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Perhaps it was inevitable. He’s honestly not surprised that the little fucker didn’t stay down.
He’d been on the run, playing the vigilante for what, a month? He looked ready to collapse every second of their “fight.” Which, though Bakugou loathed to admit it, hadn’t really been a fight.
It took the whole class to barely drag him back and he still would have gotten away. Yet, of all the people, despite the yelling and begging of all his closest friends, none of them seemed to get through his thick skull.
Until Bakugou went along and made himself a fool in front of the class. Fucking hell.
Of course, apologizing had been the right move, but it deserved privacy. It deserved to be spoken between the two of them instead of out naked for the whole world to see.
And now the little shit was out in the rain doing pushups in the cement, looking jittery and ready to pass out.
At least he doesn’t smell like something that crawled out of the gutter and died on the spot anymore.
Bakugou stomped over to him, arms crossed. “The hell are you doing out here?”
The damn nerd continued his pushups.
To say Bakugou could tolerate a lot of things would involve a stretch that could cover the whole continent. His patience complemented this idea, which is to say it was barely existent.
But it was raining and he was tired as shit and he had apologized and he had the nagging feeling that Deku was doing something stupid.
And maybe he hadn’t been sleeping for a while. And maybe he had wandered to blow up shit. And possibly he had ended up walking past the nerd’s room.
He did not peek into the room to see if he was there. It was just instinct and he was smart enough to follow it. Because his instincts were never wrong.
Hardly wrong. “This is bullshit and you know it. You’re not going to be able to fight All For One spewing snot and brains all over us.”
No response. He was doing pushups with one hand now. What in the actual fuck.
Shit wasn’t working. How could the guy listen to him one second, agree that he—the class was his strength, was capable of standing with him to face the big bad, and then rush to get his ass sick and ruin it all?
“Am I going to have to drag you back?” Bakugou asked while stepping forward. He was practically a few inches from him. There was no way the nerd’s ears weren’t working.
Deku (Izuku? God he wasn’t sure what to call him anymore) paused. For a moment it seemed like the words were registering for him. The rain slid down his face, pooling together, washing away any sweat but displaying the exhaustion in all its glory. His dark green hair was so long it covered his eyes, dripping beyond his shoulders. His body was shaking and clearly losing heat with nothing but a pair of shorts and an undershirt to shield him from the onslaught above.
It shouldn’t matter, none of this had been his idea, but Bakugou felt the sting of regret, a sense of guilt that threatened to pummel him down harder than the rain raking his body in an icy fire pinprick by pinprick. He was about to cough up a lung the longer they stayed out here. Why the hell would Deku be out here if he didn’t fucking feel he could rest for one godamn second?
And was Bakugou to blame? Was this some delayed, shitty karma comeback just to spite him?
It couldn’t be that personal, hardly anything was with how selfless this prick tended to be, but Bakugou couldn’t help but center himself.
Deku switched to his other arm. Continuing. Ignoring.
Bakugou held his fists back and resisted the urge to scream. “Hey. I’m talking to you.”
“Not now, kacchan.” It was a whisper in the cold. Brief and sparse like the time it took the rain to hit the pavement.
“Fuck you say?” Bakugou sneezed, rubbing his nose. “This isn’t a negotiation. Get up or I’ll make you.”
Another pause. A rough breath. Then Deku stood with a grimace.
What followed was Bakugou’s first mistake of the evening. He watched the black tendrils zip through the air, snapping with the force of green lightning, before gripping his legs and hoisting him up.
The motion rattled his head and he fought on reflex. And below him, stalking slowly toward him through the rain, was Deku. Eyes empty. Gaze unfocused. Hand up, extending black whip further.
“Not. Now,” Deku repeated, voice louder than the rain.
Bakugou was definitely, absolutely, not afraid. But his heartbeat was really aggravating his chest. “Let me go, idiot!”
Deku blinked. He wasn’t shaking anymore. And he wasn’t looking at him either. Instead, he closed his eyes and promptly fell forward.
Bakugou’s eyes widened as his restraints dispersed and he landed next to the bastard. Hitting the ground felt like getting sucker punched in the stomach. He coughed at his sides, forcing himself to stand.
Deku didn’t budge. The freak must have fallen asleep.
Working himself up. What a waste of time.
