Archive of Our Own

It takes a whole month for Finn to get out of the medical bay and then another month or so for him to walk completely on his own. The physiotherapy for an injury such as the one he suffered is long and a bit painful; the spine isn’t exactly the best place to get a lightsaber wound.

At least Finn gets Poe’s company when the older man isn’t on duty or busy training and running errands with his team mates. He can hear Finn cursing Kylo Ren for impressing hours without getting bored.

When Finn completes two months around the Resistence is also the time when he starts to spend more time with Poe and his crew.

Poe should’ve known that this was going to be a bad idea. He was doing just fine being with Finn by himself; but he can’t exactly keep the fighter all to himself.

“You’ve decided what you’re going to do already, buddy?” Jessika asks him the night he joins Poe’s crew for dinner.

“Nah, haven’t decided yet,” it’s a subject that Finn and Poe have been talking about a lot lately.

General Organa made sure she came to talk to Finn and gave him all her time to explain that he’s more than welcome and that she wants him to feel at home there. In whenever part of the Resistence he feels like he belongs to.

“It’s okay, you’ve got all the time in the world to figure it out,” Snap winks at him.

“It’s true, but I don’t think I can stay that long thinking about it,” says Finn. “I can’t keep still for long, I gotta do something, you know?”

“He’s been whining and moping around therapy for a whole week about how he hates ‘feeling useless’,” Poe smirks. “BB-8 threatened to laser him again if he kept complaining.”

His friends laugh but Jessika keeps shaking her head bewildered. “It’s not normal how human-like that droid is, I’m telling ya. It’s possessed.”

Finn nods in her direction. “He gave me thumbs up once.”

Everybody at the table stops with forks halfway their mouths to look at Finn, until the ex-stormtrooper realizes why they’re staring at him. Finn rolls his eyes, “Not actual thumbs up, obviously. But it was his intent, I swear.”

“Worst part is buddy, we all believe in you,” Snap tells him.

“He got attached to you quite quick, didn’t he?” Jessika asks with a smile and both Poe and Finn snort at that.

It’s true that after a whole month not only watching Finn for Poe when his owner wasn’t able to be there, but also staying there with Poe too; BB-8 grew attached to Finn and slowly learned how to like him. But they know it wasn’t always like this.

“Are you kidding me? That thing hated me,” Finn tells her.

BB-8 chirps from where he was standing at the end of the table.

[I do not know hate,] the droid beeps. [But I did express a high dislike and mistrust for your person.]

Everybody except Finn starts laughing and Poe translates what the droid said as a reflex for his friend, and Finn points an accusing finger towards the tiny robot.

“I knew you were bad mouthing me,” he laughs. “But it’s all good now, isn’t it BB-8? You love me now.”

[You have proven yourself trustworthy,] BB-8 beeps. [It doesn’t mean that I love you.]

BB-8 can’t even make airquotes but if he could, Poe would swear he air quoted ‘love’ like that was a ridiculous affirmation.

“He’s gonna love me someday, just you watch,” Finn shrugs.

“I’ve got a question though,” Snap leans towards Finn. “Through the whole mess that’s been the last months we didn’t get around to get out of Poe the whole story of how you two met.”

There are a few people close to General Organa and who got to know Rey before she left that came around the news that Finn is an ex-stormtrooper. The fact isn’t known across the Resistence base but even if it was, Poe’s sure that people wouldn’t judge him too hard because ex-stormtrooper or not, there are all the wonderful things that he did.

Finn knows that Snap and Jessika know about that, so he doesn’t miss a beat before starting the story of how he and Poe met.

It’s so weird to see that story from the other point of view, Poe thinks. Up until now he only had his way of seeing things. Whether he admitted it or not, intending or not, Finn was Poe’s hero that night. If he hadn’t rescued the man, Poe doesn’t know how long it would take for the Resistence to find him or even if he would be alive to be found.

