Work Text:
when gyuvin first met ricky, she could tell she was going to fall in love with her, very easily and whether she wanted to or not. they met by chance, both of them at the same random house party with mutual friends during their freshman year. she was invited by hao, who knew ricky through the chinese association at their university. the two immediately gravitated to each other, similar personalities along with gyuvin’s need to befriend ricky because she seemed cool. everything was perfect.
kind of.
according to gunwook, gyuvin is and has been pathetically in love with ricky.
“what?” gyuvin asks, frowning at gunwook. they’re currently having this discussion over coffee, at some cafe gunwook had picked out close to their university. it’s a cute cafe, nice and modern, no wonder gunwook picked it out, it was her vibe. gyuvin was enjoying her time, until gunwook decided to call her out.
gunwook huffs out a laugh, “i said, you are pathetically in love with ricky,” she states again, taking an obnoxiously loud sip from her coffee, “and i’m pretty sure ricky is in love with you too.”
gyuvin presses her lips together, shaking her head in disbelief, “i can assure you, ricky is not in love with me.” this is a fact gyuvin knows, since ricky has only ever treated her like a best friend. yes, maybe their relationship was a little homoerotic at times, but usually when ricky or gyuvin was drunk. ricky is not in love with gyuvin!
gunwook raises her eyebrow, leaning forward on her elbows, “ricky has literally dated one person since she met you, and they broke up around the same time when you and minij broke up,” she points out, pointing a knowing finger at gyuvin, “definitely on purpose. plus, i’m sorry, but you guys have ditched us multiple times go to, like, scissor or something.”
gyuvin splutters, waving a hand at gunwook dismissively, a small shake of her head to go along with it, “ah, gunwook, don’t misunderstand,” she says quickly, jutting her bottom lip out, “we ditch you guys because we have other, more important things to attend to. important best friend duties.” gyuvin stirs her coffee, avoiding looking at gunwook’s knowing eyes.
“like what? kissing?”
gyuvin pouts again, “no, enjoying our time together, as friends do,” she whines, “ricky is a busy girl, you know. she’s, like, cool and popular, so,”
gunwook hums, tilting her head out of curiosity, like a puppy, cocking an eyebrow, “has ricky ever ditched you for someone cooler, or popular?”
“well, no,” gyuvin mumbles, “i think i’d kill myself if that happened.”
gunwook huffs, shaking her head, “kim gyuvin, you are down so bad for ricky,” she says as she runs a hand through her hair, combing through her dark hair, recently chopped into a wolf cut, which gyuvin hates to admit, makes her look really good. fuck gunwook!
gyuvin sighs, wistfully, “i am,” she admits, sipping on her coffee, looking at gunwook with a small shrug, “number one dumbest lesbian ever, i know she doesn’t like me back.” she points a finger at herself.
gunwook sucks her teeth, shaking her head, “nah, you both are idiots,” she smiles, leaning back in her seat, arms crossed over her chest, “maybe i can be number three dumb lesbian.”
gyuvin snorts, “yeah, definitely. remind me, how long did it take for you to confess to junhyeon?” she asks, crossing her arms over her chest, bringing a hand up to adjust the sleeves of her cardigan.
gunwook frowns at gyuvin, “low blow, stupid lesbian number one.”
they finish up their coffee and sweets, chatting a little more before ultimately deciding to leave, not wanting to intrude on the poor workers' time more than they already have. they make an exit together, catching up a little bit more before parting ways, something about needing to end their day early because junhyeon’s home alone, and if she spends too much time alone she gets sad. gyuvin thinks they’re really weird.
she doesn’t have much time to process gunwook and junhyeon’s weird, freaky relationship before her phone vibrates in her hand.
치즈냥이 - 2:36 PM
gyubing
come over
miss u :( rickys lonely without u
as if it’s the most important thing in the world, gyuvin books it to ricky’s place, and in a heartbeat is knocking loudly on her door, wiping the small beads of sweat that manifest under her bangs. it’s only a moment before the older comes to greet her with a smile on her face, “someones excited.”
gyuvin shakes her head. she steps inside to toe off her shoes, sliding into ricky's unused slippers that she keeps there just for gyuvin to use, “to see you? never.” she mumbles as she smooths down her dress, the chill of ricky's apartment hitting her bare legs.
ricky hums, “you’re the one who, what, ran here?” she teases, tilting her head, a knowing smile on her face.
gyuvin makes a noise of disagreement loudly as she shuffles to ricky's room, flopping down on her bed, “maybe i ran, maybe i didn’t.” is all gyuvin says before she has a blanket tossed on her lap, looking up at ricky with furrowed eyebrows.
“you looked cold,” ricky shrugs, “and i could totally see your panties.” ricky adds on, moving to lay next to gyuvin.
gyuvin playfully gasps, smacking ricky’s chest with little force, “absolutely not, my dress isn’t short enough for that. so, not only are you a liar,” poking her finger to rickys chest, “but you’re also a pervert.”
ricky nods, “oh yeah, i want to see kim gyuvins panties.” she deadpans, which only makes gyuvin a little hopeful, a little voice in the back of her head nearly screaming yes ricky look at my panties!!!!!!
she resists what she wants to say, “enough with this nonsense,” gyuvin whines, spreading the blanket out over her lap, “what’d you call me here for, ricky?”
ricky shrugs, reaching over to mess with one of gyuvins loose braids, curling it around her finger, “missed you,” she says softly, looking at gyuvin as she rests her head back on the headboard, “figured we could watch a movie and cuddle, maybe? ricky had a hard rehersal day, need gyuvinnie cuddles.”
gyuvin giggles, pouting her lips in an overexaggerated way, “my poor ricky, let me cuddle your pain away.” she rolls over, wrapping her arms around ricky, who scoots down to accommodate to the cuddles, allowing gyuvin to rest her head on her chest. they settle on some animated movie, interesting enough to calm gyuvin down once she feels rickys fingers in her hair, again, this time her blunt nails scratch against gyuvin’s scalp.
the night continues on, and gyuvin ends up staying the night, falling asleep halfway into their second movie. ricky sleeps next to her, like any good friend would.
˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖
gyuvin is struggling. she’s changed through so many different outfits now, which confuses her internally, since she rarely has trouble finding something to wear for rickys concerts.
from behind her, gunwook sighs loudly, “gyuvin, seriously,” she mumbles, sitting up from where she was lying on the bed, “it’s just ricky, we go like every week, just wear a fucking shirt and jeans, please.”
gyuvin shakes her head quickly, turning around to show gunwook her outfit choices, “oversized sweater and skirt, or casual summer dress with cardigan?”
gunwook splutters, shrugging her shoulders, blinking at gyuvin in confusion, “why me? i’m sure ricky will like whatever you wear.”
“you are so annoying and unhelpful, you hate me and want me dead,” gyuvin whines, pouting, “you’re both, like, futch so you should know what ricky likes. clearly.”
gyuvin settles on the first outfit, with no thanks to gunwook. gyuvin had to pick her outfit by herself, since gunwook was rushing like if they didn’t make it soon they would miss the concert, when they had literally two hours. but, it’s fine, everything is fine.
they’re out of the door soon after, gunwook continuing to bicker with gyuvin about how long they took. gyuvin tunes her out, more focused on how she gets to see ricky on stage soon, how hot ricky is when she plays bass, and how gyuvin got dressed up For Her. besides gunwooks complaints, they make it to the bar that rickys band is playing at quite early, immediately darting to the back of the bar to join the rest of their friend group.
“gyuvin!” hanbin calls, with a big smile on her face, “you look cute tonight, did you bring a date?”
before gyuvin can answer, gunwook interrupts her, “no, she got dressed up for ricky, who she sees literally everyday.” frowning as she sits, leaving the spot next to her open for gyuvin.
gyuvin sits down next to gunwook, lightly punching gunwook’s arm as she sits, “she’s lying, i just wanted to look cute tonight, i can’t just feel cute for myself? so outdated of you, gunwook-ah.”
hao snorts, shaking her head knowingly, which earns an elbow nudge from hanbin, “of course you can feel cute for yourself,” hanbin smiles, tilting her head slightly, “you always look cute, our gyuvin.” she says cheerfully, quietly clapping her hands together.
taerae clears her throat, leaning her elbows on the table, “why does gunwook think you dressed up for ricky?” she asks, already knowing the answer, a sly smile crossing her face, “could it have something to do with your feelings for ricky?”
“oh my god, gunwook, did you tell everyone?” gyuvin whines, groaning in agony as she folds her arms down on the table, resting her forehead where her arms lay, praying something strikes both her and gunwook down.
matty, hesitantly, speaks up, “no, gyuvin, it’s just really obvious.”
gyuvin whines, lifting her head up, lifting a hand to fix her bangs, “how is it obvious to all of you? someone tell me.”
the table goes silent for a moment, everyone staring and blinking at each other, silently uging someone to speak up soon. finally, hao sighs dramatically, “you follow her around like a lost puppy, kind of, like, you always have to be around ricky.”
before gyuvin can protest, taerae speaks up, “and you guys kind of go on dates. the dinners, movie nights, all of that.. you guys are practically dating but without the label, because neither of you are bold enough to say you like the other.”
gyuvin pauses, puffing her cheeks out as she takes in both hao and taerae’s words. when someone puts it like that, yeah, maybe it sounds like they have been dating all this time, but she knows ricky doesn’t feel the same as her. it makes her feel only a little stupid, knowing her love is unrequited. she lets out a quiet sigh.
“gyuvin, are you okay?” gunwook whispers, worried brows pinching together as she looks at gyuvin, nudging her arm softly with her elbow.
gyuvin nods slowly, moving her hair behind her shoulder, letting out a deep breath as she looks up with a smile, “well, at least jiwoong is still single, right hanbin? she can’t get into a relationship before me, i think i would kill myself.”
“oh no, gyuvin, she—”
mic taps fill the bar, and all heads turn at the noise, eyes on ricky and her band on the small stage. quickly, the entirety of their group shuffles out of the booth, scrambling to join the crowd in front of the stage. things go as normal, the band introduces themselves, and they play a few of their regular songs.
they’re about four songs into their set, when their singer, seunghwan, speaks up, “um, so, we have a new song,” she says, gesturing to ricky, a smile on her face, “our bassist, ricky, wrote it recently, and it means a lot to her, so… you all are the first to hear it!” she opens her hands out to the crowd, who cheer back at her.
gunwook nudges gyuvin from where they stand, bending down slightly, just enough to whisper in gyuvin’s ear, “new song? did you know ricky was writing a song?”
gyuvin nods with a noise of affirmation, “yeah, but she refused to tell me what it’s about. which she doesn’t usually do, so it must be really personal.” she nods, ignoring gunwooks pointed stare.
