Work Text:
The TV illuminates the dark room, various colors bouncing off the walls.
The volume is low since Hongjoong is sitting at his desk in the corner of the room. He has his headset on, but you still don’t want to be too loud.
A younger version of yourself dances across the stage on the screen. You’re dressed in a pirate costume along with your peers. It was a silly dance, but you were only six at the time. You thought you looked cool and were having fun moving your body. You didn’t care about much else.
“Yes!” Hongjoong exclaims suddenly.
Your eyes tear from the TV to look at him. He turns to you with a big smile on his face. It suits him well.
“I’ve finally figured out this section of the track,” he exclaims like a child who just got his first award.
“Oh? That’s great, Joongie,” you smile.
He takes off his headset and gestures for you to come over.
You clamber off the couch and make way to his makeshift studio. Your shared apartment is a decent size, but having one bedroom means your dining room has turned into his studio space. Not that you entirely care. You don’t need to eat there; there are other places.
“Here,” he says softly and guides the headset over your head. You adjust it slightly as he carefully lowers you to sit on his lap. You nod when you’re ready.
Music begins to play in your ears. You’ve heard this track before since he’s been working on it for a while. Despite this, you listen attentively—more so when it comes to the part he’s been struggling with.
Hongjoong massages the top of your thighs as he watches the track being played. He can faintly hear it from the headset you wear, and it makes him a little anxious to hear your opinion.
Once it ends, you carefully take off the headset and set it down.
“I think you have a winner,” you say and glance behind you.
Hongjoong beams, eyes wide with hope.
“You think so?”
You nod. “It sounds amazing. I can’t wait for others to hear it too.”
“Finally,” he sighs dramatically and hugs your waist tightly. “This damn track was starting to haunt me in my dreams.”
You giggle at his reaction and lean back into his touch.
Silence fills the room as you cuddle. Happiness for Hongjoong slowly fades and becomes replaced with your own sorrow.
Seeing Hongjoong so zealous for his dream awakened your repressed thoughts. Watching your old dance videos made your heart feel heavy. It was always nice to rewatch your past self, but now it just feels bittersweet. Almost… painful.
You feel like you’ve been dancing ever since you learned how to walk. Your parents are dancers, so naturally, you picked up the hobby. Only the hobby didn’t stay a hobby.
You got small gigs at local theaters; however, that career didn’t last long. You never made it to Broadway. Although it was never your goal to do so, there was a time when you were hopeful your talent would take you somewhere.
Now, you work as a part-time dance instructor and a full-time accountant. You’re not entirely unhappy. You enjoy sharing your passion with others as well as assisting with finances.
Though lately, your mood has been sour. You feel uneasy, a smidge guilty, and dreadful whenever you are inside the dance studio. You almost feel as if you don’t belong anymore. You can tell your students are worried for you, but you brush it off as being tired.
For a while, you believed that too.
You’re just tired. Some rest will bring back that happiness and thrill you felt when teaching.
Only it hasn’t.
“Are you ready to tell me what’s wrong?” Hongjoong asks calmly.
You sigh and pull yourself away from him to stand.
Hongjoong caught on to your gloomy mood in the early stages. You gave him the same excuses you gave to your students, but after a while, he knew it was more than just being tired. There was something deeper you were feeling.
There was some time when you didn’t even know what got you so upset. But tonight, after watching hours of your old dance footage, you discovered the reason.
You were falling out of love with dance.
You didn’t feel that passion you used to feel. Witnessing Hongjoong’s excitement for making music, made you realize you don’t share that same excitement when you dance anymore.
“I—” you begin to say. Saying it out loud would make it all too real. You didn’t want to believe you didn’t love dance anymore. You didn’t want to believe you no longer found happiness in it.
Sure, people change their interests all the time. Hell, Hongjoong could decide producing music isn’t his cup of tea anymore and switch to playing tennis.
But if you admit how you feel, it’ll feel like you’ve lost a part of yourself. Dancing used to be comforting. Now, it just reminds you of what you used to have.