He knows he’s valuable and he doesn’t want to think about what Kylo Ren or somebody else would do to him to try to get information from him.

Poe doesn’t realize he’s been staring at Finn like a lovesick puppy until BB-8 rolls to stand beside him and even without goddamn eyes, Poe can sense the judging coming off from the droid.

Alright, so maybe he was staring a little bit.

(If BB-8 could beep right now without Jessika and Snap listening, he would correct his owner. Those were heart eyes.)

A few days after the dinner, Poe has hit his head in the pillow enough times to know that he was staring at Finn like a damsel in distress because he has a crush.

He has a crush, fuck. He’s a fucking grown man and he has the hugest crush on his friend.

The pilot doesn’t try to fool himself into thinking that this is news. Ever since he saw Finn with his jacket he knew that the guy was more than good looking (his actual thoughts were “Is it normal for someone to be this hot, holy fuck” but that doesn’t need to be addressed).

When Finn was in the medical bay, he came nearly every day and his worry grew bigger every time he entered the room again and Finn wasn’t awake. It didn’t matter what the medical staff told him. That though, he could pinpoint to the fact that he genuinely cared about Finn. He was so fucking brave in facing Kylo like that and he had helped so much, caring and worrying were reasonable things to do, Poe thought.

But this? Oh, this crush has probably been there since Finn woke up and smiled for the first time to Poe. He’s pretty sure he was a goner right there and then.

Crush or not, Poe is a grown man and he can totally control himself. Finn was living now in a room right across his because General Organa was freaking amazing and things didn’t need to be weird. They really didn’t.

Poe’s cleaning his X-Wing a week after the dinner when he sees Finn standing a few meters away with BB-8 and a book.

They’re both whispering and they seem to be highly entertained in something and that’s a sight that’s been common to Poe lately. He doesn’t know what they could be doing together alone for so long since Finn doesn’t understand a word of droid talk but whatever it is, seems to be fun.

He climbs over the wing and sits on it; just watching the two of them for a few and then he gets down to come closer.

“You two have been awfully close lately,” he says in a way of greeting. They look up at him and he gives a smile in Finn’s direction. “Whatever it is that BB-8 said, he’s lying. It wasn’t me.”

Finn shrugs and closes the book. “Worried he’s gonna spill all your secrets?”

“Not really, I’m pretty sure I programmed him against that.”

[There is no such file in my program,] the little traitor beeps.

“Well, I’ll be sure to put it in there later.”

BB-8 doesn’t answer but his head keeps aligned in Poe’s direction and there it is again, Poe’s sure that the droid is goddamn judging him.

Finn starts laughing. “I don’t even need to be learning droid talk to understand that one, I don’t think he liked that idea very much.”

Poe’s about to say something quirky back when he snaps his mouth closed and turns around to Finn. Finn, who’s still laughing a little and – oh shit he looks so good when he’s happy like that.

“You’re learning droid talk?” Poe asks instead of saying what he was thinking. You’re so fucking gorgeous when you laugh.

“Yeah, BB-8’s been helping me. You learn quicker with experience or something like that. Jess said it,” Finn shrugs.

Poe nods at the two of them. “Well, I gotta finish that baby over there. You two go on with what you were doing,” he tells them.

As he goes back to his X-Wing, he starts thinking about Finn and BB-8 walking around and having talks and BB-8 getting even more attached to Finn than he already is. It might be stupid, but the idea makes Poe sincerely happy.

He doesn’t understand what it is, but he and the droid are pretty close. It might be a robot, but it’s loyal and it’s funny. Poe likes the idea of BB-8 being loyal to someone other than him.

“What’s got your head up in the clouds?” he hears Jessika calling from underneath. He looks down and there she is standing next to his Wing.

“Just heard that Finn’s learning droid talk.”

“Scared that little cute thing is going to spill all your secrets?”

Poe rolls his eyes. “Why does everyone think that?”

