I hope you remembered to study for the test today,” Cementoss-sensei greeted the class.

“Good morning to you as well, Cementoss-sensei!” Iida greeted the hero back, his loud voice covering up the very slight grumbles and groans from the ones in class who struggle with Japanese Literature.

“Thank you, Iida, do you mind passing out the tests?” Cementoss-sensei asked.

“Not at all, Sensei! It is my duty as the class rep to assist the teachers in any way I can!” Iida took the stack of tests from Cementoss-sensei’s blocky arms.

Cementoss-sensei gave Iida a grateful smile as he went to sit down at Aizawa-sensei’s desk.

Izuku thanked Iida as the strict teen passed by to give him his test. He immediately got started on it, knowing that Cementoss-sensei’s Literature tests took awhile to complete.

…

Izuku put down his pencil thirteen minutes before Cementoss-sensei’s alarm went off, a new record for finishing added to his mental tally. His new time is definitely better than the nine minutes before the alarm went off like last time. Izuku looked around the near silent classroom, seeing that Yaoyorozu, Iida, and Tokoyami had finished before him. Deining to not disturb anybody, he pulled out his Hero Analysis for the Present #15 notebook to add to Ms. Joke’s page.

----

Izuku is going through a regimen of basic stretches with his classmates in preparation for the sparring that All Might is going to make them do, when Kacchan stomps up to him.

“You’re sparring with me, Deku!” Kacchan grinned.

Just as Izuku was about to accept, All Might spoke up, “Er, No, Young Bakugo, you will be sparring with Young Kirishima here,” he patted the red-head’s shoulder at the mention.

Kirishima hardened his arms and smashed his knuckles together, “Let’s do this, Bakubro!”

Kacchan’s right hand popped, “You’re on, Shitty Hair!”

All Might fumbled, “Wait! Get in the ring before you spar!”

The two were already in the ring exchanging blows by the time All Might spoke.

…

Kirishima ducked under Bakugo’s opening right hook and threw a punch at the ash blonde’s right flank. Bakugo stumbled from the hit but kicked Kirishima’s shoulder in the process. The two began their usual chorus of hard-hitting punches, determined feints, and smoking blocks.

…

Izuku turned away from the spar. It was always the same song and dance with them; unless one of them busts out a new move. Only then is it interesting to watch.

All Might separated the rest of them into pairs. Coincidently, he and Jirou are paired up. They’re not really sparring, but more like making it look believable enough for All Might so they could listen in on their classmates. No words were spoken between them, it was just mutual understanding.

Jirou’s earphone jack tapped Izuku’s shoulder to get his attention. He looked at where the jack was pointing at: Mina and Kaminari’s sparring ring. More importantly, their conversation during the fight.

Mina had spread acid all around the ring by skating around Kaminari, confining him into a small circle with no acid. Kaminari had slightly frizzy hair and the lichtenberg scars on his body were giving off a soft glow, meaning he had already used his quirk a little and was no doubt getting frustrated.

Kaminari’s face lit up, “Hey, Mina! Guess what I just remembered?”

Mina stopped moving, “What? Forget to do your homework again?”

“That too, but that’s not what I meant,” Kaminari groaned.

“Well, what is then? If this is you trying to distract me, it isn’t going to end well for you,” Mina stood with her arms akimbo.

Kaminari’s smile turned downright mischievous, the kind of smile he does before he pranks someone, and it never means anything good. “I just remembered that your acid is flammable and my quirk is lightning.”

Mina’s face fell, “Oh fuck.”

“Mhm,” Kaminari nodded, “Oh fuck yes.”

“Shit-!” Mina ran out of the ring before Kaminari could flambé her.

“Was that shocking ?” Kaminari laughed.

“Stop with the lightning puns, you rip-off Pikachu!” Mina yelled, “That was scary as fuck!”

Shocking. Just like the word Mouse gave to describe their quirk on Tuesday. Why didn’t I see this before? I must have been distracted , Izuku thought. 

“Yep. Kaminari’s definitely Mouse,” Jirou mumbled.

“Mhm,” Izuku nodded in assent.

----

Izuku’s gnawing on a piece of chewelry while he waits for Nedzu to send the next question. His fingers twirling his pencil around expertly.

Finally, the message comes.

Rat Overlord : What is your favorite activity?

I know most of what my classmates like doing, it’ll be interesting to see what they write , Izuku tapped his chin with his pencil.

Crocodile : Swimming

Mouse : skaring peepol

Peacock : [sparkle emoji] Sparkling like the star I am! [sparkle emoji]

Scorpion : Drawing

Gerbil : dancing!

Seahorse : Giving out hugs.

Gorilla : Having tea parties with Eri.

Bird : staring at the sky :3

Monkey : Training

Sugar Glider : going to cafes! [coffee emoji]

Horse : Movie nights

Bear : Mario Kart!

German Shepherd : Reading a book.

Butterfly : i also like scaring people [devil emoji]

Fox : being a disappointment

Sleepy-Cat Sensei : @Fox  i don’t know who you are, but you will be going to therapy after this.

Fox is offline

Bat : Haha deserved

Bat : Listening to my friends talk

Tasmanian Devil : Training.

Black Mamba : Apple picking.

White Tiger : Glitching through the Earth’s crust for hours at a time

Izuku snorted, White Tiger and Fox have a weird sense of humor. I like people-watching, so I’ll just twist my words a little bit… and voila!

Dragon : Spying on people.

Monkey : That’s legitimately scary

That’s the entire point, Izuku thought, a satisfied smile on his face.

Chapter Text

Denki tip-toed down the stairs and crept across the common room. He stood in front of the karaoke machine 1A uses on Saturday nights, a downright devious grin on his face. Denki fiddled around with the speakers and microphone, setting it up for his incorrigible plan. He pulled out an airhorn from his hoodie pocket and put the microphone right up to the nozzle.

Honnnnkkkk!!!

The sound blasted through the dorms, waking everyone up at 5:43 in the morning. Including Bakugo. Bless Denki’s poor soul, he’s going to die a very painful death very soon.

“PIKACHU! YOU LITTLE FUCKER, I’LL KILL YOU!!” Bakugo screamed from upstairs before loud popping was heard coming down the stairs at a rapid pace.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!

Denki scrambled to find a hiding place as the popping got closer. He took the second set of stairs two-at-a-time and ran down the girl’s side of the dorms and into the boy’s side. Denki barged into Shinsou’s room and hid inside the insomniac’s closet, stuffing himself into the corner.

Shinsou groaned as he bundled himself under his blankets, “Why my room?”

“It was the closest room I could go into without being weird and hiding in one of the girl’s rooms,” came a tiny whisper from the closet.

Shinsou grumbled and burrowed himself further into his cat-themed blankets.

Suddenly, loud stomping was heard outside Shinsou’s dorm.

“Hey, Eyebags, have you seen Pikachu?” Bakugo growled.

“Yeah, he’s in my closet,” Shinsou called out to the pomeranian-version-of-Satan behind the door.

Fuck you too, Shinsou. My blood is on your hands now!

The door snapped open and Bakugo stomped in, the smell of burnt caramel getting stronger the closer he got to the closet. The doorknob twisted open slowly.

Denki gulped, He probably wants to make my suffering last longer.

The closet opened and a calloused hand grabbed the back of his hoodie and dragged him out.

Denki screeched.

BOOM!!!

----

The Steampunk Hero: Gear trots in for history class. Chattering on and on what they’d be doing today.

Izuku tunes out most of what she says and only starts listening when Gear declares she’s going to make them do a pop quiz for fun.

Oh, yes! Make history class worse, Gear-sensei! Now I feel justified in thinking that you’re laughing at our pain right now , Izuku mentally scowled.

Gear uses her mild metal manipulation quirk to pass out the quizzes with the nuts, bolts, and screws she keeps hidden in her costume.

A screw hands his quiz to him. Izuku scans over the paper and decides that if Gear-sensei is going to make history class worse for them, then he’s going to make her job slightly harder with the least amount of repercussions to his grade. A failed pop quiz barely counts as anything to his A in the subject.

Question 1. What year did quirks start appearing in?

Izuku’s answer (in English): In 2024 after the Covid-19 virus vaccinations came out.

Question 2. What happened after 2113?

Izuku’s answer: 2114

Question 3. How long did the Quirk Riots last for?

Izuku’s answer (in his very limited Chinese vocabulary): The Quirk Riots lasted for 89 years.

Question 4. How many laws are there about quirks?

Izuku’s answer: 374

Question 5. Why are vigilantes illegal?

Izuku’s answer (in Spanish -he learned from Sero-): Vigilantes are illegal because they sometimes do their jobs better than actual heroes and the HPSC got pissy about it.

Izuku had a very self-satisfied smile on his face that he hid behind a fake sneeze and reddening cheeks of embarrassment. Sneezing in a quiet room always made people giggle silently at him. Thank you to his cute little kitten sneezes that always come in handy for a distraction! It would do his ‘cute little cinnamon roll who can do no wrong facade’ no good if his classmates saw him looking like he was about to enact petty revenge on a teacher.

----

Izuku’s classmates sat around in a circle, same as they did for Cards Against Humanity. Except this time they were playing Ultimate Werewolf.

Everybody is handed a card with their role on it. The only information about the cards they have is that there are six werewolves, one seer, one apprentice seer, one old hag, one tanner, seven villagers, one ghost, and one idiot. Tokoyami is the host because this is his game.

Izuku was handed a villager card by Tokoyami, no special abilities for him this round then.

…

“Everyone go to sleep,” Fumikage said.

They all put their heads down and closed their eyes.

“Werewolves, wake up.”

Mina, Shouji, Yaoyorozu, Kouda, Aoyama, and Todoroki lifted their heads up.

“Acknowledge eachother. Go back to sleep.”

Their heads went down again.

“Seer, wake up.”

Hagakure’s blindfold slipped up.

“Who would you like to investigate?”

Hagakure pointed at Jirou, black gloves making her fingers visible. Fumikage shook his head that no, Jirou is not a werewolf.

“Go back to sleep.”

Hagakure pulled her blindfold down.

“Apprentice seer, wake up.”

Sato’s eyes opened.

“You have no use until the seer is dead. You may wake with the seer, though. For now, go back to sleep.”

Sato’s eyes closed.

“Old hag, wake up.”

Bakugo sneered as his head popped up.

“Who do you want to banish?”

Bakugo pointed at Midoriya.

“Go back to sleep.”

Bakugo’s head went down.

“Tanner, wake up.”

Shinsou’s sleepy purple eyes peered up at Fumikage.

“Go back to sleep. Your only job is to hope that the werewolves kill you.”

Shinso closed his eyes.

“Ghost, wake up.”

Jirou’s head rose.

“You are dead and can only communicate to the rest using a single letter every night. Go back to sleep.”

Jirou let her head fall.

“Idiot, wake up.”

Kaminari begrudgingly lifted his head up.

“Your job is to vote for someone every night. Go back to sleep.”

Kaminari’s head plopped down.

“Everybody wake up,” Fumikage leaned back.

Once everybody’s attention was on him, he stated, “There were no deaths last night, unfortunately Midoriya got banished by the old hag and cannot vote or speak. Does anyone have any accusations?”

Kaminari sighed, “I kinda have to vote, so I’m just gonna pick someone random,” he points at Bakugo. Bakugo snarls at him and points at the yellow-blonde to nullify the vote with a tie.

Fumikage made himself more comfortable where he sat, “The vote is null. Everyone, go to sleep.”

…

They were three nights into the round when it was revealed that Shinsou was killed by the werewolves. The insomniac whooped and boasted that he’d won the game because he was killed. The werewolves' griping was drowned out by the pings of new messages.

…

Izuku helped Tokoyami gather all the cards and then set off to his room, passing by Mina cursing Nedzu out for ruining the second game this week on his way to the elevator.

Honestly, Nedzu deserves that; the game was really interesting and I was enjoying it until he interrupted , Izuku thought as the elevator took him to the second floor.

