Chapter Text
KAKAVASHA ——————
Age: 24
Height: 168.5 cm
Weight: 83.4 kg
Constitution: Unknown
Fog covers the view of the Interastral Hospital windows. Wind blows heavily, carrying flakes of snow so harsh that it burns the eyes. The coldness grazes even the toughest of skin. Today is a rough start for the infamous Dr. Ratio. He’s got the patient’s papers in hand, but at this rate, they might blow away with the harsh wind.
Symptoms… Anemia… Signs of severe depression… What do they mean by ‘signs?’ That doesn’t sound presumptive. You should know when a person has severe depression, not--
“Thank you so much for coming, doctor.” The woman, presumably the last doctor who took care of the patient, desperately tries to keep up with the doctor as they enter the building. She sweats, “I apologize for k--”
“No, no.” Ratio immediately stops her sentence, looking disappointed. She jolts and stops her tracks. “I’m here to treat a patient. Drop the farces, please.”
He ends up leaving the woman behind, speechless. Looking at the papers, his room should be somewhere around 777B. It’s a lucky number to have, so Ratio is curious. Whoever this patient is must be a precarious one. It is said that this patient has a behavior issue or whatnot and they need a different doctor to be his caretaker. Incompetent, all of them. If none of them are willing to take on this patient, they have already failed in Dr. Ratio’s book. No matter how difficult they are to care for, they should not have failed this young man.
Kakavasha… They’re an adult with no living relatives to care for them. I must carefully examine them first, but that depends if they let me.
Dr. Ratio is an infamous doctor who is known to be beyond ordinary humans’ comprehension. He possesses knowledge throughout the cosmos and even criticizes those who agree with his remarks because whenever someone agrees with him, he feels as if he’s wrong. Indeed, just as the patient, he too is unordinary.
“... This is the room.” He says as he views the room plate number by the right. It’s an Intensive Care Unit Patient room. As carefully as possible, he opens the door with a slide. “Please excuse me.”
“... Oh?”
… It’s a bright, yet quiet room. The blinds are open wide and the whiteness of the snow brightens the entire room. It’s no longer windy outside. In front of the doctor is… indeed, the patient. The patient is staring right back at him, through the soul of his eyes. There’s no light in his eyes, but surrounding him is all light. His blond hair lightens to a vivid shade.
“Are you my new doctor?” An unsettling smile smears on the patient’s face. “Haha, well… I understand why they want someone else to look after me.”
“... Hello, Kakavasha.” The doctor bows politely. “My name is Dr. Veritas Ratio. I’ll be taking care of you from now on.”
“Likewise.” The patient sounds awfully polite. It’s as if he’s the doctor’s new business partner or something. “So, what do you do as a doctor? I heard you’re famous. How famous would you say? Are you a traveling doctor? How many patients have you seen?”
Already, Ratio was bombarded with questions from the blond. He could immediately tell that the patient is trying to change subjects, for whatever reason. Sitting down, Ratio examines some of the information on the computer. That wasn’t fun. Removing his smile, he lays back down on the hospital bed, viewing the scenery outside. There’s a tree looking as bare as the rest. The only difference between that tree compared to the rest is that it still has 11 persimmons hanging on its branches.
The look of that tree looks kind of similar to him.
“... I’m not famous. I’m just a doctor.” Surprisingly, Ratio decides to answer the blond’s questions. He’s serious this time and he doesn’t show tiredness on his face. “That title was sewn onto my name without my permission. That’s all.”
“Oh, so you’re a humble man, huh?” The blond chuckles. “Is it because of the amount of patients you’ve cured that you’ve gained such a title? Or is it because you’re all over the place?”
Ratio shakes his head. “I’m not a traveling doctor. It is because there are too many dimwits working in hospitals, so I come over.”
The blond blinks, surprised. “Quite honest, are you?”
“It’s the truth.”