“He’s been at it for a while. He doesn’t understand when BB-8 beeps quick like crazy like he usually does, but if he speaks slowly I’m pretty sure he can understand it already,” Jessika tells him and huh.

That reminds him of something.

“Hey, BB-8!” he screams over the X-Wing and he hears a few beeps before BB-8 starts rolling until he’s standing next to Jessika. “Have you thanked him already?”

[Thanked who?]

“Finn, obviously.”

[I don’t understand, I’m the one helping him?]

“No, I mean about helping you back then. He didn’t understand droid talk at all back then. I already thanked him, did you?” Poe smiles.

If BB-8 could sigh, he would’ve. Poe knows it might sound silly, but since Finn’s learning droid talk already he might as well have his droid show some gratitude.

When he looks over at the two of them, Finn’s got that look on his face that Poe’s come to know very well. It’s that look where he’s happy and grateful for what he hears but he doesn’t really know how to take it.

Damn it, it’s a goddamn good look on him.

Poe’s pretty sure that kid’s going to kill him one of these days. A heart attack, it’s what it’s gonna be. Finn’s going to smile or do something like take his shirt off and Poe’s going to fall off from an X-Wing and die of something pretty stupid.

He’s not sure he would mind.

Before his mind starts to wonder to dark places – more known as the idea of Finn shirtless – Poe shakes his head and turns his attention back to work. Finn is too damn gorgeous for his own good so Poe better pay attention to what he’s doing. If he made Finn smile just a little with just a reminder for BB-8 to say thanks and his day is won because of that, well… no one has to—

“You’re ridiculous,” Jessika chuckles and Poe nearly falls off for real.

What the actual fuck?

Since when has she been standing there? Poe’s staring but now he’s sure that it’s with a look of guilt – even though he did absolutely nothing wrong – and wariness.

“You were still there,” he clears his throat.

Jessika is giving him one of those funny looks that woman have that make you rethink your whole life and life choices. How the hell do they do that, is beyond him.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell,” she says before she starts to slowly put her pilot outfit back on.

“Tell what?” he asks and his desperate tone even makes him blush a little.

She gives him the look again and smirks like she’s the devil herself.

“You know what, Dameron. Coy is not a good look on you, don’t try it,” she says before walking away swaying her hips as if there’s music playing on the background.

Jessika caught him full of heart eyes and… for the lack of a better word, swooning.

If this crush doesn’t kill him, he might have to kill himself.

Rey eventually comes back and to Poe, that’s not a surprise. He knew she’d succeed in her mission even though it was a difficult one. She’s a tough girl who looks like one of those people that once they have something settled in their mind; they don’t stop until they do it.

Three months is a really good time, he thinks.

He’s happy she’s back, honestly. He doesn’t know why the hell Snap gave him that look when he said he’d stop by Rey’s welcome back gathering later. It’s not like he’s pining or something.

(He completely is.)

He just doesn’t want to be that friend that’s been glued to Finn’s hip and now doesn’t even leave his side when his best friend gets here. Finn’s probably busy asking her about her journey and everybody else is probably too busy with Luke Skywalker being back to bother the two of them.

It’s obvious that he is stopping by the gathering – he isn’t a twelve year old after all – but the fact that he stays back for a while has even him worrying for a bit.

He doesn’t want to put an ugly name to the thing, but it’s right in his face. He’s jealous.

You don’t really get jealous of a crush.

It might be because he and Finn were sitting on the stairs talking about what the younger man’s going to do on the Resistence and how the talk was so good before they were interrupted and Finn ran off when he heard that Rey was back.

Poe was getting deeper in his feelings every time he had one of those private talks with Finn – something that’s been happing more and more since he woke up.

They passed from acquaintances – that met on very unique circumstances – to friends to really close friends in a very short time. In those two months that Finn’s been awake he’s told Poe so much about the First Order was like, Poe pretty much told the guy his entire life and all those conversations were always so private and felt so important.

And then today when they were talking about Finn’s possibilities and one soldier came to warn them of who was back and Finn had this look. Fuck.