The metal doors slid open and he stepped out into the hallway. Izuku’s legs guided him straight to his room and onto his desk chair. His phone was already buzzing with his classmates' answers by the time he got his notebook out.

Rat Overlord : What is your favorite animal?

Izuku winced. Ooh, that’s a hard question for me.

Peacock : [sparkle emoji] Peacocks! [sparkle emoji]

Gerbil : dogs!

Horse : Hamsters

Scorpion : I have to pick something so monkeys I guess

Monkey : Lions

Crocodile : I prefer amphibians

Seahorse : If I say my favorite animal, I’ll get caught. May I please not give an answer to this question?

Sleepy Cat-Sensei : fine, whatever, i don’t care

Seahorse : Thank you, sensei.

German Shepherd : I like dogs.

Mouse : i dont hav 1

Sugar Glider : hamsters!! [heart emoji]

Gorilla : Dogs.

Bird : bunnies :3

Bear : Sharks!!!

That’s definitely Kirishima , Izuku scribbled in his notebook.

Butterfly : cats

Bat : Snakes

Fox : cats

Tasmanian Devil : Goats.

Oh, hello Kacchan. I know Nedzu will start asking personal questions in the near future, so I will have to get some blackmail ready for a future conversation with you. I’ll make sure you won’t give me away, Kacchan.

Black Mamba : My favorite animal will also give me away. I shall refrain from answering.

White Tiger : Cats

Dragon : Humans.

Technically, I’m not wrong. Humans are mammals , Izuku thought.

Rat Overlord : I’m fascinated by all of these answers! It is now time to put your brains to good use and vote! Here is the link: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx the results will be posted tomorrow.

I knew it.

Gorilla : It is not Sunday, why are we voting now? Friday is not the end of the week.

Rat Overlord : Good question! Saturday and Sunday are rest days to give your minds a break.  

Gorilla : I see.

I’m going to reveal who I’ve found out so far. Not Kacchan though, I have plans for him. Sorry not sorry!

Dragon : Aoyama is Peacock,

Gerbil is Mina, 

Mouse is Kaminari, 

Crocodile is Tsu, 

Scorpion is Sero, 

Sugar Glider is Uraraka, 

and Bear is Kirishima.

Rat Overlord : How interesting! Choosing to reveal your classmates is a bold choice! 

Gerbil : why are you throwing us under the bus like that?!

Peacock : [sparkle emoji] That is not very sparkly of you! [sparkle emoji]

Dragon : Do you expect villains to play nice and not reveal you during an actual undercover mission?

Sleepy Cat-Sensei : exactly. personally, i think that choosing to reveal your classmates isn’t a half-bad choice. it certainly lowers who you have to choose from but it also ups the risks at being found out yourself.

Dragon : I couldn’t have said it better myself, Aizawa-sensei. :)

Chapter Text

Monday rolled around with the promised radio-silence from Nedzu during the weekend. The voting went exactly as Izuku planned: Mina, Kaminari, Aoyama, Uraraka, Sero, Tsu, and Kirishima all had their chat names changed and can no longer send messages through the ‘Undercover Assignment’ group chat. They can still read the texts, though. Aizawa-sensei wanted them to be able to learn from their mistakes.

Jirou hadn’t spoken with him since Friday night, and he was beginning to get antsy about it. Izuku had even spent most of his morning run thinking about how he’ll speak to her in class today.

The sound of knuckles lightly rapping against his door startled him out of his spiraling. Izuku went to tell whoever it was that he was busy, but as soon as he opened his door, Jirou pushed her way inside with vengeance.

Speak of the devil and they shall come , Izuku nervously thought.

“You're Dragon aren’t you?” Jirou whispered, her arms crossed and body tense.

Izuku’s heart rate spiked. Shit.

Jirou’s eyes narrowed at him.

“Why are you whispering?” he asked in a poor attempt to deflect the question.

“Shouji might be listening. Now stop deflecting the question and answer me,” she hissed.

“No, I’m not Dragon, though I think I know why you think so. It’s obvious Dragon’s smart enough to know who we’ve found out and more. What better choice than me: who has the information and the brain to back it up?” Izuku desperately hoped she’d fall for his lie.

“Nice try. Your heartbeat is all over the place. It was a valiant attempt though, and would have fooled everyone but me,” she huffed.

Izuku deflated, “You going to give me up now? I’d understand if you do.”

Jirou shook her head, “I’m not. I just want to know why you didn’t ask me first before you revealed them.”

Izuku sighed, “I wanted to get them out while I could so I- I mean we-- could focus on everybody else.”

“It was a decent strategy,” Jirou mused, “But why not tell me?”

“You’d find out who I am if I told you. Too late for that now.”

Jirou snorted, “True. How’d you figure out Kirishima?”

Izuku fidgeted with his fingers. “Kirishima really likes sharks because they remind him of his teeth, and when we all had that room competition, I noticed that he had a lot of shark memorabilia on his bed and in his closet.”

“Interesting. That attention to detail is great for hero-work,” Jirou praised him.

Izuku blushed, “N-no, not really, it’s just something I’ve picked up over the years; anybody can do it if they try.”

“Still can’t take compliments, can you?” she fondly shook her head.

Izuku melted even further into his pile of embarrassment in response.

“I know who you are, but you don’t know who I am. It wouldn’t be fair if I kept it to myself since we have an alliance.”

“You don’t have to tell me!” Izuku said.

“I want to. My chat name is Bat.”

“Oh my god, that makes so much sense! The echolocation as a nod to your quirk is awesome; Nedzu did a good job picking out the chat names--” Izuku babbled.

“Mhm,” she cut off his rant, “Promise me that you won’t do something without consulting me first again?”

Izuku nodded and let his guilt be known, “Yeah, I promise.”

Jirou smiled, “Good. If you did it again, I really would have to reveal you.”

“Ah- on that note then, I do have a plan for Kacchan because I gave him a huge hint about who I was, so I suspect that he knows it’s me but hasn’t said anything, I know who he is but I didn’t reveal him because he would have revealed me in turn,” Izuku explained.

“What’s your plan for him?” 

“I’m going to blackmail him into silence and let him stay unrevealed the entire time with him knowing I can reveal who he is at any moment. Kacchan is super competitive, so not letting him lose and instead giving him an unsatisfactory win will really put a dent in his pride,” Izuku continued.

“Oh yeah, that’ll definitely hurt. I like it!” Jirou grinned.

“Yay! So glad you approve ‘cause I was planning on doing it with or without you knowing!”

…

Yeah, he really deserved that slap upside the head.

“I’ve always known you were a petty and sarcastic little shit, but hearing it not from your mumbles is entirely different,” Jirou bemoaned.

Izuku froze. “Y-you can understand my mumbles?”

She nodded. “If it makes you feel any better, Shouji can’t. His hearing isn’t as precise as mine.”

“Oh, sure, totally. Definitely makes me feel better,” Izuku dropped the reins on his sarcasm.

Jirou snickered at his quip and gave him a pat on the back, “Come on, we have to get to class.”

“You can’t just drop a bombshell on me and then expect me to focus in class!” Izuku complained.

Jirou was already out the door. “You don’t focus in class anyways.”

“Touche. Wait- you know about that?!” Izuku paled.

----

Thirteen-sensei skipped into the classroom for science with 1A and stopped in front of the chalkboard.

Izuku sighed, They always skip inside when it’s a review day. Review days mean less work to grade since it’s mostly lectures and maybe a worksheet or two. Even Aizawa-sensei looks less grumpy when we are reviewing stuff. Guess I can count on this being a boring lesson.

“Good afternoon, Class 1A! Today, we are reviewing Cell Theory! How many of you remember this topic from your second year of junior high?”

Embarrassingly enough, only Todoroki, Iida, Yaoyorozu, Kacchan, Kouda, and Izuku raised their hands.

“Oof! Only six of you? We have a lot to do today then!” Thirteen-sensei exclaimed. They grabbed a piece of chalk and wrote on the board: ‘What is Cell Theory?’

Thirteen-sensei turned around. “Can anyone tell me what Cell Theory is?”

Yaoyorozu raised her hand.

Thirteen-sensei pointed at her. “Let’s hear it, Yaoyorozu!”

“1. All living things are made up of cells. 2. Cells are the basic units of structure and function in living things. 3. Living cells come only from other living cells,” she recited.

“Correctamundo!” They wrote down what Yaoyorozu said under the question on the board.

Thirteen-sensei began their lecture on Cell Theory while Izuku does his best not to yawn.

----

Izuku was playing a game on his phone when Nedzu’s message popped up on his screen.

Rat Overlord : What would be your villain name?

Immediately, another message followed it. This time from Aizawa-sensei.

Sleepy Cat-Sensei : fuck you, nedzu. we are not doing that damn assignment again. it ended in disaster last time.

What assignment is Aizawa-sensei talking about? I’ll have to ask him tomorrow.

Tasmanian Devil : FUCK YOU! I’D NEVER BE A VILLAIN! [3 middle finger emojis]

Sleepy Cat-Sensei : language. only i’m allowed to cuss here; you know this.

Typical Kacchan.

Seahorse : I am not fond of this idea, but Monstros.

German Shepherd : I too, do not like this. Overtake.

Monkey : Whack-a-Mole [lenny face]

Izuku snorted at Monkey’s response.

Bird : predahunt >:(

That sounds really cool , Izuku thought.

Bat : Heart Attack

Horse : Gonna get caught for this one but whatever [finger peace sign emoji] Mr. Sugar

Okay then, that’s Sato. I’ll text Jirou about that after the rest of the messages come in.

Butterfly : nurikabe! guys i’m plaster wall now [lmao emoji]

That might be Hagakure, but I’m not sure yet. I’ll send Eri after her on Wednesday . Izuku marked a note in his notebook.

Black Mamba : Nightmare.

Fox : inertia

Gorilla : Genesis.

White Tiger : My hero name I guess…

I don’t like the sound of that last one. Therapy for whoever White Tiger is after this. I’m going to give them so many hugs!

Dragon : Apex.

Kay’, time to text Jirou about Sato.

Deku : Sato is Horse.

Earphone Jack : [thumbs up emoji]

Chapter Text

“Kacchan, I need to talk to you. Do you mind staying back for a little bit?” Izuku came up behind the ash-blonde as everyone was leaving the locker room.

“I do mind. Stop bothering me, Shitty Deku,” Kacchan growled.

Izuku stood on his toes to whisper in the teen’s ear, just loud enough to only be heard by Kacchan’s hero-grade hearing aids, “I think you’ll find that this is important, Tasmanian Devil.”

Kacchan stilled and his fists clenched with miniscule poppoppops coming from them.

Good, he’s intimidated now.

Izuku smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Follow me, Kacchan.”

He followed Izuku to the very back of the locker room, where they were hidden from any of Shouji’s prying ears and eyes.

“What do you want?” Kacchan whispered- how shocking!

“I want your silence. You don’t reveal me and maybe I won’t reveal you; it depends on how petty I feel when that moment comes though.”

Kacchan huffed, “Fat chance, asshole. I ain’t taking a deal that jeopardizes my grade.”

I knew he would act like this. “What if I said that I have video evidence of all the shit you put me through in junior high?” Izuku tittered and held up his phone.

Kacchan’s ruby eyes widened. “You don’t. You’re bluffing. That shitty principal said he deleted all of the damning camera footage so I wouldn’t get a black mark on my record!”

“Mhm, so you say,” Izuku hummed, “Did you know that Principal Tanaka only deleted all of the footage at the end of each day? That left me ample time to hack into the cameras during last period to download any instances of bullying caught on camera.” 

Kacchan’s breathing hitched. “No wonder you were always so distracted during Koirute-sensei’s class. I thought you just hated English class.”

Izuku let a wry grin spread across his face, clearly mocking the other teen.