Now it was the patient’s turn to be baffled. He lays down softly, gazing at the pouring snow outside. As they conversed, Ratio secretly took notes regarding Kakavasha’s behavior. For one, he keeps calling his doctor a friend. In fact, he calls everyone in the hospital his friend. Some patients living next to him can testify. Second of all, he shows signs of fatigue. Ratio knows that his constitution is still unknown, which is why they asked him to help the patient. Kakavasha is ill and his disease is yet to be found. They’ve noted that he has a slow heartbeat, so his disease might relate to such a thing.
And third of all, Ratio can tell that this man lies as easily as he breathes. He’s been lying through his teeth the moment he arrived.
“Hahaha, you don’t seem to be living an interesting life at all, doctor.” The blond once again laughs. It feels fake. “You should go out and get yourself a drink once you’re done with me.”
“Don’t joke around, Kakavasha.” For the first time, Ratio sighs in front of him. That wasn’t supposed to happen. “I don’t have the time, nor do I want to. I’m going to be here until I know you’re better.”
And Kakavasha grins ever so slyly. He finally got through the doctor’s skin, after conversing for about an hour and watching him write to himself. “So kind.”
He knows that I’m writing about his behaviors. He’s on edge. He knows that this isn’t a conversation anymore.
Kakavasha is not psychic, so he can’t tell what the doctor is writing about him. Of course, his self-esteem is bad, so he can only assume he’s writing the worst. His annoying qualities, his cynical behavior… Since Ratio is so smart, he can tell just who exactly Kakavasha is under his mask. This entire time, after all, he’s been leading the blond into conversation topics in order for him to lower his guard. This time, the blond stops talking. He’s fretting and he does not feel motivated to keep conversing with his new friend anymore.
Noticing this, Ratio stays silent and observes for a while. He notices that he keeps staring off into the distance, anxiously viewing the tree. The snow and ice freeze the window over, but fogs and patches are evident. This young man must really like viewing the outside world. Well, that’s not new. Most patients that are disabled yearn to be discharged and explore the outside world all over again. Again, there is no light in Kakavasha’s eyes. He isn’t particularly fascinated with the snow, is he?
Yet, Ratio asks him. “You don’t perhaps find snow fascinating, do you?”
Blinking once, the blond turns his head back towards the doctor. “... I do. I loved playing in the snow with my older sister. Making snowmen, snow angels, snowball fighting… The whole winter wonderland shenanigans… I loved them all, as long as my sister followed along.”
“Uh huh.” Ratio simply puffs out, dropping his pen and paper. He’s listening this time.
“My sister is gone now.” Kakavasha nods with a heavy sigh, keeping his gaze towards the window. “I’ve had a semi-grown up outlook on snow nowadays. Fundamentally speaking, snow isn’t really all that different from rain. People just favor snow because it’s prettier.”
… Huh.
Interested, Ratio smirks as he closes in more, moving his seat forward. “ This is how you see it? Interesting. Do tell me more.”
“Hehe,” the blond crosses his arms. “Well, I was blessed by Giathra Triclops, which is a belief my family had. Rain is what brought me into this sad world. When it snows, people lavish praise and when it rains… The reaction is mixed. They hate the storms rain produces, but doctor, was it not snow storming before you came here?”
The doctor smirks. It looks like this patient is quite the analogy specialist. He’s got a brain in tact, that’s for sure.
“All I’m saying is that it’s kind of unreasonable when others can’t differentiate between two of the elements. Essentially, snow and rain are the same. But fate is arbitrary.”
“... You have an interesting outlook on life, Kakavasha.”
“Oh, really? I thought it was because of this outlook that they went to find a different doctor to handle me.”
Ratio realized quicker than expected that Kakavasha is someone who is incredibly emotionally smart. Book smarts, not exactly. But the blond can strategically pick out someone’s emotions and use them to his advantage. The skill is useful, for sure. As for Kakavasha, he was incredibly entertained to learn that Ratio is also a teacher for a university. Apparently, Kakavasha never went to school and only started working as soon as his sister died. Ratio learned that they were caught up in a disaster from their homeland. This could explain why Kakavasha had lost the light in his eyes, but…
The blond is laughing at Ratio’s remarks. He’s smiling sincerely this time, but… Now isn’t the time to be chatting, Ratio thought. He needs to settle what he came here to do once and for all. He’ll be in this hospital for quite a while.
