Chapter Text
Ever since they were kids, it was just the four of them hanging out. Four scrawny kids running through the streets, causing chaos wherever they went. Life was simpler back then. Each one had their dream, their goal and to them, those were the second most important things after their friendship.
Impulse had his ambitions, his drive to prove that he can make it. Prove that he can be great, that he can be the one to rely on. He wanted to be a soldier to serve his country. To protect his friends. It's why he took the offer for an apprenticeship in the Autumn court, rather than staying in Spring. He left to "find a cure", but they all know what it meant. H̶e̶ ̶r̶a̶n̶ ̶a̶w̶a̶y̶ ̶l̶i̶k̶e̶ ̶a̶ ̶c̶o̶w̶a̶r̶d̶.
Cleo was always so strong and so calm. Whenever there was a problem, she would assure them it's not that big. There wasn't a problem too difficult to solve, too hard to beat. She was a natural leader, kind, firm and intelligent. They promised they would follow her wherever she decided to go. Even when "wherever" turned out to be the castle. ̶F̶a̶t̶e̶ ̶h̶a̶d̶ ̶n̶e̶v̶e̶r̶ ̶s̶e̶e̶m̶e̶d̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶f̶a̶v̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶m̶.
Tango had his thirst for knowledge. He spent evenings listening to stories and legends that were told in the tavern. He would drag them to the port, just to hear sailors talk about other countries. Becoming a librarian had been an easy choice for him. Unrestricted access to one of the biggest libraries in the world had been a dream of his for a while. ̶T̶o̶o̶ ̶b̶a̶d̶ ̶n̶o̶n̶e̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶i̶n̶f̶o̶r̶m̶a̶t̶i̶o̶n̶ ̶ever helped them.
And Bdubs... Bdubs was just himself.
Of the four of them, he was really no one special. Just a guy, a little man trying to survive with his friends. They said he was their heart and soul. Always seeing the bright side. But he knew they were just being nice. Impulse was determined, Cleo was strong, Tango was smart and Bdubs was… He couldn't say loyal, because they all were loyal to each other. He wanted to feel special, like he had a purpose in their group. Maybe that's why he was always taking things too hard, why he always worried, why he always asked how they were doing. ̶I̶f̶ ̶o̶n̶l̶y̶ ̶s̶o̶m̶e̶o̶n̶e̶ ̶h̶a̶d̶ ̶a̶s̶k̶e̶d̶ ̶h̶i̶m̶.̶
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It started as a joke.
Their biggest worry, as they grew up, was where to get employed. They shared a small house near the wall, far away from richer districts. Impulse, returning that day from his work at the stables, had seen a poster for a beauty contest. He told Bdubs and originally, they wanted to sign up Tango, but sadly they only asked for girls. So they jokingly put down Cleo's name and ran back home.
She wasn't happy with them, no, but she attended anyway. What if it could help them find employment? Or a business partner? Tango had an idea to start their own shop, but they needed investors. They went with her, ready to cheer from the seats, as each and every girl in attendance introduced herself. Except that day, the standard judges were not present. Instead, the queen herself was judging the competition and Cleo's charming personality had made her smile. So she invited Cleo to become a court lady and be a companion to either her - queen Niki or to her protector Puffy.
It felt like fate, receiving an invite to live in the castle. They were hesitant at first, but when Cleo agreed, they had no choice. Because wherever Cleo went, they went as well.
---
It was a cause for celebration. Their house never felt like home, but the servant quarters started to look like one. Not that they had a chance to use it for so long. Despite them all being permitted to be Cleo's personal servants, so they could live with her, they all still wished for something more. And then, they finally got another chance.
When the royal librarian complained to the queen about having to handle the whole library alone, Cleo mentioned that her friend loves literature. With a recommendation, Tango was permitted to start work in a test period. And Tango, eager to get his hands on new knowledge, impressed the librarian enough to become his assistant. That's how he became an archivist. If he were to stay in this position for a few years, maybe he could be promoted to a royal librarian.
The next event also wasn't a coincidence. Cleo overheard a captain complain that he couldn’t get enough recruits for the palace guard. All she had to do was mention she knew two guys who had experience protecting others (Even if said others were just their group, it wasn't technically a lie). Next step was to tell Impulse and Bdubs to express interest to the captain by reaching out to him first. Bdubs was not excited, but it was better than cleaning hallways or rooms. And that's how they became soldiers.