“You said you downloaded the footage on your phone, right? That just means I have to destroy your phone!” Kacchan made a grab for the All Might themed phone in Izuku’s grip.

He whipped his phone away using a sleight-of-hand trick. “Ah, ah, ah, Kacchan. Destroying my phone won’t do anything. All the downloaded camera footage has been put into an encrypted file on a different device that only opens with a 16-digit password!”

That’s a lie. I put all of the evidence in a USB stick that’s inside of an All Might figurine. I have hundreds of them.

Kacchan froze, the implications on if the footage were to be revealed finally hit him. “You can destroy my entire hero career with a few keyboard strokes,” he gasped.

“Bingo,” Izuku smirked, “Going to stay silent now? You know the consequences if you don’t.”

Kacchan mutely nodded, the weight of the threat hanging over his head.

…

Deku’s mood did a complete 180 so fast it almost gave Katsuki whiplash.

“Yay! Let’s go to class now, Kacchan!” the little green fucker clapped his hands and smiled like he didn’t just blackmail him silent.

That’s fucking freaky .

…

Izuku stepped out of the locker room, Kacchan following close behind him. He felt eyes on him and glanced around Ground Delta to find the sources. Todoroki, Shouji, Shinsou, Kouda, and Tokoyami all met his green irises for a split second before flicking away after being caught.

So they noticed my and Kacchan’s brief absence. It doesn’t seem like they care, but I can’t be too sure. Todoroki probably already came up with a new conspiracy theory by now. Eh, whatever, I’ll deal with that can of worms later; gotta find Jirou first.

Izuku gravitated towards Jirou’s side, not close enough to arouse suspicion, but enough to look relatively normal. 

She quirked her brow in a silent question, “Was the plan a success?” her face seemed to say.

Izuku gave her a barely discernible nod as he stretched his triceps in preparation for the training exercise 1A was about to begin.

He loves Ground Delta for the sole reason of enjoying bad weather battles. Izuku had always felt more powerful when there was lightning flashing around him. Probably something to do with One For All. 

I’ll research this hypothesis later , he thought.

----

Izuku was lounging around on the couch in the common room, watching Uraraka, Iida, Todoroki, and Tsu play a riveting round of UNO.

“HA! Draw four Tsu! The color is now blue!” Uraraka crowed.

“No, it’s green. Kero.” Tsu placed another draw four on top of the deck.

“I’m sorry, Todoroki, but the color has been changed to red,” Iida apologized as he set a third draw four on the pile.

Todoroki wrinkled his nose in annoyance, “Bastards: all of you,” he hissed as he drew twelve cards.

Iida gave an affronted gasp, “Todoroki, I must say that is unbefitting language for a UA student!”

Uraraka patted Iida on his shoulder. “Oh lighten up, Iida! It’s a harmless joke!”

Izuku set his focus on the kitchen where he heard Sato say he’s going to make okonomiyaki for dinner tonight.

I must write down his recipe!

He trotted into the kitchen with one of his miscellaneous notebooks clutched in his left hand and a pencil in his right.

“Excuse me, Sato, is it okay if I copy down your recipe?” Izuku asked.

“Of course, Midoriya, feel free to ask for more recipes of mine as well!” Sato smiled.

“Thanks!” Izuku scribbled down the okonomiyaki recipe from Sato’s travel-sized cookbook.

----

Izuku munched on his portion of okonomiyaki that he brought to his room so he could work on his algebra homework. It was way too easy for him; he’d much prefer to be doing calculus instead.

Fortunately for Izuku, Nedzu decided to send a new message to the group chat.

Rat Overlord : What is your favorite subject at UA?

Well, there’s a snowball’s chance in hell that I’ll be able to figure anyone out with this question. Stupid Chimera , Izuku thought as he angrily stuffed another bite in his mouth.

German Shepherd : Heroics 101.

Horse : Home Ec and Heroics 101

Monkey : Heroics 101

Seahorse : Heroics 101.

Butterfly : heroics!

Gorilla : Heroics 101.

Bat : Heroics 101

Bird : heroics 101 :3

Tasmanian Devil : Heroics 101.

Fox : heroics

Black Mamba : Heroics 101.

White Tiger : Heroics 101

I knew it. Every-fucking-one is going to say ‘Heroics 101’ because this is a goddamn HERO SCHOOL!!

Dragon : Heroics 101.

Chapter Text

Izuku opened the front door to his favorite white-haired seven-year-old with a huge grin on his face. “Good morning, Eri! I missed you so much!” he gave the giggling girl a big hug.

“I missed you too, Deku-sama!” Eri exclaimed.

Izuku let go of her and kneeled to face the beaming child. “Will you go sit in the kitchen please? I’m going to teach you how to make onigiri today!”

“Yay!” Eri bounced, “I’m gonna go sit now!” she scampered up the hallway.

Izuku stood back up and thanked Mic-sensei for bringing Eri to the dorms.

“You’re welcome, Little Listener. Don’t forget to do your Speaking #9 homework, ya’ dig?” Mic-sensei flashed finger-guns at him as he trotted away.

“You got it, Sensei!” he waved goodbye to the man and shut the door.

Izuku padded into the kitchen and patted Eri’s head when he passed by her seat. He pulled out the sticky rice he made earlier out of the rice cooker and into a bowl. While doing so, he asked, “What kind of filling do you want the onigiri to have?”

“Hmm,” Eri pondered for a bit while pulling on a pair of gloves. “Tuna!” she eventually declared.

“Tuna it is!” Izuku snatched the canned tuna out of the cupboard to join the rest of the ingredients. Then, he brought all the ingredients to the table where Eri sat.

“First, we put two tablespoons of rice vinegar into the rice.” Izuku guided Eri’s hands to pour the correct amount of rice vinegar. “Mix the rice and vinegar together.” He stuck his gloved hands into the bowl of warm sticky rice and folded it over itself until it was mixed. “Now, we make the tuna filling.”

Eri opened the can of tuna and dumped it into an empty bowl, then Izuku squirted the perfect amount of Kyupi mayonnaise on top of the tuna. Under Izuku’s instruction, Eri splashed ⅛ of a teaspoon of soy sauce into the bowl as well. as well. He handed Eri a fork to mix the tuna filling with, the seven-year-old complying with the unspoken order.

When Eri was done mixing the tuna, Izuku took off his soiled plastic gloves and threw them in the trash can nearest to the table.

“Now that we have the rice and filling made, we can start shaping the onigiri. First, take off your gloves, then you get your hands wet and sprinkle some salt on them too. This will prevent the rice from sticking to you,” he said as he dipped his scarred hands into a bowl of water. Izuku was sprinkling some salt on his left hand when Eri started prepping her hands as well.

“When your hands are prepped, take a generous amount of rice and roll it into a ball. Then, use your thumb to press a hole into the center of it; you are going to fill this hole with a small amount of tuna. After you’ve done that, squish the rice over the hole and shape it into a triangle. Once that's done, take a piece of seaweed paper and put it on the bottom of the onigiri. Boom- you’ve made onigiri!” Izuku instructed.

Together, the two made onigiri for Eri’s second hero and family- Mirio, Aizawa-sensei, Mic-sensei, and Shinsou.

As they were cleaning up, Izuku asked Eri to gather some more information for him.

“Remember what I asked you to do for me last week?” Izuku asked as he dried a bowl. 

“Mhm,” Eri nodded.

“Could you do the same thing again? Only this time you’re going to Hagakure’s room instead of Uraraka’s.”

“Okay, Deku-sama, I’ll be back in a few minutes then!” Eri excused herself to go complete her mission.

…

“Deku-sama, Tooru-chan didn’t open her door…,” Eri pouted.

Izuku sighed, “Oh well, at least you tried. Not all of my plans are bound to work out anyways. On the bright side, everything has been cleaned up and the onigiri look amazing; you did a great job on them!”

Eri smiled at him, telling him that she feels better about her failed mission.

----

When lunch came around, Izuku let Eri give out the onigiri they made earlier. 

Aizawa-sensei tried to hide his smile in his scarf when he was handed his onigiri, Shinsou nearly teared up at the little seaweed paper cat ears and tail his sister insisted on putting on his rice ball, Mirio gave Eri a big hug and spun her around, and finally they stopped at Mic-sensei’s homeroom class: 1C to give him his onigiri.

“Mic-sensei, may we please come in?” Izuku knocked on the classroom door.

“Go ahead, Little Listeners!” Mic-sensei called out.

Izuku pushed open the door, revealing Mic-sensei with a half eaten bento on his desk.

“Hi, Papa! Deku-sama and I made onigiri for you!” Eri ran up to Mic-sensei, a container with two onigiri left in her hands.

“OMG!” he squealed, “These look amazing! I have to take some pictures and send them to everybody!” Mic-sensei snapped a few pictures and sent them to the teachers’ group chat.

The Only Employees I Actually Care About

Loud Cockatoo : [two images]

Loud Cockatoo : Look at what Eri and Midoriya made for me!!

Night-Night Gas : AWWW! So freaking cute!!

Night-Night Gas has saved two images

Diggy Dig : damn, now I want onigiri

One-Shot Man : Me too

Bram Stoker : The onigiri look delicious [thumbs up emoji]

Fourth-Wall Rebuilder : Yum.

Houston : adorable! can’t wait to see eri after lunch!

CATerpillar : she made me some onigiri too. they were delicious.

Nurse Next Door : Tell Eri that I’ll give her a lollipop if she makes me food too, Yamada.

Loud Cockatoo : You got it!

Night-Night Gas : Is that [sparkle emoji] bribery [sparkle emoji] I hear? ;))

Nurse Next Door : Yes.

Who You Gonna Call? Ghostbusters! : [lmao emoji]

Remy : extra onigiri are up for grabs in the cafeteria kitchen

Diggy Dig : omw

One-Shot Man : Race you Maijima

Diggy Dig : you’re on

Supreme Ruler : Does Midoriya have anymore onigiri? I’d quite like one myself.

Loud Cockatoo : I’ll ask him- give me a sec.

Mic-sensei looked up from his phone. “Sorry about that, I was a bit distracted. Oh, Midoriya, Nedzu wanted to know if you had any more onigiri. Also, my sweet little Eri, Recovery Girl says that she will give you candy if you make her food! How nice of her!”

Izuku hid a snort at the blatant bribery from Recovery Girl as he rummaged around in his backpack for the extra onigiri he packed on a gut feeling.

“Yep, I’ve got one extra right here.” Izuku held up the plastic-wrapped rice ball.

“Great! I’ll bring it to Nedzu. Both of you should hurry on back to class now; lunch is almost over,” Mic-sensei chattered as he ushered them out of the room.

“Thanks, Sensei! Enjoy the onigiri!” Izuku exclaimed, already walking up the hallway.

“I will!” Mic-sensei responded as he waved a hand out of his classroom.

----

Thirteen-sensei skipped into the 1A classroom. “Hello-o, Class 1A! I missed you guys so much! Hope you missed me too!” they crowed.

“Uh, it’s kinda hard to miss you because we see you every day,” Sero pointed out.

“ERRR!” Thirteen made a buzzer sound, “Wrong! You were supposed to say, ‘We missed you too, Thirteen-sensei!’”

Everyone sweatdropped at the genderless-void-of-a-teacher’s antics. Only Eri, the sweet little bean she was, said, “ I missed you!”

“You all fail my class. Except Eri of course,” Thirteen-sensei pouted underneath their helmet.

Iida sputtered in horror at the prospect of failing a class. Sato, who sat next to him, slapped the class president on the back repeatedly to keep him from choking on his spit. Izuku was just trying to contain his giggles at the scene while Eri was grinning on his lap like she won a prize. She was not helping, in fact, she made the urge to laugh all the more worse by whispering in his ear, “I think Tenya-chan needs to learn how to take a joke.”

----

Izuku was drafting his Speaking #9 homework for English in a way that would make him not sound fluent. He knew that his work in class contrasts greatly to his actual not-dumbed-down work, and it would be so much easier to not have to purposely put mistakes in his work, but old habits die hard. He learned the hard way that it wasn’t okay for a quirkless kid to be smarter than their peers.