“Kakavasha.” He calls out his name.
And the blond stops laughing and answers, “Yes?”
“Today, I was tasked to examine you. Your body, your senses and basic controls.” He tells the young man, who’s smile fades. “You have the right to consent or not. You do not have to worry. We are only examining your diet, what you’ll need to resist your disease and your abilities so far. This test is only done so we can monitor the progression or worsening of neurologic disease processes.”
“...”
“If you do not consent, this test will be skipped. It’s understandable, as we will ask you to strip at some point. I looked into your age. 24 years old… I’m a few years older than you, but I’m still around the same age. If you do not feel comfortable, we can ask someone else to come in.”
As I thought, he’s insecure. Playing with fingers, sudden displays of jitteriness…
“... Sigh.” The blond looks down. But ultimately, he looks up with conviction in his words. “... I’m fine. Go ahead.”
“...”
Unprecedented. It worked. Was it the conversations they had beforehand? Did he win over his trust? Saying that in his head, Ratio found himself in a predicament. It’s not like he wanted to take advantage of those conversations, but that was the goal originally. He wants to ask if he’s sure. If he’s so sure that he consents. But the doctor should take this opportunity with conviction. According to the previous doctors, it’s been a long time since his last checkup and he’s been refusing recently. The fact that Kakavasha finally agreed is a huge thing.
Is this how it feels to be left alone in a room with Kakavasha? The feeling of being unsettled? He was laughing so sincerely a few seconds ago. But now, Ratio feels stumped. He doesn’t want to make the blond feel as if he was talking to him fondly just so he could take the test. Scratch that-- he’s trying to convince himself that he isn’t acting only for it to be over once the test is done.
Nonetheless, he has to take the chance. “... You will need to change into a gown. I will be outside while you change so you’ll need to let me know when I can come back inside. Again, it’s for convenience so that you can take it off easily. Is that alright with you?”
From Ratio’s view, it almost seems like the blond is looking down at him. “Are you going to attack me? Because from the sounds of it, you kind of make it seem like you’re going to do something to me.”
“Of course not, no. Never.” An unfortunate comeback. Ratio feels horrible already, if not, offended that Kakavasha would say such a thing. Ratio’s tone immediately allowed the blond to take all of that back.
“I’m joking, sir.” He smiles again, so eerily. “The thing you placed beside my bed is my gown. You can head outside.”
.
.
.
Most interestingly, Kakavasha was mostly quiet the entire time he let Ratio examine him. The test did not take super long, only around 44+ minutes or so. They had to monitor Kakavasha’s condition, therefore they took several tests. Ear test, eye test, senses, peripheral vision, Ratio’s tested him on all of them. He asked him to hold still and he obeyed. He has checked his tear glands and nasal paths. The blond has a few issues here and there which has pinpointed the condition Ratio believes he has. He praised Kakavasha during the tests and he would always swoon in an annoying way.
And… finally, Ratio checked some parts of his body. He noticed a few scars and bruises on his skin. They’ve mostly faded away, but a doctor can never miss such things. He asked Kakavasha to keep some water in his mouth as he touched around his neck. When he asked Kakavasha to swallow, he barely could. He spat most of it out. Perhaps the reason why he looked so malnourished before he was admitted to the hospital was because he could barely use his throat.
He’s noticed he has breathing problems. As he touched his back, he could feel Kakavasha’s anxiety. A black and cloudy aura radiates around his head. Ratio tells him to relax, but to no avail. This patient, without a doubt, is extremely insecure about his body.
Ratio does a few last minute write-ups. He has a lot to say, but ultimately, he should keep this information to himself for now. He’s Kakavasha’s new doctor and with the combined information from his last doctor, he can figure things out. He’s in charge of him from now on. He will be looking after him until… well… until he passes.
But he won’t let that happen. Ever.
“Thank you, Kakavasha. You can dress yourself back up now.” Ratio says, adjusting his coat and picking up his clipboard.