Poe was jealous.

He knew that what he and Finn had was special not only for him, but his feelings were not helping him right now. When you like someone – and there was no denying now that it was that – you thrive in their attention. Poe never had to actually share Finn’s attention. It’s been his this entire time.

He obviously knows how important Rey is for him otherwise he wouldn’t have gone all the way to the StarKiller base to save her. He found it cute – brotherly even.

But what if that’s not what it is?

“You’re being a teenage boy, Dameron,” he says to his reflection in the mirror.

Time to be an adult, he thinks.

When he gets to the room where everybody’s gathered Snap doesn’t waste his time in dragging his ass to shake hands with Luke Skywalker.

The man was a hero – not only to Poe but to a lot of people and talking to him for a while takes Poe’s mind out of things, but with the number of people gathered in there it wasn’t really meant to last.

He’s talking to General Organa and Snap about something when he looks over her shoulder and sees Rey and Finn standing in a far corner talking excitedly about something.

Despite the bit of jealousy in him, it’s nothing against Rey. He’s quite fond of the girl and he’s happy to see her. She has a lightsaber tied in her new clothes and she looks quite good.

He doesn’t want to know what she and Finn are talking about that’s got them laughing so hard.

“It’s not pretty to stare you know,” Snap gets his attention. When he looks at his friend, Snap has this devious look on his face and a huge grin. He pretends to examine his nails. “You’re not gonna stay hi to the jedi girl?”

Poe gives him his bitchiest look but before he can answer Snap, he hears Finn’s voice from across the room calling out his name.

Ah, shit. He looks at Finn and he and Rey are coming in his direction. Poe takes a deep breath and goes for a hug because he’s like that, okay?

“Hey there Jedi girl, glad to have you back,” he tells her sincerely.

“Glad to finally meet you properly,” she answer and Poe smiles at her cute accent. She leans back and Poe notices she’s smirking with a glint in her eyes that match Jessika’s in a scary way.

“Rey—“ Finn starts but she starts talking like she hasn’t heard him.

“Though from what it feels like, I already know you quite a lot!” she jokingly gives him a light slap on the shoulder and Poe’s sure that he’s not the only one looking confused right now. He and Snap share a look before Rey takes pity on him and starts laughing. “Finn talked about you a lot the couple of times I managed to get contact with the Resistence. And now, obviously. He was wondering where you had run off too.”

“Actually, that’s true. Where the hell were you?” Finn turns to Poe and the latter doesn’t miss the fact that even with his dark skin, Poe can tell that Finn’s blushing.

“I had to pass in my room quick,” he answers quickly.

“Well, don’t worry about being introduced because Finn here has told Luke and I a lot about you,” she tells with a satisfied grin. “Actually, where’s the old man? He can vouch for me.”

“He’s talking to his sister, don’t bother him,” Finn slaps her in the head.

Poe bites his bottom lip. Finn’s still blushing but from what it looks like, he’s not really bothered by the fact that he’s been telling people about Poe. He’s blushing, but he’s still smiling a little bit.

“You need to get over your fear of the General,” Poe jokes.

“I’m not scared of her, I just have a whole lot of respect, you understand me?” he says for the millionth time.

“Well, you and your respect are going over there with me,” Rey laughs and then looks at Poe with a knowing smile. “Don’t worry, I’ll bring him back real quick.”

Poe raises his hand in a gesture that says not to worry, but when Rey starts dragging a reluctant Finn to where the Skywalkers are talking, he can’t help but follow them with his gaze.

He registers two important things real quick. Number one is that Rey and Finn act a lot like brother and sister. Number two is that he feels like he’s smiling like a lunatic.

“Dude.”

Number three is that he needs better friends. Snap gets his attention and when he turns around, his friend is on the verge of laughing a lot.

“If you could see your face,” Snap tells him before throwing his head back in laughter.

“Oh, bite me,” Poe’s not worried about that now.

