Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Early one morning, about four months after Sir joins their household, Neil jolts awake to loud clattering in the hallway. It takes him a moment to remember where he is; only the solid weight of Andrew’s head on his shoulder keeps him from surging to his feet. 

“New neighbor,” Andrew says, voice thick with sleep. “Apartment opposite sold last week. Must be moving in now.” The room is dim, lit by the faint beginnings of sunrise. It’s usually a comforting time of day– early enough that they can get away with more sleep and late enough that any night-time anxieties have faded. 

It’s also an inconsiderate time to make so much noise. “What kind of person moves in at this time of day?”

“A loud idiot,” Andrew grumbles, half into Neil's chest.

“Exactly. Are they aware other people exist? What happened to basic common sense?” 

Andrew sighs and shifts his weight, chin digging into Neil’s sternum as he rolls his head to face Neil. His eyes are molten amber in the sunrise. “You sound like an old man.”

“It’s a perfectly valid–”

He’s cut off by the loudest, most inhuman shrieking sound he has ever heard. Imagine someone has created an accordion that only plays yowling sounds and then thrown it down the world’s longest staircase– that level of cacophony. 

Neil lets his head flop back on the pillow. “And they have a demon.”

“It’s just a cat,” Andrew says. He pokes Neil in the chin. “This is not a flattering angle. I can see up your nose.”

Neil tries his best to shrug. It’s difficult, with Andrew half on top of him. “Let’s just hope it doesn’t set Sir and King–”

It is, naturally, at this moment that Sir and King decide to join in with the screeching. 

Andrew sighs again. “You just had to say it, didn’t you, Junkie.”

Later, Neil watches through the peephole in their apartment door as the new guy, clad in a denim jacket and holding a grumbling tabby cat, goes from door to door to introduce himself. When he knocks on their door, there is no answer. Neil and Andrew are hardly the type to encourage random conversation from complete strangers. 

Once the guy’s moved on, Neil turns to Andrew. “Should we stop letting them out?”

Andrew pauses in pouring out cat food. At his feet, Sir and King stare up at him with a look that can only be described as worshipful. “Why would we do that.” Despite the wording, it’s not exactly a question.

They live in a city, so it’s hardly possible for the cats to just roam around freely outside. Neil once suggested walking the cats on leashes instead. To say Andrew was unenthusiastic about that idea would be a supreme understatement.

Their compromise was to instead let the cats wander around the apartment complex. There’s a doorman and multiple security checkpoints between the cats and the actual outside world, but the complex is high-end enough to have an enclosed courtyard with some greenery. The cats aren’t exactly energetic creatures, so it’s an arrangement that works for everyone. 

Neil looks through the peephole again. The new guy’s walking back into his apartment, demon-cat cradled in his arms like a feline baby Antichrist. Neil answers Andrew’s not-question. “Just because.”

Andrew rattles the food bowls and crouches to set them down in front of the cats. “They will be fine.”

“What if it picks a fight with them?”

Andrew lets the silence drag out for a few seconds. “They are cats. Once again, they will be fine.”

Neil shrugs. “I just don’t want to pay that thing’s vet bills when Sir and King teach it a lesson.”

Andrew flicks a slow, intentional look to King, who’s stopped eating out of her own bowl and is instead stealing Sir’s breakfast. Sir, for her part, doesn’t seem to care: she’s busy licking the top of King’s head. 

“Forget I said that,” Neil amends. “They have no survival instincts.”

Andrew reaches for the counter behind himself and withdraws a steaming cup of coffee. He presses it into Neil’s hands. “I seem to recall you saying Sir and King were best friends in seconds. Their strategy worked.” 

Neil sighs, getting his meaning. “They’ll be fine, won’t they?”

Andrew points a foot at Sir. “Knowing her, they will all be best friends by lunch.”

“As long as it doesn’t give her rabies.”