But he couldn’t blame him. Not entirely. He hoisted Deku’s body up and carried him, grunting with each step as he made it back towards the dorms.
~~~
By the time they reached his room, Deku was awake enough to be forced to go shower, get dressed, and lay down (the last one wasn’t optional). Bakugou came back later with soup, handing Deku a large cup full of it. “Eat.”
Deku took it. After Bakugou glared at him for five minutes straight he took a sip. “Hi,” he whispered.
“Hey.” Bakugou covered his mouth and sneezed. “Don’t think you’re getting out of this conversation. What happened?”
“I was finishing up my workout regimen.” Deku closed his eyes. “Wasn’t able to keep up this morning. Guess I pushed myself too hard.” He gave such a poor excuse for a grin that Bakugou almost laughed. “What were you doing out there?”
“Looking for stuff to explode,” Bakugou lied. “Couldn’t fall back asleep.”
“In this weather? Doesn’t sound like the best odds for using your quirk.” Deku took another sip of the soup. “… I appreciate you checking up on me, Katsuki.”
There was so much wrong with that statement that Bakugou had to blink multiple times to process it. “I wasn’t. You just happened to be there. Good thing I did find you though since you were being an idiot like always.” He frowned. “Whatcha calling me that for?”
“You called me Izuku. I guess we’ve made it to that point.” Deku’s expression was odd. It had an air of neutrality to it, but in his eyes there was something fierce and barely restrained. “Do you have a problem with that?”
Bakugou’s frown shifted down more, becoming further pronounced. “It’s just weird. I’ve been trying to get you to stop calling me that pathetic nickname for years. And now you just drop it? This is all it takes?”
“You called me Deku for years.” Deku took another sip, closing his eyes as if he were in deep thought. “So, Katsuki, how about we talk.”
“We are.” Bakugou felt heavy. He had thought about getting soup for himself. But he couldn’t move. Especially not with Deku’s eyes open again, searing his flesh with his gaze. Something about all of this felt final like their relationship depended on the outcome.
Deku chuckled. There was nothing cheerful about it. “No, for real this time.” He set the cup down on his drawer. His eyes were hollow, dead from lack of sleep and other ominous secrets. “Let’s start with your apology.”
“Okay. What about it?” It had been so cold outside. He still felt like he was about to go into another coughing fit. He ended up taking Deku’s leftovers, downing its contents in a single gulp. He grimaced. “Do you even remember?”
“Of course. I remember everything you say, Katsuki.”
God, the way he says it. “You don’t need to say it if it’s hard,” Bakugou said, echoing Deku’s sentiments when he had attempted the name switch. He didn’t feel he had a right to claim using Izuku just yet.
But Deku was different. He didn’t say Bakugou’s name with any of the warmth or care friends of that nature had. It was far away from the closeness the nickname had, despite its use being completely one-sided and unwanted.
Deku said Bakugou’s name as if he was about to ward off an evil spirit and, unfortunately, that name was the best they had. A last resort. Deku’s glare added to that. “No, I’m totally fine using it.”
Bakugou sniffed. “Okay.”
Deku stared at his cup. “Maybe you should get more for yourself. I can wait.”
“I’m fine,” Bakugou said with a grunt, slamming the cup down to the side. “Go ahead and say what you have to.”
Put me out of my misery.
“Alright.” Deku rolled his head back, then to the side, glancing elsewhere. “I appreciate your apology. But… I’m not sure if I believe it.”
“Guess that’s fair.” Bakugou swallowed. “Is there something you want me to do?”
“No. I don’t think that would change things.” Deku shivered. “There’s just something I need to confirm.”
“… and that is?”
“If I hadn’t received this quirk but somehow made it to UA anyway, would you have ever felt sorry for how it treated me?”
Bakugou hated how certain his answer to that was. It was the crux of many issues he had been grappling with internally himself. There was something about Deku’s very nature that had driven him to change in a way no other hero had. Not even All Might.
Deku had been his time from the start and he hated it with a passion at first. A part of him still hated it now, but not for the reason Deku probably guessed.
But it didn’t matter. Because Bakugou just knew. The only thing left to do was figure out how to tell the poor bastard in the least asshole-ish way possible. “You wouldn’t have made it in without a quirk.”
Deku stiffened. “Okay. Let’s say I had one then. A minor one.”