The silence was over. Kakavasha carefully stands up from his bed and unties his gown from the back. The smile is back, after refraining for what felt like hours. “Thanks for treating me, doctor.”
Ratio leaves the room, sighing as he closes the door. He looks back at a few of the notes he made. After all this time, he finally pinpoints the disease Kakavasha has. How could these simpletons at the Interastral Hospital call themselves doctors? Well, of course. Not a lot of people understand Kakavasha’s disease, as it is not common in youngsters. The blond is only 24 and Ratio is only a few years older. He shouldn’t have to bear this disease.
My only concern is that the disease seems to be flaring up. It might be getting worse. But how? It shouldn’t have flared up unless he had--
“Oh, sir…”
Ratio can never seem to finish his thoughts. He looks to his side and it’s the same woman from earlier. It’s Kakavasha’s old doctor. She takes out a few more of Kakavasha’s information that she had, to which she should’ve handed them over the moment she saw Ratio. There’s no need to help him, since he can do it himself. She blubbers a few things that Ratio couldn’t be bothered to respond to.
She stutters, “S-so… How was he?”
“... He’s not an ideal student, for sure.” Ratio admits. “But he has interesting things to say. Unlike the many bores of this world, he seems to understand what it means to be a human living in a world full of ordinaries. It’s no wonder you can’t keep up with him.”
“Oh… Is that so?” Looks like weirdos only attract weirdos.
“That young man isn’t like other people. He never says anything I expect. Quite a thrill.” Surprisingly, Ratio smirks. What a look. The woman almost falls and swoons, but she remains calm.
“Ahem! Ah… If you favor him so much, then I trust that I can leave him to you?” She hands him over everything, even a hard drive. “I shall take my leave. Thank you again, Dr. Ratio.”
With a turn of her heel, she silently leaves. Ratio takes a good look at her documents, left in his hand. His head lowers down and his back flattens on the door. A hefty sigh leaves his mouth as he skims through them. Most of the information is just things he already tested Kakavasha on. Physical demonstration, hygiene, x-rays… But there was one document Ratio was interested in finding.
… Where is it…
Ah. There it is.
Kakavasha’s name origin, profile, hair color, eye color and most importantly… His background.
In order to learn who he is, I must read this document.
[The document lists as follows: Kakavasha comes from a ruined city that is currently still under fire. He had a mother, father and an older sister. The family and their people worshiped Giathra Triclops, the God of Fertility. All family members had unique eyes colored with orchid, periwinkle and arctic blue. The father died from quicksand before Kakavasha was born. His mother died from the calamity that their ruined city faced as well as his sister. He was 12 years old.]
…!
There it is.
[Kakavasha, long after his sister was killed, was trafficked. He was a victim of human trafficking for 7 years until he turned 19. Records say that he killed his traffickers and was charged, but not sentenced. The case and his actions were listed as “self-defense.” The following years, Kakavasha worked as a businessman until he collapsed at work, ill. He was admitted into the hospital during the summer of June 22, XXXX. He officially moved into the Interastral Hospital as of December 3, XXXX.]
… I see now.
Perhaps bringing up his sister in front of me was a good thing. Showing vulnerability? I wouldn’t think so. Knowing that young man, he would’ve punted me if he had the chance. He chose to share that information with me on purpose.
I wouldn’t necessarily say that I’m a trustworthy person in his eyes. So why…
…
Additional notes are below the endless paragraphs. It shows some of Kakavasha’s wounds. Opened wide with smearing salt.
[It lists as follows: Old wounds were found on Kakavasha’s body. Kakavasha did not treat these wounds until recently. His last records visiting the hospital were reported to be around July 1, XXXX. Purple, dark blue spots nearly faded away. Torn skin and unwashed blood were found around areas by the legs and surgery was a must. Surgery took place on December 12, XXXX. Wounds have been found to be around 5 years old, immediate treatment was required. Scars scratched on his nape were treated and cured as of December 20, XXXX. Neck is stable. Therapy was enlisted, however, needs more professional help as of January 1, XXXX. Kakavasha suffers from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, determined by Dr. Blanca of the Interastral Hospital.]
