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The rumour had hit the staffroom like a rogue Bludger. Professor Flitwick looked positively horrified. Professor McGonagall, ever the picture of stoicism, raised an eyebrow so high it threatened to disappear into her hat.
"Neville's boggart..." Professor Sprout began, her voice a bit hushed, "transformed into Professor Snape."
A collective gasp filled the room. Severus Snape, always working hard to look terrifying, transformed into something else? A weird blend of curiosity mixed with morbid fascination.
"Apparently," Professor Sprout continued, "Professor Lupin here told the boy to make it wear his grandmother's clothes!"
Laughter, both nervous and genuine, broke through the tense silence. All eyes turned towards Remus, who stood nonchalantly by the window, a picture of studied innocence. He could practically feel, however, the accusing glare burning a hole in his back from Snape.
"Utterly humiliating," Snape hissed as soon as the bell rang, announcing the end of their break. The staffroom emptied in a rush, leaving Remus and Snape alone.
"Dreadfully embarrassing," Remus offered, a sly smile playing on his lips. The way his eyes twinkled with barely contained amusement only deepened Snape's anger. Infuriating.
"You call this a laughing matter, Lupin?" Snape's voice was a low growl. "That idiot boy's pathetic fear manifesting as...me, in those atrocious garments? Preposterous!"
Remus, instead of cowering under Snape's usual tirade, simply threw his head back and laughed, a full, rich sound. The sight of it, coupled with the amusement in his eyes, did something strange to Snape. An unwelcome warmth was blooming in his chest, quickly followed by a comforting tide of irritation. NO. He did not have time for such things. Remus was infuriating. Yes. Infuriating.
"Honestly, Severus," Remus finally said, "it wasn't that bad." A bit of harmless fun."
Snape's pale cheeks burned. He hated it when Remus called him Severus. It felt...familiar, intimate. Something about the way he said it made his insides twist in a way they shouldn't.
"Harmless?" he spat. "Longbottom is already as useless as his pathetic toad! And the rest of the class... seeing me walk out of this blasted wardrobe..."
He trailed off, noticing the way Remus was inching closer. Before Snape could react, he was back against the cool stone wall, Remus' body warm and solid against his.
"Relax, Severus," Remus murmured. "I'll make it up to you tonight."
Snape's breath hitched. "Don't be ridiculous, Lupin," he blustered, but his heart hammered against his ribs. THE AUDACITY! To suggest such a thing...and in the staffroom, no less.
A slow, infuriating smile spread across Remus' face. "Plus... it was about time you came out of the closet, Severus."
"Coming out of - what are you even-"
But the words died on his lips as Remus leaned in, the heat of his breath ghosting over Snape's lips. Before Snape could register the movement, Remus' lips were pressed on his, the kiss quick but enough to silence Snape. It was over in a flash, leaving him reeling, an infuriating mixture of anger, fluster, and a very unwelcome affection overwhelming him.
"Lupin, you can't just-" Snape started.
Remus chuckled. "Can't just what, Severus? Kiss my boyfriend? I think I can."
Snape scowled, but there was no real anger behind it. "We're supposed to keep up appearances. The others can't know-"
"Oh, come on, Severus," Remus interrupted. "It's not as if we're fooling anyone. Don't you see the looks Minerva is giving us?"
"That's exactly the problem," Snape muttered, though it lacked conviction.
"They don't care. And besides, I like seeing you all flustered like this. It's...endearing."
Snape huffed, crossing his arms over his chest in a desperate attempt to put distance between them. "You find everything endearing."
"Only when it comes to you," Remus replied softly, leaning in for another kiss.
This time, Snape didn't resist at all. "You're infuriating," he murmured, attempting another glare.
"And you love me for it. See you tonight," Remus shot back as he vanished through the door, leaving Snape speechless, furious, and in love.