Bakugou’s answer was immediate. “No, wouldn’t have changed. I would have been able to keep looking down on you and wouldn’t have been able to face my insecurities head on.”
Deku sighed. “I thought so.” The silence persisted and Bakugou thought about leaving until Deku broke it, tone weary. “There is… something you could do.”
Bakugou straightened himself up. His mind was expecting a lot of different things, but he tried his hardest to shut it up. He’d do anything to prove he was worthy to stand beside and even challenge Deku as a rival, no matter what happened.
It was the closest thing he had to conceptualizing a friendship in his mind. At least, one that wasn’t surface-level. Any other way just didn’t register. “Alright, spill it.”
Deku sighed as if he was preparing for everything to blast in his face. “Kneel.”
Bakugou blinked. When Deku kept staring at him expectantly he scoffed. “You’ve got some nerve. That's the worst you could come up with?” Bakugou started to clap. “All those years of me beating the ever-living shit out of you. This is how you solve it?”
Deku just watched him and Bakugou could have sworn something similar to ice had slid down his back at that moment. “Yes.”
Bakugou rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. “That’s dumb.”
“Sure, but like you said. Compared to beating the shit out of me, and well, almost killing me… this isn’t so bad, is it?” Deku shrugged. “We’re alone. And I’m not going to tell anyone. You believe me, right?”
Bakugou stared at the ground. “You’re not the type.”
“Right.” Deku tapped the ground, pointing where Bakugou could see. “Right there. Do it.”
There wasn’t anything forceful about his tone. There was no anger either. But Bakugou clenched his hands into fists at the request. He’d rather get punched, or tortured, than do this shit.
Godammit, sure, it’s the nerd. He ain’t telling anyone. Let’s just get it over with.
He met Deku’s gaze. “Sure.”
He rose up as if he was being puppeteered. He walked the single pace required to reach the spot, getting on his knees. He inclined himself forward, a good 30 degrees. He could still make out Deku’s chest from this height.
Deku chuckled. “Lower.”
Bakugou shivered and lowered himself a few inches more. Deku made a sound of disapproval and he dipped forward even further.
Something whistled in the air before he felt it. The heel of Deku’s foot slammed into his lower back, sending him forward until his forehead touched the ground. He steadied himself with his hands on the ground and Deku lifted his leg, standing next to him.
It didn’t hurt, not really. It was mostly just to get him into position. But it felt like getting punched deeper as if his spirit was trying to prevent him from being crushed.
Bakugou didn’t bow to anyone . But here he was. His mind was having a field day but he decided to just wait.
Deku’s feet were still by his head. Would they kick him? A part of him wanted that. Some kind of violence. Something physical that hurt.
Deku did end up using his feet but not to hurt him. He just tapped briefly against Bakugou’s hand, as light as a feather, before pulling it back.
What the hell was he doing? Bakugou thought about raising his head but thought better of it when Deku brought his foot up so he stayed still.
And still. It had to be five minutes at this point. And Deku still wasn’t saying anything. His legs would twitch now and then, shift closer towards Bakugou’s head, and then they would pull back at any sign of shaking or tension.
Eventually, when Deku did speak it felt like the air was being cut through by something sharp. “How do you feel?”
Bakugou frowned into the floor. “Pretty fucking stupid.”
“Okay.” Deku exhaled slowly. “What am I supposed to feel?”
“Also stupid.” Bakugou turned his head away from Deku’s feet. Seeing all that fidgeting was driving him up a wall. “Stop wasting time and commit.”
“Commit to what?”
“I dunno. Like kicking me or something.”
There was a long shiver of silence before Deku made a decision. Bakugou felt Deku’s foot press against his back. Then it moved, pressing against his hair, keeping his head immobile.
Bakugou frowned but just gritted his teeth. His body seethed with rage but he wouldn’t move. He was seeing this through even if he could easily flip Deku and blast him to hell and back.
Thank fucking god no one in class could see.
Deku interrupted his violent thoughts. “So, how am I supposed to feel now?”
“Don’t know. Don’t care.” Bakugou sighed then grimaced as Deku applied more pressure on his skull.
“You did care. For a while. You kept talking about how I was always a thorn in your side. How I should be bowing to you, or get out of the way and be useless elsewhere. I was nothing but a pebble on the ground, barely worth being stepped on.” Deku sighed. “So tell me what I should feel.”