……
[NOTE: Send only women or young men when conversing with the patient. Scars are evident below the end of the tibiotalar joint. Torn skin is located at the same place--]
His vision blurred. Ratio stopped reading. The rest of the information described the obvious. He shouldn’t look anymore. Not because of privacy or decency, but because there is simply nothing more worth reading. You should trust him. He’s a smart man.
“Woah!” A familiar voice trailed behind him. He almost stumbles as the door slides open. “... You should watch out, doctor. That’s a safety hazard!”
He’s surprised that the blond can laugh after what he’s been through. Tumbling backwards, he happily gets back on his bed as the doctor sits down across from him. His name plate is etched out in gold behind the board of his hospital bed. Ratio never noticed, but Kakavasha seems to like elements of gold a lot. In his normal clothes, his pajamas, his jewelry and even his hair. Gold, luscious locks of hair, but the color is fading… It fades into a paler shade of blond.
Ratio puts his pen down. He can’t write a single thing as Kakavasha continues to chat about. He’s lost in thought. Upon noticing this, the blond finally stops talking. He stays quiet again, just as he did while being examined. His gaze is fixated outside the window, as always. A few persimmons have fallen off the tree.
“Are you going to attack me? Because from the sounds of it, you kind of make it seem like you’re going to do something to me.”
Ratio couldn't stop thinking about Kakavasha’s words before they took the examination. Now that he knows his origins, an even deeper and darker feeling is carved into Ratio’s heart. He hasn’t felt this way in a long time. The only time he’s felt this feeling was when he lost his patients. When he failed them.
Ratio shouldn’t apologize because he knows that Kakavasha knows already. The blond is aware that all doctors must be informed on his background. At least, the ones that take care of him should be informed. It’s probably why he feels so distant now. There’s a chasm between Ratio and himself.
“... Kakavasha.” Ratio stands up. He never noticed how tiny the blond was compared to him until now. “You will be back on your feet soon. Your progress is a C, at best. I will make sure you improve.”
“... Huh.” He solemnly answers that time. His gaze is still at the window.
Ratio’s eyes widened. From his view, the light from the snow outside shines brighter than the lights outside the room. Kakavasha here looks so… weak. Pale. Devoid of hope. There’s a nauseating mix of sweet florals and parchment paper stained with metallics in the air. Right now, at this very moment, the blond is at his most vulnerable. The snow falls ever so gently… And so do his words.
Ratio tries hard. He tries to get a word in. “... Make sure to eat and move around at several intervals at a time. You will get better soon.”
But he’s silent. He’s lying completely still, his head facing outside the huge window. Light surrounds him everywhere but his eyes.
Until he spoke up.
“I’m going to die, doctor.”
…
That demeanor he had for a bit is gone.
…… Sigh.
“I can tell.” Unenthusiastically, the blond smiles meekly. His facial expressions can’t differentiate what is real and what is a joke. “I can’t be saved. There’s no hope for me.”
“... You give up so easily. Is that who you are?” Ratio can never expect anything from this one. He’s always rounding up the punches. “There’s no harm in trying, Kakavasha.”
“... Ah.”
A persimmon, crisp and orange, fell off the tree again. There’s only 6 persimmons left. Before, there were 11.
“Another one fell.” The blond exhales a small laugh. You can barely hear it. “Once all of those persimmons fall off that tree…”
“ Kakavasha. ”
“I’ll probably die too.”
The wind blows silently and the snow falls as gently as ever. Another one falls. Kakavasha calls it out. There’s only 5 persimmons dangling on that bare and dying tree. The smile doesn’t waver. Not even a shaky line. His pale blond hair weighs his head down on the soft pillow. His ears start to feel heat building up from his neck.
“... Haha, another o--”
Ratio gets up and shuts the blinds together, closing the curtains tight. The view outside can no longer be seen. You can see a crack on his hand. Adjusting his glasses, he declares,
“ Enough of that nonsense.” He looks back at Kakavasha with disdain. An eerie and creepy smile smudges on his face. Ratio can only click his tongue. “Refrain from saying such things ever again.”