Hongjoong stands from the chair to come near you. He angles your chin so you’re looking at him.
“I’m here for you,” he reassures sweetly. “Whenever you need me. I’m here.”
You offer a sad smile and nod. You know he is.
“It’s not that I don’t want to tell you, I just don’t want to put it out into the world,” you explain.
He hums in understanding.
Slowly, your gaze shifts to the TV again. It’s a little difficult to see in this position, but you can still faintly hear the music being played. You recall the performance being at another competition, but this time dress like cowboys and cowgirls.
Hongjoong follows your gaze and exhales as he suddenly knows the problem.
You have this longing expression on your face that tells Hongjoong how much you miss it.
You miss being the one on stage rather than the one behind the curtains. You love teaching, but you also love performing.
Hongjoong steps away from you to pause the video.
You watch him confused. He moves to his desk again, fiddles with the keyboard, and then music plays. It’s not the same one as before, it’s slower. It’s one you haven’t heard.
“May I have this dance?” Hongjoong asks while he steps back in front of you, a hand outstretched.
“W-what?” you question, eyes glancing at his hand and then at his face.
He smiles. “Dance with me.”
“I’m not really in the mood, Joong,” you sigh.
Despite your rejection, Hongjoong’s grin doesn’t falter.
He reaches to grab your hand anyway, pulling you close and resting his other hand on your lower back.
“Then just let me hold you.”
You’re reluctant at first, but end up yielding to his request. The hand not in his hold raises to rest on his shoulder. You rest your head on his body and listen to his heartbeat.
You both stand still for some time, simply taking in the other’s company as the music plays.
Eventually, Hongjoong begins shifting his weight. He’s swaying you to and fro, guiding you ever so gently to the looping track.
You don’t even realize what he’s doing until he starts adding some footwork.
One step back, you follow. One step to the left, you follow. Until he’s leading you around the room in small circles. You recall teaching him these steps one rainy afternoon. Plans for a picnic date soon detoured to ballroom lessons in the living room. After a couple of stepped-on toes, he eventually got it.
Hongjoong is a better dancer than he believes. Although you want to take ownership of that, you know he’s just a natural. Naturally born to be an artist in some way. Whether it’s through producing, singing, dancing, or fashion, he has that creative talent so many crave.
Hongjoong raises your joint hands and carefully uses his hand on your lower back to guide you into a spin. You smile at the action, following his lead and twirling under his arm.
In one swift motion after your twirl, Hongjoong wraps an arm around your back and tilts you back.
You laugh at him dipping you.
Hongjoong grins at the sound, leaning down and pressing a tender kiss on your lips.
You place a hand on the back of his neck as you return the kiss. He gradually raises you until you’re standing properly. His lips are still on yours, tongue slipping into your mouth. The kiss isn’t frantic; it’s passionate and sensual—reminding you why you fell for him in the first place.
Hongjoong pulls away and stares at you with love in his eyes. You expect him to say something thoughtful, but instead, he asks, “Can you dip me now?”
You smack his chest playfully while you laugh. Though despite the reaction you reply, “Fine.”
You raise your arm and watch as Hongjoong spins before you lean him back. You have to use more strength than him to hold him. After a few seconds, you pull him up with a grunt.
Hongjoong laughs and once stable, grabs your face in both his hands and kisses you again. You both have a goofy smile on your lips as you do. It was a silly thing to do, but at that moment, you feel happier.
For the next few weeks, Hongjoong signs you both up for various dance lessons. And when you aren’t at a lesson, he prepares another artistic activity. Be it painting or reforming clothes, he has something planned. He doesn’t tell you why, but you know he’s trying to ignite that creative passion in you. He wants you to be able to be the dancer rather than the teacher—be the artist you loved being. Although the art activities are not dance-related, they can still inspire you in some way.
Even if your passion for dance hasn’t fully come back, you believe you can find it again with Hongjoong’s help. That, or you can let it go with gentler arms.
But with each dance lesson, you’re feeling that happiness you used to feel. You’re falling in love with the artistry all over again, and along the way, you’re falling for Hongjoong even more.