“Are you shitting me? I don’t want to get killed.”

What? “What?”

“Holy fuck, I’m best friends with an idiot,” Snap says while still laughing and Poe feels like he said that more to himself than anything else. He stares at Snap a bit more but decides that his previous sight was a lot better.

“Screw you,” he says to Snap without any heat.

Snap only laughs harder.

Even though she doesn’t stay with them much due to her Jedi training, having Rey on the Resistence base is pretty amazing.

At least, that’s what Poe initially thinks.

He thought the girl was sweet and loving and a good person but honestly? She’s the devil. And scary.

And by that, Poe means that Rey and Jessika hit like water and water and it’s freaking terrifying and the two of them keep giving Poe those knowing looks and throwing grins at his direction and it makes him skittish. He did not leave his mother house to get her looks back at him in the face of Rey and fucking Jessika.

With a sigh, Poe keeps walking to where everybody’s gathered.

He decides then that no, Rey is a sweetheart and a flower. It’s probably all Jessika’s fault anyway.

When he gets to the room where his crew plus Rey are gathered, he says hi to everybody and sits on the cushions on the floor with them.

“I’m dead,” he informs them.

“You’re old,” Jessika bites back.

“He’s not old,” Finn intervenes like she said something ridiculous. He turns to Poe. “What happened?”

“Lessons for the kids, fuck they’re trying to kill me,” Poe whines. A heartbeat later, he feels Finn’s hand running through his hair.

It’s a thing that Finn does sometimes. According to the younger man, he likes Poe’s hair a lot. Poe doesn’t even think about it much, only that it feels nice when he does it. He sighs and keeps going. “I mean, it’s nice to teach them and all that and I love kids, but I’m not gonna lie to you all, I do feel old when it’s getting near to the end of the class and they start getting jittery and hungry and there are so many of them, it’s not fair.”

“That’s what happens when you decide to give flying lessons on a freaking Saturday right before lunch,” Jessika tells him completely unfazed by his whining.

“I get it though, a lot of kids in the same place can be a fucking nightmare,” Snap nods in solidarity. “Teachers who teach little kids have my respect, dude. They bite each other, scream, pull hair, throw things—I don’t know, I’d go crazy,” Snap laughs.

“I am. I’m going crazy, somebody kill me,” Poe says without lifting his head from the pillow. He doesn’t have the force to do that now and Finn’s fingers feel too good right now.

“I want to see a bunch of kids together like that,” Finn comments on a low voice.

“You’re gonna regret that decision, mate,” Snap laughs.

The group recognizes the low tone that Finn takes when he wants to talk about something a little bit heavy. In one of the first times they were all together for lunch like that, Finn made a comparison with the First Order and the silence that fell afterwards was so thick you could cut it with a knife.

He started apologizing before being interrupted by all three pilots. Poe said that Finn should never hold back those comments, it was only the first time he made them and it was a bit different, but he had a past and that was that.

“I mean, in the First Order you can imagine what classes are like,” he tries to shrug it off but it’s in everybody’s eyes that no, nobody in that circle can imagine what it was like, only have a vague idea of how horrible. “I guess I should start slow, a small group of children. I don’t wanna be traumatized.”

“Come by my class when you want to. There aren’t many of them but you know, you can get the idea of how crazy they can drive you,” Poe offers and Finn smiles.

“Hey, did you tell him already?” Rey asks from where she’s sitting beside Finn. He shakes his head.

“He left really early this morning,” he says with his eyes on her and then to Poe, “I talked to General Organa, I can start my fighter training. I’m going to be a ground fighter for the Resistence. I’m a sharp shooter, you know? I do that well. I have to keep my physiotherapy sessions for quite a while, but… it’s good.”

The smile on Finn’s face while he talks is so genuine that it’s enough to make Poe’s heart flutter. Poe is sure that Finn’s smile could cure cancer or something like that. Somebody should investigate that, honestly.