Izuku’s phone pinged, drawing him out of his stupor.

Rat Overlord : What is the best thing that someone has said to you?

So we’re getting personal now. I knew this would happen sooner or later , Izuku thought.

German Shepherd : “Welcome to UA’s hero course, German Shepherd!”

Smart idea to substitute your name with your chat name, German Shepherd.

Seahorse : Mine is pretty much the same thing as German Shepherd’s- just change theirs to my chat name.

Monkey : ^ Same

Bat : ^^

Bird : “i’m so proud of you, bird. you’re going to be a hero!” :D

Tasmanian Devil : “You’re going to be the #1 hero, Tasmanian Devil, and I’ll be the #2 hero!”

Oh, I said that to Kacchan when he got his quirk… I can’t believe he still remembers that . Izuku didn’t know how to feel about this; on one hand it felt nice that Kacchan feels like this, but on the other hand, it brang up some repressed memories he would like to forget about.

Horse : Same as German Shepherd’s but different names [finger peace sign]

Butterfly : ^^^

Gorilla : “You are smart enough to become a top hero, you just need the confidence to back it up.”

Yaoyorozu has confidence problems. She might be Gorilla. I’ll have to investigate this hypothesis further.

Fox : can’t say mine because i’ll get found out

Black Mamba : ^^^^ What German Shepherd said.

White Tiger : “You are worth all of our time and energy in the world. Do not be ashamed of yourself, White Tiger.”

Oh wow, that’s deep , Izuku mused. Well, time for my answer, and there is only one thing that comes to mind.

Dragon : “I believe that you too, can be a hero.”

Chapter Text

Goddammnit , Izuku thought as he finished up his morning yoga routine, Tomorrow is Friday and I can’t just expose only one classmate. My two guesses could be wrong for all I know. Fuck it, I’ll sneak into Hagakure’s dorm because it’s the closest of the two.

With his mind made up, Izuku grabbed a screwdriver out of one of his desk drawers. He pulled up the dorm blueprints on his phone to see how to get to Hagakure’s room by vent. And with one hand, unscrewed the vent grate while standing on his beanbag chair for leverage. The grate fell on top of the beanbag chair, but also on Izuku’s right foot. He let out a string of curses as he stumbled off the beanbag chair, hopping on one foot. He put the screwdriver in his pocket and snagged one of the babies Mei made for him a few weeks ago.

~~~~

Three weeks ago…

“Hey! Ten Million! I made a whole bunch of babies for you!” Mei exclaimed with arms full of said babies.

“Oh, uh, thank you, Mei. I don’t really know what to do with all of them though,” Izuku stumbled over his words as the pile was dumped into his arms.

“I left instructions with all of them; you never know when you might need them!” she smiled.

“Ah, alright. I’ll just take them back to my dorm. Thanks again, Mei.”

“No problemo, Ten Million!” Mei waved, “Come back to the labs if you need more babies!”

Izuku flashed her a smile, “Got it!”

~~~~

You were right, Mei. I really did end up needing one of your babies , Izuku thought as he shimmied through the vents after using Full Cowl to get up there. The vents were unsurprisingly dust-free and big enough for an adult to crawl through. I knew this was how Aizawa-sensei snuck up on us all the time! Ha- take that Todoroki; your theory is wrong!

Izuku used the dorm blueprints to navigate through the vent maze and as a source of light from his phone. He stopped right before Hagakure’s vent grate, peering down through the metal grooves. He had a full view of her desk and the bathroom door, and as luck would have it, Hagakure’s phone was laying on her desk and the shower was running in the bathroom. Izuku thanked Fukurokuju for this one in a million chance. 

Using the screwdriver in his pocket, he unscrewed the vent grate and almost grabbed it before it could fall. 

Shit.  

The grate landed on the rug with a muted thump, thankfully not loud enough to be heard over the roaring shower. Ohmygodsthatwassoscary- okay, now please, please, don’t blow up on me or make a loud noise , Izuku prayed as he aimed the sticky-grabber-baby through the open vent at Hagakure’s phone. Green goo shot out of the contraption with an audible spat as it landed on the phone screen. He reeled the green goo in, Hagakure’s phone lifting off of her desk as it was pulled up. Once he had her phone in his hand, he clicked a button on the side of the baby and the green goo receded back into the machine. Izuku unlocked her phone using the password Eri had whispered to him before she was picked up by Mic-sensei after school yesterday. He opened up the group chat and scrolled through until he found the blue messages.

I was right, Hagakure is Butterfly , Izuku mentally congratulated himself. 

Suddenly, the shower shut off. Izuku’s breath hitched as he scrambled to get the phone back down on the desk before Hagakure opened the door. He lowered the phone with the sticky-grabber-baby as carefully as possible. As soon as it was in the correct position, he pressed the button on the side and watched as the green goo snapped back into the canister. Then Izuku turned around and army-crawled through the vents as fast as he could possibly manage. He was almost out of hearing range when he heard Hagakure’s bathroom door open and then her shrieking about her room being broken into. Suffice to say, he army-crawled even faster, lest Aizawa-sensei find out it was him.

After a few minutes of crawling through the vents, Izuku dropped down into his room. He wastes no time screwing the vent grate back on. Leave no evidence , he reminded himself as he put the screwdriver back into its rightful place and the sticky-grabber-baby back into its blast-proof box.

He then texts Jirou about Hagakure and receives another measly thumbs up emoji for his efforts.

“How unappreciative,” Izuku grumbled as he readied himself to take a much-needed shower.

----

“Guess what today is, everybody.” Ectoplasm-sensei’s prosthetics clicked into the classroom.

“It’s Thursday. I don’t know what you want us to say,” Shinsou deadpanned.

Nearly everybody snickered at the blunt answer, only Iida looked affronted at the mildly sassy response.

“Ha, ha. Very funny. Today is the unit five test; I hope you studied for it,” Ectoplasm-sensei sassed back.

“Oh crap! I forgot to study!” Kaminari whined. Sero laughed at the pikachu-knockoff’s misfortune.

“I guess I already know who’s going to fail,” the teacher side-eyed Kaminari.

Kaminari put his hand over his heart in a dramatic fashion. “Why must you think so lowly of me?”

“I’m not thinking lowly of you, I’m thinking from experience,” Ectoplasm-sensei huffed.

Raucous laughter filled the room, even Kaminari joined in, stating: “If I can’t laugh at myself, who can I laugh at?”

All in all, everyone started their test late, but it was worth it in Izuku’s opinion because sassy teachers are peak entertainment.

----

Izuku was tinkering with a toaster (Kaminari fried it last week) when his phone went off. Sighing, he set the mess of wires and metal back on his desk and focused on his phone. He took out his notebook and readied himself to start writing in his classmates’ answers.

Rat Overlord : What is the worst thing someone has ever said to you?

“ Fuck …” Izuku hissed, “I hate you, Nedzu!”

Sleepy Cat-Sensei : [3 middle finger emojis]

Damn right, Sensei! Fuck that stupid chimera! Izuku mentally cussed out his principal.

Monkey: “Your quirk is too weak, you’ll never be a hero with it!” 

I’m fine now, it doesn’t bother me anymore

Once I find out who you are, I will find out your past bully/bullies’ addresses and personally threaten them myself! Izuku vowed.

German Shepherd : Skip.

Horse : I don’t know, no one has ever said anything mean to my face before

Seahorse : “You’re just an ugly [redacted]! Go die in a hole!”

I have gotten over these words years ago. They no longer trouble me.

Sleepy Cat-Sensei : i’m happy that it doesn’t bother you anymore, but you will still see hound dog after this.

Seahorse : I understand.

Bird : skip :(

Fox : “24-14-20  11-14-14-10  9-20-18-19  11-8-10-4  24-14-20-17  5-26-19-7-4-17”

What the hell is that? Oh, it’s a code. I’ll have to crack it to get Fox’s answer. Ughhh… I’ll do it later.

Bat : I don’t know either

Gorilla : Skip.

Tasmanian Devil : It’s more what I said to someone else than what was said to me.

Butterfly : skip!

Black Mamba : I do not remember any such instances happening.

White Tiger : Skip

“Take a swan dive off the roof of the building and pray for a quirk in your next life!” Kacchan jeered at him.

Izuku took a deep breath and exhaled to shake off his impending panic attack.

Dragon : Skip.

Butterfly : well that was unexpected, i thought you would actually answer

Dragon : Hypocrite.

Butterfly : *le gasp*

Chapter Text

Izuku scribbled on a fresh piece of paper about various number codes, before settling on the easiest cipher: letter to number.

He started with Hiragana letters and labeled each one with a number. Then, he matched each letter to the numbers in Fox’s code, and ended up with something that roughly translated to: neset saseko get home over the fence neset area oh enemy territory . AKA, straight up gibberish. Next, he tried moving the numbers one spot forward and one spot backwards. He got Son of shiso sosa with konate sike rod summer possibility and kuotsu for the one spot forward and Nuste kossuke kumite vagina handset rare I threw it away the use of pictures for the one spot backwards. That last one was particularly mind boggling in Izuku’s opinion.

The bell rang, signaling the end of homeroom.

Izuku sighed and stuffed the sheet of paper into his backpack, uncaring if it crumpled or not. He’ll figure out the code later.

Mic-sensei sauntered into the classroom, whistling a cheery tune. He stopped at the podium and greeted 1A, “Good morning, Little Listeners! You all know the drill when we have recorded homework: sit back, relax, and let's watch your videos!”

A universal cringe rippled through the classroom when Mic-sensei said that. Nearly everybody tried melting into their seats while the peppy teacher pulled up their Speaking #9 videos on the whiteboard. The videos played in seat order, so thankfully his video would be played towards the end.

Izuku braced himself for the awkward pauses, mixed up words, and random voice cracks in the middle of sentences. Being prepared never helped with reality, though. He’d bet everyone still remembers Kaminari’s legendary sneeze from the very first Speaking homework; it’s certainly hard to forget Kaminari’s surprised-pikachu-face when the lightbulb above him exploded from being overheated too quickly. It’s also regarded as a class miracle that Kaminari’s phone didn’t short out while he sneezed, so the class still got to see the unforgettable video.

When his video came up, Izuku buried his head into his arms to quell the embarrassment he felt. The extra stutters he added to his sentences really secured the whole ‘anxious green-bean’ facade. Izuku could practically feel the second-hand embarrassment wafting from his classmates, making his own embarrassment worse.

Mic-sensei, you're a great teacher, but this is too much for my poor soul to handle!  

Izuku ascended right then and there, prompting Shinsou to hurriedly fan him with a textbook. Kacchan’s cackling was not helping with the fact that Izuku’s soul had said, “Fuck this shit, I’m out!”

----

Izuku was on his way back to class during the after-lunch passing period when he bumped into Aizawa-sensei. Literally.

“Oh! I’m so sorry, Aizawa-sensei; I wasn’t looking where I was going,” Izuku babbled, “Um, I have a question for you. Do you remember Principal Nedzu’s question on Monday about the villain names and you responded with something about ‘not doing that assignment again’? It made me really curious and I forgot to ask you about it earlier because I just kept forgetting and forgetting-”

“Just spit it out, Problem Child,” Aizawa-sensei huffed.

“Sorry! Uh, what assignment were you talking about?” Izuku’s cheeks burned red.

Aizawa-sensei let out a long-suffering sigh, “It was just a stupid assignment Nedzu made the hero classes do in my second year. It failed so badly that it hasn’t been done since. Don’t worry about it, Problem Child.”

“O-okay then, um, sorry for bumping into you again!” Izuku bowed as his homeroom teacher walked away.

Well, that left me with more questions than answers , he internally snarked, I guess I’ll have to do some digging of my own .

