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chaewon opened her pencil case, looking for a pencil. she sighed over-dramatically, realizing one of her friends had borrowed her last pencil. the girl observed the room for someone to ask, spotting the girl at the back of the class. long black hair, slightly dishevled and her eyeliner all smudged. glittery pink eyeshadow on her lids as if she was trying her best to appear cute, though strongly contrasting with her arm muscles poking through her school uniform. her blouse was wrinkled and her socks were rolled at different heights, her skirt was clearly too tight around the waist.
chaewon really had no other choice than to ask her, standing up from her seat and quietly walking over. well, as quietly as she could with her school shoes clacking on the tile floor. the student looked up at chaewon in what seemed like fear, almost like she was anticipating something. chaewon shot a small smile, trying to calm the girl. it didn't seem to work, the larger girl just staring at her a little longer.
"i'm sorry to bother you, hyeju-ssi, but could i borrow a pencil? i'll give it right back, please." chaewon practically begs, hyeju blinks a little densely. after a few seconds, the raven-haired girl nods and starts digging in her pencil case. a light brown pouch with rilakkuma on it, the cute appearance not fitting the owner whatsoever. she pulls out multiple pencils, giving chaewon a choice.
a glittery purple mechanical pencil, multiple 2B pencils with sanrio characters on them, gel pens and a fountain pen. chaewon takes a moment to think before reaching out for the mechanical one, looking at the older girl for permission. hyeju nods a little timidly, hands shaking. chaewon takes it with a smile, bowing before walking back to her seat.
that's all it took for hyeju to get hooked.
biking her way home, hyeju felt like screaming. after the pencil, nothing else had really happened. besides chaewon returning it, in which hyeju treasures it now. she hides it under her pillow, refuses to use it even though it used to be her favorite. when she can't sleep, she convinces herself that the pencil is chaewon's hand as she holds it tightly. maybe it was wrong. to be so adoring of a girl that barely knows about her. but hyeju knows chaewon, so does it matter?
hyeju knows chaewon better than chaewon knows herself. hyeju spends nights stalking all of her social media, writing down everything she finds slightly important. she knows chaewon's favorite makeup palette, she bought some of chaewon's signature fragrance for herself. she knows chaewon's sizes for all her clothes, she dresses her body pillow in clothes of that size. she sprays the pillow with the aforementioned perfume, wishing she could drown herself in it.
hyeju thinks chaewon should adore her, with how much time she's spent learning about the older. hyeju has never felt this way about anyone ever. she took notice in the girls that chaewon would compliment, so she tried her best to look like them. she heard chaewon liked pigtails, so she wore her hair up like that daily. she heard chaewon liked clean girls, so hyeju spent hours scrubbing at herself until her skin was raw and red.
she always thinks about the way chaewon smiled at her. it never leaves her mind, she imagines making her smile a dozen more times. though she'll never approach chaewon, as her heart speeds up and it feels like she might just die. pure ecstasy, shaking a little when chaewon comes too close. she shakes a bit more violently when she sees chaewon talk to other girls, she'll try to keep calm. 'i don't care if chaewon gets with her, as long as she loves me too. she can just string me along.' hyeju tries to remind herself, though her breath hitches harshly.