A month or so later, Andrew is unloading the dryer when Neil calls him from the kitchen. 

“Have you fed Sir today yet?”

“No.” It would be virtually impossible to only feed Sir, what with King being a very food-motivated individual. “Why?”

“She’s looking bigger,” Neil says. His voice is closer now; when Andrew turns, he’s standing in the doorway holding Sir. She stares back at Andrew through smug yellow eyes, purring audibly.

Memory is a very strange thing. A frog dropped into boiling water will flee for its life, but one dropped in a gradually-boiling pot will stay. It’s a similar sort of principle for recollection: someone asked to compare two different images will immediately spot that difference, but if the image gradually morphs from the first into the second… much more difficult. Even Andrew isn’t entirely infallible.

It is with this awareness that Andrew turns the lights up to full brightness and gestures for Neil to place Sir on the ground. He compares the first mental image (Sir from a couple months ago, small and shiny) with the second (Sir in the present moment, shiny but not exactly small). There’s a slight but noticeable protrusion to her abdomen, if you know to look for it. 

He thinks of the text Neil sent him a while ago, on his way back up to the apartment from his morning run. He’d detoured through the courtyard to check on the cats and had taken a picture of Sir sunbathing beside the neighbor’s reformed demon-cat (Neil’s nickname, not Andrew’s). King had been in the background, glaring daggers at her usurper.

Oh, for fuck’s sake, Andrew thinks, and scoops Sir up. “Get the carrier. We’re going to the vets.”

Neil: [image18.jpeg]

Matt: aww

Matt: Sir Fat Cat McCatterson finally fits her name

Neil: Not for the reason you’d think.

Matt: …

Matt: Neil u’ve had ur dramatic pause pls elaborate

Neil: She’s pregnant.

Matt: WHAT

Neil: That was pretty much our reaction, too.

Matt: HOW

Neil: You’ve just had a baby. I think the mechanics are similar.

Matt: NEIL 

Matt: THIS IS HUGE

Neil: Don’t be mean, she’s still got another month or so to go.

Matt: NEIL 

Matt: Kittens!!! ur going to have kittens!!

Matt: omg andrew minyard is going to have pet kittens

Matt: how many do u think there will be???

Matt: pls send us so many pictures 

Neil: The vet said if it’s her first litter it’ll probably be smaller. Maybe 2 to 4. But she’s a rescue so we can’t be certain. Could be up to six or so. 

Matt: can we have one?

Neil: You and Dan have a newborn.

Matt: yeh but itll be months before theyre ready to adopt out

Matt: plenty of time for us to adjust and make a plan

Matt: speaking of planning

Matt: WHY was Sir not fixed???

Matt: no offense but I did Not have u and andrew down as the type to leave it to chance bud

Neil: Don’t remind me

Neil: We were going to book it in but our schedules kept changing and we didn’t have time

Matt: and cat pregnancy + raising kittens is much less time consuming?

Neil: … Fair enough.

Matt: trust me bud 

Matt: between dan and I we get like three hours sleep 

Matt: newborns are Tiring

Matt: that being said….. very worth it

Neil: Thanks.

Neil: Also I’m going to go out on a limb here and say there’s probably some differences between babies and kittens.

Matt: also i’m thinking cats are more self-sufficient than humans so that probably makes a difference

Matt: SEE i was getting to that ^^

Matt: we’re so in sync, twinsies 

Group chat: clones + Nicky

Andrew: [image78.jpeg]

Aaron: Oh god not again

Nicky: omg Sir Fat Cat McCatterson is living up to her name 

Nicky: remind me again who named her

Nicky: me its me i named her

Nicky: and i predicted the future, i knew one day she’d be an adorable chunky baby

Aaron: Nicky

Nicky: ja?

Aaron: I don’t think she’s fat

Nicky: well there’s nothing wrong with that!! Don’t shame the poor thing she’ll get a complex

Andrew: She cheated on King with the neighbor’s tomcat. The evidence of her infidelity will live within her for the next thirty to forty days. 