the song starts. it’s slow, clearly inspired by the r&b ricky listens to a lot. gyuvin gently and slowly sways her head to the songs slow beat, eyes closed as she takes in something so important to ricky, a very beautiful song.
gunwook nudges gyuvin again, harder this time, “um, friend,” she says, leaning close to gyuvins ear, “i’m pretty fucking sure this song is about you.”
gyuvin laughs, shaking her head, waving her hand dismissively. she listens to the lyrics closely now, something about being too afraid to lose somebody close, and not wanting to ruin what they have, since what they have now is perfect. surely, gunwook is just losing her mind. but it all begins to click, when the next lyrics are about the nights spent together and how they’re orbiting around each other, always together.
the song ends, and gyuvin is frozen, clapping her hands slowly like a wind up toy that’s back to winding down. gunwook stares at her, mouth opening and closing awkwardly as she figures out what to say, “so.. i think that was about you.”
gyuvin turns on her heel, wrapping a hand around gunwooks arm, practically dragging gunwook back to their booth, excusing themselves from their friend group as the band starts up their regular setlist again, “that could’ve been about anyone. i mean, ricky and kotone broke up somewhat recently, like–”
“gyuvin, seriously,” gunwook frowns, looking from the stage to gyuvin, pulling her lips in a tight line, “i really, really think it’s about you.”
gyuvin lets out a deep breath, shoulders deflating. she lays her head down on the table, cheek resting against the sleek wood, squished up against the hardness of the table, “please don’t get my hopes up, gunwook,” gyuvin sits up again after a moment, eyes on gunwook, “it just hurts. it really, really hurts. i’d rather just not think about it. surely you understand?”
gunwook hesitantly nods, bringing a hand to rest on top of gyuvin’s, running her thumb across the back of gyuvins hand. gunwook would understand, and gyuvin knows this, considering she yearned a lot longer and went through more with her current girlfriend, junhyeon, than gyuvin has with ricky.
once the show ends, the rest of the friend group make their way back over, ordering another round of drinks for the table. hanbin is the first to speak, clearing her throat, “gyuvinnie, did you know about rickys new song?”
gyuvin nods slowly with a sigh, “yeah, but not the details or what it was about.” is all she says. and that’s enough to end the conversation right there.
eventually, ricky makes her way out, walking towards the table with a small smile, attempting to keep her “cool” image for the small crowd. even with no smile, it’s no fair, ricky with her pretty black hair in a bun, and her stupid cargos, and her stupid flannel, and—
“gyuvinnie!” ricky calls cheerfully, wrapping her arms around gyuvin, resting her cheek on top of her head, “and the rest of you, hello, i guess.”
“wow,” taerae deadpans, smile leaving her face as quickly as it came, “nice to see you too, ricky. good show, ricky. it’s been so long since we’ve seen each other, ricky.” taerae frowns, using one finger to push her glasses up.
ricky stands up straight again, freeing gyuvin from her hold to cover her mouth as she laughs, “sorry, taerae.”
ricky sits next to gyuvin, who immediately offers her a sip of her beer. ricky quickly shakes her head, shooting a small smile to gyuvin, “all yours.”
gyuvin smiles back, shoving ricky gently with her shoulder. she takes another small sip of beer, tuning back into whatever conversation everyone else is having. while talking to friends and drinking, it doesn’t take long until gyuvin, chronic lightweight, starts to feel properly intoxicated. hesitantly, she taps on ricky’s shoulder, pouting at the older, “ricky, i feel icky.”
ricky frowns, bringing her fingers up to pinch gyuvin’s red cheeks, “i can tell, you’re so red,” ricky moves to grab gyuvin’s drink, sliding it away from gyuvin, causing gyuvin to whine, “big dummy, let's go home.”
gyuvin stands alongside ricky, greeting their friends a quick goodbye, making a quick exit from the bar. gyuvin laughs softly to herself, and when gyuvin notices ricky giving her a confused look, she clarifies, “gunwookie said something about us always ditching the group to go hang out. it’s funny because that’s what we’re doing now.”
ricky nods, wrapping an arm around gyuvin’s shoulder, “i ditch them because i want to hang out with you, obviously. you ditch them because you want to hang out with me. perfect match.” ricky says, smiling to herself, “hey, what’d you think of the new song?”
gyuvin hums, dramatically tapping her finger on her chin, for good measure, “it was really good, it seemed really…”
“really what?”
“personal?” gyuvin settles on, glancing over at ricky. “romantic, in a way.”
ricky smiles, nodding, “i can be romantic sometimes, gyubing.”
“you can, really,” gyuvin affirms, looking over at ricky, “you’re a romantic sap.”
ricky laughs, shaking her head. they walk together in comfortable silence as they get to ricky’s apartment, ricky moving her arm from gyuvin’s in order to unlock her apartment. it’s a routine: gyuvin takes off her shoes, puts on the slippers ricky doesn’t use, and then lays in ricky's bed. it’s a routine that easily goes unspoken.
gyuvin sits on ricky’s bed, looking at the older girl, ricky furrowing her eyebrows at gyuvin, “need sleep clothes, dummy.” gyuvin reminds ricky, who immediately moves to get gyuvin a spare pair of shirt and shorts.
once gyuvin’s all ready, she crawls up to ricky’s pillows, laying her head down on one that smells the most like ricky, the scent of her expensive shampoo filling gyuvins nose, immediately sending gyuvin into a happier state of mind.
being in ricky’s bed while intoxicated is enough to nearly push gyuvin to sleep, almost fully asleep only to wake up once the bed dips beside her. ricky wraps her arms around gyuvin, pressing her chest flush to gyuvin’s back, “it’s just me, go back to bed.”
and gyuvin does.
˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖
it’s a friday night, and hanbin decides to host a small get together. any time now, ricky should text her that she’s here, coming to pick her up like usual so they can walk together. ever since their friends pointed out how ricky and gyuvin are practically attached at the hip, gyuvin hasn’t stopped thinking about it. it’s a little pathetic, is what she’s determined from all of this deep thinking of hers.
it’s not like she’s been shamelessly pining for ages and holding herself back from doing anything else! gyuvin dated a girl, minji, for a few months, and things went well. she’s also not a stranger to hook ups! while she may have a very pathetic crush on ricky, she isn’t restricting herself from seeing other people.
and gyuvin has been nothing but supportive of who ricky chooses to date. ricky dated kotone for nearly a year, until they randomly broke up, for a reason ricky doesn’t ever want get into, shutting down gyuvin’s nosiness whenever she brings it up. gyuvin also knows that, affectionately, ricky is a little bit of a slut. no shame! gyuvin is a girls girl! but, she knows ricky can get around sometimes, especially after shows, and at parties.
maybe it makes gyuvin feel a little sad when she thinks about it for too long, but ricky is her best friend before her crush. and as ricky’s best friend, gyuvin feels that it’s her job to support everything that ricky does.
gyuvin snaps out of her ricky induced haze when her phone loudly goes off. with a small sigh, she swipes it from the table, glancing at her notifications.
치즈냥이 - 4:20 PM
im outside
come quick
she grabs her phone and lip tint, throwing both in her tote before walking outside, eager to meet ricky.
and, oh, she’s fucked. ricky is in this sleeveless tank, which shows off her arms. she looks so hot, gyuvin might just die instantly.
“gyuvin-ah?” ricky says, staring at gyuvin, who's looking at ricky like a deer caught in headlights.
gyuvin shakes her head, snapping herself out of her second ricky induced haze of the day, practically skipping over to the other girl, “sorry, sorry,” she giggles, brushing her hair off her shoulder, “i’m such a dummy, i was thinking about, um, if i locked my door or not.”
ricky smiles, offering gyuvin her arm, who takes it easily. they go on their way, arms linked. gyuvin lets out a small sound of realization, freeing her arm to dig in her bag, grabbing her lip tint. she applies it haphazardly, praying it looks good due to lack of mirror and rusty skill.
“does this look like shit?” gyuvin turns her head, ricky’s eyes already on her, the softest pink dusting her cheeks as she looks at gyuvin.
ricky blinks, “here, let me,” she brings her thumb up to her tongue, then to gyuvin’s lip, wiping at the excess tint that gyuvin applied. time moves in slow motion, gyuvin trying not to lose her mind in the middle of the street, and especially not in front of ricky. “there. got it before it was stained.”
gyuvins cheeks heat up, quickly turning away so ricky can’t to see the blush creeping up on gyuvins cheeks at a rapid pace, “thank you, ricky.”
they continue on like normal, gyuvin only mildly freaking out in her head. there is light at the end of the tunnel, as they approach hanbin’s door and ring the doorbell. hanbin quickly lets them in, “so glad you’re here! you guys know the drill.” and, just as quickly as she came, hanbin is rushing away again.
ricky and gyuvin make their way into the living room, gyuvin ignoring gunwook’s pointed look as she walks in with ricky. they settle on the couch, “why’s hanbinnie in such a rush?” gyuvin asks, adjusting her dress, smoothing it out over the tops of her thighs, shivering a bit at the cold.
hao tilts her head, “hanbin is in a rush?”
“yeah, we walked in and she was gone, like, immediately.” ricky says as she reaches over gyuvin, grabbing one of the few available throw blankets, opening it and spreading it across gyuvin’s lap.
gunwook hums from where she sits, knowingly, before hao sighs, “i’m going to kill her,” hao says as she stands, “she’s attempting to prepare dinner, but i told her she needs to just order take out, it’s- yeah.” she grumbles, stepping out of the living room and into the kitchen, away from everyone else.
gyuvin snorts, shaking her head, “what’s hanbinnie attempting to cook?”
“dunno, i thought we would be having ramyeon like usual,” taerae shrugs, picking at her nails, uninterested, “i guess she wanted to get more experimental.”
matty groans from beside taerae, throwing herself over taerae’s lap, “i hope hanbin gives up and orders from that really good chicken place near here.” she whines, clasping her hands together in prayer.
gunwook fake gags, “you guys are disgusting, shameless PDA,” she shakes her head, crossing her arms over her chest, “thank god hao and hanbin aren’t in the room, they can’t keep their hands off of each other for more than two seconds.”
“who can’t keep their hands off of eachother for more than two seconds?” hanbin asks , genuinely curious as she walks in the room, hao trailing behind her, “gyuvin and ricky?”
gyuvin quickly denies, shaking her head, “nuh uh, ricky and i are very normal,” she says, waving her hands as she shakes her head, “besides, we’re not even dating so we’re exempt from this conversation, right, ricky?”
gyuvin turns to look at ricky, who nods wordlessly, eyes fixed on the blanket gyuvin is under.
