Work Text:
Three years ago today, you became an agent here in Washington D.C. The team you were placed with was super kind and generous, and since that day they have taught and given you many things, but one thing that stuck out most was that they gave you a family. However, today you found yourself second-guessing all of that. Last week you had to put yourself in the line of fire to save a victim's life, and since then everyone has been avoiding you like the plague.
As you are sitting at your desk shuffling through some of your leftover paperwork, you notice your boss walking over to you. “Prentiss, Hey, uhm-” But she quickly cut you off.
“Y/N, I need to speak with you in my office, now,” Emily muttered before quickly turning around to walk back to her office.
You had no choice but to follow. However, suddenly your heart was racing, ‘Am I about to get fired?’ You kept asking yourself over and over again until you were sitting directly across from Emily at her desk. ‘God, she is so pretty,’ You said to yourself but quickly pulled yourself from the trance when she started talking again. The thought of being fired immediately replaced it.
“Agent, we need to discuss what happened last week in the field.” She said firmly. “While I understand you were doing what you thought was best in the scenario at hand, it was not what we had discussed on the way there. You could have seriously gotten yourself hurt.” You found yourself sitting there with nothing to say. A few seconds passed and the two of you were just sitting there in complete silence. “Y/N, did you hear anything I just said to you?”
Her voice echoed through your mind. You felt your chest start to tighten. “I- uh.” You stuttered, looking down at your hands, trying to calm yourself down. “I noticed that the unsub had the gun in his back pocket” You stopped yourself, that was not the real reason you threw yourself out there. “Actually, Emily, the reason I went out there was because I couldn’t just stand there and watch the unsub kill that little girl right in front of me.” No one knew much about your past, and you weren’t getting ready to just dump it on Emily this very minute. However, you saw your younger self in this little girl.
Emily tapped her desk with her pen causing you to jump. “Y/N, that is not a very good excuse.”
You sigh and clench your fists in your lap to try and keep yourself together. “I guess I just, I saw myself in her. Which I know is not a good excuse, not much better than the other, but it’s true.” You felt tears welling up in your eyes, knowing that at any moment they were going to start streaming down your cheeks. “I grew up with a life exactly like hers, minus a child serial killer attempting to kill me. My parents didn’t care which left social media to raise me.” You stopped and looked up to see Emily writing all of this down. Seeing that she was distracted you brought your hand up to wipe the tears from your eyes.
Emily looked up and saw you wiping your tears. “Y/N, it’s okay. The rest of this will go undocumented.” She said softly, dropping the pen and reaching her hand across the table for you to hold.
“Okay.” You sniffled, moving your hand to touch hers. ‘God, if I weren’t about to get fired, this would be the highlight of my career.’ you thought as the two of you interlaced fingers. No one knew about your deep underlying love for your boss. Funny how in a job full of people whose job it is to profile individuals, that they couldn’t figure it out. “I don’t mean to be mean Emily, I just, I don’t feel like your office is the place I want to dump my childhood trauma out.” You say stifling a laugh not letting go of Emily’s hand.
She looked over at you and smiled. “I can’t disagree with you Y/N, it is not too homey in here.” Emily paused thinking about where she wanted to go with this. “How about you come over to my place after work tonight? We can talk it out there. Off the clock.”
Suddenly you felt the panic set back in. ‘Emily’s house. Alone. With her.’ Those three things were spinning around your mind, faster than anything. “That sounds good.” You quickly answered. Two years ago you would have never imagined yourself going to Emily’s house alone, especially not after the repressed feelings you have for her sank in. If only you’d known that all this time she too has actually felt the same way.
“Well make that a date.” Emily stopped herself. “Not a date- uhm, more like a uh, plan.” She quickly took her hand away from yours and looked out the window of her office. “I will see you in about four hours, Agent.” Emily mumbled.