Aaron: Good to see you’re being very normal about this

Nicky: WAIT WHAT

Nicky: SHES PREGNANT

Nicky: KITTENSSSSS OMG

Aaron: I’m guessing it was Josten who forgot to get her neutered

Andrew: We have agreed it was a shared error.

Aaron: Sure

Nicky: can I have a kitten??

Nicky: I will do literally anything 

Andrew: You live in Germany.

Nicky: you can have a kidney

Aaron: You have got to stop offering that

Nicky: is that your professional medical advice?

Nicky: also omg omg

Aaron: You shouldn’t need to hear it from a doctor to know that selling your organs on the black market is a bad idea

Aaron: Can’t actually believe that’s something I had to say

Nicky: Aaron u can use your doctor knowledge to help with the birth, I know it sounds stupid but seriously how different could it be?

Nicky: 10/10 bonding experience for u and andrew

Nicky: and hush obviously I know that’s a bad idea, you can’t take 90% of the stuff I say literally cmon

Nicky: anyways Neil told me my kidneys wouldn’t be worth much

Aaron: I’m going to ignore that

Andrew: Probably for the best.

Aaron: And Nicky I need you to know that there’s a difference between human childbirth and a cat having kittens

Nicky: obviously! but … not a HUGE difference

Aaron: Do yourself a favor and literally never say that to Dan 

Over the course of the next month, both Neil and Andrew attempt to cope with the impending shift to their lives. For Neil, this coping manifests as rigidly drawing up Sir’s medication schedule and creating her diet plan. For Andrew, this manifests as following these schedules and plans, and through buying as many supplies as they could possibly need. Three separate nesting boxes find their way into the apartment, packed with various blankets and cushions: Neil recognises a lot of them from their college days. Sir chooses the box in their bedroom, of course. 

As the seventy-day mark nears, Neil and Andrew grow more and more tense with anticipation. Andrew’s fingers twitch with the phantom urge for a cigarette; Neil starts stocking more nicotine gum and patches around the apartment. And Andrew doesn’t mention it when the essentials for a quick escape find their way into a bag in the wardrobe; he just wordlessly unpacks all of it and puts it away. 

At last, late one afternoon, a very bloated Sir starts meowing relentlessly and pacing around her nesting box. The tension snaps. King, who seems to have already long-forgiven the infidelity, hops inside with her and cuddles up.  

What follows are the most stressful few hours in recent memory; when it’s over, Sir and King shift enough for them to check the kittens. They’re shockingly tiny, with closed eyes and bright pink noses. Six of them. Neil checks all the things the vet told them to: blessedly fine. All healthy, including Sir.

Staring down at them, Neil feels something in his chest tighten and then release. He glances at Andrew: he’s kneeling at the side of the box closest to Sir and is gently brushing the back of his hand over her side. When he glances up and meets Neil’s eyes, Neil knows he’s feeling the same thing. 

“Six,” Neil says. Both of them know what that probably means; if this were Sir’s first litter, it would be less. It’s easy to forget, sometimes, that she was a stray. 

“She did well,” Andrew says. His eyes are back on the cats. The kittens are all nursing already. Another good sign. King lies opposite Sir, purring softly; the kittens are enclosed between them. 

It’s been a long time since Neil needed to ask permission for this, but today’s been a break from routine. He shifts closer to Andrew and tilts his head. When Andrew nods, not once taking his eyes off the cats, Neil leans his head on his shoulder. 

Sitting there, with the warmth of the heating lamp above him and the steady rhythm of Andrew’s breathing beneath him, Neil decides he’d like to live in this moment forever.

Group chat: clones + Nicky

Andrew: [image81.jpeg]

Nicky: AWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Nicky: Oh my god i’m in love 

Nicky: Look at their little noses!! And PAWS!!