“I mean, as cool as it is to fly with the three of you around there, it’s not like I’m going to learn now how to do it—“

“I can teach you,” Poe offers without a single thought, eyes locked in Finn’s easy smile and relaxed posture.

Gods, he deserves it. He deserves everything.

Finn’s gaping at him. “You’re serious?”

“Of course, it’s not that difficult.”

Jess and Snap start talking about how Poe’s right and that if Finn wants help “to get rid of Poe’s annoying ass”, he can come to them. He’s still looking at Finn in all honesty when he feels somebody kicking him in the shin.

He turns around and it’s Rey.

She mouths, “You might want to control the look on your face,” but it doesn’t really look like she means it. She has a smile on her face that Poe hasn’t seen before.

He probably was staring too hard again. It’s all good. Finn’s still smiling, so it’s all good.

It all comes to its peak because of Poe’s own stupidity. Honestly, he managed to outdo himself in all possible manners.

It’s a common fact that Poe Dameron likes kids. He’s charming, he’s funny and kids love him and ever since he remembers he loves them right back. Even though some of them might be brats or pains in the ass, he does adore them.

And Poe went and fucked himself because he was stupid. He wouldn’t be so done if he had handed himself to the First Order with a bow on his head.

Poe could handle the beauty. He was getting used to it, alright? (Except he wasn’t.) He could handle the eventual sassiness, the funny way of being blunt and how fucking brave and smart Finn was. How quickly he learned things. How he didn’t mind that people underestimated him sometimes because he could prove them wrong.

All of those thing, Poe was handling. Horribly, so fucking horribly—but handling.

Being good with kids, though? Not at all.

Of course Poe had to go and offer Finn to meet his class. The next day, Finn was there. Because that’s how Finn was, a little curious for certain things.

And all it took was a few minutes for him to be surrounded by kids telling him stories and honestly, Poe was a fucking goner.

Bury him alive for all it matters, he’s dead already.

He’s standing far away just watching Finn being surrounded by all of them – with ages that vary from ten to thirteen – and Poe’s not exaggerating when he claims that he’s in physical pain. Finn is just too good and Poe reached his limit. He might start crying at any minute now.

And then, to make matters even worse – it can always happen – the gang of little devils, more known as Poe and Finn’s friends arrive.

Rey, Snap and Jess don’t even try to hide their grins and laughter behind their hands.

At least they have the decency to look sorry for him.

There’s no point denying now, is there?

“You know,” he starts after a while of the three of them just looking at him. “People usually get this fucking done when the person they’re in love with takes their shirt off in front of them and start washing cars… And here I am. Dying. Because of kids.”

He drops his face to his hands.

“Why did I offer it? Ughh, just bury me.”

It takes a while for them to say anything and Poe doesn’t even register that it’s because the three of them are staring at him with wide eyes. He didn’t even notice his choice of words, his mind too gone with how Finn looks happily talking to his students.

“I don’t even know who you are,” Snap eventually says after his shock has passed. “You’re a catch, Dameron! You’re smooth, knows more lines than the whole Resistence together, you hit on him sometimes and then retrieve, what the hell?”

“He’s right. You’ve got moves, put them to good use, you know?” Rey smiles at him with those dimples and kind eyes and clasps a hand on his shoulder. “Your pining is genuinely affecting my life. It pains me to see all that pining. I feel like it’s slipping it to me and can’t sleep properly. Please do something.”

Poe knows they have a point.

He should do something, this is getting ridiculous.

He knows why he doesn’t, though. He’s used to pulling people for the fun of it. He’s never been an asshole, always a gentleman the night afterwards. Even when he hooks up with people more than once he makes sure to leave things clear. But this—Finn. This isn’t any of that.

