Chapter Text
She’s been gone for a few weeks now. All things considered, I’d say I’ve been handling it pretty well.
It took a while for Kozakura to let me in. It was late in the afternoon, but it looked like she had just gotten out of bed. I could never get a read on her sleeping habits.
“…Sorry if I woke you.”
I could tell she didn’t appreciate me saying that, but she was either in a good mood or just too tired to chastise me. Either way, I was more than happy to avoid her usual scolding, and sat patiently while she prepared some tea.
She stifled a yawn as she handed it to me.
“I haven’t seen you in a while, Sorawo.”
“Yeah, it’s been a bit hectic at the university lately. Lots of work.”
She squinted at me.
“What? I’m serious, I’m drowning in homework.”
“…No, I believe you.”
…Okay? She didn’t sound too pleased about that.
The conversation was a non-starter, and so we sat in uncomfortable silence for a bit. I took a sip of tea, and immediately regretted it when I heard how loud the sound I made was. Kozakura must have noticed, since she mercifully broke the silence.
“So. What brings you here?”
“Oh, right. I was out in the Otherside today and found something I thought you’d be interested in.”
I put down the teacup, grabbed my bag, and gingerly pulled out a CD. It had no hole, and when it caught the light from the ceiling, it reflected a deep blue light on the living room wall. Kozakura winced a bit.
“My bad, I had it wrapped up, it must have fallen out in the bag.”
I grasped around the bottom of the bag looking for the cloth I had wrapped it in while I kept talking.
“...I’m not actually sure if it’s worth anything, but it also made me realize I never asked if you’re still interested in artifacts after… you know. So… I figured I’d ask.”
I left the wrapped up disc on the table and went back to the tea. It was already cooling down.
Kozakura sighed.
“To say I have mixed feelings about you messing around over there after what happened would be an understatement, but I know better than to think I could stop you at this point. Consider our deal unchanged.”
She looks so tired. Did she lose weight?..
“I don’t have the money to pay you right now, but you can leave that… thing here, and I’ll let you know when you can pick up the cash. That okay with you?”
“Works for me!”
Frankly, I wasn’t looking forward to lugging it around in the event that she didn’t want to buy it, so I was already happy enough to be rid of it - the money was just a cherry on top. I broke into a smile as I polished off the tea. I got a weird look from Kozakura for that.
“Right then, I’ll get going. I’m sure you’re busy, too. Thanks for the tea.”
I was halfway out the door when I felt a tug on my bag.
“Wait.”
I turned to look at her. She looked conflicted.
“Sorawo, uhh…”
Huh?
“…are you doing okay?”
“Oh.”
I stopped to think for a moment.
“Well, like I said, university’s been a bit tough lately. I haven’t had a lot of time for the Otherside, and it’s been weirdly… sparse the last few trips.”
In fact, I hadn’t seen any phenomena for about two weeks at this point. I was lucky I found anything at all.
“So… yeah. Life’s been pretty boring lately.”
“…. Boring ?”
She’s squinting at me again. What gives?
“Yeah?”
I responded to her squinting with a quizzical look.
“You’re… not looking for her?”
I blinked.
“She’s dead, isn’t she?”
There was something I couldn’t quite figure out in the look Kozakura gave me.
In the few months I’ve known her, I’ve seen her laugh, I’ve seen her scowl, I’ve seen her face caved in from fear. She would look solemn while talking about Satsuki, and serious while warning me about the Otherside. At times, she would take issue with something I said or did, and she would flaunt her irritated expression like she wanted to make sure I knew what she thought of me.
I don’t know what this look was meant to be.
“…Kozakura?”
She didn’t answer, and her expression didn’t budge. She was holding her breath, and if I didn’t know any better, I could have sworn she was about to cry.
I wasn’t sure what to do, and I felt like the situation would take a turn for the worse if I opened my mouth, so we ended up awkwardly staring at each other for a while.
Was it something I said? Probably?
Eventually, Kozakura took a deep breath, and blinked.
“…I see.”
…Huh?
I don’t think I could have found the words needed to get her to explain what just happened if I wanted to.
“Uh… right. Well. See you later, Kozakura.”
She held a hand over her eyes. I’m pretty sure I heard her mutter a meek “See you”, so I turned around and started walking.
I guess she was pretty shaken up about it. She must have been closer to Toriko than I thought. I made a mental note to get her something next time I came over.
I was planning to head home, so I was more than a little confused when I ended up in front of an izakaya. I blinked and realized I was blocking the entrance for a customer on his way out, and awkwardly shuffled out of the way while muttering an apology.
Crap. I think my voice cracked.
After taking a second to nurse my ego, I remembered I hadn’t eaten anything today.
Well… since I’m here, I might as well.
I made my way in, hoping desperately no one inside saw that pathetic little interaction. The word afterparty threatened to sneak its way into my brain.
The bar had a nice buzz to it, but somehow still felt incredibly silent. I had ordered something and was nervously waiting for my meal.
Nervously?
I’m not sure if it’s because I was so hungry, but the wait for my food was killing me. I couldn’t help but keep checking my phone, and kept getting more and more annoyed by how slow the clock was moving. Was I always this impatient? I usually didn’t even realize I had been waiting until after the food hit the table. The sounds my stomach was making made me reevaluate my assumption that I hadn’t eaten today . Suddenly I couldn’t remember the last time I had a meal.
I took a quick look around, hoping I would see my waiter bringing my food. My eyes narrowly avoided the seat in front of me.
Lots of couples here today. For some reason that really pissed me off.
The food arrived just as my mood was about to go down the drain. By now I was so hungry I could barely even recognize what it was I ordered, so I dug in. It tasted vaguely of pork, and as I scarfed down the food, I felt bitter at the fact I was too tired to complain about the flavor. I washed it down with a cold beer. It didn’t taste much better.
About halfway through my meal, I slowed down a little.
Tomorrow was a weekend, so I could take my time in the Otherside. I checked my wallet and realized I had a lot more money than usual. I wasn’t really focused on saving, so I was a bit taken aback, but I wasn’t going to complain about having too much money. If anything, it meant I had more money to spend on equipment. And with better equipment, I could find more artifacts to sell. I spun my wheels for a bit thinking of what I’d buy with the money I’d be making, but couldn’t really think of much.
Please stop looking at me like that. I winced at nothing in particular.
I had a lot of assignments to catch up on for my classes, too. I did some mental math on how much time I would have to spend this weekend on my studies to get back in the swing of things, and the results didn’t make me very happy. I found myself getting irritated at my own track record. If I had taken my classes less seriously from the start, I wouldn’t have to worry about my professors calling me out for falling behind. Thinking of all the talks I’d have to suffer through made me a lot less enthusiastic about the idea of getting a degree. The fact I was done with my food and still felt hungry did nothing to soothe my mental state.
I checked my phone. The wait for the food felt like an eternity, but the meal itself went by much quicker than the clock suggested. I let out a deep sigh.
Time to go home.
I took one final angry swig of the tasteless beer, trying my best to pretend I didn’t see the mind-shatteringly gorgeous blonde-haired apparition glaring at me from the seat opposite of mine. As I got up to leave, I wondered how long I could keep convincing myself she wasn’t there, and whether or not I ended up finishing my homework last night.
As the cold, evening air engulfed me on my way home, I found myself crying, but I couldn’t say why.