You nodded your head and brought your hand back to your lap. After sitting there for a moment you realized that her looking out the window was your queue to leave. You excused yourself from the room and made your way back to your desk. “Oh my god.” You whispered under your breath. You couldn’t believe that this was going to happen. The way the word ‘date’ slid so nicely off her tongue, however, the way she quickly corrected herself, and the way she got so flustered had you thinking. ‘Y/N knock it off, stop trying to profile your boss’s emotions.’ Who were you kidding though, you have been doing that since the day you started seeing Emily as more than just a co-worker in your mind. Her brown eyes and her grey hair just always got you flustered and got your brain going.
The next three hours went by quickly, and the thoughts of Emily never left your mind. It was time to go home, and you had a lot to do before you left to go to Emily’s.
Once you were home, you quickly stress-cleaned your whole bedroom, as you attempted to find the right outfit to throw on. Eventually, you found the pair of sweatpants you were searching for and your old FBI crew neck and decided that would have to do. The next step was a shower. It was hair wash night, which was really needed, but you didn’t know what time you would be home, so you had to do it now.
“She’s gonna think I am trying too hard, or well maybe she will just think I did my evening routine before coming over.” You sighed as you stepped into the shower. “It is not a date, Y/N.”
You thought about how Emily first called it a date during your entire shower. What if she felt the same? You knew that was too good to be true. The age difference was not too horrific but the fact that she was your boss was the hardest thing to overcome.
After you finished getting ready you stared at yourself in the mirror. Your wet hair was in two braids, so the fabric on your crew neck around your shoulders was spotted from the dampness of your hair. You contemplated changing your top but came to the realization that it would also happen to the next one you put on. Letting out a sigh and giving yourself one last look over you grabbed your sneakers.
As you sat down on the edge of your bed to slip them on you caught yourself smiling. You were actually quite excited to spend the night with Emily, despite the fact that you were only going there to talk about your past. The one thing you hated talking about the most. However, maybe letting it go with someone you felt so connected to would make it better. Even though you have drilled the idea of her not seeing you the same way into the back of your mind.
You stood up and ran back over to the mirror. Looking at yourself, you chuckled. Hopefully, you won’t let your feelings for Emily slip while you are in her apartment. That was the last thing you needed right now, especially after your job was on the line earlier today.
-
The whole drive to Emily’s you felt your mind wandering. What would she be wearing? What would her apartment look like? How would she react to what you were about to tell her? Endless questions filled your brain until you suddenly found yourself standing outside her apartment door. Most of the actual drive had been a blur because you were just trapped with all these thoughts.
After standing there for a few minutes, you finally brought your hand up to the door and knocked.
“Be there in a second!” Emily yelled from the other side of the door. You heard her footsteps get closer to the door, then you heard the lock click, and suddenly you found yourself looking into her gorgeous brown eyes. “Hey Y/N, come in!” She said with a smile as she opened the door even wider.
You stepped into her apartment and looked around. It was gorgeous, well put together, a little empty, but gorgeous. “Your place is beautiful,” You said with a smile as your gaze landed on her. ‘Almost as beautiful as you’ You said to yourself in your head. Almost saying it out loud.
Emily almost blushed but stopped herself. “Thanks Y/N, I am not here too much, but I try to keep it cozy.” Her hair was pulled back into a low bun, she had on an over sized Yale hoodie with a pair of leggings. You had to pull your gaze away before she caught you admiring her. “Do you want a glass of water? I would suggest wine but I brought my last bottle to Dave’s the other night.”
“Yeah, a glass of water would be nice.” You answered as you sat down on her couch. “Is it cool if I sit here?”
Emily chuckled, “Yeah, I’ll be right back.”
After she disappeared, you hit yourself in the head. ‘Is it cool? Really that’s what you just said.’ Ugh, why am I like this? You asked yourself with a sigh. Emily quickly pulled you from your thoughts as she sat the glass of water down in front of you.
“So where did we leave off earlier?” Emily said with a comforting smile.
