Chapter Text
Why now?
At first, it was the all too familiar overthinking, self doubting spell: which is, historically, not too bad. It is certainly not fun, far from it, but neither is it unbearable. It is almost routine. And it continued for a while: sitting on the edge of an eerily polished bed, bouncing a leg, surrounded by silent, sleeping friends (or colleagues, she wasn’t sure yet), as the mind screamed, while the world was silent.
But what hit next was that all too familiar but dreadful sinking feeling, enough to paralyse. Fine, but teetering on the edge of not. And then it got worse. And worse. And worse. Nothing was fine. Consumed by oversized thoughts. Transformed into something they were not.
Thoughts merged into one another. Forming one worry. Everything was loud. Everything was quiet. Everything was invisible. But vivid. Too vivid. Everything hurt. Everything was numb.
Am I dying? I must be dying. Hands, holding her head, trembled like leaves.
I must be dying.
Her hands released her head and she looked up. The room was even darker than before. The light of the console blinding.
She turned her head. The newly manufactured elevator to and fro Long Term glowed dimly.
She needed to leave. Now. Even if just for until morning.
She silently got up and ran towards it, careful not to make noise. The elevator made a jingle. The door closed. And it went down with a low hum.
Still the momentum stayed at its climax. She daren’t speak, whine, cry, move; what if one slight movement ruins it all? Similar feelings had erupted before, and nothing ever happened to her, but what if this time, something did? And then, when the elevator makes its inevitable way back to the top with her in tow, the Emotions would have to subject themselves to that, and such a paralysing sight—
The elevator jingled once again. The door opened. She ran out like lightning and ignored puzzled overnight workers.
She knew not where she was going. But it had to be away from Headquarters.
As far away as possible.