Nicky: Tell Sir well done from Uncles Nicky and Erik!!

Aaron: Cute picture

Direct Message: Aaron Minyard to Andrew Minyard

Aaron: Well done, Andrew

Group chat: GO FOXES!!!

Neil: [image200.jpeg]

Matt: OH MY GOD 

Matt: theyre perfect!

Neil: That was immediate. It’s 4am for you.

Dan: Time is meaningless when you have a newborn

Dan: Also

Dan: OH MY GOD THEYRE SO CUTE

Dan: IM GENUINELY GOING TO LOSE IT

Dan: Their little noses!

Matt: u need to take so many pictures u guys, they grow so fast trust me

Allison: aww!! tiny babies!

Allison: how are they? how’s sir?

Neil: All good and healthy. 

Allison: excellent

Allison: where’s Nicky? shouldn’t he be losing his mind by now?

Nicky: dw I already lost it!!

Allison: …someone else take over i’m not strong enough to resist the temptation

Nicky: Andrew sent us the picture earlier, I had my cute attack then

Nicky: also hey I heard that!! well saw it but u get my point ;)

Renee: Aww, they are incredibly cute!

Renee: Congratulations guys, we’re so glad everything went well!

Kevin: My phone vibrated itself off the table.

Kevin: What on earth is happening?

Neil: Thanks Renee

Neil: And Kevin do I really need to explain the concept of silent mode and scrolling up to you?

Kevin: Oh

Kevin: They’re so small. Are they supposed to be that small?

Neil: They’re only a few hours old.

Andrew: They’re completely healthy. The mother protects them until they’re old enough. 

Kevin: Okay

Kevin: Good

Renee: How are Sir and King doing? 

Neil: Very well. King’s already acting like they’re hers. Sir’s been sleeping.

Allison: aww she’s earned it

Dan: She sure has!

Dan: Just you wait, in a few months time they’ll be running around the place 

Matt: the time really does fly

Kevin: Are you going to keep them?

Neil: We haven’t really thought about it yet, to be honest.

Allison: well if you end up looking for owners my name needs to be at the top of the list! 

Renee: I would be amenable to second place :) 

Nicky: ditto!!

Andrew: For the last time, you live in Germany.

Dan: Matthew I can see you typing and the answer is no

Matt: absolutely no idea what you’re talking about, dearest 

Chapter Text

Three Months Later

Neil’s love for running is no secret– there’s probably a joke there to be made about runaways. In this particular instance, though, he really does mean he just enjoys a long morning run. 

There’s a park not too far from their apartment complex: it’s the perfect spot. Huge trees with lots of shade, saving Neil from Andrew’s fussing over any sunburns. A winding variety of routes, enough that he hasn't grown bored of treading the same paths over and over again. People walk their dogs there, too: that early in the morning it’s mostly the elderly out and about, which tends to save him from being recognised. He stops to pet the dogs, sometimes: Nicky reliably informs him that he and Andrew are ‘cat people through and through’, but it doesn’t stop him from enjoying some variety. It’s… peaceful. 

All the smells must cling to him, though. Every time he returns home, the cats (all eight of them) bombard him, inquisitive about all the strange scents. 

It is on one such morning that, upon slipping through the front door, he is swarmed by their veritable hive of cats. Matt and Dan were right about the kittens: they grow so quickly. Neil remembers when they were tiny enough to fit in one hand. Now they’re much larger– still smaller than Sir and dwarfed by the mass of fur that is King, but sizeable enough to constitute a trip hazard. 

After Neil’s finished greeting each cat, he steps further into the room, intending to take his shoes off. 

Instead, his foot brushes against fur: he tries to divert, but he’s already overbalancing in his hurry to avoid kicking the kitten. He reaches for the nearest object: a jacket hanging from the wall. Rather than allowing him to right himself, the hook detaches from the wall entirely with a spray of plaster. 

