Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The loud booms of speakers reverberated in the premise of the house, an up-tone beat playing which can be heard from the outside but was much now audible inside. The abundance of people inside of their house at the moment could have made Kai panic if he were not familiar with how parties like these went. 

Being a part of the most well known streaming group in the world did give him an environment which had these types of parties. Despite his participation in them, Kai still felt a bit nervous at times. But alcohol exists and it is a friend that always helps lessen the nervousness.

This party had to be the biggest one they had yet. Was there a reason why they threw this party? Supposedly, to celebrate the triumph of their individual careers! Kai didn't know what triumph meant but it was probably something positive. 

Kai was also not informed about the amount of people that would attend the party. The people coming in seemed to increase by the minute, it almost felt as if the house was at its full capacity. He was pretty sure security was letting anyone in at the moment. 

Kai isn't even sure if the guy that walked in is invited but may he be reminded to never ever invite him again as the stranger ran into him, didn't apologise and made him spill his liquor on his white tee. 

Grumbling profanities, Kai tries to lift his own mood up by greeting familiar faces in the crowd. Influencers, fellow twitch streamers, YouTubers, friends, exes; the variety of people in the house reminded him again of how far he and his friends made it. 

Just the thought of himself and his friends succeeding in life really brought a smile to his lips, they finally made it. 

"Kailer!" The man in question snaps out of his thoughts and looks at who called his name, he grins. "Zoe, My baby!! " He squeals, returning the enthusiasm as the fellow New Yorker tightly embraces him. Kai buries himself in Zoe's neck, breathing in her perfume. 

"You're wearing the perfume I liked, babe?" Kai says as he separates from Zoe, tone playful as he pulls the woman close. Zoe moans in a joking manner, making Kai snort. 

"Fuck yeah, anything for you, Daddy." Zoe says in the manly voice she had, fluttering her eyelashes at him. They both stared at each other for a moment, then broke the silence with laughter. 

Their interactions are sexual in nature, to those who didn't really know them in real life would think the pair are flirting with each other. They are, they just don't take it seriously. They were friends, twins, they matched each other's energy like no other. 

They parted ways, frankly because Zoe got called by one of her friends. They both hugged and took pictures together before she did leave. 

Kai always thought that he was weird for feeling a sort of comfort in the nature of these parties. When everyone was high or drunk, or maybe both, losing themselves to the beat of the music, people danced. Being able to witness it gave Kai a sense of belonging, as if this is what God truly planned for him.

Kai takes a sip from his cup. His eyes landed on his friends, they were each doing their own thing. Chris was with Davis, red cups in both of their hands respectively as they laughed and talked. They were touchy to each other too, which was normal, at least it was normal interaction between the two men but he didn't pay much attention to it. 

Fanum was on one of the multiple couches they had in the house, around him are who Kai assumes are also fellow content creators and guests. He could recognize some of them but most were a bunch of shapes with various colours. 

Agent was nowhere to be seen, at least Kai didn't know where the older man was. Knowing his friend and how anti-social the man could be, the New Yorker will bet that Din is in his room. Either streaming or doing whatever Din does on a daily basis. 

As Kai continues to scam the room, it only occurred to him how intoxicated he was. The people a metre away from him were no longer identifiable through features as they were nothing but splotches of colours that moved with the tune. 

Despite the blurry vision, Kai easily spots the eldest member of their group talking to a woman. It wasn't as if Duke was incredibly tall for Kai to pick him out of the crowd, he just knew Duke. It was really weird how easily he found him. 

They were talking and Kai could tell that the girl liked Duke, from the way she twirled her hair and bit her lip when she laughed and her constant touchiness. Even from a mile away, Kai could tell that Duke also reciprocated what the girl felt as he too acted in his element. 

It made Kai's blood boil. How easily Duke found women, or people who admired him in general, as if he were a magnet and they were metal. It sucked, he had to work to have people like him, it was like Duke just spawned and everyone loved him. 

It was a bit unfair.

