Work Text:
Every second of the day was filled with regret. Every second of the day I thought of the words I could have said. No, the words I should have said. The actions I should have done. I sat at that train station not knowing it was the last time we would ever talk. I’ve lost everything. Just when I thought we were beginning to understand each other, she left. She left like everyone else did. I can’t tell if it’s me, if I’m cursed. Part of me is angry at her, for not reaching out for help, for not accepting my offer. But the other part of me is angry at myself, for not noticing how quickly she was spiraling, and how I tried to play off what happened to us in a bright light. I imagine a hundred scenarios a day. Scenarios where we talked, hung out, and were just normal girls, without these stupid responsibilities as magical girls. I know these scenarios could never come true, but I can’t help imaging what it would be like to hold your hand and just be us, without the burdens of the world.
“Hey, Sayaka, wanna head to the arcade with me?”
“Oh Sayaka~, just forget that Kyosuke guy already, we got each other. Who needs some stupid boy who isn’t even grateful for what you did?”
“Hey, you haven’t been yourself lately, everything alright?”
“Everyone’s worried, and I am too.”
I imagine you. I imagine your smile, and my smile, together. I imagine a world where we went to school together, hung out together, and smiled together.
I’m sorry. I’m so sorry that I wasn’t brave enough. I’m sorry I couldn’t save you. I’m sorry we were born in this world and cursed from the start. I’m sorry that we felt compelled to become magical girls without thinking of the consequences. And I’m sorry that we’re doomed to become the very thing we swore to destroy.
I sit on the same bench we did long ago. I can’t even remember how long ago. I can’t even remember your face. I sit and imagine scenarios where I said something different, did something different and pray that maybe, just maybe, the outcome would be different. Maybe in another lifetime, but not this one.