‘My past. SHIT. That’s why I am here.’ You focused on the waves in the glass of water. “Uh my awful parents and my faith in the internet.”
Emily picked up her glass and took a sip. “Y/N, I promise this is a safe space. We have been working together for three years now, and you by far have stuck out. Your work is exceptional and I have been wanting to get to know more about how you became so good.”
You took your eyes away from the glass of water and looked over at Emily, who just happened to be staring at you. “Well, uh.” You found yourself blushing. “Thanks. I guess I will continue, but I want to warn you. My parents were awful, and some of the things I might say will probably blow your mind.”
“I promise Y/N, nothing you say here tonight will make me change the way I think about you.” Emily set her glass down and leaned back into the couch. Trying not to let her feelings for you become too evident. However, you have never seen her talk to you in such a calm manner, it honestly just made you fall even more in love with her.
You took a quick sip of your water before also leaning back on the couch. “I guess I will start with how my parents just stopped caring for me once I hit the age of ten. At that point, I proved to them that I was old enough to care for myself.” You paused as the memories faded back into your mind. “I found myself finding comfort in strangers on the internet. They felt like family. Luckily none of them ever tried to kidnap me, now that I think of it.” You said with a chuckle.
Emily watched as you leaned even further back into the couch. You shut your eyes trying to remember things even better. “Did your parents ever-” She began to ask.
“No, they never actually laid a hand on me. However, my father had this terrible rage inside of him. He would come home from work super angry and he would always take that rage out on me verbally.” You found your voice begin to tremble. “I would end up running up to my room to talk to my online friends, but I could hear him talking to my mother through the floorboards.” You stopped, recalling what they were saying.
Emily’s heart dropped, even though you had your eyes closed she could still see the pain this was causing you. “What would they talk about?” She asked softly.
You opened your eyes and glanced over at Emily before shutting them again. “They would talk about me. How I was so lazy for my age. How my 99% in class wasn’t good enough. How I needed to get out of the house the minute I got my license.” You could feel your chest start to tighten again. “All I ever wanted was for them to actually care about me. I fear all they wanted me for was so it looked like we had a perfect family.” The pain grew and your breathing became more staggered. “The moment I knew they didn’t care was when I was 14 years old. I was in an ambulance by myself on the way to the hospital all because I fell off my skateboard and hurt my right arm.” A few tears fell from your eyes. Why was this hurting you so much, it doesn’t matter anymore.
“Y/N, let it out,” Emily whispered as she leaned over to wipe the tears from your cheeks.
You sat up and looked over to see that she had moved closer to you. “When I arrived at the hospital they asked me if I had any parents and I said yes but I begged them not to call them. I didn’t want to be another inconvenience, however, I didn’t know my arm was completely shattered.” You watched as Emily’s eyes widened. “Eventually they called my parents because I was not of age to consent to my own surgery. My father started yelling about how much this was going to cost him and he was tempted to just decline the surgery and take me home.” You shut your eyes again as the pain in your chest got even worse. “I ended up going through 13 different surgeries. I was in the hospital until I was 16 and my parents rarely came to visit.”
“You mean,” Emily paused. “You were going through this completely alone for two years?” She could feel herself filling up with anger, but she held it in. You nodded your head but kept your eyes shut so you could relive the memory. “Oh, Y/N.” She whispered.
You felt the tears beginning to form again. “Two months after I was discharged, they sent me to a private school where I lived until I turned 18. I haven’t seen or heard from my parents since the day I left home when I was 16 years old. I always hoped that in another universe I would find someone to care about me.” Your hand began to shake. “So when I saw that girl in the room with the cast on her arm, my fight or flight kicked in, because I wanted her to know that someone out there cared that she was missing, even if I was putting my life on the line.” Emily wrapped you in her arms as you began to sob. “I am so sorry Em. I didn’t mean to disobey your orders.”