“... Nervous, doc? I should be the nervous one here.” The blond closes his eyes, burying his arms and hands under the blanket.
“ I’m going to make sure you get better.”
“...” The blond looks up. He’s expressionless.
“ No matter what .” Ratio sternly declares. “So don’t look at those anymore.”
With a huff, Ratio promptly excuses himself from the blond’s room and takes all of the documents with him. Faint red flushes from Kakavasha’s cheeks. He can’t lift his head up, so instead, he turns towards the doctor with his eyes. Something inside him wants to tell him, “I’ll be counting on you.” But his throat refuses to cooperate. That cannot be said so easily.
.
.
.
“... Hasn’t Ratio been talking with that patient for over 4 hours?”
“Yeah, but that’s his patient. Don’t judge him!”
“I-I’m not! It’s just… that patient has been requesting him more often recently. I thought he’d want to be alone. Not a lot of adults always ask for their doctor as a conversation partner, right?”
“Maybe you’re just too inexperienced to handle such patients, Dr. Blanca. Look at Dr. Ratio. He’s got him by the hand since day 1 of meeting him! And what is it, day 20 or more? It’s been a month and they’re already friends!”
“W-well, I just thought… Uh, nevermind. I suppose it was the best option to summon Dr. Veritas Ratio to our hospital.”
A month has passed. Nothing special has happened between Ratio and Kakavasha. It just so happens that Kakavasha loves to talk to Ratio. Lucky for Ratio, he loves to listen to him as well. Ratio also makes a note that Kakavasha might have undiagnosed ADHD and that he’ll have to add that to his personal documents. The prestigious doctor has been sternly working on progressing Kakavasha’s health.
It’s unfortunate. Ratio remembered the blond’s documents noting that he has severe depression. He’s been working on trying to get Kakavasha to look away from the tree. Maybe even cutting it down. But it might worsen Kakavasha’s mindset. No matter what, he was going to help this young man feel better. He’s way too young to be feeling this way. And Ratio’s still young, of course, but Kakavasha should take one step at a time to accept himself. At his age, Ratio still yearned for something more, so Kakavasha should think the same way too.
That there is a future for him. But Kakavasha has a long way to go to come to that realization.
“Hey, doctor.” The blond smirks, laying down on his bed as usual. “Do you like me?”
… Your forwardness never fails to give me a headache.
“... What brought this on?” Ratio isn’t sure if he should feel perplexed. Whenever Kakavasha talks, it’s either something silly or something that’s gonna hit Ratio like a moving truck. He’s so… complicated. But that’s why Ratio favors him a lot. Always so unexpected.
The blond cocks his head to the side. “Well, no one usually talks to someone for a full 4 hours unless it’s for business. Or unless you’re my friend.” His head then tilted towards the window, a smile rueful as always. “No one can stand listening to me for more than 10 minutes.”
“... I only do this to check up on you. Nothing more.”
Does Ratio take Kakavasha for a fool? He sees right through him. Although the blond is smiling, he finds it quite sad that Ratio excuses their hangouts as daily checkups. Most checkups take about 2 hours long, yet they take their time. They spend more than 4 hours talking to each other and even have lunch together. The doctors have noticed that perhaps Ratio’s constant talks with Kakavasha are good for his health.
But… sometimes, they find themselves confused and perplexed. One minute, it seems like Kakavasha’s mental health is improving. The next, it worsens. Kakavasha is a patient who hides his own feelings. Every time someone gets close, he closes in despite opening up in the first place.
And because of this, Ratio ultimately decided to take care of him. No matter what. Even though Ratio himself isn’t the best at socializing, he knows how and when to present himself.
He isn’t sure how to respond to the blond, so in turn, he merely says, “You are what I like in humans.”
“... ? What? ” Ratio kind of makes it sound like he’s an alien or something. Kakavasha displays confusion and concern.
