Work Text:
"So, which one do you want?" Chifuyu gestured towards the bookshelf loaded with his manga collection.
"I just want your favorite one, Chifuyu!♡"
"Huh, I don't have a favorite, idiot," he grumbled, picking out a manga from the selection, "Here, this one is nice. You'll like it."
Despite claiming not to have a favorite manga, he managed to pick out the most worn-out one.
'You read this often don't you, Chifuyu?'
"Thank you, Chifuyu! I'll be sure to cherish it! ♡"
"You don't have to cherish it, idiot." Chifuyu punched his arm lightly, "It's just a manga."
'Just a manga… that's what you think…'
He turned the pages, noticing how the creases on the pages were getting deeper after every turn. Chifuyu must've gripped the book tighter around these pages, probably in anticipation.
He tried to pay more attention to the story. Apparently, they were trying to solve a misunderstanding that may eventually lead to a confession.
'Chifuyu must have been excited reading this part.'
It makes sense, he is the kind of person to get impatient out of excitement.
Chifuyu's eyes flashed in his mind. The honest and straightforward guy, the exact opposite of him.
His lungs started constricting. Knowing what was coming he put the manga aside to not get it dirty.
He held his chest, the pain suffocating, as he coughed out pink camellias.
The beautiful flowers… He would’ve been awestruck with their beauty had they not been pouring out his lungs.
Who would think such beauty could be capable of such destructiveness.
When did it start? He couldn't exactly pinpoint the moment it happened. But if he were to choose nonetheless, he'd say it was the first day he met him.
"I can't bring such a disappointing victory to Baji-san!"
His resolve was reflected in his eyes, beaten and worn out he stood there undefeated.
He remembers feeling a faint itch in his throat that he dismissed as a simple cold. Oh, what a fool he was.
The itch gradually grew. Every time they met, every time they spoke. Every moment, every second.
He didn't think much of it… Maybe he should have.
How could anyone not fall for him?
"Please take care of Baji-san! I'll stop them at the door! I won't let them enter the school!"
He still vividly remembers the day Killer Bee attacked their school and Chifuyu leaped off the roof. He remembers watching his back as he charged head-first into the enemy gang.
He also remembers the fondness swelling in his chest at his display of courage.
'I think he's a cute guy. I like him ♡"
That's when he started realizing what's blooming in his chest is not mere admiration.
The seeds had germinated… The roots were spreading…
When he went home and coughed up pink petals, he knew he was doomed.
"If we can get our forces together… We won't be defeated by Yotsuya Kaiden!"
Did Chifuyu know? That he saved him that day. Saved him from himself. He should know. Of course, he wouldn't tell him that though.
He wonders how Chifuyu will react when he discovers what is brewing in his chest.
Love is futile. Even he knew that much. He's not the kind of person who deserves someone as pure as Chifuyu. He knew that too.
"Keisuke-kun, I'll be taking my leave now," his voice cracked slightly, which Baji dismissed. Chifuyu had already left, carrying his new Toman uniform with tearful eyes.
He didn't think he could hold it anymore.
He found a trashcan nearby and leaned over it as flowers poured out of his mouth.
Tears pricked his eyes and he felt his throat burning. Holding in the sobs he continued pouring his lungs out in the trash can.
The sight of the pink camellia he once used to admire made him horribly sick.
Their growth had been devastatingly fast. He was pretty sure they were buds some time ago.
'I'm really fucked, aren't I, Chifuyu?'
He really thought he could hide it well. Hanging out with Chifuyu, buying material for Keisuke-kun's dog house, and exposing the fake Mikey-kun and Draken-kun. He was doing so well at hiding it from Chifuyu.
If only Yotsuya hadn't intervened.
"I would never beat my friend with a baseball bat!"
His lungs started constricting again. He could feel his windpipe getting obstructed.
He had to get out of there. He can't let Chifuyu see this. But that guy is too stubborn to leave his friends.
Then… Maybe his friend should leave him? (Did he even see him as a friend?)
'I'm sorry.'
He can't go back now. He had already hurt Chifuyu too much. He had to atone for his mistakes.
He can't let Kojiro find out.
He had to go through this alone. It's his burden to bear. He will take responsibility.
It’s just him now.
"No matter how many times you try to trick me… I'll still believe in you."
That day, the flowers were tainted with blood.
"What's this? Finally, came to school you jerk? You all better now?"
"Yeah… I'm good now."
He doesn't want to ignore Chifuyu but he has to. He doesn't have a choice. It's for his own good.
So he spoke to Keisuke-kun instead. Knowing well that Chifuyu was eavesdropping.
This is the closest he can come to opening up to Chifuyu without breaking down.
He bared open his heart to Keisuke-kun and by extension to Chifuyu. Hoping that he might realize how much he means to him without having to face him.
Kojiro and Toman are both irreplaceable to him. He wanted to keep both these worlds away from each other. But when the inevitable came, he had to choose.
He hoped, prayed, and begged the orchestrators of the universe playing this cruel joke on him, to let him out of this dilemma… But what is fate if not vicious?
He was back with Kojiro… But what is Chifuyu if not defiant?
A hard-headed guy with enough faith to drag this "traitor" back from hell.
"Chifuyu… saved all of me."