Emily rubbed your back with her hand. This was killing her. “Oh Y/N, I was upset because I am your boss and I have to be, but also because I care about you.” She stopped herself, realizing you had just called her ‘Em’ which was cute, but now was not the time to bring it up. “For the past year, I have watched you grow so much as not only a member of the team but also as an individual.”
You leaned further into Emily, the smell of her body wash was strong and it brought you comfort as you cried. “What do you mean you have watched me?” You asked between sniffles.
“If you haven’t noticed, the reason I have been so concerned and strict with you is because I-” She stopped as you removed yourself from her arms to look her in the eyes. The silence between the two of you was filled with unspoken words. Then, as if pulled by an invisible force, Emily closed the distance between you two. Slowly, she tilted your head up, her eyes searching yours for any sign of hesitation. But all she saw was love, longing, and sadness.
With a tenderness that took your breath away, she leaned in. Your lips met in a kiss that was both gentle and fierce, a culmination of over a year of suppressed emotions. The sicking memories of your past faded as Emily wrapped her arms around your neck pulling you closer to her deepening the kiss.
When you two finally broke apart, both of you were breathless, your foreheads resting against each other. Emily’s fingers traced the line of your jaw, her eyes shimmering with admiration. “Y/N, let me be the person who cares for you.” She smiled. “Not only because I am your boss, but also because I-,” She paused looking into your eyes for some sort of reaction.
“You what Emily?” You asked with a small smile.
"I love you," she whispered, the words spilling out with a mix of relief and happiness.
Your smile grew, and your eyes filled with the same emotions. You leaned in and gave her another small kiss before sitting up. The relief and joy that washed over you was overwhelming. You felt like you were floating, your heart soaring. "Em-ily do?" You stuttered, catching yourself from using the nickname you have given her in your head, not realizing you said it earlier.
She nodded her head. “I do. Also, Y/N, you can call me ‘Em’ I like it.” Another smile appeared on your face. Without another word, you closed the distance between the two of you again. You gently cupped Emily’s face with your hands. You could feel the warmth of her skin, the rapid beat of her heart mirroring your own. You kissed her again this time deeper than before.
Your hands roamed up to her hair and you took out her bun so you could feel the softness of her hair. As your lips left each others, you twisted a strand of her hair in between your fingers. “I have wanted to confess my feelings for you for the past 6 months, but I just couldn’t find the strength to.” You whispered, tucking that piece of hair behind her ear.
Emily laid back on the couch and offered for you to lay on her chest. You accepted her offer and laid your head down on her chest. “You should've told me.” She paused, as she played with one of your braids. “It will be weird at work at first, especially until we tell the team, but after the paperwork, it won’t be so bad.”
“You sure?” You asked picking your head up to look her in the eyes.
“I promise.” She answered, kissing you on the lips one more time. “Now I suggest you stay the night, and we can stay right here because it is very late.”
You glance at your watch to see that it is two o'clock in the morning. “Oh my goodness, Em-Emily, I am so sorry I have kept you up this late.”
She rolled her eyes and chuckled. “I rather this be the reason I am up at two a.m. over some stupid paperwork back at the office.” She finished her sentence with a yawn. “Now why don’t you sit up real quick so I can grab a blanket and shut off the light if that is alright with you.”
You nodded your head and sat back up, allowing her to leave you. She wasn’t gone long and when she came back the room was almost pitch black. Emily laid back down aside from you and you quickly made your way back on top of her. “Good night Em.” You whisper.
“Good night Y/N.” She said softly with another yawn.
You felt her breathing slow down and her heart fall into a slower rhythm. She was asleep right underneath you. Never in a million years would you think this is where you would be tonight. Not after she called you into her office this afternoon, you only expected the worst, but tonight changed all of that. You felt your eyes growing heavy, you too would soon fall asleep. As you shut your eyes you think of one of your 16-year-old self and how happy she would be to hear that someone cares. That was when you fell asleep in the arms of that woman you had always dreamed of being with.