It honestly wasn't so bad.
Training and wrestling every day with Impulse was enjoyable. Besides, sometimes in the courtyard, they were able to see Cleo on an errand and say hi. And if they were lucky, Tango would sneak into the barracks with a stolen book and he would read them stories. Another thing they often did was sneaking into the royal wing to meet up with Cleo.
Truth be told, if they asked the Queen, she would have probably said yes, but where was the fun in that? All in all, life in court was great.
Which is why they shouldn't have been so surprised when it all came crashing down.
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The Queen's health wavered with each passing season and it was clear she would soon need to step down. The court held their breaths as they waited for the throne to choose the successor. And oh, it chose...
Cleo. Cleo was going to be the next Spring Queen.
The news shattered them. Cleo was more silent and withdrawn. Tango had barely left the library, believing he could find a way to fix this. Impulse started training harder, signing himself up for more missions, hoping to find what Tango couldn't.
Bdubs himself had spent a few days in tears. But he needed to be strong. If not for himself, then for Cleo. If Impulse was their protector and Tango their investigator, then Bdubs must be their hope.
If the stupid throne thought it could take away their friend without fighout, they would just have to prove it wrong. After all, defying expectations was their speciality.
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He couldn't believe it.
Cleo chose him as their protector. Him.
He had expected them to ask Tango, or for Tango to offer his services first. Even the court expressed their preference of choosing Tango over Bdubs. He knew that Tango was simply used to lying, to pretending to agree when he doesn't. Tango warned him and Cleo about the dangers of revealing their connection. And though Bdubs could lie as well… he couldn’t lie about this. Not about how much he cared for Cleo.
The nobles had concerns. A peasant becoming the protector? Has he any experience? Is he in love with the crown Queen? It was actually quite common in history to choose a protector from the peasant class.Yes, he was training in the royal guard. No, they are just best friends.
The questioning would have continued further had Tango not stopped it. He looked angry in the most Tango way possible, and he not-quite-yelled at the court about etiquette and rules. Questioning protectors and their intentions was legal but in the end, only the monarchs themselves could appoint a protector, with or without the approval of their court. Bdubs was glad he was on their side. Honestly, Tango would have made a great protector. It was expected he would be chosen, that's why Cleo went to talk to him first. He shouldn't have been so disappointed, it was logical he wouldn't have been selected. But when Cleo descended from the balcony, she didn't start the celebration, instead she'd asked him if he would become her protector. Him. Bdubs. He was so incredibly happy, not only because it meant they trusted him with their life, but because Cleo had made sure they couldn’t be separated any further.
Perhaps it was a hidden talent, but after Bdubs officially became Cleo's protector, he discovered that he was exceptionally skilled in acting. He smiled widely, politely greeted guests and dignitaries alike, and most of all, gained information by watching and listening to those around him. He never stopped smiling, never stopped hoping. And finally, after many months, an opportunity presented itself.
---
This year, Bdubs is the last protector to perform the ritual for the first time.
He was there when they comforted Scott after he killed Jimmy. He listened to the untold horrors of the seasons changing. To the silent "I've never wanted this life for him," that echoed. Bdubs listened to a man mourning his lover and swore that Cleo would not meet the same fate.
He was there when Martyn killed his king. He saw Impulse in the corner, avoiding eye contact. He watched them load the body into a coffin, not to be disturbed until the next season. He saw the army of reds mourn a friend and swore to change Cleo's fate no matter the cost he will have to pay.
And lastly, he was there when Grian broke down. Because despite them being enemies, Scar trusted him so much that he allowed Grian to take his life. He watched as Scott comforted Grian and admitted that the duty of protector might be hard at first, but eventually, it would get easier. And yet, Bdubs saw an enemy-turned-ally grieve for his king and he knew he had to save her.
He sees, he hears and most importantly he feels. So when it's supposed to be his turn to serve the crown… he chooses to serve Cleo before serving his queen. He slowly leads her away before he grabs her wrist and tails it.
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Bdubs was always there for Cleo, when she needed him. Which is why he was there , when he woke from the red haze that enveloped his mind. Which is why he was there , where he opened his eyes and saw Cleo's shocked face. Because he was there , holding the sword that stabbed through her heart. He was there , watching her eyes close as life left her body and she fell to the ground.
Bdubs was there , and yet the only thing left to do was scream in anguish.