Kai's brows furrowed together as he saw the woman feel up Duke's arms. He should be the one being touched like that. He was muscular too! 

Is Kai jealous? Yes and it was so stupid. Why should he be jealous? He's the one and only Kai Cenat, he's met countless celebrities, he's known worldwide, he's richer than Duke, and he's more than Duke could ever be! 

Without his grillz and accessories, Duke would be nothing. Hell, he'd be nothing if it weren't for Kai. 

As foul thoughts form in Kai's mind, sudden clarity of the whole situation brings him back to his senses. What is he talking about? This is his friend, his homie, his brother! He shouldn't be jealous because each and every one of them were different, at least that's what he tells himself. 

Guilt heavy on his chest, Kai finds a distraction to stop these thoughts. 

"Alice!" Kai calls out for the woman amongst the crowd of people around her stand, she's the bartender Kai hired for the night. Her bright red hair tied back to a high pony, the colour of her hair made Alice stand out amongst the crowd of people. Her pale skin making her emerald eyes pop, and lips the colour of cherry matching her top.

Kai walked up to her makeshift bar, head in his palm as he rested his elbow on the platform. 

Nathalie -at the moment- was juggling order for order, frail hands working at an inhumane speed to serve her customers. It is very impressive, and Kai doesn't regret hiring her. 

"What can I get you, Mr. Cenat?" Her Russian accent peeks through her English as she acknowledges his presence, Kai smiles. "Oh drop the formalities!" Kai says, making the woman smile. "Could I have a Pina colada but instead of rum make it vodka and the smallest amount of pineapple juice, and your number, pretty please?" He orders, winking at his last statement while flashing her his best smile. 

Alice laughs, Kai's heart beats slightly faster. She grabs a tall glass as she prepares his order. "No, thank you Kai, I am not interested." She politely declines, smiling as she finishes up his order. 

"Awh," Kai pouts, earning a snort laugh from Alice. "But I asked nicely.." He says while pointing both of his index fingers together while attempting to make a cute face. This caused Alice to cackle, in the process it made Kai laugh as well. 

"You are super sweet, Kai." She calms down, putting a fun straw in his drink before sliding it to him. Kai gladly sips the drink through the straw, his face scrunches as the alcohol hits him immediately.

"I have a wonderful wife at home waiting for me," She leans closer to him, and he listens intently, leaning closer to her as well. "But if I were a straight woman -no offence- I would not go for you but your friend over there." 

She finishes breaking Kai's heart with a single sentence as she points to the dancefloor, Kai looks at the person she's pointing at. 

Oh my fucking gosh 

It was none other than Duke Dennis himself. Kai's brows come together again, hand gripping the glass in his hand tightly as he eyes the man. 

"He is good looking, no?" 

"He is." He responds in a low voice, with no goodbyes, Kai -bitterly and angrily- storms off.Alice watches as the shorter man blends in with the crowd, chuckling to herself as she realises what she has done. 

Fuck that, what the hell? 

What the fuck? How? Even Alice? A gay woman? 

Kai could feel his entire body getting warmer and warmer by the second, he isn't sure if that was from the liquor or his anger. As he continues to sip on his drink, he makes his way through the sea of people and sits on the couch. He drops his weight entirely, sighing as he does so. 

Kai had already finished his drink so he set it on the coffee table in front of him, then he lay back, observing the people around him.

Wild and carefree were the words to describe the people at his house at the moment, they all reeked of sweat with their respective fragrances, they all had smiles on their faces, some were dancing, talking or just drinking. 

Duke and the woman Kai had seen earlier were a part of those people, they were acting like teenagers. Even Duke. They danced and laughed as if they were the only people in the house. 

It should have been sweet, because it is, but Kai found himself feeling the opposite. This girl could be potentially the girl Duke introduces to them again, and that made Kai's stomach twist and turn. 

"That your ex or somethin'?" A voice beside him asks, Kai pays no mind to the stranger. "Staring at 'em like that, you might decapitate one of them." The stranger jokes, Kai laughs at the stranger's poor attempt at getting his attention. 