Ratio adjusts his glasses, crossing his leg as he sits elegantly. “Kakavasha, you are tenacious and intelligent.” He hesitates. Uncertainty paints at the back of his mind for his next words. “... And… Despite what you’ve gone through, I see you as a strong person who can win against fate. But you need to put in effort .”
“... Haha…” The blond sweats a singular bullet. “What do you m--”
“You are living proof that humans can win against fate.”
A splash of blue paints Kakavasha’s blank canvas. His heart, although slow beating, lightens up inside his crumpled up body. His words become lost, flowing down with dripping paint. The blond is sitting up from his hospital bed. Being taken under Intensive Care, he never expected that such words coming from the person who passes by every single day would wake him up.
“ Hah, ” he looks down, avoiding his gaze. “What are you saying? Come on, you can’t possibly believe that. I thought you were smarter than that, doctor… Me? Tenacious? But I’ve… let go of everything already. I can’t take that seriously!”
A usual pattern Ratio has noticed in Kakavasha’s speech. He tends to always blabber about whenever he mildly back-handedly compliments him. Or whenever he gets nervous, flushed, or scared. He starts talking this way. Insecurity overflows him like a fountain, despite always showing Ratio a smug and secretive face.
The blond shakes his head once more. “My luck’s gone down the drain, doc. Like a bunch of rain draining in a sewer.”
777B…
But Ratio was quick to call it off. He remembers something. Something crucial. His room number in the Intensive Care Unit is a jackpot number. “You’re still full of luck. You just don’t believe it.”
Now, Kakavasha looks offended. Ratio meant not to offend, but it seems that he ticked off the blond’s radar by too much. He can only exasperate, “You know my condition. It’s not getting better.”
“The only way for you to improve your health is to regain strength and eat healthily. In which you are not doing.” A mere shake of the head from the doctor, which pisses the blond off. “You must face it. You must encourage yourself to put effort into your own self. When you realize that, I want you to tell me with a more sincere smile.”
The clock is ticking. Ratio lifts up his arm and makes a peep at his wristwatch. It’s far too late. He has to get going before the nurses come into Kakavasha’s room to treat him again. Once again, he packs his things and gets ready to leave. The blond is bewildered. Ratio waves goodbye like usual, just like how they do every day. Kakavasha waves back slowly, then drops his arms as soon as the door closes behind the doctor. The nurses will come in any second.
The blond has a sour look on his face. He isn’t sure how to feel.
These past few days have been going great for the two of them. Chatting like normal friends isn’t something Kakavasha had the pleasure of doing in a long time. But what’s in store now? There’s a mix of colors swirling into brown and black in Kakavasha’s mind. The eerie sound of the clock ticking echoes throughout the white room.
… He’s going to die. He knows that the doctor is already aware of his own tendencies. He acts so brave, but his hand trembles behind his back at the thought of losing. He’s won so much, but nowadays he keeps letting go of the luck.
“... Sigh.” A long, mind-winded exhale comes out of his mouth. He’s alone in the room. “I should've controlled my emotions. That was a genuine mistake, showing him my depressive side. I keep slipping that up. Perhaps I should’ve just kept the act up…”
So he wouldn’t need to know anything about me.
The window curtains have subsided today. He can see the outside wide and clear. More snow has piled up and the persimmons are barely hanging on. The clouds are covering the sun, permitting it from showering its radiant glow. No wonder the snow can’t melt. Kakavasha feels that the more he sees that tree, the more he feels like he’s about to get a heart attack.
“... When did it start…” His eyes unwillingly well up with water. “Was it my sister’s death? No, it must’ve been the death of my mother… No, it must’ve been the day of my kidnapping… No…”
It must’ve been the death of his sister. No. It must’ve been the death of his mother. No. It must’ve been when he was kidnapped. No. It must’ve been when he was trafficked or--
… I should’ve just died when I had the chance.
Whatever the case, it’s useless dwelling on it now. What’s past is gone. Kakavasha can only drift his eyes at the piles of snow. 3 persimmons have fallen already, splattered on the hard snow below. There’s only 2 persimmons dangling on the tree left. Their stems are growing tired. And so is he.