One thing leads to another and he ends up sprawled by their doormat, covered in dust and fabric, with a herd of cats meowing around him. 

When he manages to blink the dust and fur from his vision, he looks up to see Andrew staring down at him. He’s still in his pajamas and must have been in bed: his eyes are half-lidded and he’s staring down at Neil with an expression of muted exasperation. 

“This is fine,” Neil says. His voice is very raw. When he coughs, a cloud of plaster-dust expels from his lungs and up into the air. “Completely fine.”

Andrew wafts a hand in front of his face before the dust can get in his eyes. Then he flicks his gaze to the hole in their wall and the whining mass of cats around them. 

Neil coughs again. “Never mind.”

It’s late morning by the time everything’s cleaned up. They patched the wall as best they could, though their efforts were hindered by the six kittens attempting to climb inside the cavity. 

Andrew tracks Neil’s gaze for the eighth time: he’s still watching the cats as they play on the rug in front of them. Andrew nudges Neil’s coffee out of the way half a second before the largest of the kittens, the third-born tabby referred to as Bastard 2, is catapulted onto the coffee table.

Andrew and Neil have been together for almost ten years now, though they aren’t the type to consciously keep track of an anniversary. They’ve spent most of that decade living in the same space: devote that much of your time to another person, and you learn to read them very well. It’s a language learned exclusively through exposure. 

It’s due to this fluency that Andrew knows both he and Neil are thinking the same thing. It’s also the reason he knows why Neil refuses to admit they need a change. 

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that Andrew has complicated opinions on the concept of home. This apartment, and these humans, are the only thing the kittens have ever known. Ripping them away from that and forcing them to live with complete strangers is unimaginable. 

However.

“They need to leave,” says Andrew. He takes a sip of Neil’s coffee to give himself something to do. It’s lukewarm; he should probably just get some ice and have it cold. 

Oblivious to this internal dilemma, Neil whips around to stare at him. “What? They’re fine.”

Andrew looks past Neil’s head. Bastard 5, a scrawny black kitten and the runt of the litter, sits in the corner. She doesn’t tend to play with her siblings. 

As close beside her as she’ll allow sits Bastard 6. She’s a mottled tabby, and is the only other kitten currently not trying to climb their curtains. When she sees Andrew looking her way, she gives a whiny meow and trots over, hopping into his lap. She’s the only kitten allowed to sleep on Andrew’s pillow. 

“There are six of them and two of us.”

“So?” Neil says, confiscating his coffee. 

Andrew fixes him with a look. “We do not have the time or ability to give each of them enough attention.”

Neil opens his mouth to argue, falters, and sighs. It is an accepted fact of the household that Andrew is rarely wrong. Now is no exception. Neil says instead: “I just don’t want to get rid of them the second they become inconvenient.”

Andrew looks back down at the rug. It is their third in a month. It would not be inaccurate to say that the kittens have been inconvenient for a while. It was never a deal-breaker for either of them. “That is not what’s happening right now. Trust me to know the difference.”

He remembers foster homes where, if personalities didn’t mesh or things got broken, the last to arrive would be the first to leave. Andrew, with his myriad of behavioural problems and ‘difficult’ mental state, was always at the top of the list. It got to the point where his social worker delayed check-ins and dodged calls, eager to lose him as a responsibility. And so the cycle continued. 

Neil’s expression is far too knowing. Andrew pokes his chin until he turns his head and faces forward. The kittens have migrated from the curtains and are instead rolling an exy ball around. Sir and King are sound asleep at the top of the cat tree behind them. They have a very relaxed parenting style.

“What is it, then?” Neil says. “If we really aren’t just getting rid of them.”

“It is the best decision for all involved,” Andrew says. His hand rests on the sleeping kitten in his lap. “And we will not be giving them to strangers.”

Group chat: clones + Nicky

Andrew: [image89.jpeg]

Andrew: They are attention-seeking animals and are destroying the apartment. Normally I would approve, but I spent the morning watching a two-hour Youtube video of how to plaster a wall. Finding them new owners would be best for all involved. 