“right, well,” hanbin pulls out her phone, clearing her throat, “we’re ordering from–”
“the chicken place?” matty asks, sitting up straight from taerae’s lap, eyes wide and pleading as they look at hanbin, “please, please say the chicken place.”
hanbin furrows her brows at matty, concern written all over her face as she nods, handing her phone to her, who immediately thanks hanbin over, and over, and over again.
the phone is passed around, gyuvin quickly putting hers and ricky’s order in before handing the phone back. at her side, she notices ricky’s silence, turning her head, “ricky,” she whispers, poking ricky’s thigh with the tip of her finger, “are you feeling okay?”
ricky nods, bringing a hand to rest on top of gyuvin’s, thumbing at the soft skin of the back of her hand, “just listening to everyone. you, mostly.”
gyuvin rolls her eyes, smiling at ricky, nudging her gently with her shoulder. she turns back to the group, allowing ricky to play with her fingers, squeeze her hand, whatever she wants to do. like always, conversation flows easily between the friend group, jumping from topic to topic easily. though, at some point, ricky’s phone starts buzzing next to gyuvin’s leg, causing her to jump slightly at the feeling of the vibrations against her.
ricky apologizes quickly, grabbing her phone to check what the buzzing is for, “ah, i’ll be back,” she whispers to gyuvin, standing up off the couch and making her way down the hall, leaving gyuvin by herself.
gyuvin sighs quietly, puffing her cheeks out awkwardly as she leans back against the couch cushions, mood souring only slightly with ricky not being by her side. she can feel gunwook’s eyes burning holes into her skin from across the room, but chooses to ignore the younger, not feeling willing enough to bicker back and forth about how gyuvin is feeling in this moment.
before gyuvin has any more time to wallow in her silence, the delivery shows up and interrupts any negative thoughts in her head, “gyuvin-ah,” hanbin calls, unboxing their food and sorting who ordered what, “go get ricky, please?”
gyuvin nods, pushing herself up off the couch and padding down the hallway. she’s about to knock on hanbin's bedroom door, until–
“it’s not like that.” is all gyuvin can hear. though gyuvin doesn’t usually eavesdrop on any of ricky’s private conversation, strangely, she feels compelled to now.
she leans in closer, pressing her ear as closely as she can to the door without making it clear that she’s listening, “no, kotone, it’s been on my mind too. it’s not just you.”
“does gyuvin know?” she hears ricky mumble quietly, her heart seemingly coming to a stil at the mere mention of her namel, “she doesn’t know, kotone. i think, no, i know i can’t tell her.”
gyuvin takes a step back, staring at the door, blinking in shock. without thinking she turns on her heel, padding down the hallway, back to her friends as quickly as she can, “i’m leaving.”
the group protests in confusion, a few of her friends move to stand before gyuvin turns, shoving her shoes on haphazardly, “stomach hurts, i think, i don’t know, goodbye!” gyuvin rushes out, booking it out the door and out of hanbin’s building, not bothering to look back and see if anybody is following her.
she practically runs down the sidewalk, sniffling to herself, face contorted in a way that makes her thankful that nobody else around her cares enough to look at her. once she’s determined that she’s walked far enough, she pauses to rub her eyes, only to remember that if she smudges her makeup, she’ll feel worse everything since she’s in public.
frustrated, she continues walking, glancing at her phone as it buzzes in her hand. she’s gotten multiple texts from her friends, but her eyes can only focus on ricky’s string of messages.
치즈냥이 - 8:50 PM
gyuvin????
where are you
치즈냥이 - 8:53 PM
please dont walk alone at night
come back please ill walk you home
치즈냥이 - 8:57 PM
text me when youre home please
im really worried
gyuvin sighs, dropping her phone in her bag, guilt eating away at her heart for not texting ricky back. it would be in ricky’s nature to just up and walk to gyuvin’s, especially with the short distance between their apartments. though, gyuvin doesn’t think she can face ricky, both out of guilt and worry about what ricky could be hiding from her.
though she knows deep down it’s wrong to assume from such a small part of their conversation that she heard, she’s on the phone with her ex, talking about feeling the same, and not being able to tell gyuvin. the pieces click together in gyuvin’s head, ricky must have gotten back together with kotone.
gyuvin approaches her door and unlocks it, stepping inside, exhausted. dropping her bag on the floor, she moves to flop down on her couch, burying her face in one of her throw pillows, whining loudly into the fabric. she’s tired, both mentally and physically. who knew being in love with someone who knows her so well would leave her feelingl so hurt?
after a while, she pushes herself up. she moves slowly, making her way through her night routine before crawling in bed, tossing and turning around the bed for what feels like forever. gyuvin doesn’t need to worry about ricky, she doesn’t need to feel so worried about ricky. at least that’s what she tells herself as she lulls herself to sleep.
˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖
gyuvin jumps awake to repetitive banging on her door. living in a studio makes everything much more louder, gyuvin thinks she should probably move soon. maybe out of the country.
“gyuvin!” she hears gunwook shout from behind the door, earning an eye roll from the older, who sits up in her bed.
gyuvin slowly pulls herself out of bed and crosses the room, swinging the door open, not bothering to fix herself before facing gunwook, “i’m a little busy, gunwook. sleeping, like everyone else was my apartment complex before you started banging my door down.”
gunwook shoves her way in, pushing past gyuvin who grunts quietly as gunwook shoves past her shoulder, “what the fuck is your problem?” gunwook asks, turning around to look at gyuvin, who stands frozen at her door.