How ironic is that he might also end up being the cause of his demise
It was getting harder to stay near Chifuyu nowadays. The roots had spread so far in his lungs that it felt like there was no space for air left. Every breath was so suffocating that one might think he didn't know how to breathe.
He felt a prisoner in his own body.
'I guess that's why there's a cage in the ribcage.'
He tried joking to himself hoping to alleviate the pain but to no avail.
He was losing more blood now. Earlier the flowers were cleaner, with a few droplets of blood here and there. But he was able to see them clearly.
Nowadays, however, there is only blood. Deep red blood.
The flowers seemed like clots. Only visible if you look hard enough.
He was dying.
He knew that and had an inkling that his mother knew that too.
He could see how she looked at him, eyes desperate and sorrowful.
I'm sorry…
He remembered how his mother had money saved up if he ever experienced such a situation. No mother could bear to see her child in pain and his mother was no exception.
They had an agreement, as long as Ryusei didn't ask her willingly she would not mention a surgery. She was keeping her promise although it involved more pain than she could carry.
Surgery money, that's what he called it. He could get the flowers removed from his lungs. The price however would involve him losing all romantic feelings.
He laughed at himself. How foolish.
How could he live without loving Chifuyu?
He suspected that Keisuke-kun had also started noticing his unusual behavior around Chifuyu.
So he did the best thing he could think of — avoiding Chifuyu.
It proved to be more hopeless than he had imagined. Firstly, Chifuyu wouldn't leave him alone. Secondly, he couldn't leave Chifuyu.
He had to think of a way and he did.
Chifuyu's favorite manga.
That's the closest he can get to Chifuyu.
He started asking Chifuyu to borrow his manga. He would often grumble about not being a library but indulged him nonetheless. Although his expression showed annoyance, there was a spark in his eyes. The kind of spark he only gets when he gets to share things he loves.
There was something about reading Chifuyu's manga that he couldn't explain. He could find traces of his soul sprinkled on these pages as if left for him to discover.
Flipping the page he noticed how it was folded at the corner. Looking at the contents it seems the main male lead confessed to the female lead.
'Looks like he wanted to save this page.'
His eyes flitted to the bottom of the page. The page was slightly wrinkled like it had been wet. Looking closely he realized those were tear stains.
'Of course, Chifuyu would cry for fictional strangers. His heart is that big.'
Chifuyu… who was so full of love to give that he didn't have much to spare for himself.
'It's okay, Fuyu. I have plenty for you.'
Flipping to the next page, he saw a tiny heart drawn over the panel of the main couple hugging.
'Oh, Chifuyu…'
There was so much of Chifuyu scattered throughout these pages… His heart couldn't take it.
Putting the manga aside he leaped towards the bathroom knowing what was coming.
Before he could even reach there, his knees gave out. He dropped on the floor letting all the blood pour out.
He sat there coughing out more and more blood with some flowers in the mix.
The metallic taste felt so strong in his mouth, that he felt his tongue would melt.
His eyes were losing focus, his body no longer holding the strength it did.
His time will end soon.
'I have to see Chifuyu one last time.'
"Chifuyu, Ryusei-kun is here to see you!"
Before Chifuyu even had the chance to get out of bed, Ryusei was already at his door.
"Were you sleeping, Chifuyu? ♡"
Instead of retorting, Chifuyu just frowned. "What do you want?"
"No need to be rude, Chifuyu~ I just wanted a new manga. I finished the last one." Ryusei said, ignoring the slight ache in his heart.
Chifuyu's frown deepened. He gestured to him to have a seat beside him which Ryusei hesitantly obliged.
"What is going on with you, Ryusei?" Getting straight to the point.
"What do you mean, Chifuyu?" He tried acting clueless, knowing well that it was useless against Chifuyu.
Apparently, Chifuyu was not in the mood to play around because he was immediately at his throat grabbing his collars.
"Don't give me that crap!" he hollered. "You've been looking pale like a ghost. What is happening with you? Are you sick? Did something happen? Talk to me, dumbass!"
"Chifuyu, it's not a big deal–"
"Not a big deal?!" he screeched, pulling Ryusei closer. "You have been so out of it! If something's bothering you, let me know! Stop trying to fix everything yourself!" Chifuyu was clearly pissed off. "I care about you, idiot. Rely on me a little!"
Ryusei was frozen by the outburst. Chifuyu was still hanging on his collar, gasping for air.
He expected their positions to be reversed. Him being the one short of breath. But… for some reason, his chest felt lighter. His windpipe opened up and breathing became easier.
Before he knew it tears were trickling down his face.
"W-why are you crying, dumbass?!" Chifuyu was startled and moved backward.
Ryusei found himself laughing. When was the last time he laughed without suffocating?
"Do you want to talk about it?" Chifuyu asked hesitantly.
"Not right now." He managed between the simultaneous laughing and crying.
"But you'll talk in the future…" He said a little confident, "Promise?"
"Promise."
Chifuyu awkwardly patted his back as he tried to compose himself. His feelings were a mess but only one thing was clear.
"So, uh, you wanted a manga?"
"Yep, I want a manga."
'I want you.'
"Which manga do you want?"
"Your favorite, of course!~♡"