----

His fingers flew across the keyboard of his computer, deftly hacking into the UA mainframe in search of the files from Aizawa-sensei’s second year. Jackpot! Izuku pulled up a file with red letters typed across the top.

Hero vs. Villain Civil War: FAILURE

Scrolling down the file he came across some very interesting information.

Villain Leader: Aizawa Shouta

Teammates: Yamada Hizashi, Shirakumo Oboro, Kayama Nemuri, and Iida Tensei

Ooh, now this is fascinating , Izuku’s eyes shone with curiosity.

His phone pinged with a new message from Nedzu, causing him to scowl at the interruption to his research.

Rat Overlord : What is your favorite game to play?

Huh, I don’t know how I’ll answer this one , Izuku pondered.

Sleepy Cat-Sensei : i swear to god if you make them do any squid-game type shit i will have your head.

What the hell is a squid-game? Who would even want to do any kind of ‘octopus activities’?

Tasmanian Devil : Does beating these fuckers at Mario Cart count as a favorite game? If not, then I don’t have a favorite.

Sleepy Cat-Sensei : language. and sure ‘beating these fuckers at mario cart’ counts i guess.

Tasmanian Devil : Ha! Suck it, extras!

Oh my god, I can practically see Kacchan flipping his phone screen off right now. Goddamnit, now that image is stuck in my head…

German Shepherd : That is very rude to say, Tasmanian Devil. Please apologize to our classmates.

Tasmanian Devil : No. [middle finger emoji]

Monkey : Mood lol

Seahorse : I enjoy playing Mancala. It is very relaxing.

Monkey : Sounds fun

Monkey : You know that game we all probably played in primary school during gym class? 

I think it’s called Mission Impossible or something 

that’s my favorite game

German Shepherd : My favorite game is chess.

Bird : i spy

Bat : Hide and seek

Jirou is probably stupidly good at hide and seek because of her quirk , Izuku thought.

Horse : Quirk tag

Oh! I remember playing that when Kacchan and I were still friends! Crap , shut up bad memories…

Butterfly : ghost in the graveyard! [ghost emoji}

Black Mamba : Werewolf.

Fox : don’t have a favorite

Gorilla : I cannot decide between chess, backgammon, and shogi.

I’ve never played backgammon before; it sounds interesting.

White Tiger : Cards Against Humanity

I don’t know my favorite game- ARGHH! Hopefully this counts as a game then…

Dragon : Mind games.

Rat Overlord : How interesting! It is now time to put your brains to good use and vote again! Here is the link: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx the results will be posted tomorrow.

Time to reveal my classmates again!

Dragon : Horse is Sato and Butterfly is Hagakure.

Horse : I expected to be revealed, but I didn’t expect Hagakure to be revealed as well

Butterfly : i thought i was doing a good job at hiding my identity

Dragon : You were doing a good job, but I just happened to 

have access to your phone for a period of time.

Butterfly : you’re the one who broke into my room aren’t you?!

I am not dignifying that with an answer. Not today, Satan! I do not want to be killed in my sleep by Aizawa-sensei.

Chapter Text

Izuku inhaled as he went through the motions of the sun salutations and exhaled as he lowered himself into a steady downward dog.

“Hey, Midoriya, Bakugo made omurice, do you want some?” Jirou barged into his room, eyes on her phone.

“Eeep!” he squeaked in surprise at her sudden intrusion.

Jirou looked up from her phone and noticed his precarious position. “Oh my god,” she snorted as she held up her phone to take a picture.

Click.

That tiny sound made him die a little inside.

“Jirou! Delete it! Now, Please!” Izuku collapsed in a heap.

“Hell no,” she smirked.

Izuku stumbled to his feet and rushed at her, his hand narrowly missing Jirou’s phone. The teenager cackled as she ran down the hallway, leaving the embarrassed Izuku behind. With no time to waste, he chased after her, forgoing the elevator and jumping down the staircase using One For All in the hopes that he could intercept Jirou before she did anything with the picture. In the end, it was all for naught because she had already sent it to 1A’s non-assignment class group chat.

The 1A Villain Magnets

Earphone Jack : [1 image: Izuku wearing a shirt that says ‘workout shirt’ on it and UA gym uniform pants, in the downward dog position, butt facing the camera, with a shocked expression on his face]

The damage had been done. 

Everyone was laughing at the embarrassing picture of him, making his cheeks burn red. Kacchan howled with laughter the loudest as he typed something into his phone; the printer in the common room whirred to life a second later.

Izuku watched in despair as the printer belched out two papers, no doubt copies of the stupid picture Jirou took. He watched as Kacchan stalked up to the printer and grabbed those two copies. He watched as he handed him a copy of the object of his misery. 

It was just like junior high all over again, with his former classmates taking stupid pictures of him and posting them on social media. Only now it’s his new classmates doing a variation of the same thing. Izuku knows that this is all in good fun and that his classmates mean no harm (except Kacchan), but there’s still a tiny part of him that’s waiting for the other shoe to drop; for them to all turn against him at a moment's notice.

----

Izuku munched on his oyakodon next to his friends while half-listening to their conversation about Todoroki’s ‘Shinsou is Aizawa-sensei’s secret love child’ theory. He internally giggled at how correct it is.

“Um, Midoriya?”

“Hmm?” Izuku perked up at hearing his name called.

“I have a new theory about what happened when you were late coming out of the locker room with Bakugo on Tuesday,” Todoroki stated as Shinsou sneakily started recording the interaction.

“Ah. Okay, tell me,” he smiled.

“Are you and Bakugo dating?” Todoroki asked.

Hol’up, WHAT?!

Izuku blue-screened.

Izuku.exe has stopped working, pending reboot…

Uraraka choked on her chicken katsu at the absurd question, Iida froze with his orange juice halfway to his mouth, Tsu ribbited awkwardly, and Shinsou had this cat-who-got-the-canary expression on his face.

He finished rebooting, “EW, NO! Kacchan and I are just rivals! We kind of had a fight and that’s why we were a little bit late.”

Todoroki nodded in understanding, “I see.”

…

Near the end of lunch, Katsuki pulled out the printed copy of the picture Ears took that morning.

“Oi, Soy-Sauce! Gimme a piece of tape,” Katsuki held out his hand.

“Huh? Sure, I guess,” Soy-Sauce mumbled around a mouthful of udon. He swallowed and then ripped off a piece of tape from his elbow, placing it in Katsuki’s waiting hand.

Katsuki stood up and walked out of the cafeteria with the tape and the picture, much to the bafflement of his seatmates.

He made his way to 1A’s giant door and taped the picture to it, smirking at his handiwork.

…

Izuku chatted with his friends as they walked back to the classroom. As they got closer, they spotted a crowd in front of the door, so they sped up to see what all the commotion was about.

There, taped to the door was one of the copies Kacchan printed out earlier in the day.

Izuku’s face fell at the sight of random students pointing, laughing, and taking pictures of 1A’s door.

“I-I’m going to go to the bathroom,” he stammered out to the Dekusquad, already turning on his heel and leaving.

They called out after him, but he ignored them. He needed to be alone right now.

…

Shouta was getting fed up with all the noise outside of the classroom, it also didn’t help that it disturbed him from his daily lunchtime nap.

He shuffled himself out of his yellow cocoon to go see what all the irritating noise was about. Shouta opened the door to find a hoard of students laughing and taking pictures of something. The noise abruptly stopped when he glared at all of them, quirk active. “What is going on?” he snarled.

One of the Gen-Ed students squeaked out, “We were laughing and taking pictures of the picture taped to the door!”

“What picture?” Shouta demanded.

“Aizawa-sensei, Bakugo put an embarrassing picture of Deku on the door!” Uraraka puffed her cheeks out in anger.

“Bakugo,” he turned the full force of his glare onto the smirking student, “Detention after school today.”

Immediately, the ash-blonde’s cheeky grin fell. “Yes, Sensei,” he ground out through gritted teeth.

Shouta stepped around the door and peeled the picture from it. “I expect you all to delete any pictures you have taken of this. If I find out you haven’t, then I will be having words with Nedzu about this. Am I clear?”

“Yes, sir!” the students whimpered and did as they were told.

“Good. Now scram!” Shouta waved them off.

The students scattered in fear, leaving only his students behind.

“Go sit down, Thirteen will be with you soon,” he told his class as he turned in the direction of the teachers’ lounge.

He didn’t need to hear any affirmations from them to know they listened.

Shouta trudged to the lounge, letting his simmering anger leave his body on the way there. He opened the door and stepped inside, throwing the picture into the recycling bin by the door. Then, he dragged himself over to the kitchenette and grabbed the full pot of still-steaming coffee from the coffeemaker. As he took a sip of the heavenly brew, he heard Nemuri’s affronted gasp, “I just made that!”

“Sucks to be you, Nem,” he smirked as he walked out of the teachers’ lounge, coffee pot still in his hand.

“Stupid coffee-addicted Shouta,” Nemuri grumbled as she took out a spare coffee pot from the cabinet and made herself some more coffee. Her back was leaning against the counter as she waited for her pot to brew when she saw a slip of paper on the floor next to the recycling bin. Nemuri sighed as she went to put it into the bin, but not before flipping it over to see what was on it. She let out a peal of laughter at the contents of the picture. “This is by the recycling bin for a reason,” she stuffed the picture into the bin, “I won’t be uploading this to the Students Doing Stupid Things Reel. Although, this is just as funny as Tenya running into glass sliding doors on camera!”

----

Izuku went back to class a little later after the picture incident, Iida was so worried about him that he didn’t even scold him about being late. He finished out the day and then went to hide out in his dorm room until dinner. Now, he’s back in his room, with a full stomach and in a better mood too.

His pencil hovered above his notes about Fox’s code, the eraser nub between his teeth in concentration.

“I’m going to try out the code in English; maybe that will work,” he mumbled around the eraser in his mouth.

Izuku took his mouth off the pencil, scribbled out the English Alphabet, and matched it to the numbers in the code.

‘Xnt knnj itrs khjd xntq ezsgdq’ is just gibberish. I’ll try moving it one forward.

“Yes! I cracked it! Fox’s code means, ‘you look just like your father’,” Izuku cheered, “That means Fox is Todoroki.”

He texted Jirou about the new development, before he got a response from her though, Nedzu sent his new question to the assignment group chat.

Rat Overlord : What is one boring fact about yourself?

I don’t know, I think I’m a very boring person…

German Shepherd : I was on the swim team in primary school.

Monkey : I don’t like brussel sprouts

Most of my classmates don’t like brussel sprouts, how am I supposed to find anyone out from this?!

Seahorse : I ate sand as a child.

“Gross,” Izuku snorted at the text.

Gorilla : I like to read.

Bat : I once won a rigged claw machine game when I was 7

Bird : my favorite number is 3 :)

Fox : i like to ice skate

Black Mamba : I enjoy exploring campus grounds.

White Tiger : I can hula-hoop

It’s so weird not seeing Kacchan texting here, too bad he got found out. I didn’t even have to do anything for it to happen; he brought it on himself! The ‘Ha! Suck it, extras!’ was a dead giveaway if somebody didn’t already know who he was. Wait- I forgot I needed to answer the question Nedzu sent!

Dragon : I’ve been attacked by villains before.

My whole class has been attacked by villains multiple times. This is literally the most boring answer I could come up with, Izuku grinned.

Chapter Text

It’s 2:03 in the morning, and Izuku is hacking Yaoyorozu’s computer because Nedzu forbade hacking phones, and a computer is the next best thing after a phone of course.

He types long lines of code into his personal computer (the school computers can be tracked by Nedzu), slowly gaining access to her firewall after finding her signal through the wifi. Once he got through her firewall, he set about looking through her search history to see if there was anything suspicious to be found there. After scrolling through lots of chemical equations and a few searches about various hair products, he came across a goldmine of information: numerous Google searches about gorillas and ‘What Animal Are You?’ quizzes.

“Yesss,” he whisper-cheered.