"Jason." The man held out his hand for Kai to take, and Kai did so. The man had blond hair and he wore a baseball hat. He wore an open button up shirt with a white tee beneath it, paired with black pants. Judging by his freakishly long legs and arms, Jason had the lanky body type. 

"Strong grip." He comments, Jason's hands were quite big, almost engulfing his own. "Gotta let 'em know, ey?" Kai shakes his head. 

They talked for some time, often exchanging stories and laughing. It was a good distraction from being such a dickhead.

In the middle of Jason's storytelling, he stops. Kai questions it. "Uh, sorry, as I was saying-" Jason tries to avert the attention by going back to telling his story but his constant staring at the dancefloor made Kai curious as well. 

Oh. Duke and the woman were making out, Kai cringes but he couldn't keep his eyes away from them. 

Jason claps his hands together, getting Kai's attention. "ey, fuck them! Wanna dance with me?" He offers, "Not really.." "Would alcohol change your mind? Don't answer and don't move." Jason bolts before he could even answer. 

Kai watches the crowd again, Duke and the woman are now dancing, well, grinding on each other. Kai makes a noise of discomfort and disgust, "in public?" He whispers to nobody in particular. 

"Well, people are bold like that." Kai turns his head to Jason, who holds out a red cup filled with liquor. Kai responds by giving Jason a small smile as he takes the drink, downing it immediately. 

"Woah, slow down tough guy!" Jason warns, clapping his hand at Kai's back causing the younger man to cough violently. Jason laughs at Kai's situation, the New Yorker eventually laughs as he keeps giving the taller man the middle finger as he does so. 

Eventually they made it to the dancefloor, they weren't even dancing, they just kept laughing at each other. Kai knew how to dance, Jason didn't so the younger man kept dying of laughter at the poor blond's attempt at dancing. 

As Kai showed Jason how to do the sturdy dance, his vision blurred to the point where he couldn't see anything. As he got back, he lost balance and almost fell. But Jason caught him. 

"You alright?" The man held him by the waist, it made Kai shiver. "Uh yeah, I'm fine." He says, composing himself as he tries to push Jason off him. The man didn't budge. 

"uhm, lemme go.." Kai whispered, his head kept spinning and he wanted to vomit so bad. Jason didn't answer, the grip on his waist tightened as he was pulled closer to the man's embrace. 

"Hey, let me help you go to bed, yeah?" Jason whispered in a low voice into his ear, it made Kai's fight or flight response act up. The feeling of danger crept up within him, his entire body feeling weak. Loud sirens and warning signs rang in his head as his body told him to get the fuck away from this guy as soon as possible. 

Kai couldn't form a response, as if speaking had been something he didn't know yet. The thoughts were in his head but none of them were processed by his mouth. So he responds by shaking his head as another feeble attempt at pushing Jason off him, but Jason holds him tighter and closer to his body. 

"Don't fucking push me off, you're such a fucking tease, y'know that? Looking at me like that, it's like you're begging me to get my way with you right now." Kai's stomach twists, vomit crawling up his throat as he musters all of his remaining strength to get away from Jason. 

The push was strong enough to knock the man on the ground, giving Kai time to escape. Kai hurriedly pushes past the sea of people despite the blurry vision and tiredness in his body at the moment. 

A few people around them noticed the commotion yet none of them intervened, only giving stares. 

Apparently he wasn't fast enough as Jason caught him in a corner of the house where nobody else was present. A hand grabs his shoulder, spins him around and slams him to the wall behind him.

Kai whimpers at the impact, shutting his eyes tightly as he feebly tries to shield himself by using his arms to cover his face. He's gonna get robbed, raped, and have his body thrown at the side of the road. The thought made him shiver and scared him enough to make vomit crawl up his chest again. 

Before Jason could even get a word out, someone screamed. 