“i don’t know what you mean?” gyuvin furrows her eyebrows together, crossing her arms over her chest.
gunwook scoffs, exasperated, running a hand through her hair, “you randomly ran out on all of us without any dinner, didn’t answer any of our texts, and ghosted us all night, we thought you were seriously sick, or dead, or something.”
gyuvin shrugs, leaning her shoulder on the wall, eyes locked on the floor, “i told you guys, i wasn’t feeling well.”
“well i see through your bullshit, gyuvin,” gunwook snaps, staring at gyuvin, unblinking, “why did you leave? and don’t lie to me, of all people.”
gyuvin chews on her lip, messing with the hem of her tee, taking a moment to calm herself down. she speaks softly, “i think ricky and kotone are getting back together?”
gyuvin looks up at gunwook hesitantly, who sucks in a deep breath, loudly exhaling, closing her eyes, “where did you get that idea?”
gyuvin sighs softly, walking past gunwook to sit on her couch, patting the spot next to her. gunwook sits, leaning back against the couch cushions, attention on gyuvin, “i heard her on the phone with kotone last night in hanbin’s room.”
“okay…” gunwook nods, confused, urging gyuvin to say more.
“ricky was talking about feeling the same as kotone, something on her mind.. and she can’t tell me?” gyuvin recalls, pulling her knees to her chest, frowning as she tries to make sense of everything, “i mean, what else could it be?”
gunwook, again, sighs. she reaches over, patting gyuvin’s shoulder, “look,” she starts, “i hate to do this, but you seriously need to just talk to her.”
gyuvin turns to look at gunwook, shaking her head quickly, “nope,” she denies instantly, popping the ‘p’, “no way to casually tell her. ‘hey i hope you don’t mind, i was eavesdropping on your conversation’, like.”
gunwook huffs out a laugh, nodding, “yeah, it’ll be awkward, but it’s probably for the best.”
“why’s that?”
“ricky was, like, worried sick about you, more than any of us.. no offense,” gunwook mumbles, leaning her head against back the cushions, “she left soon after, like really sad. you guys seriously are attached at the hip. we all assumed she would be here, but i guess not.”
gyuvin blinks, gnawing at her lip nervously, “well, maybe, she’s with her hot ex-girlfriend slash new girlfriend again,”
gunwook tilts her head to look at gyuvin, straight faced, almost disappointed, “you’re so dumb, and your patheticness makes you look stupid.”
“don’t you have a girlfriend to go see? i’m sure junhyeonie would rather you be there with her than here with pathetic, loser, heartbroken lesbian number one,” gyuvin remarks, staring back at gunwook.
gunwook smiles as she pushes herself back up off the couch cushions, “nah, junhyeonie is at work, she’s off soon though. and she knows all about your dilemma, so.”
gyuvin rolls her eyes, “can i join your relationship? save me from my heartbreak, gunwookie!” she puckers her lips, shaking her shoulders.
gunwook fake gags, shaking her head, “never do aegyo again,” she whines, “maybe when you get shit figured out with ricky, you can join our relationship and we can all be hot together.”
gyuvin blinks at gunwook before barking out a laugh, shaking her head. gunwook doesn’t stay long after, leaving to go “makeout with her hot girlfriend”, which makes gyuvin gag only a little bit.
gyuvin wallows around all day, laying on the couch and binging some stupid drama just to distract herself from the impending doom of having to face ricky at some point. suddenly, her phone dings from the coffee table, the noise urging gyuvin to grab it.
치즈냥이 - 7:10 PM
come over please
please gyuvin
gyuvin stares at the message, pushing herself off the couch. quickly, but not too quick, gyuvin throws on some outfit, fixing herself up before she’s on her way, definitely not walking way too fast for someone who doesn’t care.
when she approaches ricky’s apartment door, she rings the doorbell, anticipating when ricky opens the door.
it’s a little anxiety inducing.
the door opens slowly, ricky looking at gyuvin, “i didn’t think you’d come.”
gyuvin shrugs, rocking on her heels, “i’ll always be here when you call.”
ricky smiles and urges gyuvin inside. gyuvin allows ricky to lead her to the bedroom, nothing weird, just here because ricky asked, she keeps telling herself. she sits on the bed, resting her back against the pillows, “why’d you want me over here so bad?”
ricky sits across from gyuvin, body facing her, leaning back on her hands, “i have something to tell you.”
gyuvin sits up straight, eyes wide, “i think i already know, ricky.”
“really?”
“yeah,” gyuvin nods, swallowing against the lump in her throat, “and i’m totally okay with you and kotone. i know the breakup-”
“what?”
“-was hard for the both of you, and that song you wrote, beautiful by the way, was for her and–”
“gyuvin, what?”
“i overheard you guys talking, and i’m sorry you felt like you couldn’t tell me, but i support—”
ricky shakes her head, leaning forward, “no, gyuvin, seriously what the fuck are you talking about?”
gyuvin pauses, blinking at ricky, flicking her eyes to the side for a second before looking at ricky again, “you were going to tell me you and kotone are back together?”
“what?” ricky repeats, rubbing her forehead with the tips of her fingers, “how did you even come to that conclusion?”
gyuvin remains unmoving, continuing to blink at ricky. ricky shakes her head side to side, urging gyuvin to answer, “um,” gyuvin supplies, dumbly, “you were on the phone and you were talking about feeling the same as her about something on her mind, and not wanting to tell me?”
now ricky is blinking at gyuvin, who squirms under her stare. after a moment, ricky laughs, bringing a hand up to cover her mouth, shoulders bouncing as she giggles at gyuvin. gyuvin frowns, rubbing her arm while ricky laughs at her, “don’t laugh at me, ricky, you’re hurting my feelings.”
ricky attempts to stop laughing, shaking her hand dismissively at gyuvin, “no, don’t,” she starts before she giggles, scooting closer to gyuvin, “you’re very stupid, qubing.”