Izuku got all the evidence he needed, so he started backing out of the firewall as carefully as possible to not leave a trace of himself behind. 

Once completed, he turned off his computer and awkwardly shuffled from his desk chair to his bed. Izuku burrowed himself into his All-Might themed comforter, his hand blindly grasping for his phone on the nightstand. Izuku’s scarred fingers closed around the piece of technology with a little fumbling, but he brought it to his face just fine. He turned his phone on, blinking rapidly to adjust to the sudden light. Izuku clicked on the message app and pulled Jirou’s contact up.

Deku : Hey, I know you’re probably not awake 

right now, but I thought you should know this anyways.

Deku : Yaoyorozu is Gorilla.

Earphone Jack : …

Earphone Jack : Why are you awake right now

Deku : That’s the first thing you say?

No ‘thanks for telling me’ or anything?

If you have to know, I was confirming 

my theory about Yaoyorozu being Gorilla.

Deku : Why are you awake?

Earphone Jack : I’m awake ‘cause you woke 

me up also I’m sorry about yesterday I only 

took the picture as a joke and I feel really bad about it

Earphone Jack : I already removed the picture from both 

my camera roll and the villain magnet group chat

Earphone Jack : How did you even come to the 

conclusion that Yaoyorozu is Gorilla

Deku : Oh, sorry about waking you up.

 I forgive you, I already knew you felt 

bad; your silence during training clued me in.

To answer your question, I actually hacked her 

computer and found lots of evidence proving my theory.

The three dots popped up on his screen, showing that Jirou was typing something. Then, the dots disappeared for a second or two before starting back up again.

Earphone Jack : I don’t even know how to respond to that

who even hacks stuff at 2 in the goddamn morning 

on a school night

Deku : What’s wrong with hacking stuff 

in the early morning on a school night?

Earphone Jack : [skull emoji]

----

“Alrighty, Class 1A! It is time for my least favorite unit: the Pre-Quirk Era, circa 2025-2029,” Gear-sensei clapped her hands.

Iida raised his hand, “Excuse me, Gear-sensei, but why is this your least favorite unit?”

“You will learn the answer to that today!” she responded as she trotted to the podium. “Now!” her hands smacked the podium, “Who knows a little about what happened during this time period?”

A good portion of the class raised their hands.

“Hmm… Tokoyami!” Gear-sensei pointed at the raven-headed teen.

“Quirks had just started showing up the year before, so everybody was quite wary about the new development. Though, the actions they took against quirks and others were bizarre to say the least,” Tokoyami droned.

“Yep! Does anyone know who was president of the USA at the time?”

Tsu was called on, “Was it Dorarudo Bumpu, kero? I think I butchered his name.”

Gear-sensei snorted, “Yeah, you did, but it was close enough. His name is Donald Trump.”

Kaminari leaned back in his chair to whisper to Kirishima, “His name sounds like one of those American white trash guys the internet is always complaining about.”

Kirishima nodded sagely, “Exactly, Kamibro.”

Jirou and Shouji muffled their laughter at the exchange.

“Moving on,” Gear-sensei leveled a look at them, “Japan and America had an alliance during this time. This unit, we’re going to be learning about how Trump affected both Japan and America. I’m going to hand out packets to everyone; you will be filling these out for the entirety of this unit. Don’t lose them, I don’t have extras. I’m looking at you, Ashido, no more ‘Kirishima ate my homework’ excuses anymore.”

“He actually did eat my homework that time though!” Mina pouted.

“I don’t care,” Gear-sensei stated as she used her quirk to deliver the packets to each of the students. “I’m going to put Trump’s inauguration video on the whiteboard, and you guys will fill out pages one through three.”

…

About ten-ish minutes into the video, Mina piped up, “His son does not look like he wants to be there, what a mood.”

“That’s kind of like me when I’m with my father at the annual Hero Gala,” Todoroki chimed in.

“Oh my god, slay!”

Five minutes later, Sero pointed out, “Holy hell, he’s dancing-”

“Oh gosh, I see it, ew, it’s old grandpa dancing!” Shinsou said.

Thirty minutes after that, Hagakure exclaimed, “Oh my god, is that the WWll salute we learned about in our first year of junior high? Ugh…”

“Elon Musk looks like a fascist disguised as one of those pre-quirk beanie babies, vrai ?” Aoyama asked.

“What’s a beanie babies?” Uraraka questioned.

“ Porcs non cultivés ,” Aoyama murmured underneath his breath.

Forty-nine minutes into the video, Gear-sensei paused it and told them they’d finish the rest tomorrow, much to the chagrin of the class.

----

“Today, we will be working on dodging, using a game of dodgeball of course!” All Might’s voice boomed, “The best offence is a good defence! Now, suit up in your gym uniforms and meet me at Gym Omicron!”

“UA has too much money; they have way too many training simulators,” Uraraka mumbled to herself. Ojiro silently agreed with her.

…

Class 1A, all decked-out in their gym uniforms, scattered themselves around Gym Omicron, which looked like a high-tech laser-tag arena minus the darkness and it had baskets of foam balls all over the terrain. Truly a perfect place for a game of high-stakes dodgeball.

“Remember, one hit and you’re out, catching the ball doesn’t count as an out, and no puppy guarding the ball baskets. Three, two, one, GO!” All Might shouted.

Immediately, Izuku grabbed three balls with one arm from the ball basket next to him and then vaulted himself up into the rafters using One For All. He settled into waiting for the perfect moment to strike.

A few minutes later, apparently Fukurokuju decided to shine on him today (as opposed to yesterday) because Kacchan was snagging as many balls as he could from the basket right below Izuku’s vantage point. Prime targeting area. He readied one of his three balls in his right hand and threw a mean curveball that veered a sharp left before smacking Kacchan on the temple. That’s for yesterday, jackass.

Kacchan’s enraged scream sounded in time with All Might’s announcement of, “Young Bakugo, You’re out!”

----

Izuku munched on the last of his yakitori skewers as he scrolled through his favorite hero forum. He had just clicked on a Best Jeanist video when his phone pinged and Nedzu’s message popped up.

Rat Overlord : What is your favorite ice cream flavor?

I actually might be able to uncover another one of my classmates with this question , Izuku thought.

German Shepherd : Orange sorbet.

That’s Iida. As far as I know (I definitely know; I’ve been taking notes on my classmates for months), he’s the only one who likes orange sorbet. He’s also the only one who told me his favorite flavor… We always get a three-liter container of neapolitan for Sunday movie nights, so I never got to know everyone’s favorites… damn it.

Monkey : Vanilla and cookie dough

Seahorse : Strawberry.

Gorilla : Raspberry.

Bat : Chocolate

Bird : raspberry and vanilla :)

Fox : everything

Black Mamba : Chocolate.

White Tiger : Cookie dough and strawberry

Dragon : Vanilla.

…

Deku : Iida is German Shepherd.

Earphone Jack : K thanks

Chapter Text

“It has recently come to my attention that it was Jirou who took the picture of Midoriya,” Aizawa-sensei sighed. “I don’t care what your intentions were when you took that picture, but UA doesn’t condone this type of crap. For that, I have to give you lunch detention,” he addressed Jirou.

“I understand, Sensei.” Jirou bowed her head.

“Okay, moving on. I don’t have anything planned for today, so you have a free homeroom to do whatever you want. With that said, don’t wake me up.” Aizawa-sensei crawled into his yellow sleeping-bag and slumped behind the podium.

Immediately, 1A devolved into chatter as they moved around the room to sit with their friends. Izuku happily chatted with his group of friends for the rest of the period, although he was a bit sad because Eri was sick and couldn’t come to their scheduled hangout this week.

----

“Good morning, everybody. You have a few minutes to get out your notebooks, a writing utensil, and a calculator while my clones and I tape your stations around the classroom,” Ectoplasm-sensei told them.

Izuku yanked his backpack from under his desk and rummaged around in it. He pulled out his math notebook, a random pencil from the bottom of his bag, and his calculator, he set them on his desk and then nudged his backpack with his shoe back where it belonged.

Ectoplasm-sensei cleared his throat to get everybody’s attention. “You will be doing some basic trigonometry stations today. My clones and I have placed twelve stations around the classroom. You may complete them in any order you please as long as you don’t mix up the order you do them in; I don’t want the answer for station three in the place of the answer for station nine,” he explained, “You have thirty minutes to complete all of the stations before we go over the answers together. You may start now.”

Izuku made his way over to the station closest to him, which just so happened to be station one.

Station One. What are the trigonometric ratios for sine, cosine, and tangent?

Izuku’s answer: sinθ= opposite/hypotenuse cosθ= adjacent/hypotenuse tanθ= opposite/adjacent

He moved onto the next station.

Station Two. A 9-meter ladder leaning against a building makes an angle of 55° with the ground. How far from the base of the building is the foot of the ladder?

Izuku’s answer: cos 55°= x/9  x=5.16 meters

Again.

Station Three. Using the diagram below, use an inverse trigonometric function to find m ∠ A . Then, use that to find m ∠ B . Round to the nearest hundredth.

Izuku’s answer: ∠ A = sin^-1(6/10)  ∠ A = 36.87°  m ∠ B = 53.13°

And again.

Station Four. A camera at ground level observes a rocket ship taking off in a straight path vertically through the air. The camera sits 2000 ft from the rocket’s launch pad. At the moment when the rocket is 5000 ft directly above the ground, what is the angle of elevation from the camera to the rocket? Round to the nearest hundredth.

Izuku’s answer: ∠ X = tan^-1(5000/2000)  ∠ X = 68.20°

Until he had completed all of the stations.

Station Twelve. A sonar operator on a ship detects a submarine at an angle of depression of 35°. The submarine is directly below a buoy 400 km from the ship. How deep is the submarine? Round your answer to one decimal place.

Izuku’s answer: tan 35°= x/400  x= 280.1 km

----

In Izuku’s opinion, Art History is the best place to take a nap. Midnight-sensei doesn’t care what they do in class as long as they do their work and keep quiet. Shinsou’s quiet snores from behind him have already given way as a testament to this fact. What’s a little shut-eye going to do? He might as well take a page out of the resident insomniac’s book.

----

It was just after dinner, when Kirishima, Mina, Kaminari, and Sero tried sneaking into Height’s Alliance with a fat gray cat. They failed in their attempt because said cat was yowling, hissing, and writhing around in Kirishima’s hold like a little demon. The redhead was forced to barely harden his skin up to his forearms, just enough to make his skin tough but not sharp, in order to minimise injury to himself and the cat.

Everyone who was either in the common room or the kitchen stared at them in disbelief.

“Uh, a little help here? We found this little guy roaming around while we were taking out the trash. We couldn’t just leave it out there all by itself,” Kirishima explained.

“Do I hear a cat?” Shinsou’s head popped out around the corner of the staircase.

“My idiot fuckers brought a demon cat into the dorms,” Kacchan growled from the kitchen.

“AWW! He called us ‘his’!” Mina squealed, “We knew you loved us, Blasty!”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP, I’LL KILL YOU!!” Kacchan screamed.

Shinsou giddily trotted to a place he could see the cat from. As soon as he saw it, he froze. “What is Sensei’s cat doing here? More importantly, what is my cat doing here?” he whispered that second part.

“This is Sensei’s cat?!” Kaminari blanched.

“Why do you know that and none of us do?” Todoroki pried.

Shinsou backtracks for a moment, “‘Cause Aizawa-sensei has been training me to use his scarf on the weekends. We take lunch breaks at the teachers’ dorms, so I see his cat all the time.”

“Oh, cool. Since you're so familiar with it, can you please take it from me?” Kirishima begged.

Shinsou huffed, but took the cat from Kirishima. The demon cat immediately settled down in Shinsou’s arms. “She’s not an ‘it’, and her name is Bastard, you would’ve known that if you bothered to check her collar.”

“Why is her name Bastard?” Sero asked.