"AY WHAT THE FUCK YOU THINK YOU DOING?!" Kai knew that voice. He snapped his eyes open, Jason looked terrified. Kai only saw a blur of colours colliding with one another before his vision turned black. 

Chapter Text

His eyes flutter open, vision blurring in and out as he tries to take in his surroundings. Kai's whole body felt as if he's never slept, tiredness lingered in his limbs as confusion flooded his mind.

Kai was very confused at the state of his body. It felt as if all parts of it were weighed down by dumbbells, his chest especially felt as if an elephant was currently stepping on it.

And the worst pain of it all had to be his pounding headache. It throbbed as if he had been hit with a bat. Ranged as if there was a church bell inside his head. He needed medicine, now.

Why was he so tired?

What happened last night?

So Kai tries to recall the events prior. Nothing. Not absolutely nothing, just after he and that stranger danced together. He remembers the drinking, the encounter with that bartender, and dancing with a stranger but anything after was a blank canvas.

Had he slept with him? This thought made Kai shiver, he wasn't gay. And if he was, he wouldn't pick that guy.

Slowly and as carefully as he could in this state, Kai tries to sit up. He does so, but not without his head ringing even harder and vomit knocking at the back of his throat.

It was only then he realised that this was not his room. Goosebumps appeared on his skin. The cold had become so unbearable to him that Kai instinctively took the blanket on the bed and wrapped it over his shoulders.

The room had black interior, dark furniture and black beddings. The entire room was lit up by the purple LED lights that covered the corners of the room. Right above where Kai laid his head was a small yellow light.

Sitting on the bed now with his feet planted on the carpeted floor, Kai sees the following. A large AMP signage, and a street name too familiar for comfort. A gaming setup. And a large bookshelf filled with things ranging but not limited to merchandise, action figures, plenty of books, and some small plants.

This was Duke's room. Kai stood up, his legs wobbled as if it couldn't hold him up so he held the nightstand for support.

What the hell was he doing in his room? Before he could try and think of the possible ways he could have ended up in his friend's room, he was cut short by the vomit at the back of his throat.

Kai ran, it made him dizzy. He slammed the Duke's bathroom door open and threw himself on the toilet. He empties out his stomach, everything he consumed last night drained down the toilet bowl. Kai groans, tears prickling on the corners of his eyes as he continues to vomit for an alarming amount of time before he stands up, only to fall back down as his knees give out.

To everyone's surprise, Kai is a very clean person. Hygiene is important to him and he always made sure to keep himself neat and tidy all the time. But right now he felt disgusting, sitting on the cold bathroom floor with traces of vomit around his mouth truly made him feel as if he was the dirtiest person on the planet.

So he stands up, slowly this time. His hands grasped the toilet bowl as leverage because his body just decided that it could no longer carry his weight.

Now, Kai saw himself in the mirror. No pants, he was only in his boxers, no top either, just a large hoodie that had ‘BALENCIAGA’ on the front. His hair was dishevelled and tangled and with the bags under his eyes, you'd question if he ever slept at all.

Kai leans forward, opening the faucet as he splashes his face with water to wake him fully. Seeing that a large bottle of mouthwash was available, he took it immediately, gargling the cool liquid and spitting it out.

He looked somewhat decent now, at least he looks a little bit alive.The more he stared at his reflection, the more it seemed to twitch and grow and turn into something he couldn't recognize.

It was him, comically large but it was him. His reflection leaned close, as if it'd jump out the mirror. Its eyes were wide open, hands on the mirror as it kept chanting words inaudible to Kai. It looked troubled, Kai looked troubled.

It got closer, so close that –what Kai thinks is supposed to be his hand– a claw reaches out to him. Kai had lost his mobility, limbs failing him as he tried to move his body away from the claw.

Just as the claw was an inch away from his face, flight or fight response kicked in. Kai chose to fight.

He swung immediately. The mirror shattered, the sound loud which disturbed the quiet in the air. The sound of footsteps grew closer and closer until a figure popped into the room.