“It’s difficult when the person’s special, isn’t it?” Jessika says after her silence. Poe looks at her and then—oh. He remembers that she was married once before her wife died on combat. It was quite a while ago, they were all so young that sometimes he nearly forgets it. “It makes everything seem like a big deal. Every insecurity shows, all the points matter, their past is important, you’re scared that if you lose them in any way will somehow lead to losing them completely…” she shrugs and bumps her shoulder on his. “But either you try or you die wanting to know, Dameron. It’s your choice.”

Fuck.

She might be the devil, but his best friend is the smartest little devil out there.

They’re out in the Resistence base just walking around the edge of the forest that surrounds the place. Finn started his flying lessons and he was honestly good, he caught up real quick despite the many times that he claimed that flying wasn’t for him.

“I just needed a proper tutor, that’s all,” he smiles to Poe.

“Apparently, yeah,” Poe shrugs.

Poe listens as Finn tells about how his meeting with General Organa went and they stop beneath a tree to sit down. The night's too nice to stay inside and it's still early despite the very dark sky.

"- and I told her she could piss off," Finn finishes and Poe feels bad because he stopped listening for a second. "'Ask Poe', I genuinely wonder what goes on in their heads. Probably something like 'Poe named him so he’ll give him anything.”

Now Poe’s lost.

“I’m sorry, what?”

Finn looks at Poe and starts laughing. “You’re in a whole other galaxy aren’t you?”

“It’s been a lazy day, I’m slow, give me a break.”

“Alright, old man. I wanted a droid and apparently people think you’re my provider or something,” Finn says as he sits beside Poe beneath the tree. “I honestly like the little things, you know?”

“Old man? Who’s old man?” Poe fakes disbelief, making Finn laugh again. His expression turns a bit sour though when he realizes what Finn’s been talking about.

As if he caught up Poe’s mood change in the air, Finn turns to the pilot. “What’s wrong?”

Poe could say it’s nothing, but it is something that’s bothered him a bit in the past months. It’s not something that makes him mad per say, but it’s just those small things that you feel like even if you correct people in it, their mind’s not going to change about.

“I don’t know, I don’t just like when people say I named you, you know?” Poe leans against the tree and closes his eyes, just feeling the night breeze and the warm temperature ease him even more. “I gave you a suggestion and you liked it, that’s all. I mean, if we’re going on technicalities yeah, I 'named' you, but I… didn’t.” He shrugs it off. “Just doesn’t feel right saying that. I feel like when people say that they forget you were your own person before your name. If you weren’t, you wouldn’t have rebelled after all. Right thing or not, you were the one that rescued me. You claimed it was ‘the right thing’ so easily without even realizing that this is the kind of thing that says a lot about someone’s personality. You thought the First Order was wrong before you decided that ‘Finn’ was suited for you. I just don’t want people forgetting that.”

When Poe stops talking, he actually can feel the change in the air. He slowly takes in his everything that he’s said and suddenly, he doesn’t want to open his eyes.

Mostly because he can feel Finn’s gaze on him, but also because he knew this would happen.

Unlike this quiet night though, he imagined this would slip out when they were out with friends. His most likely scenario was if Rey had to go away and they threw her a party and he drank and then this happened.

He imagined his feelings slipping out in a lot of ways, but so honestly and easily—that thought didn’t cross his mind at all.

“Poe,” Finn calls his name and he simply has to open his eyes. There’s something in Finn’s voice that it’s just—.

When he turns his head to Finn, he wonders if they were sitting this close all the time. He wonders that if the floating lights across the base that light up Finn’s face have some sort of black magic because the electric light mixed with the moonlight make him look even more gorgeous if that’s even possible.

He doesn’t hold his staring now, there’s no point, is there?

And he would feel guilty later, except that Finn doesn’t look all that sorry. Or scared, for the matter. Finn’s just—looking.

Looking at Poe with his lips slightly parted, his eyes roaming over Poe’s face like he’s looking for something but not really. Finn’s looking at every inch in Poe’s face like he’s finally allowed to look—shamelessly, without holding back.

Much like Poe is doing right now.