“One, because she is a bastard, and two, because Sensei is terrible at naming animals. His other cats are named Cardboard, Rat, and Meowed Cloud.”

“That last name isn’t bad,” Sero pointed out.

“That’s because Mic-sensei named him. The rest were named by Aizawa-sensei.”

“They’re such good friends! I’m kinda jealous; I want to stay friends with everyone after we graduate like they did!” Kirishima laughed.

Oh you have no idea how good of ‘friends’ they are , Izuku thought as he recorded the entire interaction from the common room couch.

…

Within minutes after Izuku stopped recording, all of their phones went off with Nedzu’s new message. Everybody retreated to their rooms, including Shinsou with Bastard still curled up in his arms.

The greenette flopped onto his bed and pulled out his notebook to start recording his classmates’ answers.

Rat Overlord : Where is your favorite place to take a nap?

This might give me something, but it’s still fairly useless.

Bird : dorms :3

Bat : My room

Gorilla : My dorm room.

Seahorse : Someplace quiet.

German Shepherd : I do not take naps.

Monkey : The hammock in the yard

Fox : i dont take naps either

Black Mamba : Trees.

White Tiger : My bed

Yep, that gave me nothing , Izuku scowled.

Dragon : I don’t take naps.

…

Earphone Jack : I feel like I haven’t been contributing to our 

alliance so I hope this makes up for it

Earphone Jack : Tokoyami is Black Mamba 

I’ve seen him sleeping in trees before

Izuku raised his eyebrows. “Well, this is a surprise,” he mumbled.

Deku : Thanks, Jirou!

Chapter Text

Izuku knocked on the door to 1A ten minutes before Lunch A was let out.

“What is it?” a groggy Aizawa-sensei grumbled from the other side.

“Um, Aizawa-sensei, may I ask you a question?” Izuku asked as he walked into the room.

“You just did, but ask away.” Aizawa-sensei wriggled around in his garish yellow sleeping bag.

Izuku fiddled with his fingers. “Do you think you could get Shinsou’s phone for me? Principal Nedzu didn’t say anything against asking a teacher for help in the rules.”

“That’s a clever idea, Problem Child, but I’m not allowed to interfere with Hitoshi’s education because he is my son. Mic isn’t allowed to either; we have to let one of the other teachers grade Hitoshi’s work because we cannot do so ourselves,” Aizawa-sensei explained.

“Oh, that’s okay, I understand,” he replied.

“I’m still not that happy with you knowing that Mic and I are married; we were hiding it for a reason,” he lightly scolded Izuku.

“It wasn’t my fault, Eri told me because she’s not that good at keeping secrets!” Izuku pleaded.

“I’m still less than pleased. On that note, have you seen a fat gray cat that acts like a demon? Her name is Bastard and she likes to roam around campus. She didn’t come home last night like she always does; I’m beginning to get worried about her.”

“Oh, she’s fine. Here, I even have proof.” Izuku took his phone out, pulled up the video from last night, and handed off his phone to his teacher.

Aizawa-sensei watched the video with no small amount of disappointment. “You’re all going to be the death of me. I’ll pick her up after classes are over.” he handed Izuku’s phone back.

“Alright, I’ll let my classmates know about that,” he said.

“Lunch is ending in the next minute and a half. Go sit down; your classmates will be here soon,” Aizawa-sensei ordered.

Izuku did as he was told and pulled out his Hero Analysis for the Present #15 notebook to pass the time.

Soon enough, the classroom was swarmed by his classmates' easy laughter as they sat in their seats.

Thirteen-sensei bounced into the room as the bell went off, spouting cheerful greetings to 1A. “Today, we are going to watch a movie about genetics because I forgot to make a lesson plan!” they said.

Iida raised his right hand, “Thirteen-sensei, that is very irresponsible of you! I hope you remember to make a lesson plan next time!” he chopped the air with his left.

Thirteen-sensei ignored Iida. “It’s a sci-fi movie about humans turning into aliens through a virus that attacks DNA; it’s sciency enough that I won’t get in trouble for not teaching you. I still have to make you guys answer questions about the movie on a worksheet though, I, unfortunately, can’t escape grading papers…”

“Ah, yes, paperwork, the bane of our existence. It truly is a pain one cannot escape,” Tokoyami mused.

“Fumi’s just being dramatic!” Dark Shadow chirped.

“Silence, Dark Shadow! Go back to the void from whence you came,” Tokoyami shooed Dark Shadow away, the quirk giggled as she disappeared.

“My apologies, Sensei. Dark Shadow is… exuberant,” Tokoyami sighed.

“No problem, Tokoyami!” they assured the bird-headed teen, “Let’s get this movie started!” Thirteen-sensei pressed play on the movie.

“Sensei, you forgot to pass out the worksheet!” Iida chopped the air.

“Screw you, Iida,” Mina grumbled to herself, “If you had let Thirteen-sensei forget about passing out the papers, we wouldn’t have to do any work.”

Jirou masked a laugh as a cough.

“Oh, Iida, you’re right! My bad, guys,” they bustled around the room, handing out the worksheets as the movie’s opening played.

Izuku distinctly heard someone’s head make contact with their desk; they must have taken one look at the double-sided thirty question worksheet and lost their will to live. Well, it’s not like it was a problem for him seeing as he had already lost his will to live back when he was in junior high. Thanks, Kacchan.

----

“I know you all have been dreading this, but we are now entering our poetry unit,” Cementoss-sensei said.

The class groaned over the sound of Iida reprimanding them.

“I get it, poetry isn’t your favorite- it doesn’t have to be, but please, try to focus,” he pleaded.

“I will always focus on your lessons!” Iida stated.

“Ah- you were not included in that statement, Iida. I’m well aware that you focus during my lessons,” Cementoss-sensei sweatdropped.

“I see. Thank you for the clarification, Sensei!”

“Okay, back to what I was saying: please focus. Now, can I have everybody come up to the front to grab a copy of Kenji Miyazawa’s Undefeated by the Rain ?” he regained the class’s attention.

Everybody slouched out of their seats to grab a copy of the novel, Iida all the while trying to get everyone to line up single file (he failed). Once everyone was seated, Cementoss-sensei continued on, “We will analyze the poetry of different poets over the course of this unit. Today, we will be starting with the famous Kenji Miyazawa. Please open your books to the first piece of poetry…”

Izuku drowned his teacher out with mini hypothetical conversations he could have, but would probably never happen.

----

Izuku stretched out across the couch in the common room, a pillow smooshed against his face. The front door cracked open with a squeak as Aizawa-sensei waddled inside, clad in his obnoxious yellow sleeping bag. He inchwormed to the carpeted area of the common room and flopped down on the section in front of the couch Izuku was laying on. 

“Where’s my cat?” he asked.

Izuku shuffled the pillow off of his face. “Bastard is either in Shinsou’s room or in Mina’s room getting an impromptu makeover.”

A loud yowl comes from upstairs. 

Aizawa-sensei shoved his face into the carpet and heaved a sigh, “My poor cat…” he eyed Izuku weirdly. The greenette caught his eye and immediately responded, “No, I will not get up from this very comfy couch to rescue your cat. I refuse to go near Mina when she’s like this; last time I did, I ended up getting a makeover,” Izuku shuddered at the memory of the torture Mina put his hair through.

“Hngh…” Aizawa-sensei shoved his head further into the fluffy carpet.

Izuku’s phone pinged with a new message from Nedzu. He sighed as he pulled himself off of the couch. “Hopefully, Shinsou will be able to rescue Bastard before she’s too traumatised,” he said before he left the common room to go to his room.

…

Izuku slid into his desk chair as his classmates’ answers started rolling in.

Rat Overlord : Who is your favorite teacher?

Oh, well this is an easy one to answer , he thought.

Monkey : All Might

German Shepherd : Aizawa-sensei.

Seahorse : Aizawa-sensei.

Bird : aizawa-sensei :)

Fox : aizawa sensei

Bat : Aizawa-sensei

Gorilla : Aizawa-sensei.

Black Mamba : Aizawa-sensei.

White Tiger : Aizawa-sensei

Dragon : Aizawa-sensei.

Sleepy-Cat Sensei : …

Sleepy-Cat Sensei : thank you

He is absolutely crying into the carpet right now , Izuku smiled.

Chapter Text

Izuku made sure that the coast was clear before he entered Jirou’s room. The purple-haired teen had invited him to talk about their alliance. Now that it was the last day of the assignment, they had to decide whether or not to continue with the alliance.

Izuku sat down on Jirou’s desk chair, hesitantly waiting for her to bridge the awkward silence between them.

“I, uh,” Jirou started, “I would like to continue our alliance. If we reveal eachother, I’m more likely to get voted out because Monkey said his favorite teacher is All Might, and everybody knows you like All Might, so they’ll think that Monkey is you,” she continued.

“Fair enough. I’d rather not have to reveal you either,” Izuku said.

“So, uh, shake on it?” she asked.

“Uh, sure. Do we really need to?” Izuku raised an eyebrow.

“I guess not. It just feels more ‘professional’ or some shit if we shake hands after we make an important decision. Like in the movies.”

“You’ve watched way too many of those spy movies. Whatever, we can shake on it.” Izuku held out his hand. Jirou reached out and shook it.

“Now that that’s done, we should probably go down and get breakfast before everyone else takes it all,” Jirou reminded him.

“Oh, you’re right. I should grab my last peanut butter protein shake before Kirishima gets to it,” he mumbled to himself.

…

Izuku sipped on his protein shake as he watched Todoroki try to justify arson (as long as it’s used to burn Endeavor merch) to Iida. It wasn’t working, so Todoroki gave up after some time.

“I have a new theory. I believe Aizawa-sensei’s cat, Bastard, is possessed by a demon,” Todoroki suddenly became serious.

Shinsou snorted as he started recording the conspiracy theorist’s new theory, to send to his parents of course, “Ooh, do tell, Todoroki.”

“She is possessed by Scratchy.”

“Like that one cat demon from the pre-quirk series The Simpsons ?” Uraraka asked.

“Yes.”

“That is the most outlandish thing I think I’ve ever heard you say, kero,” Tsu commented.

Shinsou shook in his seat, laughing.

“Todoroki, I must ask, are you getting enough sleep at night? The theories you come up with are so… unique that I wonder if it’s sleep deprivation talking,” Iida fussed.

“What’s sleep?” Todoroki deadpanned.

“Preach!” Shinsou got out between bouts of wheezy laughter.

“Why Scratchy? Why not a Bakeneko?” Izuku asked.

“I think Scratchy would like to take over the world and cats always like world domination, therefore Bastard is possessed by Scratchy and not a Bakeneko.”

They were stunned into silence. Not out of awe, but out of incredulity.

“World…domination…?” Iida’s brows furrowed.

Shinsou was still laughing.

“Yes. Cats like world domination,” Todoroki nodded.

“And why do you know this?” Uraraka probed.

“I once saw Principal Nedzu discussing taking down the HPSC with this gray cat who had weirdly omniscient eyes.”

Shinsou stopped laughing. “Did the cat have a blue collar?”

“Yes, it did. Do you know the cat?” Todoroki asked.

“Uh, yeah, I do. His name is Meowed Cloud and he is another one of Aizawa-sensei’s cats,” Shinsou sweatdropped.

“I see. All of Aizawa-sensei’s cats must be in on the plan for world domination.”

“No, that’s not-” Shinsou wheezed, he struggled to form words around his laughter, eventually giving up in doing so.

“Because you are Aizawa-sensei’s secret love child, you must be trying to cover up that you know anything about Nedzu’s plan for world domination.”

Shinsou laughed harder.

Izuku reached over the table to grab Shinsou’s phone and stop the recording. He set the phone back down silently, the rest of the table noticed nothing because they were too busy debating the bombshell Todoroki dropped about Nedzu. He could have quickly checked Shinsou’s messages in the assignment group chat to get his chat name, but he decided not to do that in plain view of everyone else.