Aaron: Wow you’re really selling this

Andrew: They are litter-trained, though they are due to start teething soon. I’m sure it would build character. 

Aaron: Wait I thought there were six?

Aaron: There’s only 5 in the picture

Andrew: And.

Aaron: ???

Aaron: You know what, never mind

Aaron: Also it’s a no

Aaron: We already have a dog, remember?

Aaron: From the first time you texted me a picture of a cat

Aaron: Elsa saw it and thought it was a puppy

Aaron: And I have not known peace since

Andrew: I don’t recall.

Aaron: Sure 

Nicky: sorry guys i just got home i was at work 

Nicky: i’ll backread now

Aaron: 3

Andrew: 2

Aaron: 1

Nicky: OHMYGOD

Nicky: I’ll take literally as many as you’ll let me 

Nicky: i’m so serious i’ve been preparing for this for MONTHS

Nicky: I know every single form I need to apply for to get them brought over

Aaron: Nicky last week you told Kate that you and Erik were looking for a dog 

Nicky: aw you guys talk about me? Cute

Nicky: And AARON dont ruin this for me

Andrew: Not happening, Nicky. 

Nicky: :( 

Nicky: okay fine i *was* being serious but tbh we have reserved a dog at the shelter 

Nicky: he’s called Schatzi and he looks like a fox 

Nicky: I would already do literally anything for him

Aaron: See, it all worked out in the end

Nicky: … yes

Nicky: that being said

Nicky: ANDREW 

Nicky: why tempt me and have this convo in this gc?? very mean

Aaron: Dear god

Andrew: Needed some entertainment.

Andrew: I predict today is going to be a very long day.

Andrew: [image12.jpeg]

Kevin: ?

Kevin: Very cute, yes. Didn’t you have six?

Andrew: Yes. Soon we should have less. 

Kevin: ? 

Kevin: It’s too early for this.

Andrew: We are seeking new owners. 

Kevin: Good for you. 

Kevin: It’s the middle of the afternoon for you. Shouldn’t you be at practice?

Andrew: Neil is. Striker-exclusive training.

Kevin: That’s poor management from your coaches. The whole point is to learn to play as a team. 

Andrew: [image13.jpeg]

Andrew: I did not text you to discuss stickball.

Kevin: Andrew do me a favor and just tell me what you want

Kevin: In English.

Andrew: The cats have demands we do not possess the capacity to meet. We need new owners. You are part of a group who require no background checks. 

Andrew: Bastard 2 is the second one from the right. He and you have similar temperaments.

Kevin: Oh

Andrew: You have been typing and deleting for four minutes. 

Kevin: I’m… actually flattered

Kevin: And I would. But I just don’t have the time. It wouldn’t be fair on him. 

Andrew: Fair enough. 

Andrew: That checks you off. Onto the next.

Andrew: [image1.jpeg]

Dan: cute, they’re getting so big

Dan: Also absolutely not sorry

Dan: No matter what Matt says we do Not have the time right now 

Dan: So that’s a no from both of us

Dan: Thank you for the offer tho! Truly

Andrew: I did not actually say anything.

Dan: I’m Neil's friend, trust me when I say I can understand this brand of communication.

Andrew: [image98.jpeg]

Renee: It’s amazing how quickly they grow, isn’t it? 

Renee: I’d be incredibly happy to take one if that’s alright?

Andrew: Yes.

Renee: Excellent. I’ll be in the area next Sunday anyway. Shall I come by in the afternoon? It would be good to see you

Andrew: That works.

Renee: Did you have a particular kitten in mind?

Andrew: Second one from the right. Bastard 2. Should be a fun challenge for you.

Andrew: Don’t feel obligated to keep the name. He doesn’t answer to it. 

Renee: I shall keep that in mind.

