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Red hair flowing as her ballerina shoes dance across the wooden floor. Guns being shot as a stoic expression is held. Their bodies exploring one another. Thoughts of escaping and dying old together. The feeling of her body being ripped away. Only to be wiped and forget every good memory.
Bucky awoke with a gasp, his sweaty skin sticking to his sheets. Another nightmare.. or was it a lost memory? Bucky didn’t know and he was afraid to find out. What if their love was real? What if Natalia never forgave him for hurting her? He shook his thoughts from his head and stood up. A cold shower would do him some good.
Ever since Bucky returned from Wakanda, Natalia has been stuck on his mind. When he came back and laid eyes on Natasha, his face paled. She wore the same beautiful red hair and perfect green eyes. Bucky tried to make himself believe that Natalia was dead and that Natasha was just some look-a-like the universe sent to punish him. He tried, and failed. Dreams of them laying in a bed together plagued his mind.
Even if Natalia was Natasha, how would Bucky approach her? How could he? After everything, shooting her in the stomach, choking her out, hurting her. He couldn’t even muster up the strength to talk to Natasha, much less tell her that he remembers. Remembers everything they once had, everything that was taken away. So, Bucky just ignored Natasha and pretended that she didn’t remember him. Well, that was up until they sparred and he accidentally called her Natalia.
•❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅•
After Bucky’s cold shower he checked the time. 3:48 AM. Thinking it’s too early for anyone to be up, he got dressed and headed down to the gym. He immediately went to the punching bag and started letting off some steam. It wasn’t the healthiest way to deal with stress, but Bucky didn’t want to talk to anyone about his nightmares. It wasn’t long until a voice was heard from across the room.
“Rough night?”
Bucky jerked his head up in surprise at the newcomer. It was Natasha. He should have known she would be the one to wake up early to train.
“Something like that,” Bucky deflected, not wanting to disclose too much information.
Thankfully Natasha took a hint that he didn’t want to talk about it and instead asked, “Wanna spar?”
Bucky thought about it. He wanted to say no and go back to his room but he knew that he had to interact with Natasha at some point. So he just nodded and went to the sparring mat. They both got into their stances and began circling each other. Natasha attacked first with a punch. Bucky quickly blocked it and landed a kick in response. Natasha just smirked and went to attack him once more.
They kept fighting for the better part of an hour until Bucky was finally able to get the upper hand. He threw Natasha to the mat and straddled her waist. Pinning her hands above her head with one hand, and his metal arm against her throat. The pair of them were grinning, glad to have found someone to match their abilities.
“That was a good match, Natalia,” Bucky said, not realizing he called Natasha, Natalia.
Natasha’s eyes widened, her face now showing no expression except surprise. “You do remember.” She stated, eyes gleaming with what could only be described as desire and hopefulness.
Shit. He stood up with haste. “I knew this was a mistake,” Bucky said with uncertainty lacing his tone and quickly made his way out the door to his room.
“Bucky, wait!” Natasha hurried after him and grabbed his shoulder to get his attention. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
He looked up at Natasha with a painful expression. “How could I? I hurt you, Natalia.” Bucky then yanked away and went off towards his room leaving Natasha standing there with her thoughts.
•❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅•
For the rest of the day Bucky stayed in his room. He didn’t want to talk with anyone much less interact with Natasha. Steve came by once during dinner time to check up on him. Bucky just deflected and disregarded, saying he was just tired. Eventually around 9:30 PM he heard a knock on his door. Grudgingly he got up and opened it. There on the other side was Natasha standing with a hand resting and rubbing her arm, looking nervous.
“Can we talk, please?” Natasha asked.
Bucky sighed, he knew he couldn’t avoid her forever. “Yeah.. come inside,” he nodded his head in invitation.
Natasha mumbled a quiet thanks and went to sit down at the table. “Why didn’t you say anything?” Natasha began, “And none of that ‘you hurt me’ bullshit. We both know that you had no control over that.”
He sat down next to her and started to clarify, “I guess I was just scared.” Bucky shrugged, looking down.
Seeing how hard this was for him, Natasha grabbed his chin to make him look up at her. “Hydra is gone, the Red Room is gone. No one is here to tear us apart,” Natasha replied in a soothing tone, “and I’d be damned if I let anyone try to hurt you.”
Natasha then leaned in and kissed him. It took Bucky a few seconds to realize what was happening, but he soon started to kiss back. Once they pulled apart, their foreheads laid against one another.
Natasha was the one to break the silence, “Come on, let’s watch a movie.” She stood up and grasped his hand, effectively pulling him over to the couch.
That night the pair of them fell asleep cuddling on the couch. Bucky laying down with Natasha on top of him and his arms wrapped around her body, securing her from moving. Natasha’s arms wrapped around his neck with her head placed on his chest.