Bakugou felt the dread clutching at his conscience. He tasted bile. “Power.”
“That’s all? Power?” With every word, Deku applied more pressure. It was starting to hurt. “I don’t get it. Why should this make me feel powerful?”
“Because it just does . Hell, I can’t explain why.” Bakugou sighed, groaning at the weight building against his head. “It made me feel better. Like nothing could hurt me. Whatever, just…” He grunted. “You wouldn’t get it. You're too nice and you don’t care about being safe.”
Deku lifted his leg. “You’re right. I don’t. I don’t feel powerful. I don’t… know why you needed this to feel powerful either.”
“Because it felt good. Having something to kick around instead of facing my problems. You kept coming back all the time and… you just never stopped and… I was curious what would get you to stop.” Bakugou felt his eyes get wet and then started blinking rapidly. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”
“… I don’t know either. I thought maybe if I… placed myself in your shoes a little I would know.” Deku kicked at the floor somewhere far off. “I don’t. I don’t feel angry or sad. But I’m frustrated that it took this long for us to talk. For you to hear me.”
Bakugou sighed. “I know. That’s on me.”
“It is,” Deku agreed. “I want to… I really want to be friends. I want to fight with you. I always have.” His voice cracked. “But it’s not worth letting you hurt me. I don’t care about becoming the best or being number one or anything. If we can’t talk then… I don’t want to see you. Or be around you.”
Bakugou slowly sat back on his knees. He couldn’t look at Deku. Maybe because he could tell from the shakiness of Deku’s voice that the tears would come. “I accept that.”
“And… not just to me. I’m going to say something if you push my friends around. Or, anyone from our class. I don’t like seeing it. That… might not be possible right away. But if you have changed I… need that.”
Bakugou slowly rose to his feet. He scratched his arm. “… sure.” He turned. “It ends here. I’ll be better. And if I make a mistake I know you’ll call me out.”
He could see the tears falling now. He barely had a moment to brace himself before Deku barreled forward, snapping him into a hug so tight he felt something crack in his back. It stung like hell but after how relaxed he became it seemed like that was supposed to happen.
He hadn’t realized how tightly woven he’d been inside. How it all transformed into the consistency of a cloud, relaxing the moment his hands touched Deku’s back, hugging the shaking form in front of him.
Deku cried for a while. He didn’t deserve it, but he understood it. He felt uncomfortable but just hugged with more strength.
Bakugou had always been a physical person. He was bad with talking, with feelings, but Deku clutched him as if he’d revealed the truth to immortality. Deku had always been so hellbent on any word Bakugou said.
But it never hit until this moment. Bakugou couldn’t speak as freely around Deku as before. It just wouldn’t work. “I’ll do my best,” he uttered because that was all he had.
“Right.” Deku released him and then sat on the bed. “Thanks.”
Bakugou gave him a single nod, feeling exhaustion creep up his bones. “I’m going to try to knock out.”
“Me too.”
Bakugou turned and walked towards the door. He made a few steps before something gripped his wrist with so much intensity he had to keep from falling over as it tugged him back.
He shivered, glaring at the black, energetic strap wrapped around his wrist like a workout band. He frowned in Deku’s direction and gestured at it. “Got something else you need to say?”
Deku shuddered, dropping his hand and snapping back blackwhip with it. “Sorry, that was an accident.”
“Humph.” Bakugou glared at him.
Deku blushed after a minute of staring back, gripping his knees. “I can’t sleep. Do you mind… staying with me, Kacchan?”
Bakugou sighed. “You mean… sit by you?”
“Y-yeah. Or, uhh, next to me.” He tapped his palm at the spot. “There’s room.”
“I’m only sitting,” Bakugou warned, reaching that spot. Deku immediately pressed into his side, resting his head against his shoulder. “Don’t think this will help either of us.”
“Probably not.”
But Deku stayed squashed up next to him anyhow. Bakugou thought it would be annoying but he found himself too tired to resist.
He wasn’t one to sleep sitting up, but eventually, his vision started to slip. He had fallen back into the bed curled up with Deku pressed in, their backs facing each other.
It shouldn’t have worked. But all Bakugou had to do was blink once before everything melted away, merging with the dark.