“hey!” gyuvin whines, frowning, punching ricky playfully, “you’re being mean, i’m not stupid, stop that,” gyuvin huffs, turning her head away from ricky, staring at ricky’s bedroom wall.
ricky attempts to reach over and turn gyuvin’s head, only to be shooed away by gyuvin with a whine, who brings her arms up to cross over her chest. ricky huffs out a laugh, crawling over to gyuvin, “look at me, gyuvin,” ricky says lowly, smiling when gyuvin shakes her head and whispers something about ricky being mean. ricky moves, swinging her leg over gyuvin’s legs and sliding into her lap, using her fingers to grab gyuvin’s chin, turning her head.
gyuvin flushes, now looking at ricky, unable to move her chin from ricky’s grasp. she blinks up at the older, eyes wide. ricky moves her hand from gyuvin’s chin to her cheek, cupping it in her palm, “i’m not dating kotone,” she says, bringing her other hand up to cup gyuvin’s other cheek, squishing the skin in her hands, “my song wasn’t about her.”
gyuvin gulps, her own hands moving to rest on top of ricky’s where they rest on her cheeks, “then who was it about?” she asks, tongue darting out to lick her lips, mouth suddenly dry.
ricky hums, tilting her head slightly, “a girl,” she answers, thumbs rubbing against gyuvin’s cheeks, “she was born the same year as me, but i’m older. and i’ve known her for a while, and we have the same friends. also she’s more feminine than me, but i like that, she’s literally my type.”
gyuvin furrows her eyebrows, “that could be anyone,” she giggles, leaning into ricky's touch, “tell me a name, ricky.”
ricky smiles back, moving her hands to the crook of gyuvins neck, humming as if she were thinking, “i think you know now, gyuvin.” she says quietly, fingers gently working at gyuvin’s shoulders.
gyuvin smiles more, bringing her arms to wrap around ricky’s neck, leaning up to press her lips against ricky’s. ricky freezes momentarily before bringing a hand to the back of gyuvin’s neck, fingers resting at her nape as she leans into the kiss, tilting her head.
gyuvin moves from kissing ricky softly, to deepening their kiss. ricky follows easily, matching whatever pace gyuvin takes. ricky swipes her tongue against gyuvin’s bottom lip, which coaxes a small gasp from gyuvin. ricky smiles into the kiss, swiping her tongue against gyuvin’s bottom lip once more, relishing in the noise gyuvin lets out.
gyuvin pulls away, eyes fluttering open to look at ricky again, “i’ve been in love with you for so long.” she breathes out.
ricky widens her eyes slightly, fingers running through gyuvin’s hair, “really?”
gyuvin nods, “maybe since the day i met you, i don’t know. but for the past… god, two years? i’ve been… no, our friends say i have a pathetic, stupid, lesbian crush on you.” gyuvin says, blush creeping on her face at her own confession, chewing on the inside of her lip out of nervousness.
ricky snorts, “yeah, you definitely do,” she says, wrapping a strand of gyuvin’s hair around her finger, “i’ve been in love with you for a while, too.”
“but, you and kotone dated for, like, a year?”
ricky shrugs, sighing wistfully, “yeah, but i knew i was in love with you, and i think she knew, too. it’s why we broke up, i felt too bad. and then i wanted to tell you, but you were so, like, here and i didn’t want to ruin that. so, you know, a few months go by, i write a song about you, hope you realize, but you didn’t, dumb lesbian. i was okay with just having you as a best friend.”
gyuvin frowns, jutting her bottom lip out, “‘m not a dumb lesbian,” she whines, “gunwook said the same thing, except she said i’m number one dumbest lesbian ever.”
“gunwook knew?”
gyuvin nods, bringing her hands to play with ricky’s loose tee, “she guessed, no, assumed,” she grumbles, “she was like… mentioning how we’re attached at the hip and everything, and how we leave to go scissor each other all the time, which isn’t true.”
ricky huffs out a laugh, “well, it can be now,” she mentions casually, “or, i have a little something different i can use. maybe a st–”
gyuvin moves her hands to cover ricky’s mouth, “no, no more of that, not now,” she says quickly, removing her hands from ricky’s mouth, “i just got to learn that you feel the same as me, and i already have to process that, i don’t need to think about strap quite yet, ricky.”
ricky wraps her hands around gyuvin’s wrists, pulling her hands away from her mouth, pressing gentle kisses to her palms, “alright, i’ll wait for that,” ricky nods, leaning forward to press a kiss to gyuvin’s cheek, “why’s gunwook thinking about us scissoring?”
gyuvin laughs, shrugging her shoulders, “i didn’t ask,” she says, “i almost joined her and junhyeon’s relationship, seriously.”
ricky frowns playfully, pinching her brows together, “then, i’m glad you’re here now and not with them.” she says, moving off gyuvin’s lap to lay beside her, wrapping her arms around gyuvin’s waist, urging for her to move down.
gyuvin compiles, scooting down so ricky can easily hold her, laying on her side so she can face ricky. she brings a hand up to ricky’s face, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, “kiss me more?” she suggests, smiling at ricky, “i’ve waited so long, so i think i deserve it.”