Soundless and still, deaf and out of it. Kai hadn't realised that he had been sitting on the toilet cover, everything only clicked when a sharp pain shot through his hand.

He hisses and tries to pull his hand away, only for it to be pulled closer to the person in front of him. It was Duke. He was sitting on the floor, beside him an emergency medical kit.  In between the older man's fingers was a large piece of glass, the tip stained red as Duke placed it on the sink.

“You ‘ight?” The question went in one ear and out the other. Kai sat still, breathing slowly and controlled as he focused on the man in front of him.

Skilled and careful was Duke as he gently took off the glass shards embedded into his skin. Kai's impressed and glad that Duke didn't just leave him with shards of glass in his hand.

The air of the room had tension to it. Kai's mind was racing even though he was physically calm. He wasn't calm, he was out of it. Like his brain had lagged and couldn't process what he just did.

Duke was calmly taking glass shards off his friend's hand, Kai wondered if the older man noticed his lack of input in their interaction. Unbeknownst to Kai, Duke was also panicking, as he didn't know what caused his friend to just punch a mirror.

“how do you know how to do this?” Kai's own voice surprised him, he sounded as if he hadn't had water in ages. His mouth was as dry as the Sahara desert, he needed to drink water as soon as he could. Duke was bandaging his hand, it was wrapped so beautifully that Kai might have thought he actually went to the ER.

“Basic military training.” Duke responds, as he finishes wrapping up his hand. It was done, it was hard to close his hand. Duke stood up, hands crossed as he leaned back on the wall behind him.

He had an expression of an older brother waiting for a confession to come out of his younger brother’s mouth.

But Kai had more questions to ask.

“What happened to your lip?”

“Fought someone last night.”

“What happened last night?”

“You got drunk n’ somebody tried to take advantage of you. I fought em’ before they could do anything. I think you were even drugged. I beat his ass and he in jail right now.” Duke calmly informs him, Kai felt his whole body flush in embarrassment.

That's explains why he was so out of it. And why he couldn't remember anything. That's embarrassing.

He was so weak that Duke had to step in and defend him. Duke had to save him. What the fuck. It was laughable, reallying. Kai was laughable. He felt as if he was stripped of his masculinity.

Having someone else defend you even though you could have done it yourself? Kai felt like a loser.

Duke leaned off the wall, Kai was still sitting. He had expected the older man to leave him but he didn't expect to be pulled into a hug.

“Stop being dumb, okay?” Duke says in his ear, his arms wrapped around his torso as he embraces Kai tightly. It was a hug they both commonly shared, Duke gave it to his friends only. Especially when they needed it most.

Duke's warmth melted the coldness Kai felt at the moment, and Kai found himself closing his eyes as he leaned towards the hug even more.

It felt as if they stood there for hours, just embracing each other.

Duke smelled nice, his cologne was something Kai always associated with him. No one ever wore it other than him, at least he hasn't met anyone else with the same scent collection as Duke. It was strong but soft enough to be bearable.

He liked it when Duke hugged him. It was rare, these long types of hugs. A comfort hug was something his best friend didn't give out often, a pat on the back or –at best– a comforting hand on your shoulder.

But these hugs felt like rare finds. Not everyone can have it, only some. And Kai was ecstatic that he was part of those who were privileged enough to be hugged like this.

They separate, Kai misses the warmth.
Duke's hands are on his shoulders, as he stares at his eyes. They both held their gaze. Duke leans in, Kai's breath hitches.

What the hell was he planning to do? Even though Kai had an idea of what Duke might do, he didn't try to stop it. Even though he should but somehow he just didn't.

“Never let your guard down ever again, okay?” He whispers close into Kai's face, he just nods. Duke pulls him by the shoulders, as he presses a soft kiss on his forehead.

Duke pulls himself off Kai, and heads out the door.

“Oh, the Tylenol is on my nightstand, drink it with water. We have a meeting at five.”

The door closes. Duke left Kai on his own, baffled and maybe a little bit better. Kai felt his cheeks flush with fever.

What just happened?