----

“Good morning, Class 1A! Get ready for some partner practice, ya dig?” Mic-sensei exclaimed.

Everyone perked up at the thought that they could partner with their friends.

“I’ll be picking your partner through the Wheel of Doo- I mean names!”

Any hope that they once had, was no longer there.

“Alright! Hit it, Wheel of Doom!” Mic-sensei danced along to the dreadful sound of the Wheel picking off names.

Izuku’s name hadn’t been picked yet, so he sat in his seat, anxiety radiating off of him as he hoped he got a good partner.

“Bakugo and Midoriya!”

Just. My. Luck.

“Sensei, lemme switch partners!” Kacchan yelled.

“Nah, the Wheel of Doom’s choices are final!” Mic-sensei said.

Fuck.

…

Recovery Girl must hate me by now , Izuku thought as he left the infirmary with a new bandage added to his collection. At least Kacchan got detention , he grinned.

----

Those who weren’t caught anxiously counted down the minutes until Nedzu would send the last question. 

To get rid of the tension, Iida suggested a game of hide and seek to their friend group. They were desperate for some sort of distraction, so they all readily agreed.

Izuku locked eyes with the rest of the Dekusquad -sans Iida. Unanimously, it was decided that Iida was going to be the seeker, unbeknownst to Iida, of course.

“You’re it, Iida!” Uraraka laughed as she and the rest of them ran in search of suitable hiding spots.

“What? I- fine… I will do my best to find you all!” Iida promised himself before he started counting down from sixty.

…

Izuku used a bit of One for All to get up on top of the refrigerator. He flattened himself against the top in order to fit under the mound of unopened blast-proof, acid-proof, and temperature resistant aprons Nedzu had to custom-order after a few-too-many incidents involving aprons and quirks.

He settled himself just as Iida finished counting.

The class rep looked around the kitchen and never once looked up until Nedzu decided to send his last question.

The audible ‘ping’ really screwed him over because Iida saw him after he heard the chime of the notification from above.

“I have found you, Midoriya!” Iida proudly proclaimed.

“Aw, c’mon Iida, that shouldn’t count because an outside force gave me away. Isn’t it unfair that Principal Nedzu’s question is what led you to finding me? You had outside help to find me, not intentionally, but it still counts as cheating,” Izuku begged.

“Well… I… uh… mm. I suppose you are right, Midoriya.” Iida’s face circled through a variety of emotions before settling on unsurety.

“Thanks for understanding, but we really should answer Principal Nedzu’s question now. I’ll see you later, we can continue our game then,” Izuku flashed Iida a smile.

“Of course. I wish you luck in not getting caught.”

“You too, Iida!”

Izuku jumped down from the refrigerator and walked to his room. Once he was sitting at his desk, he opened the assignment group chat.

Rat Overlord : What animal do you think I am?

Tricky as always, Nedzu.

Seahorse : I believe you are a mouse or a rat.

Monkey : ^ Same

German Shepherd : Rat.

Bird : a big mouse

Bat : A rat

Black Mamba : You are an eldritch being.

Fox : rat

Gorilla : A mouse.

White Tiger : God

Fox : that’s not an animal

White Tiger : I don’t care, it’s the only fitting answer

Izuku laughed at White Tiger and Todoroki’s exchange.

Dragon : That’s a trick question, right? 

You are a mouse, dog, and a bear, but the 

majority of your DNA makeup is from a stoat, isn’t it?

Rat Overlord : How intriguing! Right you are, Dragon!

Sleepy-Cat Sensei : nedzu, no.

Rat Overlord : Nedzu, yes.

Rat Overlord : Now, students, please input your answers into the voting form. 

Here is the link: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx the results will be posted tomorrow.

Dragon : Fox is Todoroki, German Shepherd is Iida,

Gorilla is Yaoyorozu, and Black Mamba is Tokoyami.

Monday is going to be weird , Izuku thought.

Chapter Text

Izuku sat, waiting, at his desk for the moment chaos ensued. Aizawa-sensei had told Class 1A that Nedzu had something planned for the end of the undercover assignment.

At precisely 8:05, less than two minutes after Aizawa-sensei slumped behind the podium after talking to the class, the PA system crackled on.

“Sorry for the interruption, Aizawa, but good morning, Class 1A! The votes from yesterday are in; if you all would please check your phones to see our final survivors,” Nedzu’s voice came from the intercom.

Izuku, along with the rest of the class, looked at the assignment group chat. The only notable thing was that the names of those caught had been changed.

“Congratulations to Seahorse, Monkey, Bird, Bat, White Tiger, and Dragon for surviving! Let’s give them a round of applause!”

The class handed out some half-hearted applause, all more than a little confused at what Nedzu is doing.

“Now, time for the reveal of the survivors!” Nedzu exclaimed.

What? Oh shit. Time to lie my way out of this…

The class erupted into clamour at the changed chat names. All of a sudden, the entire class’s eyes were on Izuku. He shrunk under their gazes, anxiety burned at his cheeks. His classmates swarmed around his desk and bombarded him with questions.

“Woah, Mido, you were Dragon?” Mina asked.

“Uh, yeah,” he nervously fidgeted with his crooked fingers.

“Man, I totally thought you were Monkey!” Kaminari laughed.

“How’d you do it? You didn’t act like yourself at all!” Uraraka questioned.

“Oh, I just tried to act like how I thought Aizawa-sensei would because he’s an underground hero, so these kinds of missions would be his specialty,” Izuku lied through his teeth.

Kacchan ‘tched’ in the background and Jirou’s lip quirked up a bit at his lie.

“That’s very smart, Midoriya. I must commend you for your brilliant thinking,” Iida complimented him.

“Ah, well, not really, anyone could have thought to do what I did,” Izuku waved off the praise.

“Could Midoriya Izuku come see me in my office please,” Nedzu’s voice cut through the chatter.

Fuck.

“Ooh, what did you do this time, Midoriya?” Kaminari teased him.

“Hopefully not something legally questionable again…” Todoroki muttered to himself. Jirou choked on her spit and covered it up with a cough.

“I…don’t know what I did.” Yes I do. “I better not keep Principal Nedzu waiting.”

“Yeah, probably not the best idea to do that, Midobro,” Kirishima awkwardly scratched the back of his head.

…

Izuku climbed up the stairs to the second floor of UA, Nedzu’s office was right in the middle of UA’s three floors. He continued down his path, the long hallway bare and silent with classes. Once he got to Nedzu’s office, he stood in front of the imposing door. Anxiety pulled at his fingers, commanded him to twist the crooked appendages. Izuku hyped himself up to knock on the door, but just before his knuckles could touch the door, it opened on its own. Izuku stood shellshocked in the doorway. A power move , his mind suggested.

“Hello, Midoriya. Please come in! Would you like some tea? It’s a lovely lavender blend,” Nedzu greeted him.

“Yes, please.” Izuku stepped into the office, noting that it was extremely pristine and there were four small high-backed chairs facing away from Izuku, two on each side of Nedzu’s desk. He sat down in a plush black chair in front of Nedzu’s tall desk, the edge met his mid-bicep. Another power move , his mind whispered. Nedzu passed him his tea in a pretty ornamental tea cup.

“I have milk, honey, and sugar. Please feel free to take what you like.”

Izuku put three sugar cubes into his tea, he liked his tea sweet.

“I’m sure you are either wondering why you are here or you have already figured it out,” Nedzu started.

Izuku nodded.

Nedzu’s beady black eyes gleamed. “Wonderful.”

He anxiously sipped at his tea.

“Tell me, why do you think you are here?” Nedzu clasped his paws together.

“I’m in trouble for borderline cheating on the undercover assignment,” Izuku answered.

“Nonsense! I left those loopholes in the rules on purpose. You are not in trouble, rather quite the opposite,” the chimera chuckled.

Izuku sat up straighter when he heard that he wasn’t in trouble.

“Then why am I here?”

“Would you like to be my personal student?” Nedzu dropped the gauntlet, invited him in to play his game.

Izuku’s eyes narrowed. “Why me? There are plenty of other students who are smarter, stronger, better than me.”

Nedzu laughed, “I don’t care for physical strength, I care for mental strength. Someone who knows how to use their knowledge to benefit themself. You.”

“Yaoyorozu is smarter than me,” Izuku pressed.

“She is merely book smart. She doesn’t have the kind of knowledge you have,” the principal tittered.

“What kind of knowledge do I have then? What makes me so special?”

“You have my kind of knowledge.”

Izuku’s breath hitched, hundreds of possible meanings ran through his head.

“You think like me. It isn’t every day I find someone who can match my intellect. You are one of three who can,” Nedzu explained.

“Who are the other two?” Izuku questioned.

“My dear former-students, Aizawa and Yamada! They were wonderful to nurture in their high school years!”

“Really? I can see Aizawa-sensei as your student, but Mic-sensei? He just doesn’t seem like the type to be freakishly smart,” Izuku pondered.

“Yamada does like it when he is underestimated, he says it gives him an advantage to have people feel like they can say anything around him. It’s no wonder how he manages to win the teachers’ classroom bingo competition every year,” Nedzu grinned.

“Classroom bingo?” Izuku raised an eyebrow.

“The teachers make a bingo game out of what they think will happen during the school year. Whoever gets a blackout first wins a prize all of the teachers pool into. I find it quite amusing to watch them throw in the most random things. This year, I heard that Thirteen added a box of worms on a string to the prize.”

“What kind of things get put on the bingo cards?” Sue him, he was curious!

“Hmm, it really depends, but a business course love triangle is normally one of the boxes first checked off. Other things added are fights, amount of times the hero course students defenestrate themselves, buildings destroyed, love letters, whether or not Togata will make it through the year without flashing somebody, stuff like that,” Nedzu rambled.

“That’s … interesting ,” he said.

“Now, don’t think I haven’t noticed that you haven’t answered my question yet. I have answered all of yours, it is only fair to answer mine.”

Fuck, I was trying to avoid that.

“Before that, answer one last question. What happens if I become your personal student?” Izuku moves his rook to check Nedzu’s king in their mental game of chess.

“You would still have classes with your classmates, but your curriculum will be designed by me after I have you take a test to determine your actual skill level in the subjects. You would also be able to learn any extracurricular subject you please during our daily meetings.” Nedzu moved his queen to check Izuku’s king.

Shit, he knows about my fudgeing of schoolwork.

“Ah, I almost forgot.” You can’t forget stuff even if you wanted to. “You would also be able to help me with my plans to change hero society.”

Now that’s something he wanted to do.

Nedzu checkmated his king.

“Fine, I’ll be your personal student,” Izuku caved.

“I knew you’d say yes!” Nedzu clapped.

“Why did you ask if you already knew the answer, damn rat?”

Nedzu’s eyes lit-up at the insult. “To see how you would play our little game.”

“Hah! You’re one tricky rat bastard.” Izuku pushed against the desk.

“You have quite a mouth on you,” Nedzu pointed out.

“There’s no point in trying to hide it; you already know I’m not like how I present myself to my classmates,” Izuku scowled.

“Fair enough.”

Izuku huffed. “What should I call you now that you’re my teacher? Principal Nedzu? Nedzu-sama? Nedzu-sensei?”

“Nedzu-sensei is fine,” Nedzu- sensei said. “Now, as the first order of business of being my personal student, I am indicting you into our plan to take down the HPSC.”

“‘Our’?” Izuku was confused.

“Yes, ‘our’ plan.” As if on cue, the four small high-backed chairs spun around to reveal all of Aizawa-sensei’s cats. From left to right: Cardboard, a burmese; Rat, a mini sphynx; Bastard, a fat gray persian; and Meowed Cloud, a russian blue with the ‘weirdly omniscient eyes’ that Todoroki was talking about on Friday.

“What…the… fuck ?” He gaped.

“These are my agents of chaos, they have been helping me gather evidence for taking down the HPSC,” Nedzu gestured to the cats.

“Todoroki was right! Cats do like world domination!” Izuku exclaimed.