Poe swallows the lump on his throat, the constricted feeling that he can’t quite speak right now. He needs to say something and he knows it.

“Did I scare you?” he finally gets out.

His voice is low – and much heavier than he expected – but he asks just for good measure. Finn doesn’t look scared—and as an answer Finn shakes his head.

“You really think all that when people say you named me?” Finn asks, voice low too, but filled with emotion.

Poe wondered if he’s been stealing glances too.

He nods.

“I think a lot of things about you,” he continues since the honesty is out already. Finn closes his eyes briefly at those words but opens them again, only to look Poe straight in the eye. “I think that you’re amazing, for starters.”

Finn chuckles. “Yeah? That makes two of us.”

That makes Poe smile. He hums. “One would think that I have such a high opinion of you because you saved me and all that but I can see in other people’s eyes how they agree with me. You’re really amazing, did you know that? Brave too, even if with selected thing,” he smirks at the memory of Finn telling him he hates bugs. “And you’re kind hearted—“

Finn’s still smiling, but he closes his eyes again and bites his bottom lip like he’s trying to hold something back, so Poe just continues. If he’s going to get this out of his chest, he’s going to say it all.

“—when you care about people you care so deeply and it’s such a beautiful thing to see it, Finn.”

“Poe.”

“And holy fuck, how you’re gorgeous—“

“Kiss me,” Finn blurts finally opening his eyes. If it was a little lighter Poe wonders if he would be able to see the blush on his cheeks. Finn scoots closer and the heat of his body genuinely makes Poe a little dizzy, getting Finn close like that because of his request. “Is that okay? Do you want—“

Before he can ask anything else, Poe leans in and does it.

It’s just a press of the lips, a chaste kiss, but they stay like that for a while before they retrieve. When he opens his eyes just a little, he can see his smile mirrored on Finn’s face. They lean forward again but this time Poe’s shock is gone and he wants it.

He parts his lips just a little, fits Finn’s bottom lip again his and holds the younger man’s face between his hands. Poe kneels beside Finn to get in a better position and he feels Finn’s hands sliding to his waist.

They start kissing slowly, moving together without a worry in the world and it clicks on Poe’s head that this is Finn’s first kiss. The thought only makes his chest feel lighter and heavier at the same time, the feelings inside him making him even dizzier.

When they part again, Poe gets up quickly and Finn’s face falls only for a second before Poe’s pulling him along, “Get here,” he smiles.

Poe leans against the tree himself and pulls Finn close to get his mouth back on him because now that he’s got that, he ain’t letting go so soon.

The kisses, slow as they are, turn more sensual when they’re pressing against each other from head to toe. Poe’s not going to do anything—knows that the matter of sex with Finn is one of those that not only were foreign to him until he got access to better information but also still a bit scary. That kind of intimacy for someone that was raised from birth to be nothing but a(n evil) soldier is something he’s going to warm up to eventually.

It doesn’t mean that Finn doesn’t catch up on kissing. Quickly.

When Poe gently presses his tongue against his lips in a request, Finn doesn’t even think before parting them and deepening their kiss.

Poe doesn’t know for how long they kiss like that, but eventually they have to pull back to catch their breaths and instead of resting his head against the tree, he rests against Finn’s shoulder.

He enjoys the opportunity and presses a light kiss against Finn’s neck, making the younger man shudder against him.

Interesting.

“You think our friends already know we’ve been idiots?” Finn whispers and Poe can’t help but laugh.

“I have every reason to believe they have a bet going on,” he leans back and starts giving Finn quick kisses because now he can. “Hope none of them won.”

“Just to make things clear… this means I get to kiss whenever I want. Right?” he asks and licks his lips while looking at Poe’s. Damn it.

Poe bites hip bottom lip and sighs happily, knowing already that irony of the destiny or not, Finn’s going to be the reason of his death anyway. A slow, sensual and delicious death.

“Oh, yes it does,” he informs him and goes back to what they were doing.

They’ve got catching up to do.