Andrew: [image142.jpeg]

Bee: They are so cute! Very happy and healthy. 

Bee: I’m assuming the sixth will be staying with you and Neil? 

Andrew: Yes.

Andrew: The one on the far left is energetic and attention seeking. He likes to sleep on shoulders and has no concept of volume control. 

Bee: He sounds perfect, Andrew. I would be honored. 

Bee: Would you like to drive up this weekend? Neil is of course welcome. 

Bee: Abby and I have finished with the guest bedroom. I’ve been wanting to show you the garden in person as well– lots of honey bees!

Andrew: We’ll see you then.

Neil: Having water break now

Neil: Managed to ricochet five shots. Mitchels was bright red, clearly thought I was showing him up. Not my fault he’s shit. Coaches seem happy though. Think I’m pretty much done for the day.

Andrew: Junkie.

Neil: Any progress?

Andrew: 2/6

Andrew: Bastard 2 to Renee and 3 to Bee.

Andrew: You should be the one to text Reynolds.

Neil: She’s got a show at the moment 

Neil: I’m gonna stick around here for a while just in case. Will be home around six. Who else did you ask?

Andrew: Aaron, Nicky, Kevin, and the Wilds household. All nos.

Neil: I’ve got another idea

Neil: Sir had babies do you want one?

Jean: Who the fuck is Sir and why did he have babies?

Neil: When a mommy cat meets a daddy cat and they love each other very much

Neil: Actually scratch that

Neil: I don’t think it was a love thing. Technically the kittens are the product of infidelity

Neil: King’s already forgiven her though. I don’t think cats have the same standards as humans

Jean: Have you sustained a head injury?

Neil: No. Do you want a cat?

Jean: Since when do you have a cat?

Neil: How the fuck do you not know I have cats?

Neil: They're literally the only thing on Andrew’s Instagram

Jean: How the hell would I know that?

Neil: Never mind

Neil: There’s kittens do you want one yes or no?

Jean: No. We already have a dog.

Neil: Since when?

Jean: To borrow your wording, he is literally the only thing on Jeremy’s Instagram.

Neil: Never mind didn’t work

Andrew: I am in shock.

Neil: Hey how did your show go?

Neil: Also 

Neil: [image29.jpeg]

Allison: very well thank u, no wardrobe malfunctions and lots of requests already

Allison: also omg yes pls i’ve been waiting for this!

Neil: Your choice is between Bastard 1 and Bastard 4

Allison: ooh do you have more pictures?

Neil: Bastard 1

Neil: [image30.jpeg] 

Neil: Bastard 4 

Neil: [image31.jpeg]

Allison: i’ll take them both pls and thank u

Allison: also i’m sorry i know u find it funny but i refuse to have cats called Bastard, i hereby christen them Mocha and Cappuccino 

Neil: Perfect. Renee’s coming to pick up her one next Sunday, I think she’ll be driving your way. Shall I get her to drop them with you?

Allison: omg yes that works perfectly

Neil: Pleasure doing business with you. 

A month later, the apartment is much quieter. The last few months already feel like a dream, though the loss is softened by the constant stream of pictures of the cats settling into their new homes. And the return to normality within the apartment is nice.

Although–

“Shall we?” Neil asks, gesturing to Bastard 5. There are only two kittens left: her and Bastard 6 (B for short, because neither of them could find someone willing to make a tag with that name on it). There’s no universe where Bastard 6 willingly separates from Andrew. Sir and King both get along with her, so neither Neil nor Andrew see any reason why she shouldn’t be a permanent resident. 

Bastard 5 seems much more relaxed now that the apartment is less crowded. She’s still scrawny, but her fur is shiny and she’s the most content Neil’s seen her. He suspects she’ll soon be truly thriving, though. 

Andrew nods, pulls out his phone, and calls David Wymack.

One week later

Abby: [image3.jpeg]

Abby: He decided on Fox.