ricky smiles, pulling gyuvin closer by her waist. ricky leans in, pressing a kiss to the corner of gyuvin’s lips, drawing a small whine of frustration out of the younger. with a small laugh, she finally leans in and presses their lips together, a small kiss.
she pulls her head back slightly, only to lean in once more and press their lips together. gyuvin lets out a small sigh, hand moving to rest on ricky’s bicep, squeezing softly at the muscle. in a wave of confidence, ricky moves on her back, pulling gyuvin nearly on top of her by her waist. she moves her arms from gyuvin’s waist, instead moving to rest her hands on her waist, squeezing, coaxing a small gasp from the younger.
ricky swipes her bottom lip over gyuvin’s bottom lip, who opens her mouth to let ricky have easy access. she slides her tongue in gyuvin’s mouth, licking into her mouth in earnest, trying to explore as much as she can with something she’s never gotten to have before.
gyuvin whines at the feeling, moving her own tongue to move along with ricky’s. it’s sloppy, it’s messy, and it’s exactly what gyuvin had been wanting for so long. ricky removes her tongue from gyuvin’s mouth, bringing the others bottom lip into her mouth and sucking softly, teeth grazing the plush skin.
ricky brings a hand to gyuvin’s hair, tangling her fingers in it only to pull gyuvin’s head back gently, coaxing a small, barely audible gasp from the younger, “you sound so cute.”
gyuvin flushes, shaking her head, puffing her cheeks out, “no i don’t, stop being gay.”
ricky huffs out a laugh, leaning forward to connect her lips to gyuvin’s neck, nipping and sucking at the skin. gyuvin’s mouth drops open, eyes fluttering shut at the feeling of ricky’s lips against her neck. ricky works her way down gyuvin’s neck, mouthing over her collarbones before moving back up to gyuvin’s neck once more, sucking a small love bite into the soft skin of her neck.
ricky pulls away with a smile, something mischievous as she looks at gyuvin again, who must be as red as a tomato even in the dim lighting of ricky’s room, “what was that for?”
“i suddenly remembered how you almost joined gunwook’s relationship, and i needed to stake my claim before she tried anything.” ricky shrugs, bringing her hand to thumb at the mark she left, a faint smile crossing her lips.
gyuvin lets out a small laugh, shaking her head, “are you jealous?” she asks, smiling, “are you jealous of park gunwook, ricky?”
ricky turns her head, hiding the faint blush that threatens to creep on her cheeks, “of course not.”
with a smile, gyuvin brings a hand to gently turn ricky’s face, pressing a small kiss to her lips before pulling away, “i only want you, ricky. i mean it.” she says, nodding her head in affirmation.
ricky smiles, bringing a hand up to gently pinch gyuvin’s cheek, earning a whine from the other, who bats ricky’s hand away.
maybe everything will be okay.
˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖
it’s another saturday night, gyuvin and gunwook are at another gig that ricky and her band had booked. when their friends found out they were (finally) dating, it was no shocker, but more of a relief to their little bubble.
“i’m happy for you,” gunwook mentions to gyuvin as they sit next to each other, taking a small sip from her beer after, “and you look happier now.”
gyuvin smiles sheepishly, nodding her head, “yeah, i’m pretty happy,” she says quietly, glancing at gunwook, who smiles back at her.
gunwook takes a hand, ruffling the top of gyuvin’s head, who tries her best to pull back and away from gunwook, “does this mean i don’t have to open my relationship now?”
“you are so dumb,” gyuvin giggles, using a hand to fix her hair, “i mentioned it to ricky as a joke, and she got so possessive she bit my neck and said this was her staking her claim.. marking her territory, or whatever.”
gunwook snorts, shoulders bouncing as she laughs, “you guys are weird,” she says, scrunching her nose up for a moment, “you guys are on that freaky shit.”
“wouldn’t you like to know,” is all gyuvin says, earning an eyebrow raise from gunwook. she huffs, taking a small sip of her drink, “we haven’t…” she gestures, wiggling her eyebrows up and down.
gunwook opens her mouth in a small ‘o’ shape, nodding her head once in understanding, “got’cha,” gunwook says, “just like.. cause you haven’t felt like it?”
gyuvin shrugs, “hasn’t really been at the front of our minds,” she hums, bringing a hand up to rub at her neck nervously, “we’ve definitely, like, made out. literally first day we got together.”
gunwook laughs, something short and sweet, “okay, fair,” gunwook crinkles her nose again, “no rush, i think you guys will be together forever so. though, i’ll have to call off the polyamory talk with junhyeon.”
gyuvin barks out a laugh, leaning against the cushioned back of the seat, “i can’t imagine you sitting down and offering to open your relationship for me. junhyeon would shit herself.”
gunwook rolls her eyes with a chuckle, shaking her head, “don’t even. she’s crazy enough, she might say yes just out of curiosity as to what having multiple girlfriends would feel like.”
before gyuvin can speak, the lights go dim and seunghwan can be heard introducing the band. both gunwook and gyuvin turn their heads, a small smile of pride making its way onto gyuvin’s lips as she looks at ricky on stage.
they go through the regular setlist, before another song written by ricky is introduced. this time, gyuvin can tell it’s about her if the lyrics about longing and being in love with your best friend are any indicator. maybe, just maybe, the lyrics about making out have something to do with it, too.
and gyuvin smiles, everything is going to be okay. even if she is a pathetic, yearning lesbian.